sehun is a morning person. he wakes up every morning to the glow of golden sun behind his eyelids, and the sensation of soft lips pressed against his neck. he keeps his eyes closed as the kisses migrate - one on his jaw, another on the tip of his nose, followed by one to his forehead, and finally, a sweet touch to his mouth. only then does he open his eyes to gaze up at the owner of those lips. baekhyun hovers prettily over him, a teasing look on his face. sehun’s eyes crinkle up in delight, and he is rewarded with matching crescents on his boyfriend’s face. this is a game they play every morning: sehun never wakes much later than baekhyun, but always feigns sleep until the other finishes mapping his face with kisses.

 

“good morning boyfriend,” he greets, throat still rasp with sleep. baekhyun ducks down to rest his head in the crook of sehun’s neck. he makes a noise of content, and a tiny puff of air tickles below sehun’s ear. sehun allows the cuddling to happen for a few minutes before turning on his side to face baekhyun. the latter whines in disapproval as his headrest is taken from him, but brightens up considerably when sehun indulgently pecks his forehead. “you’re gonna be late for work,” he reminds. baekhyun wiggles unhappily.

 

“don’t wanna go,” he complains, “wanna stay home and cuddle with you.”

 

“i have classes too,” sehun laughs. “besides, imagine how upset your students will be if teacher byun doesn’t show up.”

 

baekhyun huffs again, but sehun knows he wouldn’t miss a day of classes though he complains every morning. “teacher byun has to take time off too.” he rolls onto sehun, pushing him flat on his back and resting over his chest like a pet cat. sehun had once asked why he insisted on doing so, and baekhyun had responded that he likes listening to sehun’s heartbeat. since then, sehun has never protested his boyfriend’s actions.

 

he runs his fingers through baekhyun’s hair softly. “but student sehun still has classes to go to. you’d have no one to cuddle even if you stayed home.”

 

“lies.” baekhyun’s voice is muffled against the fabric of sehun’s shirt. “i could cuddle the blankets. they’re nicer than you anyways.” his boyfriend chuckles, and baekhyun rubs his face into sehun’s chest, enjoying the rumbling sensation.

 

“now who’s lying?” sehun asks. baekhyun pops his head up to glare teasingly at the younger, who takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around baekhyun and roll them around once again. baekhyun looks up with indignation but sehun only grins unapologetically as he leans down and slots his mouth with the smaller man’s. “you love me,” he whispers against his boyfriend’s lips.

 

baekhyun’s gaze is one of adoration. “i do,” he confirms as he tilts his chin up for another kiss. before things can get out of hand, though, sehun pulls away.

 

“but we’re really gonna be late if we keep this up.”

 

“why do you have to be the more responsible one,” baekhyun whines, put out. “i’m older.” sehun’s response is only a grin as he climbs out of bed. “can we continue this later?” he asks hopefully. recently they’ve both gotten busier as sehun approaches graduation and baekhyun has finally become a permanent teacher at the little music school he works at. it’s been over a month since they’ve been intimate with each other, only really having time to talk with one another in the mornings.

 

sehun pauses from where he’s pulling on a pair of sinfully tight skinny jeans. he turns around to shoot his boyfriend an apologetic smile. “i’m sorry baek, but jongin and i have to rehearse for our dance recital tonight. you know how it is.” he winces as soon as the words are out of his mouth - they’ve been fighting over this for the past few weeks, since sehun had announced that he would be spending extra hours in the studio to rehearse. as expected, his boyfriend’s mouth downturns into a scowl. the playful mood from earlier is completely gone.

 

“oh of course. sorry for asking.” sighing, sehun pads over to the closet to look for a suitable shirt.

 

“love, i know we haven’t been spending as much time together recently but school has been really busy. you know how important this recital is; jongin’s and my future depend on it.”

 

“well would it hurt to end practice an hour or two early?” baekhyun questions angrily from his spot on the bed.

 

“can we not argue about this now?” sehun pleads while tugging a black tshirt over his head. he gets stuck in his rush and growls in frustration. before he can start to remedy the situation, he feels soft hands helping him along.

 

“this is my shirt,” baekhyun says with a frown after he finally gets sehun settled. “no wonder you got stuck. it’s not your size.” sehun shrugs with a cheeky expression on his face.

