It was 9 pm at night and I was waiting for my boyfriend , kai, to come back home to the condominium we shared. Yet again he was late and I was growing extremely frustrated . I kept staring at my watch closely just watching the time pass by . I got up and started putting the food I prepared away. I sadly went up to my bedroom as I prepared for bed. 
        About an hour later as I was already half a sleep I felt the bed dip down on one side . I rolled my eyes as I pulled the cover over my head . 

“Don’t even think about touching me Kim Jongin , just ignore me”. I said in spite. 

“Baby I’m sorry , rehearsals went later than expected,” kai said regrettingly. 
I rolled over and looked him in the eyes angrily . 
“I’m so ing tired of your excuses Jongin. Your always late for important things , why the am I still with you,” I said. 

“Babe you know that’s not fair , I’m working hard and my schedules are insane , but I’m trying to make things work for us . You know what you were in for once we started dating so I don’t know why you keep ing complaining all the time ,” he said. 

“You know what, I can’t do this anymore , I don’t want to be with a guy that is so selfish and inconsiderate of me ,” I shouted . 

“Fine , then leave ,” he said . 

        I got up and quickly threw on some clothes and put some essentials in a bag along with as much clothes I could fit and I left . I was in tears as I got in my car and sped off to my friend Amber’s place. I knocked on the door and as she opened the door I threw my arms around her and cried on her shoulder. 
        
“ hey , what’s wrong Amy ?? Are you ok,” amber said 

“No , kai is being a douchebag to me again,” I said. 

       She let me in and I threw my stuff down on the couch . I laid down as she began to my back . I kept crying for maybe 30 minutes then I stopped. 

“ I’m tired , I’m just gonna go to sleep ,” I said . 

“ ok well the guest room is all yours ,” she said . 

        I went to the bedroom and I laid on the bed . I took out my phone and I began to look at pictures of us. We looked so happy and in love . Why can’t it be like this all the time . I started sniffling again as I turned off my phone and went to sleep. I still had to go to work tomorrow . 
         The next day,  I got up and prepared for work. I was dreading going to work because that would mean I had to see him again . I actually work in sm Entertainment as a designer. I design some of the boy groups clothes for their performances.
         I originally worked at a fashion house in Paris before I got a call that sm wanted me to be their personal designer . The amount he offered was incredible and that’s why I decided to come to korea . That’s when I met kai . I never regretted choosing to come here to korea until now. It’s all because of kai . The one that was too good to turn down no matter how hard I tried. 
 
“Hey Amy are you ready to go !!?” Amber shouted . 

“Yeah I’m ready,” I said . 

        Me and amber drove to sm ent and as soon as we got in I already started to hate this day . Kai is standing there waiting for the elevator along with a girl I don’t know . She turned around and smiled . 

“Oh hey , your the famous designer !! I love your work !!” She said . 

       Kai turned around and looked at me with annoyed eyes . He quickly turned back around and went in the elevator as the blondy also went in with him .

“Aren’t you coming in too??,” she said .

“No we have something else to do first ,” amber quickly said.

       The elevator began to close as I stared at Jongin with sadness . I quickly wiped a tear as my heart began to ache . I’m sure he saw it as his expression went from annoyance to that of guilt . I stepped towards the staircase as I told amber I wanted to be alone for a while but I’ll be in my studio later . 

        I walked to the next elevator on the second floor and proceeded to the rooftop . As I stepped out I breathed deeply as fell to my knees and started to cry . I’m not sure how long it was till I heard someone behind me . 

“Amy , is that you , what’s wrong ,” DO said . 

“Nothing , just leave me alone ,” I said as I got up and wiped my tears . 

“Relationship problems ,” he said . 
 
       I nodded sadly as he took me to the side and sat me down . He looked out to the open sky for a minute before he turned to me and started speaking again . 

