i know it's over / the smiths

there’s a car wreck.

i see myself in the road. the pavement is slick with freshly fallen rain. the night air is silent and heavy.

my body is contorted in an unnatural pose. my skin is pale, nearly blue. there’s blood, and it’s probably mine.

i’m dying.

a man dressed in a suit leans over my body. he is inhumanely handsome, and radiating a strange glow.

i gaze ahead lifelessly, my pupils dilated as i stare into nothingness. i do not seem to notice the man, or i may not even be able to see him.

his hand sweeps over my eyes, and they shut slowly.

the dream ends there, just as it does every time.

i wake up with a throbbing pain in my head. slivers of light filter annoyingly through the flimsy curtains. groaning, i massage at my temples as i roll over in bed.

glancing at the clock, a sigh escapes my lips. i had woken up only a few minutes before my alarm. even if i don’t want to, i know i have to get out of bed.

because bae joohyun will die today.

. . .

somehow, she always looked pretty even when taking out the trash.

but that day joohyun could have been wearing a ballgown and i would not have noticed.

the truth is that death is not a dark cloud. there is a reason we see a light at the end of the tunnel.

some say that just as darkness is the absence of light, death is the absence of life.

i am not so sure if that is true, not when death permeates everything.

every living thing is at the same time dying. the moment we are born, we begin to die.

as joohyun stood in front of me she glowed with the familiar dim light of soul marked to leave. i knew it couldn’t be an illness, people who were sick tended to always slightly glow as if preparing to leave for a long time. the light coming from joohyun was different. there was no way that she could know as she blissfully separated her recycling.

“ah, jisoo.” she greeted with a smile as she finally noticed me. “have you been standing there long?”

“no, i just got here.” i lied, returning her smile with some effort. i reached toward her in what would seem like a friendly touch of the hand. but i knew that one touch would reveal things no one was supposed to know.

i saw joohyun.

she walked onto a balcony, wearing her uniform and name tag with the name of the hotel she worked at. she pulled off her shoes and exhaled in relief as she wiggled her toes through her nylons.

she stuck a straw in a yogurt as she leaned against the balcony rails.

a mens necktie was violently yanked around . she gasped out in surprise, dropping her yogurt. an unseen figure tightens the tie around her neck. joohyun struggles against him, her face reddening from lack of oxygen. a gold ring on his finger glints in the light as he clenches his fist.

and then, her body fell over the rail. joohyun reached toward the balcony. her eyes widened as she silently fell to the ground, too shocked to scream.  

“what’s with that look in your eyes?” joohyun asked with an uncomfortable laugh, pulling me from my vision.

i released my hand from hers. there was nothing left