It’s past midnight when Johnny slops lazily down the hallway to his dorm room. Midterms are next week, and most of the university seems abuzz, though they haven’t reached panicked levels quite yet. Johnny’s lucky. He’s not into procrastinating right now, and feels fairly confident about his ability to pass. Last semester he came terribly close to failing one of his classes.

Most of the rooms are closed. It’s only Thursday night with the random late night college student heading out for a midnight snack in their pajamas and sandals.

Johnny almost bumps into one of them. It’s a young kid by his face, freshman probably. Something about his face looks familiar, like Johnny’s met him at one point but he can’t really put a name to it. Starts with an M or… who knows.

“Sorry,” he says. Technically it was his fault. Johnny’s the one who turned the corner too sharply and the freshman looks a bit dazed.

“Oh, man, no problem. Wasn’t paying attention.” The kid laughs like this happens a lot. He doesn’t look too scarred. Rather, he waves at Johnny and keeps on walking, sandals flopping against the linoleum and Johnny doesn’t move until they’ve faded away. Something feels, off. A sense of deja vu.

He keeps on going, approaching his dorm room, relief in his body because it’s been a long day and he really just wants to flop on his bed and go to sleep. He freezes though, suddenly uncertain.

There’s a sock on his door. It’s bright red and blue checkered, and smells like a dumpster. The smell of it hits Johnny from two doors away. He wants to gag. He also wants to walk away. A sock on the door is the universal sign that his roommate is getting some action. But Johnny knows his roommate. Well, he thinks he knows his roommate.

He pulls out his key with some hesitation, pauses for a second, and then unlocks the door. It creaks open slowly, like Johnny is afraid to intrude. When no one screams, he opens it all the way and steps inside.

There are two figures on his roommate’s bed, laying on their bellies in front of an open laptop, but they barely move.

“You… aren’t busy then?” asks Johnny, smiling apologetically, he doesn't even know what for.

“Busy?” Taeyong cranes his neck and looks at Johnny. “Uhm, no?” Like he doesn't know why Johnny would ask.

“I put a sock on your door,” says the other boy, Doyoung. He’s Taeyong’s best friend. Johnny doesn’t know him well in spite of the fact he’s over a lot, and he’s also their suite mate from next door. That means they share a bathroom.

Taeyong frowns at him. “Why would you do that?”

Doyoung shrugs. Neither are paying any more attention to Johnny. They’re both fully clothed, sweatpants, hoodies, and socks. Well, Doyoung is only wearing one sock.

Johnny thinks of a million things he might say to the duo. None of them feel right. He’s tried a couple times getting to know the guys, but nothing seems to stick. Taeyong is a nice guy, pleasant to be around, and super neat. Polite enough too that he doesn’t nag Johnny when his stuff occasionally crosses the imaginary boundary between his side of the room and Taeyong’s. Doyoung on the other hand is a little savage. Not intimidating per se, but not the kind of person Johnny’s adept at handling, or befriending.

“Anyone in the bathroom?” he asks.

“Nope,” says Doyoung.

“Maybe,” says Taeyong. “I don’t know.”

They’re still not looking at him, immersed in some flashy music video on Taeyong’s laptop and giggling about it.

Johnny sighs. His eyelids are getting heavy. He should hurry up and change out of his clothes. Organize his bag for tomorrow. Make sure his phone is charging, etc. He shuffles towards his bed and drops his bag. Some of the guys’ conversation wafts across the room.

“, did you see that move?”

Taeyong murmurs. “Yeah, wow… Look at the way he moves.”

“And those eyes,” says Doyoung. He suddenly laughs. “Actually, he looks like Ten. Oh man, that’s so weird.”

“Uhhm. Yeah, I did not want to see that, dude,” Taeyong agrees.

The sound of their gagging accompanies Johnny to the bathroom, toothbrush in hand, and oh okay, Johnny’s seen some of those videos Taeyong loves watching. Guys in hot outfits, dancing and singing, lots of makeup and… now he’s imagining Ten like that, and that is absolutely the lastthing he needs to be thinking of right now. It’s more than weird. It’s also a bit, dangerous. He’s got enough problems with Ten as it is. Namely, that when Johnny pushes open the bathroom door, it’s to find himself standing face to face with The Man himself.

