“You look too young to be here.”

Mark nearly choked on his spit when he heard that. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Actually, I was hoping to talk to Oh Sehun.”

“You’re looking at him.” Sehun said, wiping the glass on the counter and putting it away. “What do you want? Money? Drinks? Are you a loan shark?”

“What? No sir.” Mark shook his head. “I’m a student from UCLA. I was hoping to interview you for an English assignment.”

“What’s an American kid doing in Korea interviewing somebody for an English paper?”

Technically Mark was Canadian but he figured Sehun wasn’t the kind of person you wanted to argue with. Sehun was incredibly handsome and masculine, even more so than his pictures on the internet. Sharp jawline, slightly mismatched eyes, broad shoulders and strong arms. For a man his age, he certainly had taken very good care of himself.

“I’m here on vacation. With my family. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“You have?” Sehun raised an eyebrow.

“My mum idolised you.” Mark explained. “She still does. Keeps your posters up in the attic and your albums in the display cabinet.”

“She’s an EXO-L?”

“A very proud one.” Mark smiled. “She told me you guys were the best.”

“Correction, are the best.” Sehun smiled. He turned around and pointed to a medal encased in a glass box that was sitting proudly on a mantle in his bar. “You see that?”

“What’s that?”

“That’s a commemoration medal printed by the Korean National Mint. We are the only group so far to receive such a medal.”

“Wow.” Mark stared at the beautiful silver medal in owe, still glistening under the bar lights. He pulled out a notepad and pen and started scribbling things down. Sehun reached for the medal, blowing dust off the top carefully and setting it down on the counter.

“Gorgeous, isn’t it?”

“Can I take a picture?”

“Go ahead.” Sehun leaned back, letting Mark whip out his phone and snap a couple of pictures.

“Did you know that the first song I heard as a baby was an EXO song?”

“Which one?”

“Baby Don’t Cry.” Mark giggled. “My mum was trying to get me to stop crying. Ironically, it didn’t work.”

Sehun chuckled. “You have no idea how many times I’ve heard that. When we released the song we didn’t know it would eventually be used in nurseries and childcare centres.”

“They seriously use that song?” Mark asked, wide eyed and in surprise.

“Sure. They use Power during the exams, Sweet Lies for scenes and many more.”

“Wow.” Mark gaped. “Please let me interview you for my paper.”

Sehun clicked his tongue, clearly still contemplating the idea. He looked around the bar and it’s patrons. “Stay after midnight.”

“So I get the interview?” Mark smiled as Sehun went back to work. “Is that a yes?”

“Just sit there and shut up.”

****************

“Kiddo, I need to stay back for a little while okay?” Sehun said, patting a teenage boy on the back, probably 13 years old at most.

“Sure appa.” The son nodded, grabbing a broom to help clean up in the main hall. Sehun’s son, Jisung, looked nothing like him, but acted exactly him. Mark could tell from the way he walked and moved his body that he had the elegance and exuberance of a dancer. Jisung stuffed his ears with Airpods and started dancing absentmindedly.

“Does your son like dancing too?” Mark asked, watching Sehun wash up and clean his counter.

“He does.” Sehun nodded. “He watched me dance growing up. Used to follow me around to dance studios. He’s a trainee in SM Entertainment now.”

“Shouldn’t he be in the dorms by now then?”

“I pulled him out.” Sehun explained. “I can do that you know.”

“You seem to have a lot of power.”

“Not as much as I used to.” Sehun shrugged, pulling up a chair to sit next to Mark. He pulled out a cigarette from the box and lit it up. “Want a drink?”

“Uh no thank you.”

“How about apple juice?” Sehun asked. “I can’t talk to someone who doesn’t drink with me.”

“Uhm, sure.”

Sehun poured the young college student a glass of juice and himself a shot of whiskey. “Let’s take it to the booths.”

Mark packed up his bag and moved to a booth in the corner of the bar. They clinked their glasses in a toast and took a sip of their drinks. Sehun sighed contently, putting the cigarette in between his lips.

“Talk.”

“Uhm, okay.” Mark cleared his throat. “If you could introduce yourself.”

