Mingyu saw him for the first time when he was in Korea, Mingyu was just seventeen, he remembered it perfectly because that was the first time he ever felt what others might define as happiness. Mingyu saw him and he felt his happiness. He was a bright kid with the sweetest smile, totally not someone that Mingyu could ever get close to. Mingyu would do absolutely anything to feel that again. At the age of seventeen, Mingyu had witnessed more kills than any seventeen year old teenager should have. He knew there were bad people out there. This kid, Mingyu assumed, couldn’t be more than fifteen and he hadn’t faced the real cruel world. Mingyu prayed for him to never lose that smile, to never witness the dark side of this world. He wished his parents would keep him away somewhere far, far away from Mingyu’s world. Mingyu couldn’t help but take another glance at that kid and he gasped as he saw that kid looking at him. Mingyu just stared at him until he flashed Mingyu an innocent smile. Mingyu looked away. He knew that the kid must have thought that everyone was good, that there was no evil thing in this world. Mingyu didn’t want to imagine how this world would take that innocent smile from that kid. Mingyu walked away, promised himself he would never do any bad thing to an innocent kid.

Three years later, Mingyu had lost count of how many innocent smiles he had taken from people, kind people, bad people, just people who crossed path with his family and didn’t have a fortunate life. Mingyu hadn’t stopped asking himself why he would do the things he was doing, why he hurt people. His father had given him the ultimate answer though, “you’re a part of this family, Kim Mingyu! Get your head straight, you don’t really hurt them, they deserve it!” Mingyu wasn’t really a fan of his father, considering how many punches or kicks or hits he had given Mingyu. “You can’t be weak! You won’t survive! Get up!” Mingyu still got nightmare about those times his father would hit him without mercy when he did something wrong, when he was just so tired, when he simply helped an elderly woman. He had had worse nightmare though, those cries for him to stop before he killed those people. One thing he had learnt, never show mercy!

His father never forgave anyone without compensation. He had seen his hyungs cut their fingers, enough to remind him not to make any mistake himself. He remembered crying, the first time he had seen his hyung’s finger went off. His father had knocked him off for shredding tears. He was just seven for crying out loud. When kids his age would cry to their parents to buy them toys or candies, he begged his father to stop the punches because he couldn’t take it anymore. Later, he learnt, never begged, his father wouldn’t stop anyway, just endure it for a while then he would just be numb and his father knew he had learnt his lesson. So yeah, he never went to school, he had learnt his lessons at home. His father would teach him about how the real world worked, how to survive, how to be the Kim clan’s heir. He learnt how to read from Kim Seokjin, his hyung, everyone lived with him were his hyungs. They had raised him alongside his father, there was never a mother for Kim Mingyu.

Mingyu had his first kill when he was thirteen. “Just a shot to the head.” He recalled his father’s instruction. Mingyu didn’t know the man who was laying there. He didn’t know why he had to kill him. His father gave him his gun. “Don’t disappoint us.” His father had whispered coldly to him. He knew he wouldn’t miss, he had trained with guns for years to know that much. He had countless hit for missing the target, countless punch for losing to his hyungs in battles. Mingyu grabbed the gun so hard that his hand almost lost the feel, maybe he his hand had gone numb as he raised the gun and aimed at the man’s head. He was scared to death but he made sure not to show it. He imagined himself being somewhere else, living another life, a normal life, being thirteen, crushing on a boy. He pulled the trigger to push those thoughts away. The next thing he knew, his walked and everyone walked away, with that man, that dead man. His legs gave up on him, he fell down, sat there with his trembling hands.

When Mingyu had turned twenty, he had gained the trust and respects from everyone in his clan. He solved all problems his father asked him to, he killed all traitors, he killed everyone who tried to steal from his father, he killed everyone getting on his father’s way. He killed and killed that the only thing he had been good at was killing. He did learnt how to cook and bake from Sukjin hyung though and he found that cooking and baking weren’t so bad. Everyone had said that he was a good cook and his father had not said anything about cooking. He felt calm that he was holding his knife right, to slice the vegetables, to chop the meat, to make people happy. He had almost forgotten what it felt to be free from killing. However, he had found out that he couldn’t eat his own cooking. He would throw up no matter how hard he try to swallow. Those times he cooked for his hyungs, he would just eat plain white rice. His father didn’t need to know this.

Wonwoo, Jeon Wonwoo, the baby of the family, that poor kid didn’t even know what his beloved daddy did for a living. He would have understood if anyone told him, but no one ever did. All he ever knew was his father was a nice father who was left alone by his dead mother. He had lived with his father, aunt Lu and his hyungs. His father and hyungs would leave for a long time, sometimes they could be gone for more than a month, sometimes more, sometimes they would comeback after days. When he asked his aunt Lu, she would say that they had business to take care of, that he didn’t need to worry. Wonwoo never understood how he had that many hyungs, everyone came to their house was his hyung, his father had explained to him. He showed him his tattoo, his mark on his left chest. “This is our family’s mark, Wonwoo-ya. Our family all have it, you too. Yours is here.” His father showed him his mark on his right lower back. Wonwoo had thought that it was cool. He was ten and old enough to accept that everyone with that mark was his family.

