Final
Scattered Words
The second Jaemin stepped inside the hallway, he was pushed back by a swarm of screaming girls. ing hyenas, he muttered under his breath. Two years in this school, he wouldn’t have to look back to know what the hell is going on. Even though the constant chanting of a certain name gave it away.
Continuing his steps, he was greeted by a loud voice calling him from behind. “Damn, that was like screaming in a sea full of piranhas. One of them freaking bit me!” Haechan walked beside him, his lips did not stop to catch a breath as he complained.
“I hope you don’t get rabies,” Jaemin snickered and headed to their respective lockers. Haechan’s face scrunched in horror, but quickly shook it off.
To Jaemin, school was like a pre-reality. You get stuck in a system you didn’t choose, you have to do things you didn’t want to but had to deal with it anyway. That’s exactly how reality works. Maybe school was a bit better, you can choose who to hang out with as you have plenty of time on your own. Between those times, you were able to do things you actually enjoy doing. It was as if life gave you an opportunity to dream, before it throws you into the harsh, cold reality, where you live to survive by being in a low-salary job.
Not to mention, the social system where people are ranked based on classes. Ranking comes with the treatments you get from others. There are the high-ranked people such as politicians, businessman in the reality. Same here in school, you have the jocks, cheerleaders. As you climb down the social ladder, you will find people like Jaemin, the bottom tier. this capitalism.
Jaemin was a nobody in school. Nobody really noticed him, except during examination seasons. Jaemin was excellent in studies, but never really paid much attention to it. Being placed in the top 5 was enough. It was not like he had to try hard either, majority population of the students are lazy sloths.
There was one thing Jaemin was truly good at and enjoyed doing. Writing. He rarely talked, count out the rants he had with Haechan, writing was a way for him to express his bottled up feelings. It kept him going. Jaemin had a journal where he wrote down all his works but he didn’t carry it around.
What Jaemin did was, he would write what he was thinking on a piece of paper, it could be anything, the torn part of a newspaper, the candy wrapper or on Haechan’s music sheets. And this would happen anywhere, whether he was eating lunch or during PE class where he would pretend he was sick. If he was satisfied with it, he would keep it and tucked it into his journal. As opposed, if he didn’t, he would just throw it away.
Back to the current situation, Jaemin sat at his desk, located by the windows, minding his own business, when suddenly the door swung open, followed by ugly cries of girls. At the door frame, stood the king of the social construct, the football star, Lee Jeno.
Now, now, not that Jaemin had anything against the perfect boy, he simply hated the fact that he belonged to the higher ranked group, which he could stereotyped them as ungrateful brats who did nothing at school except enjoying the undivided attention by others. But of course, Jaemin had an awful experience with those creatures. Being bullied in middle school by the very same kind of people could not possibly grew a fond for them.
Haechan, who had his head dipped inside his arms, woke up from his sleep in annoyance. The noise subsided as the homeroom teacher walked in.
Jeno jogged into the field after he changed into his training clothes. His eyes caught a certain boy sitting under a tree, his earphones plugged in, scribbling something on a paper with focused eyes.
“Stop staring at his with heart plunging out of your eyes, he will notice you, creep,” Mark teases the younger boy. Jeno was surprised by his presence but made sure not to let it show, “I did not stare at him. Why would I do that?”
Jeno was admiring the pretty boy under the tree for a year now. Not that he would like to admit it. He kept on convincing himself it was not a crush, he was just admiring the picture it created. Yeah, right. It all started last year when he was early for the football team try-out. He was nervous, so he decided to go early and calm his nerves down with a coke. Then, he saw a boy, kneeling on the grass, with his back facing him. Intrigued, he observed the said boy, doing questionable thing to the tree until he finally done with it and left the spot.
Jeno carefully walked towards the tree, his eyes scanned around just to find words carved onto it.
Maybe the Red Riding Hood knows exactly what she was doing when she invited the wild in.
You see, Jeno was probably a bad idea if you want to talk about Disney with, but he sure as hell knew what happened in the Red Riding Hood. It was a good thinking. He never thought of it that way. That was the first string of words that picked on Jeno’s interest towards the pretty boy. What he did not aware was the string did not end with a knot.
Jaemin had a company today. Or the only company he ever had in any other days. Haechan was strumming the strings of his guitar, humming some tunes along. Jaemin’s musicality was pathetic, so he wasn’t any help to Haechan. But Haechan didn’t want his opinion on his music, he wanted Jaemin to come out with beautiful lyrics. And he knew that Jaemin was the only one in the entire school is capable of doing that.