“Hey, Johnny.”

Ten’s eyes light up in the mirror when he spots him, and Johnny freezes.

Half a year ago, Johnny moved into this dorm building and became roommates with Taeyong. Which lead to him meeting Doyoung, whose roommate is Ten, and they live next door but are connected by the communal four-man bathroom which has become such a source of anxiety for Johnny. Mostly because of Ten. A guy who’s been freaking Johnny the out since the day they met.

Ten’s a flirt, and an inconsistent one at that. Some days he’s all smiles, and some days he appears dead to the world. Some days he chats with Johnny, others he just grunts. Some mornings he bangs on the door Johnny’s locked from the inside because he’s a lazy who overslept and is now late for class. Johnny got so tired of it happening he doesn’t bother with the lock anymore, which leads to awkward things happening like Ten coming in to when Johnny’s in the shower. Or Ten brushing his teeth while Johnny’s on the toilet. Or Ten standing trying to shave parts Johnny doesn’t even want to think about, while Johnny’s in the shower. And then there was that one time Ten stepped right into the shower with him with barely an apology and began manhandling Johnny’s shampoo bottle like he owned the thing. Johnny doesn’t think he’s ever going to recover from that one.

“Uhm. Hey.”

“You’re back late,” says Ten, before leaning over to spit into the sink.

Johnny watches the curve of his back, those lean muscles which have been giving him a hard time—literally—since the day Johnny saw him drenched in water under the shower spray.

“Uh, yeah, Studying.”

“Oh yeah, been meaning to do that too.”

“Midterms are kind of next week,” says Johnny.

Ten grins at him through the mirror. “I know.” Then he leans over and rinses his mouth, spits again, rinses, and so on. He’s probably noticed Johnny holding his toothbrush but doesn’t bother scooting over to make room. Johnny is left without option but to wait. It’s not like he’s going to voluntarily stand right next to the guy he’s pretty sure, given a decent chance, he’d actually probably like , flaws and indedency and all.

Shame that isn’t going to happen anytime soon. Johnny’s isn’t Ten’s type. This based on a haphazard study of guys he’s seen Ten hanging out with around campus. Cute guys, heteroual guys. Ten just loves flustering all those heteroual guys, but he doesn’t really date.

“You need to borrow my toothpaste?” says Ten, pulling Johnny out from his depressed musings.

“Uhh, what?”

He hasn’t realized that Ten is done, but Johnny is still standing there.

“Did you forget your toothpaste?” asks Ten, blissfully unaware that that isn’t the reason Johnny’s frozen like a statue.

“Oh, I did.”

Ten grins. “Here. Take it. Just leave it on the sink when you’re done, yeah.”

“Uhh, I will. Thanks.”

“No problem. ‘Night, Johnny,” says Ten, approaching the second door which leads to his and Doyoung’s room.

“‘Night, Ten.”

It takes him a full twenty seconds to pull himself together. Then, using the minimal amount of Ten’s toothpaste as he can get, he brushes his teeth super fast. He leaves the paste on the counter as instructed and returns to his room.

Taeyong and Doyoung are still watching their flashy music videos. It’s loud and all the lights are still on but Johnny doesn’t bother asking them to change. Without saying goodnight, he hops into bed. Of course it takes forever to fall asleep but once he does, he dreams of Ten. Of course he dreams of Ten.

 

College is pretty much what Johnny expected. He’s five hours from home without a single childhood or school friend in the university. He expected to make a couple new friends, maybe a handful of acquaintances, guys he could hang with just to keep the social life aloat. Kind of like high school, which for Johnny wasn’t bad and it wasn’t amazing either.

