Park Jinyoung is happily married to Im Jaebum, but that was what he thought. He thought that Jaebum loves him and only him but behind his back, Jaebum is seeing someone else. Jinyoung thought that Jaebum will never cheat on him but Jaebum did so. Jinyoung thought that Jaebum will be loyal to him, but Jaebum is far away from being loyal.

                Jaebum and Jinyoung are eating their dinner when Jaebum’s phone rings. Jaebum looked at his phone to know who is calling and saw that it is his lover, Choi Youngjae. He quickly answered and went outside. Jinyoung felt hurt when his husband left him eating alone and without saying something to him. Jinyoung then stood up and put his plate on the sink since he lost his appetite. He went back to the table and cleaned it. He took the food and placed it inside the refrigerator for them to eat tomorrow for their breakfast. Jinyoung went to the sink and washed the dishes.

                After washing the dishes, Jinyoung went to their shared bedroom and prepares himself to sleep. He is already accustomed to Jaebum leaving and returning tomorrow. Jinyoung is hurt when Jaebum leaves but he can’t do anything since Jaebum told him that it’s his work.

Jinyoung doesn’t know how many times this had happened since he lost count and he is now accustomed to sleeping alone in the cold night. He once thought that maybe his husband is cheating on him and is spending the night with his lover but Jinyoung doesn’t want to confront his husband because his husband will think that he is not trusting him. In fact, he fully gave his love, care and trust to his husband.

Jinyoung lied down on the bed alone in their dark cold room thinking. Did I do something wrong for him to do this? For him to leave me alone here. It’s been 3 days since he last slept beside me. Jinyoung doesn’t know if his husband is still telling him the truth or not. He doesn’t know if his husband still loves him or loves someone else now. He felt those every time Jaebum leaves him. He felt that Jaebum doesn’t love him anymore. He felt that Jaebum will leave him and he will be alone. He felt his world crash and his heart breaks into pieces just by thinking those and he doesn’t know what to do and how can he survive when that happens.

Jinyoung decided to call his husband just to know how he is doing. And after a few rings, the other line answered.

“Jaebum?” Jinyoung keeps on calling his husband but no one’s answering. He is now worried and called Jaebum continuously.

“Jaebummie.” Jinyoung heard an unfamiliar voice form the other line. He doesn’t know who that person is and why is he calling his husband ‘Jae-baby’.

“Why are you calling Jae-baby?” Jaebum answered. Jinyoung thought that Jaebum answered him but to his dismay it was not. He keeps on calling Jaebum but the latter isn’t answering him.

“Aren’t you done? I want to sleep now.” The other person said.

“Just wait a sec, baby. I will just save this and we will sleep okay?” Jaebum answered. Jinyoung world crushed. Tears began to escape in his eyes hearing those words from his husband. His husband never said those to him. He once asked Jaebum to stop what his doing and sleep with him but the latter refuses to do so.

“Okay. I’ll wait for you. I love you Jaebummie.” The other man on the line said.

“I love you too Jae-baby.” Jaebum said. And with that, Jinyoung’s heart breaks into little pieces. Jaebum just said ‘I love you’ to him once and it took him months before he heard those. But with the man he is with, he can easily say those three words to him. Jinyoung’s fears came true. What he thought earlier came true.

“Is there something in him that I don’t have? I love you so much, isn’t that enough? Do you truly love him more than you love me? You didn’t really love me at all?” Jinyoung said to himself. His world is continuously crushing and his heart is continuously breaking. He doesn’t know what to do anymore. He looked at their wedding picture and he tears burst again.

“Am I not enough for you? Didn’t I fullfil your needs? Am I not good enough of a husband for you? I don’t know what I did wrong, please tell me. I want to know where I lack so that I can give it to you.” Jinyoung said to their wedding picture. “Please tell me. I don’t want you to leave me Jaebum. I love you so much. I showed you how much I love you and I care for you. Please Jaebum, don’t leave me. Please.” Jinyoung added.

Jinyoung kept on crying and talking to Jaebum in their wedding picture. Jinyoung wanted to know what he did wrong and what he is lacking that the other man has. He wants to know why Jaebum will leave him. He doesn’t know what to do anymore. His fears really came true. He doesn’t know how he will survive through this.

Jinyoung then went to their cabinet and looked for their wedding pictures. He keeps on scanning them, reminiscing everything that happened during their wedding – how happy he is that day. He didn’t noticed that Jaebum is smiling forcefully during their wedding pictures. He didn’t notice that Jaebum never once smile genuinely to him. Now that he thought of it, he now know that Jaebum didn’t or never loves him even once. He now knows that Jaebum loves someone else.