“Do you know that guy who is kicking the ball?”
Jaemin shifted his gaze to the boy. He had an idea who the mentioned boy was, but not details on him.
“Isn’t he a senior?”
Haechan smiled, “Yup. The captain of the team. A friend of Jeno’s. He is so beautiful.”
“Talk to him.” Jaemin suggested, not really paying attention.
“Easy said. Look at me. I am a dwarf. I doubt anyone finds me attractive.”
Jaemin sighed. He didn’t like it when Haechan looked down on his own abilities. “You know Chan, you think you’re not all that because you have always been behind the scenes. Even when you played the guitar for that so-called talent of the school for her admission video. You are good, amazing even. But you have always been behind the camera that at one point, you wonder how you look through the lenses.”
Haechan was silent. He looked at Jaemin with a blank expression.
“Great. Let’s use that as the lyrics.”
“Your pretty boy has a company today.” Mark striked a conversation with Jeno as they had a time-out.
“That’s his best friend.”
“Do you stare at him in classes too?”
Jeno brushed of the question with a shrug. Maybe he did. In his defense, how could he not? Jaemin looked so unreal when the sun shined through him. His hair glistened with a tint of brown. When Jaemin was in his focused mode, his lips were slightly apart and he would sometimes bite his lips. Jeno would then subconsciously bit his lips too. The way Jaemin round eyes lit up when he talked about his new found conspiracy theories with Haechan. Damn, this boy is in love.
He used the remaining minutes to wander around the spot that Jaemin and Haechan just left. Half hoping he would find another note. As if the God answered his prayer, there was a blank music sheet with words scribbled on them.
After so long taking pictures of others, I guess I forgot taking one of myself.
The cherry blossoms were really pretty that day.
But it doesn’t matter, I can take one anytime.
Jeno’s finger traced the words. He is so beautiful, he should be the one who pictures go taken, not the one who takes pictures of others.
Jeno felt bad. He wanted to be the person who makes Jaemin feel worthy and loved, but he had to take milestone for that. Then a thought came, why not take a small step now? Few small steps would take you to that milestone.
But at that time, you were a person of your own. You were not others’.
Jeno took out a plaster in his pocket and stick it with the paper on the tree. Hoping Jaemin would see this.
Jaemin barged into the music room. He plunged himself to Haechan, receiving a series of curse words in return.
“I don’t know what your problem is, but you could just come in with a knock and a simple ‘hello’ would suffice,” Haechan shook his head.
Ignoring the boy, Jaemin continue his speech with a flushed face from all the running, “ Somebody saw my writing and they replied to it! Oh my god, I’m freaking out.”
“Geez, relax. It’s not like they know who you are,” Haechan paused, “Wait, they could be. Let me see!”
Jaemin shoved the paper to him. This was Jaemin’s biggest pet peeve; when someone reads his work. What will he do now? They must think he’s such a nerd.
“It’s clearly a boy, look at the handwriting. And the response is not that bad either.”
Jaemin took back the sheet, “why is it important if it’s a boy or a girl? I have been exposed!”
“It is important. This is probably the start of your love life.”
Jeno was fidgeting with his pen in the class while talking to his friend, trying all his might not to steal glances at a certain pretty boy.
“I have a paired assignment for you guys. I was thinking to make it individual, but all of you are helpless,” the English teacher announced as soon as she stepped in, no greetings or whatsoever.
“I want you to find an opinion of a famous person on something, it can be anything like how the Earth is flat or anything but I want you to include your opinion on it,” she smiled, deviously and what came up next was the assigned partners.
“Jeno, and Jaemin”
.
Jeno instantly looked at Jaemin, only to lock his eyes with the other’s. They stared at each other for a good five seconds until Jaemin looked down and blush profusely. Jeno bit onto his lips, preventing a smile to form by how cute Jaemin is. Jaemin then was looking at Haechan as if asking him for help while looking all anxious.
As Haechan cleared his seat to go to his partner, Jeno took the seat and greeted Jaemin. Jaemin was caught by shock as he unable to utter a word now that this superior being was beside him.
“Hey, are you free tomorrow after school? We could discuss it then.”
Jeno did not know what got into him that he was confidently talking to a boy that he had been crushing on. He was trying to make an eye contact but Jaemin’s eyes was everywhere but on his.
On the other hand, Jaemin could not seem to hide that he was flustered. Now that Jeno was so close to him, he could smell his cologne, he noticed how broad Jeno’s shoulders were and how muscly his arms were. Even the way Jeno’s lips curved sent him into panic.
Get a grip! Yes, he is the most handsome boy in this school, but don’t waver!