 

“i love you babe,” he smiles down winningly.

 

“hmph,” baekhyun huffs. he quickly rises onto his tippy toes to press a chaste kiss to sehun’s cheek. “i love you too. but don’t think you’re off the hook. we’re going to have this conversation soon.” he narrows his eyes in warning.

 

“of course.” sehun promises.

 

 

 

the next morning, sehun opens his eyes once again to see his boyfriend smiling down at him. he chases after baekhyun’s lips to nip at them softly. “hello to you too,” baekhyun giggles in between kisses. “i missed you last night.”

 

“hmm,” sehun grunts, still happily pressed against baekhyun’s mouth. “practice ran late. jongin had a new idea for the choreography so we’ve been reworking some details of the piece.” at his words, baekhyun pulls away.

 

“does that mean even more added practices?” he asks, disappointed.

 

his boyfriend sighs, tugging baekhyun down onto his chest. the elder obliges, resting his ear gently over sehun’s heart. “i’m sorry,” sehun whispers as he noses at baekhyun’s hair.

 

“i get it, i do, this is important to you. but i don’t know why you can’t just take a break once in a while. the both of you are already so good at what you do, would it really hurt that much to spend an evening with me?” sehun sighs again.

 

“i only wish it were that easy, baek. there are gonna be scouts for all the big dance teams and companies at the performance and we really need that opportunity. otherwise how else will i ever earn a living with a degree in dance?” he pecks the top of baekhyun’s head as the older squirms against him.

 

his boyfriend props his head up, resting his chin on sehun’s chest. “i know, i want you to be successful too, but i just, i really miss you,” baekhyun responds as he stares into sehun’s eyes.

 

sehun shakes his head in confusion. “it’s not like i’m gone, baekhyunnie. i’m right here, right beside you.”

 

“are you really though?” his boyfriend asks sadly. sehun doesn’t have an answer, so he simply settles for tightening his grip around baekhyun’s waist, hoping that his actions will convey what his words cannot.

 

“hey, good morning baby.” for a change, sehun is the first to wake up. he rains kisses on his boyfriend’s face, laughing when baekhyun scrunches his nose in disgust.

 

“gross sehunnie. morning breath!”

 

“rude,” sehun whines, “i never complain about yours, do i? and trust me, you definitely don’t smell like roses in the morning.”

 

baekhyun throws a leg over sehun’s hip. “but i’m cute anyways.”

 

“mm, really cute.” baekhyun giggles as he nuzzles into sehun’s collarbone. “what’s got you in such a good mood today?”

 

at the question, sehun beams down at his boyfriend. “well, since you’ve been complaining about not spending time together, i asked jongin and he said i can skip out on practice tonight! of course, it means we’re going to have to make up those hours somewhere along the way, but that’s alright. how about we go on a date today, hm?” he looks expectantly at baekhyun, already anticipating the other’s response. he’s already thought of some date ideas and can’t wait to hear what baekhyun thinks.

 

“oh my god sehunnie,” baekhyun starts. he lifts his head from where it had been buried against sehun. his expression, instead of the joy sehun has been looking for, is one of guilt. “i’m so sorry but i have a faculty dinner tonight. i thought- i thought it would be okay and i wouldn’t need to tell you because you haven’t been home until late recently.”

 

“can’t you cancel?” sehun asks.

 

baekhyun bites his lip nervously. “we’re having a mini awards ceremony tonight and director kim told me i might win something. babe, this is such an important milestone for me, you understand right?”

 

the younger heaves a heavy sigh. “yeah, yeah i do. how about i come with you then? i just want to spend time with my boyfriend.”

 

baekhyun tenderly down sehun’s cheek. “i’m sorry. it’s a faculty-only party. no plus ones.”

 

“it’s okay. i’ll just call jongin later and tell him we can have that practice tonight.” sehun turns so his back is facing baekhyun. “i just thought, we could finally spend some time together again, you know?”

 

“i know.”

 

“real life’s a .” baekhyun laughs softly against his back.

 

“i think we can tough it out.”

 

“i hope so,” sehun whispers as baekhyun drops a sweet kiss to the back of his neck. “i really

do.”

 

“you came home early last night,” baekhyun says as he rolls around to prod sehun awake.