Tears keeps on dropping until he fell asleep.

~~

                Jinyoung woke up early and remembered everything. Tears began to escape his eyes and his heart begins to break. His world slowly crumbles and the lights slowly blackens. He eyesight begans to blur and his voice becomes hoarse. He keeps on crying even until Jaebum came home. Jaebum saw how his husband is hurting. He saw those tears escapes his husband’s eyes and he doesn’t know why. He slowly walked towards his husband and sat beside him.

                Jinyoung then came back to reality feeling the presence beside him. He slowly looked at Jaebum’s direction and he cries again. Jaebum is in panic now, seeing his husband crying without him knowing the reason.

                “Why are you crying Jinyoungie?” Jaebum curiously asked.

                “It’s nothing Jaebummie. It’s a nightmare.” Jinyoung lied to Jaebum. I don’t want you to know that I already knew that you never loved me. I don’t want you to know that I already knew that you are cheating on me. I don’t want you to leave me Jaebum. Jinyoung thought to himself.

                “I’m here Jinyoungie. It’s just a nightmare. It’s not true.” Jaebum assured Jinyoung. My nightmare already came true Jaebum. My fears already came true and I don’t know what to do anymore. Should I let you go? Or should I be selfish and keep you to myself. I want to keep you but I also want you to be happy. I don’t know anymore, Jaebum. Please tell me what to do. Please.

                Jaebum keeps on calming Jinyoung and the latter did after a few minutes. Jinyoung then stood up and went to the bathroom to clean his face. He looked at himself and the mirror and asked, “Am I not beautiful enough for you to love me? Am I not enough for you? Please tell me Jaebum. Please. I want to know your opinion. I want to know what you think of me because that is my last straw. I want to know if you really love me. I want to know if you really want me beside you. And if not, I will let you go even if it kills me. I will sacrifice my happiness just for you to be happy. I want you to be happy Jaebum. So please tell me.” Jinyoung cried again but he made sure that Jaebum can’t hear him. “If you are going to leave me Jaebum, please be happy with him. I want to see you happy Jaebum. I thought you are happy with me but I'm wrong. I am blinded by my own happiness to see that you are not. I want you to be happy to the very end Jaebum. I want to see how happy you are with him Jaebum. And if you really are, I will file a divorce myself and let you go.”

~~

                It’s been weeks since Jinyoung knew that Jaebum is cheating on him. Jinyoung is not doing anything to get Jaebum back to him. He doesn’t want to be selfish anymore. He only wants to see how happy Jaebum is with his lover and if he really is, Jinyoung will let him go and will never bother him again.

Jinyoung really envies Jaebum’s lover because he can do whatever Jinyoung wants to do with Jaebum and he hears those three words that Jinyoung wanted the most. Jinyoung is just waiting for his last wish and it is to see how happy Jaebum is with his lover.

Jinyoung asked Mark, his bestfriend to accompany him in following Jaebum to finally know everything. Mark complies with Jinyoung’s favor and they are now outside a fancy restaurant, which is the restaurant Jinyoung wants to have dinner with Jaebum but never happened. They followed Jaebum everywhere and Jinyoung saw how happy Jaebum is with Choi Youngjae.

“Let’s go now Mark-hyung. I finally know that Jaebum is really happy with him. I will let him go hyung even though it really pains me to do so. I wish for him to be really happy Mark-hyung. He’s never happy with me hyung. At first, I really thought he is, but lately I’ve been observing him and he is never been genuine like that with me. I really envy Choi Youngjae, Mark-hyung. The man I love the most loves him. The man I cares the most cares for him. Jaebum never loves me even once, hyung.” Jinyoung said while crying. Mark then guided Jinyoung into the car and took him home.

~~

                Morning came and Mark is on his way to Jinyoung. He did promise Jinyoung to be with him and will never leave him alone. He knows how hurt Jinyoung is. He knows how depressed Jinyoung is lately and he can’t afford to lose Jinyoung, his best friend. He knows what depressed people are capable to do. He wants Jinyoung to be happy. He is here for Jinyoung and will never leave him alone. He will always be Jinyoung’s shoulder to cry on. He will always make sure that Jinyoung is in good condition.

                “Jinyoungie?” Mark called once he entered the house.

                “Jinyoungie? Where are you?” Mark called once again since Jinyoung is not answering. He decided to go upstairs to look for Jinyoung. He felt relief when he saw his best friend sleeping soundly.

