I am Park Chanyeol and I was 23 when I first saw Do Kyungsoo.

It was rather a sunny day with a gentle breeze blowing across the area. The college was as usually humming with various kinds of chatter. People were all over the place going to their desired destination.

I too was busy with the preparation of upcoming exams and had been spending the past couple of weeks lounging in the library, trying to make up for all the time when I had flunked the class. Byun Beakhyun, my brother from another mother, was sitting right across me trying to stuff his face at the same time memorizing his notes.

It was quiet. The silence of the library engulfing every other thought than the books left open in front of us. I was almost dozing off due to the place being too silent for my liking when suddenly a jarring noise shook the whole place, breaking its tranquility.

I glanced up and that's when I saw him.

He was wearing a black hoodie, a size too big for him as it covered almost all of his body. His hood was pulled up too. At first, I thought it was weird because why would somebody wear something so covering when it was blazing outside? I mean if I could, I would roam around the college in my boxers. Okay, I admit that would be weird and I know I'd probably get thrown inside a cell for being a ert but anyways let's not talk about that.

I focused my attention back to him as he picked up his books while muttering apologies to everyone before he walked across my table and sat down on an empty one. Though it only remained empty for a second before someone joined him. I watched him as he looked up at whoever it was before giving that person a dazzling smile.

At that time I had no idea who he was and I didn't even know why I was watching him so intently. To be honest I didn't even know why I was feeling so attracted to him. But I remember Newton had said that every particle in this universe attracts another particle with a force. Maybe that's why when his lips curled up to form a smile that resembled a heart, I felt my own skipping a beat.

At that time I didn't know who Do Kyungsoo was. All I knew that he had a gorgeous smile and eyes that shone bright like they contained the whole universe inside them.

I am Park Chanyeol and I was 23 when I first saw Do Kyungsoo and fell in love with him.

^^^

I am Park Chanyeol and I was 24 when I first spoke to Do Kyungsoo.

It was a quiet afternoon with the skies being clear from clouds. The sun shone brightly, making the day warmer than usual. With the approaching end of summer, the college started preparing for its new session. Everyone was busy in the planning of the new year. Everyone, except me.

Well, it’s not like I wasn’t anticipating the new term or something, but it’s just that I didn’t have enough time. You see, I was busy helping my mother in handling our family restaurant. It had gained some well-deserved popularity due to a commercial and because of that, there was an increased tide of the customers.

It had gone well at that time, with all of our family members being extremely happy because of the sudden surge in popularity. I was giddy too because I got to meet many new people and some even showed interest in my talent for music making. All in all, it was a good time for us and all of us were enjoying it to the fullest.

I was serving another customer when the tinkling of the bell informed me of another customer. I quickly turned around to greet whoever it was and that's when I saw him. He was standing there looking a little lost, his hair in a complete disarray as if he had run over here. I watched as he approached me, asking me if it was possible to get a seat here.

I was so dazed and awestruck that I didn’t even have the ability to form anything coherent. I just nodded my head and showed him the table near the window. He did give me a strange look but I was too gone to notice it because heck, I was seeing Do Kyungsoo after 3 long months! I didn’t even realize when he had walked to the table and taken his seat. I only returned to my senses when my sister pushed me towards his table and I instantly noticed that there was another man sitting across him.

I guessed they were talking about something very important, seeing the slight furrow of his eyebrows. I wondered who this man was and thought just what kind of relationship did he have with Kyungsoo but before I could dwell more on the subject, another nudge from my sister ensured that it wasn’t the right time.

Letting out a soft sigh, I walked towards the pair and schooled my expression with a cheery smile that I always held for my customers. With limited patience, I took their orders and went back to the kitchen. After 10 minutes when I returned, I saw that the other man was gone leaving Kyungsoo alone on his own.

He didn’t notice me as he stared out of the window, lost in his own thoughts. Looking at his slouched form, I didn’t know why I had this intense feeling of comforting him. I wanted to reach out to him and tell him that whatever had happened, it was going to be alright. I wanted to hold him and tell him that he wasn’t alone.

But I couldn’t.

So, I placed the order on his table and filled his glass with some water. He turned back and fixed me with a questioning look as if asking me what was my true intentions. But I didn’t say anything. I gave him a small smile and told him that he looked like he needed it. He didn’t reply. He just gave me a curt nod and gulped down the water before getting up and leaving the restaurant.

It was nothing, yet it was something.

At that time I didn’t know what exactly went through his head or what had actually happened between him and that man. All I knew that my actions had somehow made Kyungsoo return the next day, and the day after the next day, and the day after that. And before I could realize what was happening, I had already struck a friendship with the man who owned my heart.

