wen junhui remembers when he fell in love with xu minghao, but he doesn't remember when he'd stopped loving another boy. a certain boy by the name of yao mingming, with cat eyes and a ever-present smirk on plush lips that he kissed once.

one day he hears a familiar shout of "junhui-gē!" and he knows immediately who it is.

they have just finished recording their comeback stage for music bank or something (he doesn't really care, he just has to nail all the moves perfectly). he stops talking to whoever was by his side and turns, frantically searching for the source of the voice he knew so well, the voice he loved and maybe still loves.

a dark-haired boy barrels into his arms, and junhui is laughing, maybe crying, too, but who cares when he has yao mingming in his arms again—

xu minghao doesn’t love freely.

his heart comes with a price, his lips hold a promise, and most people wouldn’t bother with that. they would rather find someone easier, someone a little more light, a little more optimistic.

so xu minghao stays with his heart guarded and alone. and he’s happy with that.

wen junhui, though, loves with his entire being, loves the world and the people in it. minghao often wonders how much more he can love, and junhui’s heart always takes him by surprise.

and junhui, junhui goddamnit, he’s determined to make everyone feel loved; junhui wants everyone to know they have a place in his heart. even if they never expect it in the first place.

so it doesn’t come as a surprise when wen junhui tells xu minghao he loves him. but when xu minghao says it back, everyone is shocked.

but love—

love, this thing, it isn’t one thing.

it’s sweet candy floss and sharp painful jealousy, silk sheets and bitter tears. it’s bittersweet, love is, and so, so beautifully heart-wrenching.

it’s what makes jealousy seize minghao’s throat like an asp, squeezing until it’s hard to breathe. it’s what makes minghao turn on his heel, conversation with junhui be damned, even though he’s pretty sure junhui’s already forgotten about him anyway.

xu minghao thinks he hates love anyway.

minghao sits alone in a corner of the waiting room, silently resigned with his phone.

“i’m fine,” he had said when soonyoung had asked him to join in, seeing right through his façade. “anyone would know you’re lying,” soonyoung had sighed, but left him anyway.

the thing is, minghao had been the last to join seventeen, so he’s missed out on everything. he didn’t know any inside jokes, he didn’t know their past relationships with the members that left.

he hates being the8 sometimes.

“oh my god, remember when we were dating? we were so gross, calling each other nicknames and !” the boy laughs. minghao scowls; why was he so ing loud?

“and when seungcheol and doyoon hyung tried to give us the talk, oh my god,” junhui laughs breathlessly.

minghao storms out of the waiting room.

enough.

“what’s his problem?” mingming frowns as junhui hears the door slam. junhui frowns in confusion as well, turning around to see who left.

no one meets his eyes, all pointedly looking at their phones or talking with each other. “who left?” junhui asks. “and slammed the door like that? rude,” mingming tacks on.

jihoon’s eyes slide to mingming, narrowed. “that’s not nice, ming,” he chides. “well,” mingming huffs, embarrassed. “slamming the door isn’t nice too.”

“can anyone answer my question?” junhui says again, raising his voice slightly. no one answers. “well?”

“it was minghao,” comes the reply from jisoo a few awkward moments later.

“who’s minghao?” mingming asks. he’s silenced when seungcheol shoots him a sharp look. “not the time, ming,” jisoo says softly but sharply.

“junhui,” he says. “that was your boyfriend. your very upset boyfriend. why aren’t you going after him?”

wen junhui realises he’s an idiot.