Please play this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbgYTIUt_b0

The times that we can't go back to
The feelings that have collapsed
Even if I grab them, they fall apart in my hand
Because of the constant flowing tears
I keep on looking back

“We can’t go back to the way we were,” he clearly said to her. She held on a poker face, trying her best to suppress her tears.

“I don’t get how we ended up this way,” she said and he looked at him. He had his eyes away from hers. He knew that if he looks, he’ll get pierced. Her eyes were like daggers of ice, cold and painful.

“We used to have the most precious memories…”

“But that was before,” he harshly said, throwing her heart away. “What we had, is the past. And like what Heechul hyung said, we should erase the past as if it never happened… So let’s just pretend that we never became a couple.”

He finally turned and saw her bit her lower lip. He felt like he regretted his words. If there was that one thing he wanted to do right now, that is to hug her and tell her his sorry for his words. He didn’t mean it, but he thinks it is better that they should just end this.

"Don't leave me"
That simple phrase
Why was it so hard to say then?
"Stay by my side"
That simple phrase
I wonder why it was so difficult to say then.

She wanted him to stay. She wanted to tell him to stay. But it is so weird how she can’t seem to say it. It isn’t hard to stay what you want, right? But why the things you want do is harder to achieve than the things you need? Right now, she wants him to stay, but she couldn’t make herself say those words. She blamed her inability to voice out her emotions.

“Yesung,”

“I’m tired, Jessica. Why can’t you accept this?”

“Because I don’t believe that you really found someone else!” She said it with tears in her eyes. She wasn’t the type to cry, but here she is, crying her heart out to the guy that he loves, to the guy who made her think things she never thought of.

The broken memories that fill me up completely
Are becoming blank
No matter how much I try, there's no use
The yearning that holds me tight
Even though it keeps me lingering
It won't even let me turn around

He promised her smiles. He promised her that his heart would only be for her because as he explained, ‘I’m old enough to know what my heart wants. I love seriously, and I am serious when I say that I love you so much.’

But those promises broke. Promises are usually meant to be broken. She recalled how the silliest things he does to make her smile. She loves everything about him. She loves the way he would act weird, as what their friends would say. She loves every aspect of this man who loves turtles, has a big head, small hands and most of all, a big heart to love her.

She recalls all the memories and it only brought her to more tears. It wasn’t as if she wanted to recall them. It was just like a flash, like the way your life flash before your eyes before you die; she flashes about the memories they shared before they depart.

"Don't leave me"
That simple phrase
Why was it so hard to say then?
"Stay by my side"
That simple phrase
I wonder why it was so difficult to say then.

He looked at her. She wiped her tears as she looks down. He knows her very well. He knows her habit of not wanting to be seen as others as weak and crying.

He wants to leave, but why can’t he seem to command his feet to move?

He also doesn’t want her to leave. She was quivering, like she always does when she cries hard. He wanted to run to her and wrap his arms around him, but he can’t. They can’t just simply go back to what they were.

If there was one sentence he wanted to tell her, he wanted to tell her to stay.

Words of parting 
Words of weariness
Those words are drenched in many smiles and tears
Like a lie
Would I be able to live as if nothing happened?

“Why don’t you believe me? You know I’m not the type to lie,” he said clearly.

“Because you told me you’d only love me,” she cried.

“I thought so too. I love you, but did you love me the way I do?” He asked.

“Of course I did!” She yelled.

He doesn’t know what to do. She answers to his questions about that, but he felt that words aren’t enough.

“Can you just respect my decision? I am just tired of you,” he said.

True or not, it felt like a stab to Jessica’s heart. She nodded and closed her eyes. It took her for a while before his words sink in. Maybe he was serious this time. Maybe he really meant those words when he said he found someone else. Maybe he got tired of her.

They say, if you love a person, set that person free. If that person comes back, he/she is yours, but if he/she didn’t, then it was never meant to be.

“Maybe you really did find someone else. I-I’m happy for you,” she raised her hand, asking for a handshake. He was surprised at her actions and slowly held her hand. It may be the last time their hands will meet; the last time that same electricity between them would spark.

She forced a smile and he did too. How long will she be able to keep up with this smile? How long will she lie to herself and to everyone that she’s okay? How long will she live as if nothing happened, especially since this guy wasn’t just some passerby who she just bumped into at a random street in Seoul. This was the guy who made her heart beat as if there was no tomorrow. Love gives no reasons, like her love for him.

It's so damn hard for me to let you go
you know I can't let you go
No, I can't let you go

She didn’t realize that their hands were still intertwined. She looked at his eyes, memorizing his face for the last time as if she wanted to paint or sculpt his face in her mind, in her heart.

He looked at their hands and she did too. Why can’t they both let go? He knew she can’t let go and she really doesn’t want him to let go. It was so hard for her to let him go.

"Don't leave me"
That simple phrase
Why was it so hard to say then?
"Stay by my side"
That simple phrase
I wonder why it was so difficult to say then.

Slowly, he removed his hands away from hers. The smile on her face slowly faded. She smiled as tears were bound to fall from the corners of her eyes.

“So I guess this is goodbye,” he said as if it was a casual thing to say. It wasn’t just a goodbye that meant ‘see you tomorrow or some other time’. It was a goodbye that meant this is the end of the relationship.

Slowly, he turned his feet and his back faced her. She was debating to herself if she would grab his arm and stop him. She wanted to say those words to him. She wanted him to stay, but when she opened , nothing came out.

He just turned, not moving his feet. He was still hoping that she’d stop him. If she did, then maybe he would take back everything.

You, who left me like that
I keep being reminded of you
Even if I grab you, you fall apart in my hand
It's still you
I keep waiting for you
At the place where there's no empty memories of you

Jessica watched as Yesung finally took a step. His speed was like of his turtle. That made her weakly smile, but she knows it’s not going to last long.

He just left her like that. That was the end.

But she had something more to say. She ran after him, grabbing his hand. He stopped walking and she was surprised that she was able to do it. She wanted to pull away, but there might not be a chance for her to do this again. She might see him since they work under one building and share the same friends, but no matter what, her favorite moments will be are when she’s with him.

She held his hand tightly, intertwining their fingers together. Yesung still had his back at her. He doesn’t know what to feel. They waited until one of them speaks.

Suddenly, she lets go. She knows that even if she tries to hold on, he’ll just move away from her and she doesn’t want that.

Maybe she’ll just wait wherever she is standing right now; thinking of the memories as she tries to slowly erases it from her mind.

But she won’t let that happen. She won’t let him go. She can let anyone take everything away from her, just not this guy.

Since Yesung was still standing there, Jessica hugged him from behind and whispered the words she had wanted to say and the words he’d been dying to hear….

”Please stay by my side.”

I prefer to call this a drabble. It really isn't something that special or something I really thought of. I just let the music play and let my fingers type. As to when I will release the full length YeSica romcom story, I told in my other YeSica fic, it may be in feb? Just anticipate Ice Turtles :p Ignore the last part. XD