Jaemin tried to mutter a brave ‘Sure’ but what came out was just an inaudible stutter. Jaemin blushed even more as he heard Jeno’s chuckle, “Cute.”
Once in his whole school years, Jaemin wished the bell would not ring so soon. A discussion with Jeno, The Lee Jeno. Yes, Jaemin did expressed his hate for Jeno before. But his reasons seemed so vague now. Jeno’s visual topped them all. His memory traveled back to the times he secretly spied Jeno on the field. The way his hair pushed back by the wind when he ran made his heart tingle. He was so carried over his train of thoughts, he did not hear Jeno’s footsteps. His body jumped as he discovered Jeno sat in front of him with his arms plopped on the desk and his face in his palms, admiring the younger’s face.
Jaemin cleared his throat, “Oh, oh. You’re here. Let’s start then.”
“I’m not good at this. I don’t have any decent idea. Based on my judgement, I’m pretty sure you’re better at this. Do you have anything on your mind?” Jeno approached first.
Jaemin gulped. Aside from how handsome Jeno looked right now, he was nervous to say his idea out loud. Thinking it might not be good enough or stupid even. He didn’t want Jeno to laugh at him. However, seeing Jeno’s eyes and gentle smile, he decided to give it a go.
“Um, okay. Do you perhaps ever heard about Einstein’s Theory of Relativity? He said that light always travel at the same speed, doesn’t matter how fast you move or in what direction you move. So, the speed of light is said to be constant. However, time isn’t. Einstein said that the slower we move the longer we perceive time to move. But you see, time is always the same, the length of a minute, an hour is the same for everyone. What matters is your perception.”
Jeno stunned. The whole minute and a half Jaemin talked left him speechless. How could such thoughts came out from someone? How can someone looks so beautiful talking about some science ? Nobody had ever pulled him this deep. The 1.5 minutes of Jaemin talking, had Jeno fell for him deeper, deeper than he had ever been. His eyes did not left Jaemin’s face.
“Like how people perceive that time moves slower as if it is in a slow motion mode the moment they fell in love?” Jeno suddenly blurted out, not realising what he just did.
“...yeah, exactly,” Jaemin answered, a beat later as he slowly immersed into Jeno’s eyes.
At that moment, it was exactly what Einstein was talking about. Jeno and Jaemin was holding each other’s gaze, closing the gap between each other. Jeno couldn’t help but to stare at the younger’s lips. This is the time. The time where he could make time move even slower by kissing his lips.
Jaemin shivered when Jeno closes in the gap. He wanted to kiss him too. The last few centimeters, Jaemin’s insecurity kicked in collectively. Realising the situation, he pulled back. Eyes dilated.
“Ah, ah, I gotta go. See you around.” Jaemin said hastily, picking up his backpack and exited the classroom.
Jeno’s eyes followed the boy’s movement. He was dumbfounded and flustered. He spent minutes sitting there, thinking what went wrong.
“I think I ed up,” Jeno leaned against the lockers in the shower room.
“You’d be okay, dude. Want me to help you?”
Eyebrows raised, Jeno suspected that Mark had hidden agenda up in his sleeves, “And how can you be any help?”
“I’ll talk to your lover’s best friend. He probably knows what to do. Plus, I need an excuse to talk to him,” Mark smirked.
Mark made his way to the music room. He had no interest in music, but he certainly had interest in a particular tanned boy. He had been here few times after his first encounter of him at the field with Jaemin. It was just a playful crush when he decided to follow him to the music room. But god must have wanted to play a prank on him. The second he heard Haechan sang, that boy was whipped.
He never tried to talk to him, he usually sneaked through the windows. Thanks to Jeno’s crisis with his lover boy, he had an excuse to.
Mark carefully knocked and made his way into the room. Haechan looked up from his music sheets. Haechan was taken by surprised as he ogled the man in front of him. What is this greek god doing here?
“I’m sorry for interrupting, but you’re Jaemin’s friend right?”
Haechan nodded. Still confused of what was happening.
“My friend has a thing for your friend.”
Jeno wandered around the field. Eyes searching for a presence he had been longing. It was three days after Jaemin stormed out and Jeno noticed Jaemin had been avoiding him. They had classes together so those were the moments when Jaemin had no choice but to face him.
The only decent conversation they had was the discussion. That was when Jeno finally had the courage to talk to him, but his fear of rejection came true. Maybe he was too forward. They didn’t even know each other that well. He sure did miss him. He loved those times when Jaemin didn’t pay him much attention. When Jaemin could laugh out loud without minding him, now he was just being cautious and uncomfortable.
