I was confused till now

Please decide who I am for you

Love! Dance! - Haon, Boycold

Some day before Halloween:

It's stupid, really that's all it is.

Across the hall during locker break, Jeno and Jaemin were giggling (flirting) about who knows what. Though it's crowded and loud in the hallway, out of the corner of his eye, Jisung can tell they're completely enamoured.

It's a day before Renjuns Halloween party, and Jisung has officially lost his best friend to Jaemin. A pretty boy no less, and no ones surprised, including Jisung himself. Sure, Jeno hasn't exactly said he likes guys, or that he even 'likes' Jaemin, but if his texts say anything, then he's definitely reveling in all the attention.

It's also been exactly 12 days since Jisung spilled Pepsi on Jaemins favorite sweater, and 12 days since Jaemin laid his dainty hands on his best friend, but he's not complaining. Jisung may used to spend his days and lunch hours hanging out with Jeno, but now he just chills with the basketball team, namely Renjun, Mark, and…Chenle. They don’t do much, to Jisungs surprise. Eat, talk, go to the bathroom, and repeat. Sometimes run to the convenience store to get meat kabobs, it all really depends on the weather.

With Chenle in the mix, and sometimes other mutual friends, Jisung is observing Chenle's behavior with lingering glances and sly eavesdropping (or at least that's what Jisung thinks). What takes Jisungs attention away is the, strange but mellow smiles and gentle whiffs of cigarette fumes (he seems to be cutting back, but Jisung has no opinion on that matter). It's when Chenle looks like he really should be in a grunge rock band, black jacket and posture so modelesque he could be on the cover of GQ, that Jisung melts.

The tasks previously at hand are completely non existent whenever Jisung so much as lays his eyes on the bad boy for more than 2 seconds. Renjun later calls him out on it in private, and Jisung stiffens, and stutters out a  "I-I have no idea what you're talking about. "

Renjun, whose more attentive than people give him credit for, deadpans with the response, "yeah, sure, but I'm saying maybe you could be a bit more self aware." Jisung can't help but chuckle in irony, oh he's definitely self aware, and the Halloween party this weekend is going to be proof of that.

"Don't worry Renjun, I'm coming to your Halloween party, aren't I?" Jisung says calmly in a teasing voice, and Renjun can only briefly nod in motherly instinct. "Don't forget to dress up!"

xxx

October 31, Friday

"Oh, darling! You look so handsome!" Jisungs mother beamed as her son stood in front of the floor length mirror. If she didn't know any better, he was thoroughly admiring himself, staring at every inch.

The night before was well spent as Renjun, himself, and Mark went to go shopping for Halloween costumes. Chenle would have went with them, but as he says "Halloween costumes are so lame, girls are just gonna wear head pieces and lingerie." Chenle muttered, his eyes downcast, "don't get me started with guys. Anyway, you three can go have a dandy time, I have more important things to do." Renjun just rolled his eyes with how stubborn Chenle was acting, after trying to convince him the entire lunch hour.

"I have to agree with Chenle, but Renjun, didn’t you say the requirement for the party was a costume?" Mark inquired, laidback and smiling as Chenle made a gagging sound. "I'm going to grace your presence tonight as Zhong Chenle."

"Not if Zhong Chenle can get in the party, and the rule was for people with a stick up their like you, Chenle." Renjun teased back, clearly an advocate for dressing up for one night due to his love of theatre. "You just wish everyone was in theatre!" Chenle jeered, "but don't worry, for you, I might just wear a 'costume'."

"Hmm, I'll be the judge of that," Renjun grinned, and Jisungs head went spinning. He surely doesn't mind Chenle in his normal attire, but with his creative imagination and a lot of free time to daydream, the possibilities are endless. A pirate, a knight, or football player sound pretty hot.

His nerves are firing like he's high on adrenaline and he's been dressed in his costume as soon as he got home. Jittery, he picks at the cheap fabric and forces to calm himself down. The clock reads 6:27, and he knows it's way too early for a party to start, so he quadruple checks everything over again. Brushing his hair for the hundredth time, tilting his hat ever so slightly to see which angle makes his face scream 'I'm a hunk of high quality meat!'

Yeah, Jisungs grateful he didn't dip ELA class. All those screenplays by Shakespeare were excessivly melodramatic, but at the very most it makes a Halloween costume of substance.

xxx

Renjun, humble yet well established, is the best kind of human being. Jisung decides this as he sees the huge bar with adept bartenders that have most likely been paid to not check id. Besides, Renjuns parents approved of these types of parties, because the police and hospital were on speed dial, and they're definitely willing to kick anyone out that causes trouble, or is in need of a taxi. It's better to supervise the consumption of alcohol, or else who is?

Standing right in front of the double doors, Jisung can't help but feel just an inkling of self consciousness running through his body. Going alone in tights and short shorts wasn't the best battle plan. It's not that he cares about what others think, but what that spawn of the devil thinks. He hasn't worn the pink sweater twice, and he's frustrated that Chenle has him so easily wrapped around his finger.

At least he'll look good tonight, that's one decision he doesn't need Chenles input for. (but of course, Jisung wouldn't mind if he agreed)

Mark already told him in the store that he looked good enough to get any girl, but Renjun broadly said he was good enough to get whoever he wanted, and Mark just shrugged. Jisung still appreciated the action.

Scuffing his boots on the stone flooring, Jisung knocks on one of the double doors, and Renjun appears half dressed. Green tights with nothing else that reveal more than Jisung wants to see. He looks proud, "Hey Jisung, you caught me at a bad time." 

"Naw, you look great!" Jisung said sarcastically, now covering his eyes with his hands and walking in. Renjun can be shameless when he wants to, and being in drama automatically normalizes tights. Let's just say it's a bit too much for the younger.

Xxx

As the clock hits 8, there's only a fraction of people here, and as always, all his friends are late. Renjuns already talking to everyone, and suddenly the paid off bartenders seem to entice Jisung.

There's too many bottles and drinks for Jisung to even try to identify, so he just goes with something fruity the bar tender recommended. Anything beats simple. Jisung drifts past people's conversations and their bodies, waiting for his friends to show up. Lightweight, heavy weight, Jisung doesn't know or care, he feels just right, floating in a mass of moving bodies.

xxx

It's late, the moon is shining high, and Jisung loves to dance. It's not a secret to anyone (the jokes in the change room prove that, 'twinkle toes'), and with the music gently muted by the thick walls, he's dancing alone in the late autumn breeze. He would've stayed back inside with everyone else, but it got to the point of suffocation if he moved too much. Eyes now closed, the bo