Lee Dong Hae's POV
Since Highschool , i have an eye on a guy named Lee Hyuk Jae or specially known as Eun Hyuk. Yes, a guy . And yes . . i'm a gay . Last summer , i conceited myself to confessed my love for him . And what's shocking is , he said that he likes me too . I was so happy because he didn't reject me . But, what's sad is , we love each other in a different way . I mean i always concentrate on him while he ? He's like ignoring me and he even hang out with girls . Yeah , i guess he doesn't want to hurt my feeling , that's why he gladly accepted me .
Last Saturday , i called him and asked for a date . But he's like . . not interested talking about it and he even hung up on me . How sad is that ?! After the phone call , i decided to spy on him , and the results? He went out with a girl instead me . Oh ! I forgot to tell you that , i am the only one who said those three words , while him ? Nothing ! Absolutely nothing ! To us , there weren't anniversaries at all . But everyday we went home from school , he'll hand me a Nemo Plushie . My favourite , but i was so confuse of why he did that while what i need is his love confession not this plushie .
And yeah , my room is filled with the plushie . It looked like a Nemo museum with all the Nemo plushie he gave me everyday .
On my 17th birthday , i called him to come over to my house . Well , i thought it's my birthday , so i should invite him over to my house to celebrate it . It's already 11PM , so i thought he'snot gonna come , so i decide to sleep first and then i heard my phone ringing . I was so happy when i see the caller ID is Eun Hyuk . He told me to meet him outside my house gate . Even though he came this late , i don't mind . I just hope that he'll wish me Happy Birthday or something .

' Here . Take this plushie .' he said .
' Oh . . okay . Thank you . ' i replied .
' Uhh , i gotta go . Bye . ' he said . That's all ?
' Wait , Hyuk ! You know , what day is today ? ' i asked him hoping that he'll remember my birthday .
' Today ? Today err . . It's 15th of October . Wae ? ' he asked me back .
' Oh , yeahh . 15th of October . Nothing . Wait ! ' i said .
See ? How cruel is he ! He don't even remember today is my birthday . He don't even say he loves me or something .
' Yes ? What is it ? ' he asked me .
' Hyuk ! Tell me ! Tell me ! ' i said while controlling my tears from coming out .
' Tell you what ? ' he asked again .
' Tell me that you love me . ' i pleaded him .
' I . . can't . Sorry . ' he said as he just leave me dumbfonded here .
This is so . . . . . frustrating . I hate you , Eun Hyuk !!!

Starting from that day , i didn't even have a courage to go to school . I'm so hurted that i couldn't face him . But he will always come everyday to my house leaving the plushie out near my house gate since i won't be taking it directly from him . After a week , i pull myself to go to school because i'm scared that my teacher will take any further action .
As i was about to walk to my locker , i saw him with a girl . He's not with the girl i saw a few last week, this one is different . He looked so happy with her . Without i realise , I straightly went to the toilet as my tears falling down rapidly . Now i feel that my heart is shuttering into pieces . I can't even barely able to breathe .
After the school is over i decide to go to the school library . Everytime i'm having a hard time , school library is the place who will be a witness when my tears dropped . As i was about to scanned the books on the shelves to read , my phone ringing . It showed that the caller ID is Eun Hyuk . I thought that i don't want to answer his call but he's been calling me for more than three times . The fourth call , i decide to answer his call . He told me that he'll be waiting for me infront of the school gate . As i saw him , he said , ' I thought you won't be coming . Here , take this . ' . He gave me but i just tossed it away and the plushie fall on the road . I said to him , ' Don't give me this anymore ! I don't need it ! What i need is you ! Not this freaking plushie !! . ' I'm sorry . I never . . ' he said and stopped when he find himself crying . And then he went to pick up the plushie . As he was picking up the doll , there's a car speeding and honking . ' Eun Hyuk-ah !!!Watch out !!! ' i shouted .

2 days after the incident . . .

I never thought that this will happened to my first love , Eun Hyuk . Dead ? No . He's not dead . He's in coma now . I just hope that he'll still alive . All of this happened because of me . If i didn't tossed the Nemo plushie off , if i didn't stay at the library he won't be calling me to give me this plushie because he'll be giving me this in front of my house . Just if . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I'm on my bed , crying all by myself while holding the plushie he gave me . Unconsciously , i hugged the plushie he gave me tightly . And i heard ,' I love you , Hae !! ' . I tried to hug the plushie again and again i heard it says ' I love you , Hae !! ' .
Why . . .? Why . . . I didn't realised that ? If . . Just if . . i hug the plushie he gave me before , this will never happen . And then i saw the Nemo plushie he was about to give me on the day when the incident happened . I hug it and i heard ' Hae , i'm so sorry . Please forgive me . If you forgive me , i'll say i love you everyday , everytime you want . Forgive me , neh ? I LOVE YOUUU~!!' .
After i heard that , i quickly went to the hospital . As i was holding Eun Hyuk's hand , i saw that he's trying to open his eye . ' Hae-ah , is that you ? ' i heard him . ' Hyuuuuk . . ' i called him while brushing my tears off using my palm . ' Hae , i'm sorry . ' he say with his weak voice . ' I . .  ' . I stop as i really don't know what to say . ' I love you , Hae . I'm so sorry i didn't say this . I'm too shy . ' he said . I'm too shock to say anything . ' Hae , i'll be leaving any sooner . I just want to say . . . I . . . LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Y. . .O. . . . . . .U . . . . . ' .

Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet~ His heartbeat stopped . I'm so speechless . My heart is hurting again seeing him die . . . because of me . .  His death , all happened because of me . I feel that my leg is shaking, Crying like there's no tomorrow will not bringing Eun Hyuk back .

After a week . . .

Since the day of his death , i feel my life is so miserable . I really . . can't stand this anymore . Guilty . . I feel so . . guilty . . My mind is not straight right now , so i decide to take a sleeping pill . One pill . . Two pills . . Three . . Ten . . Not enough . . I think . . i'll just swallow the whole bottle . After a few minutes , i feel my head is spinning . I bring myself to the bath tub and open the shower . I just stay in the bath tub and wait . . . .  for my soul to separate from my body . . . . . Bye . . . . . . , i'm leaving from this world ,  . . leaving behind a cruel world . .

Okay , LAME :D