Jaehyun’s one of those friends. They share the same major so they met freshman year. He’s a pretty chill guy which fits well with Johnny. Maybe Jaehyun isn’t his best friend, but they hang out some days, grab fast food lunch after a common lecture, and every now and then Johnny tags along with Jaehyun and a couple other guys in the evening while everybody whines about their course loads and drinks way too many cokes. They’re not the best pals. Johnny imagines that once he graduates he’ll probably keep in touch with Jaehyun for while until the inevitable happens and they grow more distant. And that’s okay, that’s expected. That’s normal. Until then Johnny’s content to have someone to talk to.

It’s a little weird then when Jaehyun suddenly adds Johnny to a group chat with more names than Johnny knows.

“What’s this?” he asks.

There’s four of them wedged into a booth meant for eight, backpacks everywhere, a few well meaning textbooks for study but nobody’s actually studying. Jaehyun’s on his phone. So is Yuta. Sicheng’s actually asleep with his eyes open, and that’s kind of creepy so Johnny continues scrolling the names of the group chat waiting for Jaehyun to answer.

“Huh?” says Jaehyun finally. “Oh, right. Group chat. I don’t know, just thought it would be fun to add you.”

“Yeah, I get that but who are they?”

Jaehyun shrugs. “Some guys we used to dance with.”

Yuta looks up from his phone. “Oh, the group chat! Nice! I love those guys!”

Jaehyun scoffs. “Right. Says the guy who never gets on or even says, hi.”

“I’m a lurker,” says Yuta. “Lurking’s what I’m a good at.”

“You should say hi sometimes. The kids miss you.”

“Kids?” ask Johnny.

“Oh, the kids. I miss the kids!” says Yuta with feeling. Then his face goes blank and he’s back to his phone.

Jaehyun explains. “The younger guys. We’ve known them for ages. Most of the kids are in high school now. Still dancing. Still got time for that stuff since they’re not in college. I’m jealous…” Jaehyun doesn’t look terribly sad though.

Johnny goes back to scrolling the names. “Hey, I know some of these guys.”

Aside from Jaehyun and Yuta, Taeyong’s name is there, so is Sicheng. From the recesses of his mind Johnny suddenly recalls that yeah, at one point someone told him Taeyong and Jaehyun danced together in some competition group. Known each other since they were practically babies. They don’t hang out much now, obviously. That doesn’t explain why Sicheng’s still around but then, he rarely says much anyway.

“Taeyong’s your roommate, right?” asks Jaehyun.

“Yeah. Wait, Doyoung danced with you guys too?” Johnny frowns at the latest recognized name.

“Nope. We just added him last year because he and Taeyong are inseparable.”

Yuta snorts like he’s privy to some further joke. Jaehyun shushes him. Johnny never finds out what that was about.

He’s too stunned when he sees Ten’s name on the chat. Right on top too, like he’s been active recently. For some reason he’s reluctant to actually say the name out loud. But he’s too curious not to.

“Ah, I know Ten too.”

“You know Ten?” Jaehyun exclaims, like he’s genuinely surprised.

Yuta snorts again.

“He’s my suitemate? And Doyoung’s roommate.”

“Ahh, that makes sense. But yeah, we’ve known him for years.” Jaehyun looks like he’s going to say more but his thoughts trail off and he goes silent. Johnny turns off the app, too intimidated to peruse it further.

“Why’d you add me anyways?”

As Jaehyun hums, Yuta answers for him. “Because he likes to pretend he’s got this grand and awesome social life just like the old days. Hey, Jaehyun,” his voice jumps an octave, mockingly, “you should plan another pool party!”

Jaehyun scowls. “Shut it. That was a long time ago. We were like, twelve.”

“We were sixteen. It was the most uncool party ever.”

“You ate your weight in cake,” says Jaehyun.

“Oh yeah, that part was cool.”  

Johnny stares between them, no words to add. The two grow silent for a while, each to his own phone. Sicheng snoozes on. Eventually Jaehyun says, “Maybe we can plan something soon with everybody. Like a basketball game.”

“God, no. How about football?”

“I don’t like football.”

“You don’t like anything.”

By the conversation’s trajectory, it doesn’t sound like they’ll be planning anything soon. Johnny’s mildly grateful. What would he do anyways if he got invited? Spend time not really talking to his not really friend of a roommate, Taeyong? Spend time swapping toilets with Ten in the bathroom?

