Most of his life Johnny wondered around people trying to understand love. “What is it really?” He asked his mom when he was five, she smiled at him and caressed his cheek. “It’s when you care a lot for other person” That simple response made him understand a few things. When he was ten he asked his father, this time Johnny got confused, “Love is… You know, when we feel all fussy inside and… comfortable” After that his father just got up from his chair and gave him a smile. If that was love then he loved everybody, he thought.

He met his first love when he visited Korea with his father, it was winter, and it felt like summer, Johnny had just turn sixteen that month when he saw Yoona, the eighteen year old with that kind smile that reminded him of his mother, she was everything all the other weren’t, he admired her from afar, she was that noona that worked at the coffee shop on the weekends. “Yes, it is love”, Johnny thought when they bumped into each other on the park. She made him feel fussy, nervous and speechless, and that was a lot to say about him. That almost sunny day in the park Johnny was just trying to take some pretty pictures of the place so he can tell his friends how beautiful Korea was, his plan was to go to the coffee shop after a while to watch the pretty girl, everything happened like in a movie, or maybe that’s how Johnny remembers it, he was too busy taking a picture of the trees, they looked pretty with a bright green color from the cold and rain. He was walking towards it without looking around him when all of the sudden he felt how something crashed into him, he fell, and the girl too, it was almost like the time stopped, that brownish long hair waving slowly on the air, his camera crashing on the floor, and a bag dropping all of the stuff inside it was what he remembers clearly. “I am so sorry” that feminine voice which he recognizes right away makes him skip a beat, she doesn’t look at him, Yoona is too busy putting all of her things in the bag, he tries to say something, but his mouth doesn’t open, he doesn’t understand Korean that good, she was beautiful, too pretty for her own good, her hand passed the hair in her face to behind her ear, and then, Johnny knew. “Yes, it is love” He said out loud making her see him, her expression said everything, she did not understand what he said. “Sorry” He finally speaks Korean, his accent is a little off, and she smiles apologetic, “Is this yours?” Yoona asked with his broken camera, Johnny doesn’t get it, but all he does is take it on his hands try to smile like is all okay, but he’s blushing, having her so close makes him so uncomfortable, he can’t even think straight. “I’ll pay you back” She said standing up, he does it too, showing she was almost as tall as him. She takes a pen of her bag and writes her number, and the name of the coffee shop, after that she leaves him with another smile. Johnny is confused, and tries to get what happened, was it real? Did she really gave him his number?

The next week he gets the courage to talk to her, she speaks Korean, he doesn’t get it, he wants to, but Johnny is too shy to ask.

Johnny leaves to Chicago with a broken camera and a good memory, he is sad to leave what he thinks is the love of his life behind, but he knows they will met again, it’s destiny, it’s meant to be. He suddenly grows tall, he now thinks if the woman saw her she would be looking at a man, not a boy. It’s time to go back to the school, his grades drop really fast, he realizes it’s because he wants to go back to Korea, he goes to sleep thinking about Yoona, and he gets up thinking about Yoona. When his parents tell him he needs a tutor he never imagined it would be Doyoung, Johnny doesn’t really like him, Doyoung is the opposite of Yoona. Serious, mean and brutally honest. They have talked before, two years ago, when he was fifteen. Johnny had just bought the camera he wanted with his savings, he was taking photos of everything when he saw two man kissing, it was weird, he didn’t really cared what he saw even if it was right or wrong, he just thought it looked pretty, the way that the older man cupped his hands around Doyoung jaw, it looked like art. He took a picture, and Doyoung saw him, at the time he didn’t say anything, too busy making out. But a few days after the older boy told him to “ off” and “If you say something I will make sure you have no balls”. He didn’t really dislike him, Johnny was a little afraid, Doyoung was the school president, the perfect stereotype from an Asian guy, smart, pretty and nice, at least with everybody but him. Now that Doyoung was about to leave for college and Johnny was a junior it was a little different, Johnny had more friends, he became more popular after he joined the basket team, they never spoke again after that, until that Tuesday. “Your parents asked me to help you with your studies, so it up and focus” Johnny realized Doyoung wore a mask every day, and it must be really tiresome, so he didn’t say anything, and just let the older guy teach him. Within a few weeks he started to understand the older man, and he felt alright, it wasn’t weird anymore, they started to get along, and then became good friends. “It has to be love” Johnny one day thought when he was coming back from school, he started to think like that after he asked Doyoung why he was so busy with Johnny when he could go out with his friends, and he answered, “Because I care about you”. He knew Doyoung came a little early to his house, school for senior was over, in a few months he would be out of here. And that made Johnny sad. When they sat together talking about the new chemistry test he would have the next week Johnny grabbed his hand, he would not commit the same mistake he made with Yoona, this time he would confess, he wasn’t a kid anymore, he was about to turn eighteen, and Doyoung was his new love. “What are you doing?” Doyoung asked with a confused expression. “I like you” Doyoung stared at him, blushing red, he didn’t know what to do. “ I see” His voice was low and he took his hand away from Johnny’s.Doyoung left his house with an “I need to think about it” Johnny didn’t say anything and the next week they met Douyoung said he liked him too. They kissed, it was pure and tender. Johnny’s first kiss was a long time ago, with a girl which name he doesn’t remember, and neither he wants to. Johnny thinks this kiss is the best he has ever had.

