Donghyuck and Mark had been friends since they were young children. Donghyuck had been there for Mark when his first crush, in the second grade, had rejected him harshly, stating that he was too “stinky” to date. Mark was there for Donghyuck when his heart was broken by his first boyfriend, Renjun. They were there for the little things, too. Mark was there for Donghyuck when he fell off of his bike and scraped his knee—Mark let him lean on his shoulder as they walked (Donghyuck was more limping than walking) back to their neighborhood. Donghyuck was there for Mark when they went on vacation together and Mark fell into the water, getting sea water in his eyes and having to clean them out in the bathroom with Donghyuck the whole night. Mark had been there for Donghyuck while he sobbed, stuttering out the confession that he was gay, and in return, Donghyuck was there for Mark as he quietly confessed the same. They had held each other and cried happily into the late hours of the night.

To say the least, Donghyuck and Mark loved each other. Mark had always been weird to Donghyuck, he made funny faces and talked in weird voices sometimes, but Donghyuck loved him through everything.

It wasn’t until Mark’s senior year and Donghyuck’s junior year that they started to grow apart. Again, it was just the little things. First, Mark stopped talking during their shared lunch, he became quieter around Donghyuck, but when Donghyuck saw him around their other friends, he was his normal, carefree self. It confused Donghyuck, to say the least. The first time he tried to talk about it, Mark’s reaction wasn’t what he was expecting.

“Mark? You’ve been… a little quiet recently? I don’t know if that’s the right way to phrase it, but… Well, is something wrong?” Donghyuck had asked him. Mark had looked at him with slightly wide eyes, swallowing hard before opening his mouth. But nothing came out, and as Donghyuck stared at him, it seemed as Mark had lost his voice, lost the words he wanted to say. He looked at Donghyuck with determination in his eyes.

“I like—” Mark’s expression and determination faltered, along with his words. He looked down at his lap, suddenly shy. “Someone. I like someone,” he confessed. Donghyuck’s eyes had widened and is heart sank, but he ignored the second reaction. He smiled tightly, the reason behind it? He didn’t know, but it physically hurt him to smile in that moment. He scooted closer to Mark on the floor and wrapped his arms around him.

“I’m so happy for you, Mark. You haven’t liked anyone since the second grade,” Donghyuck laughs, albeit a little bitterly. The question, “who is it?” was right on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t seem to form the words, so he stayed quiet and climbed onto Mark’s lap, like he usually did when he was sad, and wrapped his arms tight around him.

“Mark?” Donghyuck asked in a quiet voice. Mark’s hands were on his back, rubbing up down in a comforting motion.

“Yeah?” Mark replied, just as quiet, not wanting to break the moment.

“I won’t lose you when you start dating them, right?” Donghyuck asked, forcing the words out of his mouth. Mark laughed quietly and squeezed Donghyuck tightly.

“They don’t even like me back, you won’t lose me,” Mark promised. Donghyuck let out a sigh of relief, even though he should be sad that his best friend’s crush didn’t seem to like him back. He clung to Mark and pushed all of his thoughts away, breathing in the comforting scent he’s found home in over the past seventeen years of his life.

But, after that talk, Mark distanced himself further. It got to the point where Mark would sit in the library during lunch instead of sitting at their normal table in the cafeteria with Donghyuck and their friends. Mark barely spoke to him in the halls, rushing past him saying something about “having to get to class before I’m late again,” every time. Soon, Donghyuck confided in their friend, Jaemin, about it.

“And then he said I wouldn’t lose him, but he’s been drifting away from me recently. Whenever I go over to his house his mom says he’s busy or he’s not home. He’s always home, Nana, he almost never declines hanging out with me. I don’t know what to do anymore,” Donghyuck finishes, looking at his friend with the expression of a kicked puppy. Jaemin looked at him carefully, not wanting to give anything away or hurt one of the two boys.

“Donghyuck… I think—maybe you should give him a little time? It sounds like he might have a reason, so maybe the best thing is to give him a little space to let him figure out his feelings before going to talk to him,” Jaemin says, biting his lip. He’s been friends with both Donghyuck and Mark for a long time, a few years now, and he considered himself a very observant person, which is why he didn’t want to say too much on the matter. He wanted to give Donghyuck time to figure things out for himself, or for Mark to tell him.

Donghyuck huffed out a sigh and looked at Jaemin dejectedly. “Really? You think I should wait?” Donghyuck didn’t want to wait. He wanted his best friend back and he wanted him back now. But, he trusted Jaemin, and if he thought that was what’s right, he’d wait. Jaemin nodded sadly and put his hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder in a comforting way. Donghyuck gave him a grateful, but sad, smile in return.

