Hoseok avoids everyone as he shuffles through the dorm. He'd been the leader of the winning team, he'd gotten himself and his fellow trainees through to compete another day. 

But, he also had sent one home.  

The brightest, the sweetest trainee in the dorm, Minkyun, is now gone. Because of him. 

No one congratulates him on his win. After all, why should they? He'd just been singlehandedly responsible for building the better team, for getting one of their friends sent home. He keeps his head down, needing to get out. The dorm suddenly feels much too small as their collective heartbreak keeps the air from entering his lungs. 

So, with that in mind, he heads up to the balcony. He leaves the dorm with his eyes trained to the floor in shame, completely missing the concerned glance a certain vocalist throws him. 

The No.Mercy trainees eat dinner together, cherishing each and every moment they have left with Minkyun before he's tossed out of the dorm and forced into the one meant for the rejects of the show. Kihyun seems to be the only one to notice the absence of that black-haired hyung of his. He glances to the door with pursed lips, his brow furrowed in concern.  

"I can help with cleanup tonight if you want, Kihyun-hyung," Jooheon offers, standing with the rest of them after finishing the meal. Kihyun hums distractedly, making as if to leave the room. 

"Just put everything on to soak, and I'll clean it all later," he tells his dongsaeng over his shoulder. Jooheon frowns in confusion but moves to comply, anyway, wrangling in a particularly moody Gunhee into helping, too. After grabbing a few blankets from the living room, Kihyun slips on his shoes and slips out the door, knowing exactly where to go. 

Despite Hoseok's fear of heights, Kihyun had learned early on how the sentimental vocalist loved to go up there and think. He'd always say that people don't just stop and look up at the stars enough, that there's all this beauty around them but it goes unnoticed because people are too busy when walking through the streets.  

Kihyun had felt a certain twinge of affection pull at his heart as Hoseok had told him all that their first night living together after Kihyun had moved into the dorm, a feeling that lingers no matter how much the man tells himself to ignore it, to let it die within him so it won't cause any more trouble than they already have in their hectic lives. 

The young man gets to the top-level balcony soon enough. He shivers immediately upon stepping out into the frigid January air. He wraps the blankets around himself, somehow managing to balance it all as he steps onto the metal ladder leading up to the rooftop. He climbs it rung by silver rung, the metal freezing the blood in his pudgy hands.  

He rolls up off the ladder and onto the tiled roof, crawling over to the hyung that's always more trouble than he's worth. Hoseok doesn't even spare him a glance, his dark eyes glued to the starry sky above them. Kihyun fiddles with the blankets, spreading them out over Hoseok while still leaving enough room for himself.  

He snuggles underneath them once he's finished setting them down as meticulously as humanly possible, low-key taking the chance to curl up against Hoseok's side. He'll take whatever chance he can to innocently cuddle with the older, repressed crush or not. The older's arm naturally wraps around Kihyun's small, slightly shaking frame, and Kihyun uses his broad chest as a pillow as he follows the man's gaze to the twinkling fragments of Heaven hanging above them. 

"… It's my fault, Kihyunnie" Hoseok mumbles, his voice subdued with guilt and shame. Kihyun frowns, tightening his hold around the older's middle. "I was responsible for them losing, so I'm responsible for him leaving." 

"Don't be ridiculous," Kihyun sighs, his thumb drifting back and forth atop Hoseok's thin shirt consolingly. 

"I'm not," the older insists, but Kihyun stops him. 

"Minkyunnie's leaving has less to do with you than it does his overall performance throughout this competition," Kihyun tells him plainly. "He's been struggling since the first challenge. We're all going to miss him, and we're all devastated that he's leaving, but you didn't personally vote him out, so it isn't your fault. You only did what you were supposed to do as our leader. Would you have rather we lost, that I was the one leaving?"  

Hoseok's hold on the younger tightens instinctively at the thought, unable to even imagine what it'd be like without waking up to Kihyun every morning, eating Kihyun's cooking, hearing his beautiful voice every chance the younger has a chance to belt out a chord. The reaction knocks the breath out of Kihyun's chest, but he doesn't complain. He just nestles even closer to the older. 

"This is just survivor's guilt, hyung," Kihyun goes on, his tone much softer than before. "There's going to be a lot more, and it's only going to get worse. But, we'll learn to live with it eventually, and long after debut we won't feel like this anymore." Hoseok's chest rises and falls as he releases a small chuckle, his warm breath ruffling Kihyun's hair. 

"You saying you wanna debut with me, Kihyunnie?" he asks, halfly teasing as a way to break the tension in the air. Kihyun shifts then, squirming about until he's staring right into Hoseok's eyes. It's moments like this, when this willful, prideful, beautiful, wonderful dongsaeng of his steals away Hoseok's breaths and he loses himself in the younger's eyes.  

"I'd thought that went without saying," the shorter replies, full of sincerity. Hoseok gives him a shaky smile, and Kihyun returns the expression, albeit much more stable, before settling back down atop his chest.  

The two heave a simultaneous sigh, neither saying another word the entire night.  

They awaken with the dawn and sneak back in before any of the others can notice their absence, washing up the dishes Jooheon had left soaking in the kitchen overnight before starting on making breakfast. 

Sideways glances and tentative smiles pass between them as they work seamlessly together, and Kihyun is filled with the foreboding knowledge that they'll be okay, no matter what this crazy company throws at them. They'll be okay, just so long as they have each other in... one way or another.