There was the opening, and the slamming of a door. In a drunken stupor, Sanghyuk knew he wasn’t thinking straight — but he also knew he couldn’t imagine what he saw. He knew he shouldn’t of gone to that party; he had far too much homework to do. But Jaehwan begged and begged, and who was the younger to say no? 

 

But he should’ve. He should’ve said no; to spare him from the rollercoaster of intense emotion he was feeling. 

 

Struggling to kick off his shoes, it took a moment before the six-foot-one frame fell back onto the twin-sized dorm room bed. Eyes closed tightly, and Sanghyuk dug the heels of his palms against his eyelids, mentally begging for the image of a brown haired figure running a dainty finger up toned biceps, that were concealed by a loose black t-shirt. 

 

He could still hear the airy laugh, as if the girl had said something funny. Sanghyuk bit the inside of his cheek, an uncontrollable rage blooming in his chest, and he reached for the nearest thing and threw it across the room with a shout. 

His gaming console remote didn’t stand a chance, as it smashed against the wall. 

 

Tears burned behind his eyes, but he refused to shed them. Why was he feeling like this? Why was he so upset over the events that had taken place? He felt like he was being torn apart from betrayal, and an angry sadness over losing something; but what had he lost? 

 

Taekwoon was just his friend, an older friend Sanghyuk has known since he was ten, running around his yard barefoot. So why did he feel like his heart was being stepped on at the mere sight of a girl flirting with Taekwoon? 

He couldn’t think straight now, his mind felt hazy. Would everything make sense in the morning?

Goodness, he hoped so.

 

 

Everything was not better in the morning. Sanghyuk woke up with a splitting headache, and a dry mouth. He let out a groan as he pushed himself up and out of bed, squinted eyes looking around the room. He noticed the absence of Jaehwan, meaning he didn’t come home from the party last night. 

Sanghyuk couldn’t find it in himself to worry yet. 

 

Struggling to the bathroom, he opted to brush his teeth in the shower while he desperately tried to rid himself of the scent of alcohol. He told himself to call Jaehwan later, make sure he had made it somewhere relatively safe last night; and then call someone else to bring him ibuprofen. Usually, Taekwoon would be that call.

But much to Sanghyuk’s distaste, his memories didn’t evaporate when he sobered up. 

 

His eyes closed, the steaming water running over his bare shoulders as he remembered a small pink tongue flicking over a bottom lip in a nervous habit. His fists clenched, the same time his heart constricted. 

 

“,” he whispered aloud, eyes opening as he stared up, at the porcelain tiled wall of his dorm’s shower. 

He had to call Jaehwan, or Hakyeon... even Hongbin. Someone to sit down and let Sanghyuk go through all these emotions, and then for them to tell him what the hell was wrong. He knew it couldn’t be normal for a single person to replay a scene over and over in their mind, and then progressively digress when it came to their emotional health. 

 

Turning off the water, after washing his hair, Sanghyuk stepped out into the cold air of his bathroom, wrapping a red towel around his waist. Stepping out into his room; he almost had a heart attack. 

Of course, whatever fates there were in the world just had to screw him over; because, sure enough, there stood Taekwoon. 

 

Standing at six foot, with a slender figure. Taekwoon looked more intimidating than anything, but after so many years, the younger knew he was anything but. 

When said person heard the bathroom door open, cat-like eyes turned in Sanghyuk’s direction, and pink lips tipped up in the smallest of smiles.

 

“Sanghyuk-ah,” Taekwoon greeted in a small voice, accompanied by a small wave of slender fingers. 

Sanghyuk couldn’t bring himself to look at the other, as he looked away the second he had recognised who stood in his room.

 

“What’s up?” Asked Sanghyuk, moving to  tug on a shirt, suddenly self conscious of his body in front of the other. 

 

Taekwoon‘s head tilted to the side as he watched the younger mull about the room, his eyebrows creased. Sanghyuk suddenly seemed reserved, which wasn’t in character for him. 

“You left the party quite early last night,” said the older, his tongue darting out to across his bottom lip. “I was worried, but couldn’t bring myself to stop in last night.” 

 

Sanghyuk tried to ignore the anger that rose up in him then. The anger that was completely unnecessary. But it was Taekwoon’s fault he had left, after all. 