When Donghyuck first noticed Mark hanging around Taeyong more, he felt betrayed. Mark began eating lunch at school again, but instead of sitting with Donghyuck, he sat with Taeyong. Donghyuck felt his heart break when Mark walked past them with Taeyong, giving Donghyuck a smile and a wave before turning away and sitting at a separate table with Taeyong.

It was the little things. When Donghyuck went over to his house, Mark’s mom would look at him with sadness and tell him he was “not home,” aka, with Taeyong. Donghyuck walked home with shrunken shoulders and fell into bed, staring up at the ceiling sadly for hours before his mom called him down for dinner. Mark still texted him good morning and goodnight every day, without fail, but the messages lacked enthusiasm or emojis, which Mark usually sent lots of. It slowly broke Donghyuck’s heart, until he couldn’t take it anymore.

He came to Jaemin in tears, the droplets running down his face like a running faucet. Jaemin ushered him inside and took him upstairs to his room where he cried on Jaemin’s shoulder for an hour, wailing about how Mark had replaced him and that he no longer loved him. He cried his heart out, he cried so hard he fell asleep shortly after his sobs calmed down. Jaemin tucked him safely under the blanket and picked his phone up, typing a quick text before sitting at his desk and working on homework while Donghyuck slept.

To: Mark
From: Jaemin

You’re an .

The next day, Donghyuck woke up fuzzy and confused.

“Jaemin?” he asked to an empty room. He sat up in the familiar bed and rubbed his swollen eye, freezing in realization. He sobbed in front of Jaemin about his best friend problems and then promptly fell asleep on him. .

“Donghyuck? How are you feeling?” Donghyuck blinked at the voice and looked towards the doorway of Jaemin’s room, seeing his friend standing in it. He gave him a hesitant, small smile and shrugged, wrapping his arms around himself. Jaemin sighed and walked over to him, sitting on the bed next to him and wrapping his arm around one of his closest friends.

“You know I love you right? We’re best friends, too, you can tell me anything you want to,” Jaemin said softly, seemingly encouraging Donghyuck to say something, but Donghyuck didn’t know what.

“It just hurts, you know? Losing you best friend hurts.” Jaemin sighed and rubbed Donghyuck’s arm, choosing his next words carefully.

“Are—Are you sure he’s just your best friend?” he asked quietly. Donghyuck’s heart dropped again, he felt a pit forming in his stomach and a lump in his throat. He shook his head fervently, stuttering over his words.

“We’re friends. Nothing more,” he insisted. Jaemin sighed but continued to comfort his friend quietly. It wasn’t his business, not his place.

“Hey, there’s a party at Jeno’s house tonight. Want to go with me?” Donghyuck whines and falls back on the bed.

“Do I have to?” he whines and Jaemin stands, nodding.

“Yes! You need to get out and help yourself move on from this,” Jaemin said cheerfully, making Donghyuck wince.

“Fine. But I’m not drinking.”

The music was loud at the party, blaring even. Jaemin dragged Donghyuck into the kitchen by his arm and greeted Jeno with a hug and a long kiss. Donghyuck groaned and looked away, looking at the other people standing in the kitchen and eyes connecting with familiar one’s. Taeyong’s eyes. . He noticed he was standing next to Mark, holding up a conversation with him while looking at Donghyuck. Donghyuck glared and looked back to Jaemin, who was headed his way.

“Hey, Jeno and I are going to dance,” Jaemin yelled breathlessly, not hearing Donghyuck’s protests of being left alone in the same room as Mark and Taeyong. He got a bottle of water out of the fridge and stood by the island in the middle of the crowded kitchen. About fifteen minutes in, he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around, looking up at the person standing in front of him. He held back a scowl and clenched the bottle in his hand.

“Hi, Taeyong,” he said icily, shooting him a fake smile. Taeyong seemed to see through it, he scratched the back of his neck and looked down.

“Listen, I just think you should know something. Mark and I aren’t together or anything.” Donghyuck looked at him as if he was the stupidest person on the planet and rolled his eyes, even though his heart jumped at those words.

“And I would care because?” Taeyong looked a bit offended and put off before he started speaking again.

“Because he likes—”

“Taeyo—!” Suddenly a weight was pushed onto Donghyuck and his entire chest felt cold. He gasped, stepping back and looking down at his dripping chest. He slowly looked back up at Taeyong with narrowed eyes, who was staring at Donghyuck with wide eyes. Donghyuck looked behind him to see Mark standing there with equally wide eyes and a hand over . It was obvious one of these drunk idiots had shoved Mark into Taeyong, which pushed him into Donghyuck, but Donghyuck glared at the two sober boys nonetheless.

