"I want you to be happy” came Jaejoong's voice, weakened by international landlines and bled dry of remorse. ”I want you to be happy, but I want me to be happy too”.

On the other end, Yunho admired his knuckles as they turned white against the counter top, bitterly letting the words spill out of the receiver, flood the room, soak into the carpets and submerge the whole apartment. There mere weight of the message they carried was enough to bring down the walls around him. Shatter his hope.

”We need to do this, Yunho. We need to pull through and accept that things weren't going to work out. We need to move on.”

For the first time in his life, he felt brittle. Like he would break if someone touched him.

”Yunho, say something.”

The silence was overbearing, and Yunho listened to Jaejoong's breathing and the sound of two familiar voices talking quietly in the background. He held his own breath and listened to the voices, voices he would know anywhere, the voices he knew better than anyone else. Voices belonging to people he obviously hadn't known well enough.

”I can't believe I'm not a part of 'us' anymore” he finally said, his shoulders slumping forward in realization. He said it more to himself than to anyone else. It was like an out-of-body experience – he felt like he was standing across the room, watching himself crumble under the weight of the conversation.

“I can't believe it”. He paused trying to find the right words, to add something. His throat was dry. “After all we've been through.. you're telling me this is it?” he could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as the true meaning of what Jaejoong was saying enveloped him.

“You'll always be a part of us. We would never even have been if it weren't for you. You carried us through all of this, Yunho, don't for a second think that we've forgotten that. You and Changmin, you still matter the most to us. We've just.. we've dug ourselves deep, Yunho. There was no other way. We love you both.”

Yunho heard the soft sound of socked feet in the hallway, coming to a halt at the doorway.

“You broke us” he said softly, turning around to face a red eyed Changmin. He was shaking his head softly, looking at the floor.

“I'm sorry. We love you. I'm so sorry.”

Sighing, Yunho took deep breaths and blinked hard, fighting the tears threatening to fall. “Just tell me this..” he began, meeting Changmin's now lifted gaze and reaching out for him across the dark kitchen, beckoning him to take his hand. “was it worth it?”

“What do you think?” Jae bit back, his voice breaking. “Do you think this is what we wanted?”. Sharp intake of breath. “We couldn't go on like that, it was destroying all of us. We had to do something, Yunho, we had to at least try. We did this because we thought it would save us. All of us.”

Yunho felt the first tears fall, and Changmin gripped his hand tightly. He continued to listen to the silent breathing coming from the other side as Changmin wiped his wet cheeks with the back of his hand.

“Well, I guess we couldn't be saved.” he said, disconnecting the call.