 

sehun blinks blearily and looks over at his boyfriend. “oh yeah, i left practice early cause i wanted to come home to surprise you but. you weren’t home.” he tilts his chin to ask for kisses. baekhyun obliges.

 

“yeah i had parent-teacher conferences yesterday. then the other teachers and i went out for drinks. there’s nothing more stressful than talking to parents for hours on end.” baekhyun notes that sehun looks momentarily hurt.

 

“you never tell me your schedule anymore,” sehun replies in a small voice. his older boyfriend reaches out to grab his hand and starts to mindlessly play with the other’s longer fingers.

 

he sighs. “it’s cause you’re never home anyway.”

 

“well when i want to do something nice for you you’re the one that’s busy!”

 

“oh sehun, you’re always springing these surprises on me. how am i supposed to plan around them?”

 

“well i take time out of my practices to try and hang out with you. why can’t you do the same?” sehun asks angrily.

 

now baekhyun is getting riled up too. “don’t even start!” he exclaims. “nine times out of ten i only know you’re still alive because you slide into bed at god knows what hour of the night! you’re always out dancing or studying with friends and not getting back until late. you never text me and i only see you in the mornings now!”

 

“i’m busy,” the younger says coldly. “i’m trying to graduate and get my life on track.”

 

“you think i’m not?” baekhyun cries. “i’ve tried my best to make time for us but you’re always out and now all of a sudden you expect me to acquiesce even though i have my own job and responsibilities?” the tears start falling faster and sehun instantly regrets starting the argument.

 

“baek, oh no baek, don’t cry,” he whispers tenderly as the elder rests his forehead against his younger boyfriend’s chest. sehun wraps his arms against baekhyun’s smaller frame, holding him tightly. “i’m sorry love, i’m really sorry. it’s all my fault. don’t cry.” baekhyun hits him weakly in the side as he keeps his face buried in sehun’s shirt. “you’ll get my shirt all dirty.”

 

at this, baekhyun snorts. “you only care about your shirt,” he teases through his tears.

 

“you caught me,” sehun replies with a grin. baekhyun smacks him again. “don’t be mad. i love you.”

 

the smaller sniffles. “i love you too.”

 

“can we do something today? it’s saturday.” baekhyun asks from where he’s still tucked under the blankets.

 

“can’t. dance practice,” is sehun’s gruff reply. his hair’s ruffled and his eyes squint at the light streaming in through the window. he hastily pulls on a pair of sweatpants - he had forgotten to tell baekhyun to wake him and was now running quite late. “tomorrow?” he asks, hopping on one foot.

 

this time it’s baekhyun’s turn to huff. “can’t. the kids are having their first recital and i need to be there.” sehun sighs.

 

“of course. next time then?”

 

“yeah i guess. again,” baekhyun stresses with an eyeroll.

 

sehun nods. “okay babe. i love you.” he hurries over to the bed to drop a peck on baekhyun before rushing out the door of the bedroom.

 

“your breath stinks! brush your teeth!” baekhyun shouts after him.

 

“no time!” sehun calls back, only pausing to put his shoes on.

 

as he runs out the door to catch his bus, sehun can’t help but wonder when they stopped fighting so hard to spend time with one another and started simply accepting it.

 

“you didn’t come home until late again,” baekhyun intones as soon as he notices sehun is awake. his eyes bore holes up into the ceiling.

 

“yeah sorry. jongin and i were putting the finishing touches on our piece. it’s turning out really great; i’m excited for you to see it,” sehun answers as he sits up with a groan.

 

his boyfriend ignores him, instead asking, “did you see the table when you came home yesterday?”

 

“hm, what? oh yeah. there was a big vase of flowers in the middle. thought it was strange.” there’s a confused frown on his face as he rolls his neck to work out the kinks.

 

“it was our third year anniversary last night,” baekhyun replies softly. “i waited for you.” sehun freezes in his motions and looks down in alarm at his boyfriend.

 

“oh my god. baek, baby, i am so sorry i forgot - it must have slipped my mind what with all the preparations i’ve been doing lately and, i just, i can’t believe i forgot,” he panics. baekhyun glares at him.

 

“save it, sehun. you can’t keep saying sorry and expecting me to forgive you just because you said the word. it doesn’t work like that.” he rolls over so all sehun can see is his hunched back. the shudders start soon enough, wracking his small body as he cries his eyes out.