                “Jinyoungie. Wake up. It’s already morning.” Mark woke his best friend. Jinyoung slowly opened his eyes and saw his.

                “Get up now Jinyoungie. We are going to the lawyer as you said yesterday.” Jinyoung decided to finally let Jaebum go and he himself will file the divorce papers. Jinyoung got up and prepares everything he needed.

                After a while he is finished and they are on their way to the lawyer.

--

                Jaebum went home to see his husband but he is disappointed to not see him there and instead he saw an envelope with the divorce papers and a letter attached it.

Jaebum Hyung,

                I am sorry for keeping you with me. I am so sorry for keeping you away from your happiness. I want you to be happy Jaebum hyung. I want you to be happy with him. I want you to live with him. I didn’t even notice that you’re not happy with me. I am sorry for that hyung. I am now letting you go. I saw how happy you are with him Jaebum hyung. How comfortable you are with him. I envy him a lot hyung. I want you to love me just like how you love him but I don’t want to be selfish anymore hyung. I don’t to keep you away from him, your happiness. I already knew everything hyung. I already knew 2 months ago. I’m sorry if I filed this divorce papers late, I just want to be with you even just for months but fate doesn’t want me to. So I am finally letting you go hyung. Don’t feel guilty hyung. I know you tried to love me but you can’t. You can’t teach your heart hyung. And your hearts beats for him, for Choi Youngjae. Your hearts screams for him and not me. I am glad that you found someone that will make you happy. I know I deserve this heart break since I kept you away from him. I hope that you will live happily with him hyung. I wish you all the best and love him faithfully hyung.

Park Jinyoung

                Jaebum’s eyes widen after he read everything. Guilt is slowly building up to him. He knows that Jinyoung loves him so much, that Jinyoung cares for him so much but he ignored him. All he know is that he is still in love with his first love, Choi Youngjae. He didn’t know that Jinyoung knew everything but the latter didn’t even complain even once. Jinyoung didn’t even said anything to him about that.

~~

                It’s been 2 months since the divorce papers are sent to Jaebum and Jinyoung is still waiting for the signed papers for him to finally let Jaebum go and be happy with Youngjae.

                Jinyoung is currently living with his family since he left Jaebum and he is watching a series in the TV when he heard a knock. Jinyoung stood up and slowly went to the door to open it. In his surprise, Jaebum, the man he loves the most, is on the other side of the door.

                Did he sign the papers? Is he officially leaving me? Is this the end? Jinyoung thought to himself.

                “Jinyoungie…” Jaebum affectionately called him. “Why did you leave Jinyoungie? Why did you left me there alone?” Jaebum said with tears escaping from his eyes. Jinyoung is surprised to see Jaebum crying in front of him and asking him why did he left him.

                “You loved Youngjae, hyung. I saw how happy you are with how. I saw everything hyung. I want you to be happy hyung. I want you to be with the one you truly love. I want you live with him hyung. You love him as much as I love you, no scratch that, you love him dearly, you love him very much.” Jinyoung explained.

                “I thought so too Jinyoungie. I thought I love him. I thought he’s the one but I am wrong. You are the one Jinyoungie. You are the one that I love the most. I realized it when you left me. I realized everything. How I take your love for granted. How I ignored you and didn’t considered your feelings, and I am regretting everything I did to you Jinyoungie. I really love you so please don’t leave me.” Jaebum explained.

                “But hyung…”

                “No buts Jinyoungie… You want me to be happy right? You want me to be with the one I truly love. I love you Jinyoungie and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to grow old with you and adopt kids. I love you Jinyoungie and I am sorry for everything. I am sorry for hurting you Jinyoungie. I regretted everything. Please come back to me. Please don’t leave me.” Jaebum plead to Jinyoung.

                “I don’t know hyung. You looked so happy with him hyung and you hurt me hyung. Isn’t this too easy for you?” Jinyoung said to Jaebum.

                “I will do everything Jinyoungie. I will do everything just for you to forgive me and never leave me again. I will do everything to make you come back again. I will do everything to get you back.” Jaebum strongly said.

                “Is that so hyung? Okay then. I want you to do everything you can to pursue me. I want you to do everything for me to forgive you and be with you again.” Jinyoung said to Jaebum.

                “Gladly Jinyoungie. I will gladly do it.” Jaebum said.

~~

                After a month of pursuing Jinyoung and doing everything he can, the two is happily together again and they made sure to communicate and will tell everything to each other. They will never keep secrets and will love each other dearly.