“Seriously? You’re asking me for an interview and now you want me to introduce myself?”

“In your own words. I want to know how you define yourself.”

“Okay,” Sehun thought for a while. “My name is Oh Sehun. I was the maknae of EXO, the greatest Kpop boy group of the 21^st century. Now I’m a business owner and part time dance instructor at SM Entertainment.”

“Nice.” Mark scribbled on his pad. “It has been almost twenty years since EXO made their debut. Do you think that if you guys made a comeback now you would still be able to sell as well as you did?”

“Wow. Out of the pan and into the fire huh?” Sehun asked.

“I know your history and your backgrounds. I also know your achievements and ground-breaking records. I searched them online and plus my mum never stopped bragging about you guys. What I want for this report is something different, something deeper. Something personal.”

“You might want to be careful.” Sehun said. “Not all of us appreciate being prodded and exposed like that.”

“I imagine all of you would be used to it, considering you spent your late teenhood in the spotlight.”

“To bare it all after you have had a moment of privacy is tough.” Sehun explained, looking over at Jisung, who was still bopping his head to the beat of the music from his Airpods.

“You can skip questions that you don’t want to answer.”

“Okay.”

“So, back to the first one,” Mark cleared his throat. “Do you think you can sell?”

“Honestly,” Sehun sighed. “Maybe not as well as we used to, but well enough to sustain us.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Album buying power isn’t the same as it used to be. Everything is online now. My son doesn’t have any albums whatsoever. Stores are closing and some artists have eventually stopped putting out physical copies of their albums.”

“But EXO managed to revive the album industry with XOXO.”

“That was a once in a lifetime thing.”

“You don’t think it could be achieved again?”

“It would take a massive miracle to save something that was clearly dying.”

“If you could name something as your biggest achievement, what would it be?’

“Performing at the Olympics.” Sehun answered with zero hesitation. A smile lit up on his face. “That was a magical night.”

“Tell me about it.”

“We had gotten a call from the committee that we were chosen to represent Korea in one of the biggest sporting events in the world. We were all so excited we started screaming. I think Jongin peed in his pants a little.” Sehun giggled at the memory. “We stayed up all night practicing. We prayed before we went on stage. It was, and still is, the biggest and most defining moment of our career, because that was when it really solidified everything for us, you know?”

“The fact that you were the Nation’s Pick.”

“I like to think we still are.”

“Fair enough.” Mark scribbled. “For all of your achievements, did you have any regrets?”

“No.”

“Really?” Mark raised an eyebrow. “None at all?”

“I try not to.” Sehun took a drag from his cigarette.

“How about a time you could go back to?”

Sehun bit his bottom lip, shaking the ash from his cigarette. He tapped his finger against the table.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Mark could hear his heart beating in his ear.

“My debut year. Circa 2012 to 2014.”

“Why?”

“We had the least expectations during those years.” Sehun explained. “We were young, inexperienced. Still hungry and thirsting for knowledge and experiences. People judged us less too because we were new. Also, it was the only time all twelve of us are together.”

“You miss those times?”

“Sometimes I think I’m still living in them.”

“Right,” Mark nodded. “Uhm, are you by any chance in contact with the ex-members?”

“I am.”

“And how is your relationship?”

“It’s fine.” Sehun gripped the cigarette tightly. “We’re all fine.”

“All of your albums have sold over a million copies. You are still the only group to achieve that. My question is, how did you guys manage to pull it off? Did you listen to a song and knew it was a hit or was it more complicated than that?”

“We had a fantastic team of producers and songwriters. We sat down together in the studio and talked about our music, shared ideas and tried our best to put together the best piece of art. There’s no set formula to these things, although experience over time does help your judgement.”

“I see.”

“To be honest, our fans are the reason we had everything. Like your mother.” Mark smiled at the answer. “They were the ones who bought the albums, downloaded the songs, went to our concerts.”

“But surely at some point fan power was no longer enough.” Mark said. “You had to captivate an entire nation in order to achieve what you did.”

“All I can say is that we were blessed.” Sehun smiled. “I can’t tell you how we did it. I’m still trying to figure it out.”