 

“baekhyun...” sehun starts, only to trail off when his boyfriend only trembles even harder. “i’m really sorry baekhyun. i love you and i promise, i’ll make it up to you.” he reaches over to try and leave a comforting hand on baekhyun’s shoulder but is shrugged off unapologetically.

 

“just leave. please.” the other’s voice is barely audible.

 

“i,” sehun hesitates. “okay,” he sighs in resignation as he heads over to the closet. “but baek, i really do love you and i didn’t mean to forget.”

 

“i love you too,” baekhyun stops crying long enough to get the words out. the younger exhales in relief as he heads into the bathroom.

 

sehun leaves the house with a wane smile on his face, pausing as the revelation hits that he is only a morning person because it’s the only time he can pretend everything is okay, that his relationship with baekhyun isn’t falling apart in front of their very eyes.

 

the morning kisses stopped a long time ago, sehun thinks as he stirs awake. the sun still streams in through the window and the same man is still by his side, but something is different between them now. “hey,” baekhyun says when he notices sehun blinking at him.

 

“hi,” sehun replies. the evening before had been weird. for once, sehun had returned home early enough to catch dinner with his boyfriend. but instead of the feelings of relief he had expected from being able to spend time with baekhyun, he had felt guilt and grief. the two had barely exchanged words, instead each attending to their own business. “i think we should talk.”

 

“i think we should stop pretending and lying to each other,” baekhyun cuts to the point. he has always been blunt with his words, his likes and dislikes. sehun nods in affirmation. “this arrangement - whatever it is, because i don’t even know anymore - is not going to work out.”

 

sehun closes his eyes slowly before reopening them. “i thought we just needed to spend time together again but after last night,” he pauses, “i think you’re right. at this point, we’re more like roommates who share a bed. do we even count as friends anymore?” he chuckles humorlessly. a tear trickles from the corner of his eye.

 

baekhyun looks at him with something akin to regret as he reaches out to brush the water droplet off with his thumb. he leaves his hand resting there, cupped against sehun’s cheek. “i really did love you.”

 

“and i loved you too. we had something really great while it lasted,” he states.

 

his boyfriend, ex boyfriend now, barks out a laugh. “i guess we didn’t pass the test of life after all. and i was so sure we would.”

 

“yeah,” sehun simpers softly. “i’m sorry i hurt you.” baekhyun ruffles his hair one last time before pushing himself off the bed.

 

“i’m going to go to work now. we can talk about the living arrangements later, i guess.”

 

“okay.” sehun nods automatically. “have a good day with the kids.”

 

baekhyun blinks at him in surprise, before smiling. it’s the same smile sehun had fallen so hard for, so many years ago. come to think of it, it’s been a while since the smile he’s seen on baekhyun’s face hasn’t been strained. “thanks sehunnie. i will.”

 

as he watches baekhyun walk out the door, sehun doesn’t think he will ever be a morning person again.

 

epilogue:

 

baekhyun huffs as he unloads his crib of clean laundry onto the bed. it’s been a week since he and sehun had split up and the younger had moved out to room with his dance partner, jongin, instead. baekhyun sighs with unhappiness as he starts folding the clothes - he has always hated doing mundane household chores, instead choosing to leave them to sehun most of the time. he was lucky the younger never complained. but now that their relationship has ended, he’s forced to do his own laundry again.

 

his thoughts are cut off when he fishes the next sweatshirt out from the pile. it’s a size large and baekhyun has always been a size medium. but even beyond this, he recognizes the sweatshirt: it’s sehun’s. with a groan, he realizes sehun must’ve forgotten this article of clothing while moving out and now he’s stuck with a constant reminder of his ex. baekhyun lays the black hoodie out on the bed and pats it awkwardly. he remembers the last time sehun had worn it, back before their relationship started going downhill. the taller had looked so handsome as he stood outside his car, waiting for baekhyun to finish classes. the smile that had lit up his face when he spotted his boyfriend was so full of love that even now, baekhyun’s breath stutters at the memory of it.

 

he blinks as a drop of water lands on the hand that’s outstretched on the sweatshirt. he’s confused until he realizes his eyes are wet and he’s weeping. wordlessly, baekhyun tugs the hoodie on over his head. he scoots further up the bed and curls into the fetal position; he cries himself to sleep.