I am Park Chanyeol and I was 24 when I first spoke to Do Kyungsoo and had somehow managed to strike a friendship with him.

^^^

I am Park Chanyeol and I was 25 when I traced Kyungsoo’s constellations.

It was a quiet afternoon after long days of storm and thunders. The sun was peeking up from the clouds from time to time and wind swept over the trees gently, making them brush gently against each other. I was casually lounging on my bed with Kyungsoo’s head pressed against my thigh, a gentle reminder of his presence.

We were supposed to study together for the upcoming exams but somehow we had completely forgotten about it as we lay in our bed together, talking about nothing in particular. I don’t remember exactly what we had discussed or everything had escalated so quickly but soon enough I found that I couldn’t stop looking at his lips.

I couldn't withdraw my eyes as he spoke, as his lips formed sentences after sentences, words after words. I couldn’t look away as his eyes followed my gaze and landed on my lips. I couldn’t pull away as his eyes locked with mine, his eyes shining bright with a spark that I so longed to see.

I don’t know who moved first, I don’t know who pulled the other closer first. All I knew that his lips were on mine and my hands were on his waist, dragging him closer to me. Before I could realize what was exactly happening, we were on each other. My hands roamed over his untouched flesh, feeling, squeezing everything within its reach. His fingers raked upon my back, leaving his own trails of marks.

We were a hot, messy tangle of limbs as we removed our clothing, yearning to touch a bit more, to feel a bit more. It was clumsy, it imperfect, but it was us. It was so very us. It was us in purest and rawest version anyone could ever find.

When I entered him for the first time, I felt like I was going crazy. I felt like I had finally tasted what heaven felt like. He had cried out from the pain of being entered for the first time and I had tried my earnest to make it fulfilling for him as much as it was for me. I had moved slow, had tried to control the beast inside of me, had tried to make it as perfect as it could be. And I knew that I was successful when he had thrown his head back, gasping from the pleasure and asking for more.

When it was all over and we just lay there next to each other with his back pressed against my chest, I realized, no I felt the love that I had for him coursing through my body, rushing through my veins, making my heart pound louder than it had ever been. I felt like crying. I felt like laughing. I felt that my mind was going insane with all the feelings that were flooding inside of me.

I pulled back from him and little and that's when my eyes landed on the several moles littered across his back. They ranged from tiny to small and ended up with a big one near his neck. Without thinking twice, I moved closer to him once again and placed a small peck on the one upon his neck.

I could feel the shiver which ran through his body as my lips continued to devour his mole. When he turned back to see me, I noticed how eyes had turned a little glassy as his face was colored in crimson. I had smiled at him and he had asked what was I doing. I didn’t say anything. I just smiled a little more and leaned in before whispering ‘I love you’ against his lips.

When I looked up at him, his eyes were moist with unshed tears. I panicked, thinking if I said something wrong, thinking if I really ruined it all. But before I could say anything, he stopped me as he kissed me tenderly and said that he’d been wanting to hear them for a while now.

I don’t really remember what happened after that. All I knew that I must have wept like an idiot before declaring just how much I was in love with him.

I am Park Chanyeol and I was 25 when I traced Kyungsoo’s constellations and kissed them all.

^^^

I am Park Chanyeol and I was 26 when I let go of Kyungsoo.

It was a cold winter night, with the winds sweeping across the city in an unmerciful way, making it turn bitter from cold. I was sitting on my sofa with my head in between my hands. I was worried, no I was terrified because Kyungsoo suddenly wasn’t answering my calls.

I didn’t know what I had done wrong. I had no idea of what I was being punished like this. Just mere hours ago we were sitting here in each other’s embrace, talking about what kind of food we’d like to eat for dinner. It was all going well when suddenly my phone started to ring, breaking the comforting silence of house with its loud noise.

I got up from my seat and picked up the call. After a long talk when I returned to the living room I saw that Kyungsoo was gone. At first, I thought that he had gone to the toilet but when I saw that it was empty, I felt panic slowly bubbling inside of me. I instantly dialed his number but learned that it was switched off.

My panic started to grow more as I called again and again but no matter how many times I tried, he never picked up. With every call, my fear grew more.I tried every number I had of him but he didn’t pick it up. Dejected, I called his friend Jongdae who to my utter relief finally accepted the call.

I instantly shot him questions about what happened with Kyungsoo and if he knew where he was but to my dismay he said that he had no idea where Kyungsoo was off to. As I cut the call, I sank on the ground, thinking just what wrong did I do for him to get up and leave like this suddenly.

Pain.

Raw agony was flowing through