“Okay, next question. Were there times in your career when you felt unsure and was worried it was all going to be over?”

“Many times.” Sehun shook his head. “Many, many times.”

“Like when?”

“When Kris first left.” Sehun said. “When BTS started becoming stronger. When we lost the Daesang in 2017.”

“Why?”

“Fame is an uphill roller coaster. When things are going great, it’s great. It’s a bed of roses and caviar and all that , but when you start getting to the top of that coaster, the ride stops, and you stare at your surroundings. If you stare long enough, you start to wonder when are you coming down. Then you look down and realize, holy that is a drop. All those moments are like when someone is grabbing you by the ankles and you look down at the drop. You don’t drop, but you feel like you will, and sometimes you feel like you should just to end it all.”

There was a moment of silence between them as Mark continued his scribbling. “Do those moments happen often?”

“They happen when you have something to lose.”

“How did you get around that?”

Sehun tapped his finger again. “Work. Keeps you busy.”

“So you worked to get your mind off the fact that you might lose your job?”

“As meta as that sounds, trust me, at that time, we didn’t have a choice.”

“Did you honestly see BTS as your rival?”

“That’s a good question.” Sehun finished the cigarette and put it out. “A lot of people have asked me that.”

“And?”

“It depends. Do I envy them for the work that they do and the music they put out? No, I don’t. Am I jealous of their success? No. Do I get uncomfortable when I see their numbers pulled up so close to ours, or when the media pits us together or when stupid Twitter uses our name against theirs to gain retweets and likes? yes.”

“But you felt threatened.”

“Yes.” Sehun answered plainly. “Yes.”

A moment of silence passed as Mark took a sip of his drink. He folded his hands together shyly, watching Sehun in front of him.

Tap. Tap.

“We envied each other.” Sehun said. “Wanted what we didn’t have. Isn’t that sad? To have everything and still wish for more. Never knowing contentment.”

“Was that how you felt?”

“You can’t be in this industry and not feel that way. This job is rewarding, but it’s also cruel. They can give you the world, but they can also take it from you.”

Mark quickly scribbled it down. Sehun poured himself another drink.

“You know, we had a lot more in common than we had different.” Sehun said. “I bet if we had come together, we would have achieved more than we imagined.”

“That’s true. My mum said the two groups together would have been unstoppable.”

“There is no money to be made in peace and harmony.” Sehun said. “Not at our expense.”

“How about now? Do you guys talk?”

“Yeah.” Sehun nodded. “We’re cool. Jongin and Jimin are still best friends and Baekhyun and Taehyung are very close too.”

“I have read your history. You guys have been through a lot.”

“We have.”

“Was it true that companies were actually orchestrating moves to bring you guys down and discredit you?”

“All I can say is,” Sehun smiled weakly. “If nobody is trying to screw or destroy you, you probably aren’t doing your job right.”

“So you have felt that way.”

“You really are looking for the specifics, aren’t you?”

“I just want to hear it like it is.”

“You know we have been facing opposition even before we debut. When we put out all the teaser videos, people complained it was too much. When we had two units, people said it was a crackpot idea. When we came out with Wolf, they said it was a tragedy. I’ve learnt long enough that we could never satisfy everybody.”

“All that opposition drove you to do better.”

“We had to prove we were nothing like that. Our fans probably felt that way too. You know, nothing is more dangerous than a person with something to prove, and the skills needed to pull it off. I think BTS can attest to that as well.”

“In your line of work, you have had to sacrifice a great many things, including relationships.” Mark watched Sehun’s face carefully. “Do you have someone special in your life?”

“I do.”

“Who?”

“It’s the kid on his phone over there.” Sehun gestured to Jisung, who was now playing with his cell phone.

“Are you not interested in finding a partner?”

“I have a feeling I’m past the age where I’m eligible to find anyone anymore.”

“But you are Oh Sehun. You should be able to find someone.”

Sehun shook his head. “I have love to give, and it’s to my son. He’s my number one now.”

“Your decision to adopt as a single father did cause a stir.”