“But daddy, Soonyoung and I are both ten, who’s the hyung then?” His father had laughed at him for being so cute. “Soonyoung and you are same aged friends, Wonwoo-ya.” Wonwoo pouted. “But he also has the mark, he’s family. I want to be his hyung!” Wonwoo pointed at Soonyoung who was glaring at him but didn’t say anything. “Soonyoung is taller and bigger though, he is the hyung, Wonwoo-ya.” His father patted Soonyoung at the back. “I’ll be taller! When I get taller than Soonyoungie, can I be the hyung?” His father laughed again. “It doesn’t work that way, Wonwoo. Soonyoung is the hyung and he will protect you, right, Soonyoung?” Soonyoung sat straight and nodded. Wonwoo did not really like Soonyoung because when Wonwoo talked to him, he would just ignore Wonwoo and refused to play with him. He would just go with other hyungs when they were back. He talked a lot with others except Wonwoo. Soonyoung had refused to go to school with Wonwoo too.

Soonyoung came when they were both 10. His father had told him that Soonyoung would be his friend and he was so excited to finally have a friend. All this time, he just had his hyungs. They would teach him how to shoot, how to use swords, they would play the fighting games. He got tired of it but his father insisted him to do it. His father would then buy him the books he wanted. He was happy that finally he could have someone his age to walk to school, he wouldn’t be such a loner anymore. Seungcheol hyung used to go to with him, but now Seungcheol hyung had graduated high school and did business with his father. Usually uncle Oh would send him to school, he looked so tall and Wonwoo’s friends were scared of him that they never wanted to play with Wonwoo anymore. 10 year old Wonwoo was lonely. Now that Soonyoung was here, he would be Wonwoo’s first best friend, real best friend. Wonwoo didn’t understand why Soonyoung seemed to hate him but he remembered his father told him that he would get whatever he wanted if he tried hard enough. He was so glad because a year later, eleven year old Wonwoo and Soonyoung were best friends. They were inseparable. Little did Wonwoo know, Soonyoung had only one mission, to protect Wonwoo.

Soonyoung would like to think his life started at 10. His life before that wasn’t his anymore. Wonwoo’s dad found him dying being abused by his own father. His father had blamed him for his mother’s death. He didn’t even remember how his mother died. He watched his father died and had no regret to beg Wonwoo’s dad to take him. He owed him his life. When they arrived at the new home, Soonyoung only had his backpack with his jeans and two over worn t-shirts. Soonyoung didn’t expect the house to be so normal. He had seen this man killed his father. He didn’t expect to see him turn into a father, like what a normal father should be, when a boy ran down the stairs. “Daddy!” Soonyoung watched the boy wriggled out of the man’s hug. “What did I say about hugging, daddy? I’m 10. I’m too old for hugs. Fist bump!” With his tiny fist raised, the boy hadn’t realized Soonyoung’s presence. That man laughed and raised his fist to be bumped with the boy’s.

“Ohh! Wonwoo-ya, this is your new friend, Kwon Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung suddenly felt so self-conscious when they walked to him. He stood there looking down.

“Friend? Like real friend, not hyung? Ohh yeahhh!”

Soonyoung couldn’t see his face but he sounded so excited. Someone was excited to be his friend. He had been through various bullying at school for being too poor to have any friend at all. This boy, that he assumed to be his savior’s son, wanted to be his friend. He didn’t know what to feel.

“Hi, Soonyoung, I’m Wonwoo, Jeon Wonwoo.” The boy, Wonwoo offered his hand but Soonyoung was too busy observing his unwashed shoes.

“I guess Soonyoung is still tired, Wonwoo-ya. You should let him rest first, okay? You have your gun practice with Cheol hyung, don’t you?”

He heard the boy sighed loudly. What an ungrateful brat, Soonyoung had thought. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone ever talked to him that sweetly and Wonwoo? He freaking sighed. 

“I’ll finish quickly and play with Soonyoung. Okay, Soonyoung?” Wonwoo asked before disappearing inside.

“Soonyoung, this way.” Soonyoung raised his head and followed Wonwoo’s father into what looked like an office.

“You haven’t had the best life.” Mr. Jeon started when they were both seated. Soonyoung gripped his backpack closely.

“Wonwoo is my son and I won’t say he has the best life. But he is just a kid and I want him to stay that way until he’s ready. You’ve seen me work and I assume you know what I do. But Wonwoo doesn’t. It has to stay that way. At least, until he’s ready.”

His father is protecting him. Soonyoung knew Mr. Jeon wasn’t a good man, a good man didn’t just go around killing people they hate, but he was a very good father. He loved Wonwoo, if not so much.

“You, also just a kid, Soonyoung. You know I can’t accept you as one of us.”

Soonyoung looked up with fear. He was ready to go down his knees again to beg Mr. Jeon to let him stay.

“But I can’t just leave you there. Also, Wonwoo has been complaining for not having friend at school. You