 

Still in a towel, the younger felt exposed, as Taekwoon stared at him with creased eyebrows. He looked as if he wanted to say something, ask something. But he bit his lip instead, and stepped towards the door.

 

“I see you were busy and not ready for company,” The quiet voice spoke again, and Sanghyuk felt as if his heart had dropped to his stomach.

“I’ll leave. See you at lunch?” The elder asked, voice sounding all too hopeful. 

 

Sanghyuk was being cruel, he knew. Taekwoon hadn’t done anything wrong, in all actuality. They were college students, at a party. You’re suppose to flirt, get together with people. That’s all that had happened.

But Sanghyuk couldn’t see past the red haze he felt whenever he thought of last night. Because that girl had touched Taekwoon; and since he left, maybe more. And that made him angry, but he couldn’t tell why. 

 

The younger didn’t even get the chance to say bye to Taekwoon, too lost in his thoughts, before he heard the quiet click of his dorm door. Everything Taekwoon did was quiet, even the exits he made. 

 

“,” Sanghyuk found himself saying for the second time that same morning, and quickly proceeded to get dressed. He desperately needed to call Jaehwan. At least his headache was gone. 

 

 

 

Sanghyuk skipped first class, then second. He felt no motivation to get up and go anywhere after his meet up with Taekwoon. It was only when Jaehwan practically broke the door as he violently opened it, did he stir from his place in bed.

 

“Hyukkie!!” His annoying roommate shouted, barrelling into the bedroom with worried eyes. “Where have you been?” He demanded

 

Sanghyuk scoffed, brown eyes glancing up.

“I could ask you the same thing.” 

 

A brilliant blush that the younger hadn’t been expected bloomed over Jaehwan’s cheeks, but the elder shook it off. 

“That’s not important right now. I’m asking where were you? You left from the party, then didn’t show up to class.” 

 

“Pouting,” Sanghyuk openly admitted, rolling over into his back so he could stare up at the ceiling. His line of sight was interrupted by his roommate’s face, which hovered above his on.

 

Jaehwan’s head tilted and he grinned. “Pouting over what?” He questioned

 

Nearly bumping heads with the elder has he straightened up, Sanghyuk sat up in bed and crossed his arms. 

“Some chick flirted with Taekwoon last night,” the younger began to explain. “And it pissed me off for some reason. I don’t know why, but I... I left after seeing that.” 

 

It was almost comical, how Jaehwan’s eyes had widened. The younger thought they were gonna bug out of his head, until he began to laugh hysterically. 

 

“! You’ve got to be kidding?” The elder asked, to which Sanghyuk shook his head.

“You got jealous because some girl flirted with Taekwoon?”

 

It was Sanghyuk’s turn to blush now, but whether it be out of anger or embarrassment, he wasn’t ready to admit.

“Jealous? Yeah right!” He rebutted, shaking his head. “Why would I be jealous of that? Maybe it was just because she looked trashy. Taekwoon can do better,” but even saying that left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

Sanghyuk would rather Taekwoon remain single; he didn’t look good with someone else. 

 

Jaehwan had watched the lines of Sanghyuk’s face contort with each thought that cross the younger’s mind. His mouth pressed into a thin line, and he reached out to tap the younger on the knee. 

 

“Hey, it’s okay to admit it. Sometimes, these things hit us like a freight train. Just look at me and Hongbi—“

 

Sanghyuk’s eyes widened as he finally caught on to where Jaehwan was going, and he practically leapt out of bed to his feet.

“I don’t have feelings for Taekwoon!” He practically screeched, arms hugging himself. What the hell was his roommate thinking? 

 

Jaehwan blinked in surprise at the younger’s sudden outburst, and held up his hands in defence.

“Hey, calm down. I didn’t mean anything bad by the implications!! It was just what I gathered, Hyukkie. Just... think about it; why else would you get inexplicably mad over someone flirting with him? Don’t say it’s because she looked trashy, or because you worried for his well-being. You didn’t get mad when Hakyeon slept with a rather questionable person last week. You didn’t even bat an eyelash at that. So why with Taekwoon? Think about it, Sanghyuk. How do you see your friend?”