Doyoung left for College, Johnny stayed in Chicago. Both of them were busy, but that didn’t stop them to see each other. Yes, Doyoung was mean, picky and needy, and yes, Johnny was really friendly, tolerant and caring, and that’s how their relationship worked. Johnny wanted to live with Doyoung, he always pictured a future with him. When he went to visit him he thought it would be really romantic if he surprised him, so when he got into his apartment really early in the morning to make him breakfast he never imagined Doyoung’s roommate would be sleeping with him. “What the hell?” Johnny’s voice was harsh, even more than he even knew. Doyoung slept with the man who he “hated” or at least that was what he always said about the now Red haired man. “Johnny?” Doyoung woke up, he was , just like other man. “What’s going on” Another man popped out of the bathroom, he was wearing pajama pants, he recognized him right away, it was Jaehyun, Doyoung best friend. Taeyong got up  taking his clothes and taking Jaehyun out of the room with a “It’s better if we leave, babe” Johnny started to cry, the man he was so in love with had cheated on him with not just one man, but two. “Johnny, I am sorry-“ Doyoung was crying too, he know realized what he did. “We are done” Johnny left the apartment with a loud noise of the door closing.

Johnny knows a few things when turns twenty. Yoona is engaged to one of his teachers at college, Douyoung is dating with Taeyong and Jaehyun, and even though he doesn’t understand how that works, he isn’t interested anymore, and the last one is, a small guy is in love with him. Chittaphon is an exchange student that came from Thailand and he has been pestering around Johnny a while now, Johnny gets it, the made out in a party, Ten, as the younger wants to be called, thinks he is in love. It happened fast, Johnny was drunk, and the small guy was alone in a corner, he was pretty, so pretty it bothered him, he looked like Yoona, no, not just that, it was like a combination of two people, his black hair was like Doyoung, and his features looked like Yoona’s. Johnny came up to him and flirted a little, it didn’t take much for them to be making out, he remembers it very well, his lips tasted like beer and cherry, his touch burned everytime he putted his hands in Johnny’s jaw, maybe it was his feline eyes that made him want to spend the night with him, or maybe it was that cheeky smile. The last thing Johnny remembers is taking that boy into his friend’s room, after that it’s all blurry and messy. In the morning, they were cuddling, and when the older woke up he started to make breakfast, the sight of the smaller guy in the morning was tempting, but Johnny didn’t sleep with the same person twice, it wasn’t awkward, Ten had a lot to talk about, and Johnny liked listening at his voice and watching him smile. Since that moment, Ten was in love. “I like you” That’s what he said everytime Johnny tried to make him go away, Johnny didn’t believe in love, neither he was used to it now, but there was something about that boy, he made him feel comfortable. “Ten, what if we are just friends?” Johnny asked the young boy, Ten looked at him and smiled, his heart ache. “I really like you Johnny, I don’t want to be just friends.” He took his things and left. That Friday he understood he screwed up. That exact week passed slowly, Ten wasn’t bothering him, and honestly he kinda missed him, when he saw the younger guy laughing with a girl by his side Johnny didn’t know how to feel, but he knew one thing for sure, he was falling for Ten. This time he wouldn’t let the time pass to think about it, he liked that annoying boy. “Ten” The boy turned around right away, the girl stopped walking too. “Johnny” His voice was softer. “I think I like you too” The taller man said walking closer to Ten, the blush on his cheeks made him feel like when he was sixteen, Ten smiled and hugged him, it was enough for him, with the time he would make sure he would make Johnny liked him as much as he did. The hug for Johnny was just right, it calmed him, and at the same time it made him feel butterflies. Ten was messy, annoying and pretty much a tease, and Johnny was kind, loving and sarcastic, it wasn’t really the best combination, but it worked, Johnny was so childish it made Ten laugh, and Ten was so sassy it made Johnny laugh.

Their relationship was perfect, the best in anybody’s eyes. It’s true they fought, but the always made up. After a few months into the relationship Ten asked a question, “Is this love?” They were both in bed, it was morning and the younger man was resting on the other’s man shoulder, Johnny looked at Ten, he caressed his hair and kissed him tenderly. He finally understood what love meant, love was Ten. “Yes”