“ you know… I remember first meeting kai when we were trainees . We didn’t really get off on the right foot but soon became friends . He is that type that loves to take care of every little detail and perfect things to make a great performance . He is very hardworking and he is a really great guy . I know you guys are probably  fighting over how kai usually comes home late but you have to know this is his passion . He is a passionate performer and he is happy to be doing what he spent years training for . He loves you just as much as he loves being an idol. When he is with you I notice his smile is five times brighter . Whenever he talks about you he beams and he can’t stop smiling . Just give him another chance . I know he is working hard trying to make things better for the both of you “ he said . 

        As he was talking we didn’t know kai was there eavesdropping on us. Soon, DO had to leave for rehearsals so he quickly walked away . I got up and walked towards the balcony as I looked out at the city . I didn’t hear kai walking towards me. He began to envelope me in his arms . 

“Please don’t break away from me , there is something I want to tell you ,” he said sadly . 

“What…” I said curtly. 

“I love you with all my heart and I’m sorry for constantly making you cry . I’m trying to be a better boyfriend . I’m trying to be the guy you deserve . I’m not trying to make excuses but it’s just been really difficult for me too. I didn’t want to seem like I’m pushing all my problems on you that’s why I didn’t say anything . Lately , I’ve been so stressed out … whenever I leave here I always feel like going to a club and just drinking the night away but knowing I have you waiting for me at home cheers me up a bit. It is so hard trying to please everyone and I want to do a great job . I want to be the great Kai that everyone knows and loves . But…. I feel like I’m starting to get depressed again and I really want those thoughts to go away but …,” he stopped as he started to sniffle . He bowed his head into my shoulder as he started to weep silently . 
 
         I turned around and hugged him as I looked up at him. I took his face and it as I wiped some of his tears away . I hugged him again as I started to say my bit . 

“ Jongin , you are one of the best people I’ve ever met. Your so incredibly talented and hardworking . I know sometimes you may seem too unsure of yourself but I want you to have more confidence. Not everybody is perfect . You shouldn’t stress yourself out trying to fulfill everyone’s expectations . Not everyone can be satisfied. I know I sometimes ask too much of you and I’m sorry for being selfish . I know your working hard and doing your best . That’s the man I fell in love with anyways ,” I said as I too started crying . 

         He started wiping my tears as well as he looked at me and with an endearing smile . He then inches closer as his lips attached to mine . We shared a sweet kiss as we wrapped our arms around each other. We kissed till we ran out of breath and we pulled away. 
         We both smiled as we began walking back inside the building . We got back on the elevator as we prepared to separate . 

“So , we are back together right ??,” he said hastily. 

“Of course ,” I said as I giggled. 

“So could you please move back in with me , baby ,” he said. 

“Yes I would be happy to ,” I said . 

He chuckled as the elevator dinged and opened on his floor with the practice rooms . He gave me another kiss as he stepped out of the elevator . 

“Hey , Jongin , you know whenever you have those ‘feelings’ again you can talk to me right … it’s not good to hold it in , and i want to help you anyway I can . I don’t want to lose another important person in my life you know…” I said sadly. 

         He pulled me out of the elevator as I started to tear up again . He looked at me worriedly . He hugged me like I was the most fragile thing on earth . 

“ of course baby, I will confide in you . Don’t worry about me , I will be fine . I will never leave you , I promise ,” he said . 

        He looked deep into my eyes as he smiled again . He kissed me on the forehead and began to slowly walk away to the dance practice room. He kept glancing back at me as he gave me a loving look. At times like these I was so lucky to have him . 
         Honestly , just like him, I also suffered depression when I was a teen. I then developed a passion for fashion and that’s what really saved me . I’m so happy to live the life I do right now . I’m very happy to have my friends and even Jongin in my life . They are what’s keeping me afloat right now . 
          I smiled to myself as I walked back to the elevator . I went up to my floor as I walked into my office. I sighed before I went back to work on the new designs for the ELYXION concert . I heard a buzz on my phone and I saw that it was kai . I opened the message and smiled as I read the three words , I love you.