“I’ve been causing stirs all my life. This isn’t anything new.”

“Okay, uhm, one more question. When do you feel the greatest amount of job satisfaction?”

“When I meet people like you.”

“Reporters?”

“No,” Sehun chuckled. “People who have grown under our music. People whose lives were changed by our music. To give someone a reason to live, a reason to smile, a hope, a chance. It’s humbling because it’s so powerful. It’s like giving life in some way. It’s a constant reminder that we have to be good people in order to do good, and in order to do good you have to want to do good. Our music has been accompanying our fans throughout their lives. We have made a difference or a mark, even if it’s for a while. To do that in millions of people is an honour.”

“You know at the end of the day,” Sehun continued. “People won’t remember the awards you have won. They won’t remember how many albums you have sold, or the great fandom war between who and who. My son doesn’t remember any of that. What he remembers is listening to my song on the radio, watching my music video on TV, learning the dances to my song in class. That’s what he remembers, and that’s what his future generations will remember too. At the end of it all, it’s your art that lives. Not you, not your achievements, but what you leave behind.”

“Last question.” Mark cleared his throat. “What is your advice to people who want to follow in your footsteps?”

“Work hard.” Sehun answered plainly. “Work your off. Learn. Never stop learning. Never stop experimenting. Or challenging yourself. If you sign up for this job, make sure you learn the terms and conditions. Don’t walk into something you are not ready to sacrifice everything else for.”

“Thank you so much!” Mark smiled, scribbling down the last few words. “You have really been amazing.”

“I hope your report turns out well.”

“It will.” Mark smiled widely. “You have given me a lot to write about.”

“Tell you what, once you finish it, why don’t you send a copy over?”

“Definitely!” Mark shook his hand gratefully. “Thank you so much for your time.”

“Thank you indeed.” Sehun grabbed a pen from his pocket and a napkin. He scribbled a message on the napkin and folded it. “This is for you and your mother.”

“Oh my god.” Mark gaped. “My mother is going to pass out when she sees this.”

“Be sure to catch her then.”

Sehun waved Mark goodbye and looked at the clock. It was almost 2am and way past Jisung’s bed time. He packed up his things and told his son to do the same thing, but not before flipping the wall calendar to a new day.

January 29^th.

****************

“Appa, there’s someone outside the shop.” Jisung said, holding a broom and pointing to the front door.

“It’s late. Tell them we’re closed.” Sehun answered.

“I did, but he said he wants to see you.”

Sehun crinkled his eyebrows in confusion and went to the front door. He opened it and saw another man with a boy next to him. He didn’t know the boy, but the man had a face he would know anywhere.

“Hey Sehun.”

“Luhan.”

****************

“Appa?” Jisung called, waiting for his father inside the shop.

“Jisung, this is my friend Luhan.” Sehun smiled, bringing in Luhan and his son. “Say your greetings.”

“Hello Mr. Luhan.” Jisung bowed politely.

“Hello Jisung.” Luhan smiled. “And this is my son Chenle. He’s a year older than you.”

“Hello.” Chenle greeted in Korean, surprising everyone in the room except his father. Luhan laughed and ruffled his son’s hair.

“Why don’t you take Chenle around and entertain him? We want to talk to each other.”

“Okay.” Chenle looked at his father for a bit and waited for his approval. Luhan nodded and Chenle followed Jisung to the back of the bar, leaving the two adults with some privacy.

“Well this is a surprise.” Sehun said, pouring Luhan a drink. He didn’t need to ask, he knew what Luhan’s favourite drink was. Red Wine, preferably Merlot. “You usually tell us in advance that you were coming to visit.”

“I’m not exactly here on vacation.” Luhan explained. “I bought my son for an audition in SM Entertainment.”

“You’re serious?” Sehun gaped in surpise. “And let me guess, he got through.”

“Welll…”

“I knew it. I knew it.” Sehun teased, laughing at him.

“Only the first round.” Luhan explained, smiling proudly. “He needs to go for another round in a couple of weeks.”

“He’s going to make it, if he’s anything like his father.” Sehun teased again. “How did he come to speak Korean so well?”