The stroll had came to an end, still no sign of Jaemin. Then, Jeno stepped on a leaf. Usually the cleaners did a great job keeping the field clean from leaves (for the sake of the football training). he would’ve missed it if it was not for the black inks on it.
Your lips are the sin I want to commit.
Recognising the handwriting, Jeno smiled for the first time today. Lee Jeno was going to win his lover back.
“Bro, stop pigging out!” Haechan winced as he saw his best friend with loads of junk food.
Jaemin ignored his remarks. His mind was a mess. What the hell was he even stressing about? If he did like Jeno, just go for it. If he didn’t, just tell him off. Why is everything so complicated? Deep down, Jaemin knew, he could never be with Jeno. Jeno was people’s favourite. He had eyes burning with passion, structured nose, delicate lips. While Jaemin? He was a nobody.
“What do I do now? I don’t think he even likes me. We only know each other from the project. Heck I don’t even know his birthday. Maybe he was just messing around? They always do that, don’t they?”
“He knows you pretty well though,” Haechan said. Trying to figure out how to break it to his best friend.
“What?”
“Mark told me, he has been watching you since last year, when you first went to write under the tree. He constantly looks at you when you were doing something else. I don’t mean to trigger you, but he is the one who wrote you the reply.”
Jaemin looked at Haechan in disbelief. The Lee Jeno liked him? Him? It was too much for him to take everything in. He needed space to think.
“Let’s go to the rooftop.”
As expected, Haechan knows exactly what he needed.
Jaemin got out from his apartment, leaving to the rooftop first, as Haechan need the toilet. He made his way towards the stairs. His track was halted when he saw familiar words on a tissue sticked onto the wall with a plaster.
Love is such a big word to me, but you deserve all the loves in the world.
Then, a post-it,
I will love you until my next life. And the next. And the next. Until death finally gives up on us.
Three steps later, a newspaper cut,
I love your eyes, nose, lips, fingers and the crinkles your eyes made when you’re happy. But most of all, I love you as a whole.
Jaemin went forward and saw a leaf,
Your lips are the sin I want to commit.
His lips curved into a smile as he walked to the rooftop. He had only one person on his mind, Lee Jeno. He missed Jeno so much even though they barely know each other. The last staircase to the rooftop, there was a paper with words that were certainly not his.
I’m not good with words, but I would read yours every day. I want to understand your words, I want to hear the words as your voice. I’m in love with your words, but most importantly, I’m in love with you.
For the first time, Jaemin wanted to share his thoughts to others, especially Jeno. Jaemin always wanted to be appreciated the way Jeno appreciate him.
Upon arriving, the lover saw the love of his life standing gloriously, with a bouquet of flowers, smiling sheepishly.
“How did you….,” Jaemin trailed along his words. He was overwhelmed with feelings and the fireworks inside of him.
“I collected the writings you threw. It wasn’t like I was searching for them or anything. They were scattered around, and I happened to enjoy reading it, and you are so beautiful, I just can’t help myself…,” Jeno didn’t know where he was heading with this, but he had a point.
Jaemin could not stop smiling. He reached for Jeno’s face and brought it closer to him. Close enough that they could feel each other’s breath. Jeno tensed and dropped the bouquet. His hand tugged onto Jaemin’s shirt, his eyes could not seem to tear itself from Jaemin’s lips. Jaemin smiled knowing Jeno’s desire and planted his lips onto his. They kissed for a minute or two, both not really sure, but they knew that time was moving slower.
“Why are you two so quiet?” Mark barged into the rooftop.
“Why are you such a !” Haechan groaned and dragged him out.
It was another day of school, except school was over an hour ago. Jaemin decided to hang around at his boyfriend’s practice and would walk back together.
It was ten minutes before practice starts, Jaemin found himself trapped in Jeno’s arms in an empty classroom. Jeno was devouring his lips. One hand pressed against the wall, the other cupping Jaemin’s jaw, pulling him even closer as if he could not get enough of Jaemin’s lips.
Jaemin was tugging Jeno’s jersey, against Jeno’s lips as he tried to break free.
“Practice. Soon,” were the only words Jaemin managed to let out. He was enjoying Jeno’s too much, he didn’t want to get carried away.
Jeno stopped kissing the younger boy and pouted. He bought his lips closer to Jaemin’s ears amd whispered “But, I’ll see you later, tonight.”
Jeno smirked and pressed a kiss on Jaemin’s cheek before sprinted to the field.
Note:
I'm thinking of a MarkHyuck bonus! Should I make one or nah
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