september 25

ink smells like rain,
it makes ocean-colored words
meaningful.
i smell like longing,
i can't reach the darkness
you got lost in.
days are passing,
‪the sun sets but the sky stays dark.‬
months are passing,
stars shine more bright.
years are passing,

kim yongsun doesn't come back.

october 1

as this gets harder,
my breath disappears.
i don't know, if i miss you.
nature is betraying me.
the flower doesn't have a smell,
the sun doesn't set,
and... do you know what?

god kills himself everyday,
but he never dies.

october 3

kim yongsun;

my lips,
are quite empty.

my mind,
is quite empty.

my words,
are quite empty.

i am missing you,
in the emptiness i got lost.
i am drowning,
in the emptiness you had lost.

you are a poem that breathes.

october 7

god tried to kill himself,
and failed again.
i wanted to tell him, he is incompetent.
and i realized,
he is the one who created you.

you are perfect to me.
you were. 

october 9

i was thinking,
you are here.
you were here.
you will be here.

and i realized,
the sun doesn't set.
time doesn't pass.
and stars still shining.

and i remembered,

kim yongsun doesn't come back.

october 11

i want to scream till i lost my voice.
i want to know why you are gone.
i want kim yongsun to come back.

but the problem is,

kim yongsun doesn't come back.

october 15

i can't see you in the moonlight.
so please turn your body to the sun.

leave the stars you are trapped in,
so we can breathe together.

october 20

my tears,
as intense as the sky.
my mind,
as deep as the ocean.
my heart,
as pure as the land.

my love,
as passionate as a mother's love.

it is all for you,
it will be here forever. 

october 23

this words,
they will leave me one day.

when that day comes,
how else will i show my love for you?

october 26

it is raining.
for you,
it leaves an entreaty. 
the dark night,
wakes up with a scream.

this time, god is dying. 

october 27

god died yesterday.

october 28

it is raining again.
two years ago,
on a stormy tuesday,

kim yongsun died.

she killed herself,
with a gun.

the rain turned
to blood.

kim yongsun's blood.

god
took a gun.

god
killed himself.

but i wonder,
who loaded the gun?

november 1

kim yongsun,
she saw how her life murdered.

two years ago, on an october night.

her mom died.
her sister died.
her father died.

on the other hand,
kim yongsun was killed.

by herself.

november 3

who killed them?

who killed them?

kim yongsun, who will never come,
killed herself.

and i killed,
her family.

nothingness. eternity.

i wanted kim yongsun to be mine.

i'm in love with her,
like an endless emptiness.

i want you to be mine, kim yongsun.

i didn't want you to love somebody.

and you tried to kill me,
but i didn't let you.

you couldn't stand.
you stuck a bullet in your head.

for a week,
you looked with love
at the person who killed your family.

i am sorry kim yongsun.
now, i will die and come to you.

cause i need to be with you.

i need to be with my god.

god forgive me.
this is just love.

this is just love. 

— end

i have no idea why i wrote this but thank you so so so so much for reading