The conversation moves on. Eventually Sicheng wakes up, checks his phone and immediately startles. “I’m late! ! Bye!”

“Nice chatting with you too,” says Yuta, emotionless. To Johnny he explains, “I always invite him out, but every time he ends up with Taeil.”

“Who’s Taeil?” asks Johnny.

“Another dancer dude. You wouldn’t know him.”

“Got it.”

 

The next morning comes too early for Johnny. Not that he did anything special the night before. In fact, he can’t recall why the hell he’s even awake. The moon is resolutely shining down through the open mini blinds onto his bed. Which means Taeyong forgot to close them last night. Johnny’s cold too. Which means Taeyong also probably forgot to close the window. He groans and rolls over, pulling the comforter up to his chin. When that doesn’t work to soothe him back to sleep, he discovers the real reason he’s awake.

There’s whispering coming from the other side of the room. Taeyong is apparently awake and complaining about something, Doyoung by the sounds of it.

“, will you stop?” whispers Taeyong.

“Hmm?” comes the sleepy response.

This isn’t the first time Doyoung’s fallen asleep in Taeyong’s bed, but it doesn’t happen often. Doyoung’s room is after all right next door.

“Your elbow, stupid. You keep elbowing me in the ribs.”

Johnny sighs softly. Nothing to hear, he might as well just go to sleep.

“Sorry,” whispers Doyoung.

“Also, why the is your knee in my groin. That’s dangerous, dude.”

“Uhmm. Well you’re the one who’s hard so…”

There’s silence after that, a long pause where nobody moves, not even Johnny, and then Taeyong says, “Out of my bed.”

Doyoung, more awake now, snickers. “What, like I care? Dude, it’s three in the morning, just rub it out.”

“I’m not doing that with you in my bed.”

“Ohh, well excuse me. So what then, you’re gonna do it with your roommate in the room. We’re all guys, just deal with it. I’m going to sleep.”

“Go sleep in your own room.”

“No.”

“Doyoung.”

Doyoung growls. “You know what, just let me do it.”

“What the ?!” screeches Taeyong.

Johnny is not drunk enough for this . He throws off the blanket and sighs extra loud. Taeyong chokes, Doyoung freezes. Johnny just waves at the bed without looking at them. He really doesn’t want to look at them right now.

He’s in the hall before he knows what he’s doing, or where he’s going. He’s not even properly dressed. He’s got no shoes, a ratty T-shirt and well worn sweatpants. And it’s freakin cold in the hallway, colder than his room.

So maybe he overreacted. It’s too late now. There’s a common room downstairs, and Johnny remembers it has nice sofas and soft pillows. Dirty, filthy, pillows, but pillows nonetheless. He takes the stairs extra slow, not trusting his feet after being so rudely awakened so recently ago.

He meets no one on the way there. It’s both too late and too early for most college students to be awake.

But there is someone in the common room. Two someones in fact.

The kid Johnny ran into in the hallway a couple nights ago is splayed out on one of the sofas with a phone growing out of his ear and an exasperated expression. He’s arguing with a guy named Donghyuck. Johnny has no idea what it’s about but whoever this Donghyuck is he’s certainly getting a lecture. Johnny registers the words, school, roof, janitor, and the entire phrase ‘I can’t believe you’re so stupid AND you got caught?’ before he notices the second person.

Ten waves. “Hi, Johnny.”

He’s on the same sofa, opposite corner. His voice is quiet, intentionally soft, not that it needs to be since the other kid’s practically yelling into his phone. “Isn’t it pretty early for you?”

“Could say the same for you. Have you even gone to bed?” Johnny looks between Ten and the other guy.

“Oh, no, I haven’t.” Ten clasps his hands together, and Johnny is mesmerized by how his fingers fold in on themselves. “Been up with this guy for hours. Moral support and all. Do you guys know each other?” He nudges the kid. “Mark? Johnny? Johnny, this is Mark, my son.”

‘Ten’s son’ pauses for one short second, nods, then goes right back to lecturing.