 

Ears burning, Sanghyuk forced out the only words that came to mind.

“But he’s not gay.”

 

And that brought about another round of laughter from Jaehwan, and Sanghyuk felt utterly scandalised by it. 

“You’ve known him for what? Since you were ten? That’s twelve years; and you still don’t know Taekwoon swings both ways?” 

 

The younger felt like his world was crashing down around him at the information. Him? Have feelings for Taekwoon? 

Taekwoon? Swinging for both teams? 

Him... having feelings for Taekwoon.

 

“Oh my god,” he whispered, nearly stumbling back. 

He could see Taekwoon there, in his mind, with his freshly bleached blond hair and shy smile. He was always so kind, even when he looked quite intimidating. His eyes always looked at Sanghyuk in the softest ways; and his voice called his name so softly — always. 

He always treated Sanghyuk better than the rest. Even when they were kids, and he was two grades ahead. He would always make sure Sanghyuk was doing okay, and no one was picking on him. 

 

Sanghyuk’s heart pounded in his chest, and he looked at Jaehwan who only nodded, making a gesture to the door as if to tell him.

“Go get him.” 

 

Could he do it? He wasn’t even one-hundred percent sure about this. What if Taekwoon didn’t feel anything romantic towards him? That was a real fear.

A fear Sanghyuk had just come to realise could cripple him. 

 

He was moving towards, and out the door before he could really register his movements, then he was making his way towards Taekwoon’s room, where he would be since his classes ended a half hour ago.

Sure, he could just wait for lunch, but that would ruin Sanghyuk’s confidence, and he needed that right now. 

 

Coming to the plain, gray door, Sanghyuk didn’t even knock before he was opening it.

 

Taekwoon almost jumped out of his skin when the younger appeared in his doorway. He had just been studying, a book spread out on his desk, but now he had his best friend hovering at the door, looking incredibly nervous. The elder was about ask what was wrong, but Sanghyuk spoke far too quickly. 

 

“I like you,” he forced out, his fingers trembling from where they rested at his side. “Maybe, it’s more than like. But I’m not ready to admit that,” he added, in a breath.

 

Taekwoon had stood up, and was slowly making his way towards the younger, his trademark smile on his pink lips.

“What?” He asked softly, curiosity sparking in his eyes. “What’s this all of a sudden?” 

 

Sanghyuk in a breath, eyes closing tightly, and he looked away. He was losing confidence the more and more he stood there, with Taekwoon’s cat-like watching him. 

“I-I,” he tried to speak, but when had his friend gotten so close? 

 

“Last night,” he began, keeping his eyes closed. He could do this if Taekwoon wasn’t looking at him. He could do this. 

“That girl, I saw you and her. It made me so mad, Woon. You don’t even know. I was so angry. Jaehwan and me talked when he came home a-and I think I came to a much needed realisation. I know it’s kind of sudden, and you surely don’t have to feel the same; at all. We’ve been friends for so long and I don’t want to rui—“

 

It was so cliché, really. The way Taekwoon’s pink, soft lips pressed into Sanghyuk’s own to shut him up. It was so cliché, but it made the younger melt. 

 

Strong arms pulled the taller closer, and lips meshed beautifully together. Taekwoon kissed him as if Sanghyuk was a long-lost lover, finally returning to him. Where had his best friend learned to kiss so well? That was a conversation for another day. 

A tongue pressed insistently to the younger’s bottom lip, and Sanghyuk let Taekwoon in, letting him take the reigns. It was heated, as if it had been boiling between the two for years. And maybe it had been. 

 

They ended up on the bed, Taekwoon moving them backwards, where they collapsed in a tangle of limbs. 

The elder pulled back, just briefly enough to catch a breath, and stare at Sanghyuk with such longing, as if the younger wasn’t right there.

“Finally,” he mumbled, “I’ve been waiting for this. I was prepared to wait forever for this.” 

 

Sanghyuk felt his heart pound even quicker at those words. He couldn’t believe he would’ve let this slip by if he didn’t go to that party last night, and the series of events didn’t follow. 

He had no words to explain what he was feeling, so he pressed another kiss to Taekwoon’s lips, and was greeted with the most precious laugh, before the elder kissed him in return.