“O-Oh my, God, Donghyuck, I’m so ing sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, really. Some pushed me and—” Donghyuck shoved past him, bumping into Mark’s shoulder on his way storming out of the house. He trudged to the front door and threw the door open, glaring at the numerous people in his way. He stepped outside, the cold night air making his chest even colder.

“Donghyuck!” At the call of his name, he started walking faster.

“Donghyuck—, stop walking so fast!” Mark jogged up behind him and then in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. Donghyuck glared, making Mark wince like he’d been hit, but he put his hands on Donghyuck’s shoulders and just stared him dead in the eye. Donghyuck’s glare eventually eased and he stared back, enraptured with Mark’s eyes. How had he never realized that they practically sparkle when Mark looks at him. It wasn’t the moonlight or anything else, it was just him. His eyes looked like they held the stars in them and Donghyuck could lose himself in them easily. He wanted to lose himself in those eyes.

All too soon, Mark broke eye contact to pull Donghyuck to his chest, hugging him tightly. He buried his face into Donghyuck’s neck and Donghyuck’s eyes closed at the feeling of being safe. He buried his face into the junction between Mark’s neck and his shoulder, breathing in the scent of his best friend.

“I’m so sorry, Hyuck. For everything, for tonight and for the last week or so. I’m so sorry, you’re my best friend and no one could ever change that. I’m—I’m just so scared,” Mark whispered. Donghyuck felt tears pricking his eyes and sliding down his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around his best friend’s waist.

“Why are you scared? You’re not going to lose me,” Donghyuck whispered back into the quiet of the night. The loud music could faintly be heard, but Donghyuck and Mark could only hear each other’s voices.

“What if I told you that… I had a secret…” Mark whispered, even quieter than the last time. Donghyuck frowned and tried to pull back to look at Mark, but his arms were too tight around him.

“You can tell me anything, Marky,” Donghyuck said, using his nickname to ease Mark’s nerves. Mark’s shoulders sank at the name, arms wrapping tighter around Donghyuck.

“Promise me you won’t hate me,” Mark whispered painfully, causing Donghyuck’s chest to tighten. It was going to be something bad, that meant. Maybe Mark was dying, maybe he was dating someone. Dating Taeyong. Donghyuck braced himself and nodded.

“I’ll never hate you, Mark,” he said honestly. No matter what he said, he wouldn’t hate him.

“I…” After Mark trailed off, Donghyuck raised one of his hands to run his fingers through the other boy’s hair in a comforting way. He wanted Mark to feel comfortable with what he was about to say, whatever it was. Mark blew out on last breath before pushing Donghyuck away a few inches, looking him in the eye again.

“I’m in love with you, Donghyuck.” Mark rarely, if ever used Donghyuck’s full name, it was always Hyuck or Hyuckie, so that’s how Donghyuck knew Mark was being serious. There were a million thoughts going through Donghyuck’s head. He loves me—really loves me? He’s not dating anyone? He’s not dying? He loves me? Me? There were also a million possible reactions to this confession, Donghyuck, perhaps, picked the worst one.

He burst out laughing, laughing hysterically until he opened his eyes to see that Mark’s face was crestfallen.

“No! Wait, I—” Donghyuck was taken over by another round of giggles, but he never once let go of Mark. After he had calmed down, tears still streaming down his face, he flashed the brightest, yet shy, smile at Mark.

“I-I love you, too, Mark. I think I always have, I’m just stupid,” Donghyuck confessed. All the pieces fell together. He wasn’t scared of losing his best friend—I mean he was, but he was more scared of losing the boy he loved. That terrified him. Mark smiled in relief and wrapped Donghyuck up in the tightest hug he could manage. He pulled only his head back to look Donghyuck in the eye, that stupid, breathtaking smile still plastered on his face (though Donghyuck knew he had the same smile on his face).

“Can I kiss you?” Mark asked, a blush decorating his cheeks and making Donghyuck’s heart flutter. Donghyuck nodded and within seconds, Mark’s lips were on his. Mark’s lips felt soft and warm, despite the chilly weather, and Donghyuck decided that, yes, he really did love this boy. Fireworks exploded behind his closed eyelids and he felt himself mindlessly kiss Mark back. He’d only kissed Renjun a handful of times, but with Mark? Everything felt different, everything felt right. Mark pulled back too soon, but that’s okay because it gave him some more time to stare into his best friend’s eyes.

“Hyuckie, would you be my boyfriend?” Donghyuck’s smile returned in full force, his cheeks stretching wide to accommodate his wide smile. He nodded and peppered Mark’s face with kisses.

“Yes, yes, you big idiot. I’d love to be your boyfriend,” he said happily.

And as Mark walked him home, kissing him goodnight on the doorstep, Donghyuck thought that yeah, to say the least, Mark and Donghyuck really, really loved each other.

contact me!

twitter