“Sorry about that,” Ten apologizes. “Mutual friend got into some stupid earlier. So, what’s up with you? Couldn’t sleep?”

Johnny shrugs. He’d rather not mention the reason he’s out wandering the dorm in the middle of the night. “Dunno. Thirsty, maybe.”

“Yeah?” Ten’s got that flirty look about him now. “What for? Coke, Sprite, Soju? Something else?”

Johnny doesn’t know what to say. “Uhm. Water?”

“There’s water in the our bathroom sink, but hey, you’re in luck! There’s a bathroom down here too!” Ten giggles. Johnny finds himself still standing in the middle of the room.

“M-maybe in a bit.”

There’s a lull in Mark’s conversation; perhaps he’s finally letting the other guy talk. Johnny doesn’t know, because Ten is scooting over to the middle of the sofa and patting the warm spot for Johnny to sit. There are three over sofas and various chairs, but for some reason Ten’s inviting him to next to him?

It’d be impolite if he refused. Johnny sits.

Something’s been bothering him lately. That sense of deja vu. Like he’s living in an ultimate reality world and this is everything he expected it to be. Except it’s not actually. All his acquaintances, his few good friends. That ridiculous group chat Johnny doesn’t know how to jump into; the slight and occasionally overwhelming sadness that comes from Jaehyun’s and Yuta’s inability to keep up with their apparent friends. Half of them even live on campus from what Johnny is starting to put together. It’s not his business. It shouldn’t be his business, but even this run in with Ten feels strange.

Like he’s done it before, somewhere. Somewhere else.

“I saw Jaehyun added you to the group chat,” says Ten out of nowhere.

“Oh, yeah. I don’t know why he did that.”

Ten smiles. “It’s not a bad thing. You should talk some. I think you know most of the guys. Well, maybe half. The others aren’t bad either.”

Mark takes this opportunity to interrupt. “Except for Donghyuck, don’t ever talk to him, he’ll age you thirty years in one night.”

Johnny grins. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He’s got another question though, one Jaehyun couldn’t answer. One Yuta probably wouldn’t answer. Something he’d be too uncomfortable asking of Taeyong.

“I heard you were all in a dance group. How come… how come you don’t hang out anymore?”

Ten shrugs. “Life? I don't know. It’s a good question. We all just got busy. Kind of sad now that I think about it. Why do you ask?”

“No real reason. I just started thinking about it. I guess that’s pretty typical though, right? Just normal life.”

Ten’s eyebrows raise. “That’s your definition of normal?”

“M-maybe.” He’s mumbling now, a little embarrassed to be having this conversation. He and Ten aren’t even friends. What’s Johnny got that he can comment on the state of a pack of guys who used to do everything together and now they don’t?

“I think you need a better definition of normal,” says Ten. And oh, he’s got that flirty look back in his eyes.

“Do I?” asks Johnny. He’s not sure he has the courage to pursue this. This is dangerous territory in that Johnny knows well how hard he could fall. Forget his little crush, he’s been fantasizing about Ten for months now, especially after that first ‘shower’ incident. And unfortunately, none of that other annoying, nasty Ten does can override that.

There’s a fine line he’s crossing right now, when Ten throws him that smirk and Johnny doesn’t look away. He could look away and that would be the end.

He doesn’t. Instead, Johnny takes the challenge.

Ten his lips, drawing Johnny’s eyes downwards. Mark chooses that moment to finally end his call and look over at the two of them.

“Woahh, okay then. You know what, guys, I’m out of here.”

As soon as he’s gone from the room, Ten leans right into Johnny’s space. Then there’s a hand at Johnny’s waistline, Ten’s thumbs caressing the waistband of Johnny’s sweatpants.

“Hey, Johnny?”

“Hmmm.”

“Can I… you off?”

“Hmm,” he mumbles again. “Yeah. Yeah, you can.”

---

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Notes:

A writer's exercise in realism. Idek. Just wanted to explore both sides of this complicated thing we call 'friendship' in a way that wasn't downright depressing.

Hope you liked! Please leave a comment, or talk to me on Twitter, also CC. This is only my second fic in this fandom. Eek!!