“I taught him at home, plus he has been attending classes as a child.” Luhan explained. “I told him that I have a lot of Korean staff and connections back here, so it’s good that he learnt the language if he wants to follow in my footsteps.”

“You want to hear something crazy?” Sehun said. “My son is in SM entertainment too.”

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

“As a dancer?”

“Yep.”

“Oh my goodness.” Luhan laughed. “We have essentially created clones of ourselves.”

“Unwillingly too.”

“You think they might out them together in the same training group?” Luhan asked. “And maybe, maybe even the same group when they debut?”

“Dear god don’t give them any ideas. They might actually do that.” Sehun shuddered. “Especially Joonmyun hyung. Now that he is executive director he actually has the power to do that.”

“It would be a cute sight though.” Luhan smiled, rubbing the rim of his wine glass. “Our sons following in our footsteps.”

“I can’t decide whether to pop a champagne bottle or be petrified.”

“Appa, can I have a few bucks?” Jisung asked his father. “I want to show Chenle the convenience store and get something to eat.”

“Okay, sure.” Sehun handed over some bills to his son.

“Be nice to him.” Luhan told Chenle in Chinese. “He will be your group mate someday.”

“Yes papa.” Chenle smiled. The two boys looked at each other and ran out excitedly. Luhan was laughing at the sounds of their laughter and bits of their conversation.

“His mother would have been very proud.” Sehun said.

“I know.” Luhan sighed. Chenle’s mother passed away when he was very young, leaving Luhan a single father. A man as handsome and as successful as Luhan would have been able to have his pick of any woman in China, but he didn’t. He cleared his throat. “How’s everyone else so far?”

“Jongdae hyung is working on his next studio album. Minseok hyung has started taking up a part-time lecturing job in SNU. Kyungsoo is getting ready to fly to Hollywood to shoot his new movie. Jongin has started his career as a choreographer at SM and Baekhyun and Chanyeol are too busy preparing their nuptials.”

“Ah yes. The first legally gay celebrity couple to wed in South Korea.”

“Amazing isn’t it?” Sehun smiled. “All their nights banging the bed against the wall in the room next to mine has paid off.”

Luhan laughed loudly, his eyes crinkling in their signature manner. He was older than when Luhan first met him, as he had some more wrinkles and some white hair at the ends, but he was no less beautiful. Sehun remembered the way his heart pounded when they first met, and he couldn’t help realizing that it was now beating in exactly the same manner.

“I heard Yixing got a promotion.” Luhan said.

“Yes, the chairman of SM’s Chinese office.” Sehun poured some more wine for them. “He was a natural shoo-in. There was no one old Lee Sooman trusted more than him for the job.”

“Has he been in Korea lately?”

“He’s here now actually, for a board meeting. And secretly ing Joonmyun in his hotel room I’m sure.”

“So not much has change apparently.”

“What’s up with you? And Kris? And Tao?”

“I’m actually starting my own entertainment label. Still working out the kinks and drawing up contracts.” Luhan said. “Kris is expecting his third child in America and Tao is still… well, Tao I guess.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Living life like a baller and hitting up strip clubs in Ibiza? I would say it’s great, for him at least.” Luhan shrugged. “And you?”

“I’m here, talking to you. Life is perfect.”

“Why haven’t you been snatched up yet?” Luhan shook his head. “You are literally the perfect husband.”

Because the person I have been waiting for all my life hasn’t made a move. Because my heart belongs to someone who might never feel the same way for me. Because I still love him after all these years and I know I always will.

“I’m too high maintenance apparently.”

“More than Tao?”

“Okay maybe not that bad but still.” Sehun shrugged. “You know, a couple of months ago, there was a kid who came here, wanting to interview me about EXO.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. His mum was a fan and he was doing it for an assignment in school. It felt good while I was talking to him. Brings back a lot of old memories.”

“I bet it does.”

“He even sent me a copy of his finished manuscript. I read it and I told him that he better get an A on that paper or his professor was heartless.”

“So did he?” Luhan tucked his head on his hand, laughing slightly.

“No clue. He didn’t send me anything back.”

