Don’t touch her, you son of a-

He slammed the water bottle down a little too hard, cursing under his breath as he wipes away the remaining water from his lips.

Damn, this again.

He groans.

It’s becoming far more frequent these days that he finds himself getting wiped and tired from ‘that’ way more than he exhausting himself over a workout or a dance rehearsal.

From the corner of his eyes, he watches as she laughs and throws her head back, that melodious laughter that more often brighten any day for him literally.

They were talking and sharing jokes, emitting the breezy anticipated feeling they all should be having now.

Their debut is coming just around the corner and there’s nothing else should matter to all of them at this moment.

All focus, all the energy and all the attention should be about perfecting their performance and making sure that they are doing their best for the long awaited debut.

Then why the hell-

!

He curses again under his breath, ‘that’ also has become a habit he recently acquired it seems.

Running his hand through his hair, he sighs this time, getting frustrated over himself and his confusing state of mind.

He is freaking 25 years old already, not some pubescent kid who has an encounter with his al hormone for the freaking first time.

Then why the hell is he feeling more muddled than any phases of his lifetime right now?

It’s not like they only met just now, he watches her grow up in front of him, from that innocent kid, to the blossoming young girl and now the confident and strong woman she is becoming more by the days, then why the hell it happens now?

They have been in the same group for more than six month already, almost a year since their first induction to the group.

Working together, training together, practising, performing, recording, spending time, eating, playing games, fighting, bantering and so on-

If anything were to happen shouldn’t it happen back then already?

If anything all he felt all these times was the brotherly protective kinda love, the kindred bond that they share as the people who has the same dream with him, the one who will take the same path and journey with him.

These are the people that he values and appreciates as part of his family; the one whom he believes will share his laughter and his tears, who will support and pushes him to achieve his dream as he would the same to them as well.

They are his wings.

Then why is this damning feeling decided to make an appearance now?

He doesn’t need this, he has too many on his plate right now to be worried over.

His dream that he at some time thought would never come true is coming close to be fulfilled.

He is finally going to be on stage for his debut, for his own performance, not for others, but his.

Not only that, he has taken the role of a leader, the one who has others under him, depending on him.

All of that is more than he could and should have handled.

He doesn’t need love waddling pompously onto his plate too.

Resting his head against the wall, he closed his eyes.

Sighing even more, he put the towel over his head, covering his eyes, wanting nothing more than to find some sort peace of mind, at least for a while.

Taking himself out from the surrounding, he breathes in the feeling of isolation.

This is what he needs.

And now he can arrange his thought, set his priority accordingly.

He needs to ensure that his brain is doing all the thinking instead of his heart and definitely not his groin.

Regardless of what, his rationale and logical thinking needs to win this weird tug of war.

It needs to be the victorious one, so he could cast aside everything else and know what matters and important to him.

Yes, that’s right.

Nothing else should matter.

Debut is important.

Keeping the group together and have strong bond is important.

Practise is important.

Spending time together is important.

Brotherly love is essential.

All kind of other love should just go to hell.

He started to breath in relief.

Yes, he should have done this long time ago instead of wasting his time worrying and pondering.

He shouldn’t be throwing away everything just because of a girl.

He felt the insistent poking to his shoulder, and though he tried his best to ignore it, it just grew stronger and eventually evolves into jabbing.

Yanking the towel away, he turns to his side and stopped himself before actually cursing.

Those two round eyes, looking innocently at him, the jabbing hasn’t stop though.

The mischief was quite visible even to him, she was squatting next to him sitting down and even with that, he was still hovering over her.

Grabbing onto her hand, stopping her, he groans.

“Oppa, what are you doing?”

He shouldn’t stare, but goddamit, those damn lips, has it always been that moist and plum before?

“Resting, a little tired.”

He finally answered to her question.

She shakes her head then, “I told you to hold off that gruelling exercise for now. But you won’t listen to me. No, you just need to do that to get a good sleep or whatever.”

He grins, ah that cute nagging that she often has for him.

“Stop smiling and promise me no more going to the gym, at least for now.”

He nodded his head, sighing yet again; he raises his hand to run it through his hair; a habit he often has.

Though this time, she was faster than him.

Her hand was already ruffling his hair, before he noticed it.

“Stop sighing, it’ll be alright. We are already here isn’t it?”

“Yes, it will be alright.”

“And beside you have me now, so everything will be okay now.”

She was half kidding when she said that, he knows it, there’s that twinkling in her eyes, often mesmerized him, making him wanting nothing more than holding on to her, staring into her eyes for eternity.

“You are nothing but trouble to me though.”

She pouted then, “that was mean.”

He yanked her ponytails then, eliciting a yelp from her.

“Better than what you are doing to me now.” He whispers and he gets up and dusted the none-existent dust from his shirt and pants.

Motioning her, he started to walk toward the others, though he was quickly stopped.

Staring at the two small hands holding strongly onto his left hand, he looked up, having her staring at him. Her face looking up to him, eyes staring straight to his eyes, “oppa, I am serious when I said that I’m here for you.” Her voice was trembling; he can see her lips quivering.

It took lots of bravery to say that, isn’t it?

“I know that kid.”

He started to walk away again.

Stopped again.

“What I mean is that-” she was blushing, he noticed that now, the lovely cheeks of hers is now turning into scarlet red. “You don’t need to carry any burden on your own anymore oppa. I might be younger than you, but I will try my best to share any burden with you, oppa.”

Ah, this is too damn cute.

She is just so damn loveable and adorable.

Bending down toward her a little bit, he smiles, caressing her left cheek absentmindedly, “I know that baby girl, and I promise that if I have too much I will seek you out first. Promise.”

He was lying obviously; kinda hard to share with her what’s on his mind if she is what running around that head of his these days.

Though he wouldn’t mind lying over and over again, if the end result would be her beaming, all smiles, face brighten up. As if she has just achieved something that is important to her.

“Okay, since we’ve settled that. On to the next agenda.”

“Huh?”

“We’re hungry.”

Ah, he laughs then, “I guess we need to feed the kids then.”

That’s right he silently, there’s nothing else you need, just her beside you, looking at you like what she is doing right now.

“There you go again, oppa. Even though I am cute and adorable, I’m not a kid! Okay?”

“No, you are definitely not a kid, kiddo.”

Will she freaks out if she knows how much he meant with what he said just now?

Obviously, his love is not some innocent kids’ love isn’t it?

It’s true, pure maybe but obviously carnal too; hidden under this whole stupid paternal love, isn’t it?

For how long will he able to keep this façade though?