“You should let me read that manuscript.”

The clock in the bar struck 12 and it started to ring. “Oh look!” Luhan pointed at the clock. “It’s midnight.”

“You know what that means.” Sehun smiled. “It’s 8^th of April.”

“Our anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary.” The two of them clinked their glasses in a toast. “How time flies.” Luhan mused.

“Indeed.”

“We should have a reunion concert or something.”

“You want to?”

“To go back to where I came from? Of course.” Luhan chuckled. “In fact this has been something I’ve been wanting to ask for a long time.”

“We should talk to Joonmyun tomorrow. Together.” Sehun was careful enough to emphasize those words. “I think he would go for it.”

“He definitely will. He wants this more than anybody.”

“Do you think Kris and Tao will?”

“Tao definitely wants to, as for Kris, I’ll talk to him, but it won’t need much convincing.”

“Can you imagine all of us on stage dancing Growl again?” Sehun giggled. “God what a sight.”

“Do you still remember the dance?”

“Of course!” Sehun started dancing automatically. “Jongin and I teach it to the trainees every year. How can we forget?”

“It will be a sight to see, all 12 of us together again.”

“Yes but it will be wonderful.” Sehun said. “I don’t know if you guys have ever seen a galaxy of stars before, shining before you as you sing and dance.”

“I can’t wait.” Luhan smiled fondly, already fantasising about the stage they would be on.

“I don’t know if anyone will even want to see us anymore. I imagine all our fans would have families of their own now, or careers or lives outside of us.”

“I think they’ll show up. You never leave your childhood idols. You rarely do.”

“Baba!!” Chenle ran back into the bar with Jisung behind him. “I finished my first bowl of spicy Korean noodles!” he squealed in Chinese, excited and red in the face.

“That’s amazing!” Luhan smiled back.

“I need water! It’s so spicy!”

“Jisung, help him out in the kitchen.” Sehun ordered.

Chenle was still fanning his tongue as Jisung led him to the kitchen. The two adults sniggered at them.

“Cute kid.” Sehun chuckled.

“That he is.”

“Like father like son eh?” Luhan blushed shyly.

“Do you ever think about how it could have been different?” Sehun asked.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Every time I’ve had too much to drink, or every time it gets quiet.”

“So it’s basically all the time.”

“I can’t say I don’t miss this.” Luhan said, leaning closer into Sehun.

“I can’t say I don’t miss you.”

All time was frozen as Luhan and Sehun shared a quiet moment together. Rarely do they ever get such an opportunity. They were always surrounded by so many people their entire lives, to be in presence of each other where no one else could judge them, watch them, or say anything was truly peaceful.

Then, Sehun leaned forward. A step he should have taken twenty years ago.

He closed his eyes as their lips touched, and suddenly he was no longer the age that he was. He wasn't old, or rich, or a Kpop legend has-been or whatever. He was 16 years old again. Young and in love. New to the world of entertainment but b with excitement to start. He felt 100 years added to his life when Luhan kissed him back.

He couldn’t wait to be on that stage, to see the galaxy that God had given him, with the people that made it happen. There is nothing more humbling than to receive love from millions, and realizing that no matter how old, your legacy still lives on.

A/N: Today was the day EXO was officially introduced. They had an amazing showcase with a messy, long introduction (I honestly thought 12 people was too much, then NCT came into the picture and I learnt not to complain LMAO). We didn't know back then that 12 boys with baggy pants and superpowers would one day mean so much to us, or to me at least. I know I haven't written about EXO in a while and writing this did make me feel nervous, but it felt so rejuvenating. Kind of like coming home.

I like to think of EXO that way. As home. No matter how insane something is or whether you get caught up with another boy band or whatever, they are the people I come back to at the end of the day. The people who make me smile no matter what, and continues to inspire. I don't know how twenty years with EXO will look like, but I like to think it looks a little like what I had written.

Happy anniversary EXO! Thank you for an amazing 6 years and here's to many more. Share your thoughts in the comments down here! It feels great to be back!

P.S This is also cross-posted on AO3 if you prefer to read it there:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14154237