Bae Joohyun never asks for anything twice. She's used to getting what she wants and when she wants it. Don’t get her wrong, she isn’t a at all. It’s just that people could never deny her of anything. Not with a face like that. She didn’t get to be the youngest self-made CEO of a media company by hardwork and talent alone after all. Having looks that makes other people - both men and women - nervous and terrified certainly helped.

But there is a first time for everything.

It started five nights ago when she called multiple times and sent a barrage of texts to her girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. But all her efforts have gone to waste when she got nothing in return.

And tonight is one of those nights again that she asked for something not just twice but many times.

"She's still not answering, ma'am." The female bartender says. "Maybe she changed her number already?"

"Anniyo ... she wouldn't. No ... change ..." Joohyun slurs and puts down the glass on the counter of the bar. She hikes her dress up a little and tries to reach over the bar counter for the phone but before she could, Joohyun felt a hand groping the back of her bare right leg. Joohyun pauses, jaw clenching. Her eyes on fire.

"Uh, ahjussi, I wouldn't do that if I were -" But before the bartender even finishes the warning, Joohyun turns around and roundhouse kicks the ert on the face, knocking him out on the spot. She picks up his drink and slowly spills it on his face.

"... you." The bartender finishes in awe.

Joohyun turns back around, facing the bartender. "You! Give me another one of this," she picks up the empty glass and slams it hard on the table. It almost breaks.

"But -"

"Did I stutter?" Joohyun's eyes are sharper this time, as if she's not drunk at all.

The woman immediately goes and makes the drink, leaving Joohyun sitting alone and staring at her phone. Somehow, hoping it would ring and see a certain person's caller ID.

It’s been two weeks since Joohyun and Seulgi broke up. Two weeks since the screaming and fighting and the slamming of the door. Seulgi walking out of the said door, both resigning from her art director job and Joohyun’s life. Joohyun was left empty, crying and hugging her legs on the floor. Seulgi didn’t come back the next day, or the day after or even the week after. Joohyun tried contacting her through any form of social media she knows. She went to Seulgi’s place a couple of times, even visited Seulgi’s parents and friends. But no one knows where she was. Not even Seulgi’s best friend, Seungwan, who Seulgi claimed to know everything about her. Childhood best friends and all. She doubts it though. How could they not know where Seulgi was? Maybe they were all conspiring against her.

So Joohyun is here again. Drinking her heart out to forget everything. Well, trying to forget everything and failing. Because the more she drinks, the less forgettable everything is. The more alcohol she shoves down , the clearer she sees Seulgi’s face - rosy cheeks and adorable eye smile.

“Joohyun!” she hears someone call her from behind. She turns around, disappointed who she finds. A tall woman with distractingly red hair. Sooyoung. “Ya! Don’t look so unhappy seeing me, unnie.”

“How can I not be? You’re not the one I asked to pick me up.” Joohyun rolled her eyes, pouting a little.

Sooyoung sighs and sits next to her. She stops Joohyun’s hands before drinking up another glass of vodka martini that the female bartender - Yerim, Sooyoung memorizes her name by now since it’s basically the third night she sees the younger woman serving in this bar - made for Joohyun. Sooyoung drinks it all down instead. “We’re going home now, unnie.” Sooyoung takes out her credit card and hands it to the bartender to pay all the drinks that Joohyun has drowned herself in. “Pay me back tomorrow.”

It’s been like this for five nights in a row. Joohyun gets drunk, drunk dials Seulgi, Seulgi is unreachable, Sooyoung calls her, the bartender answers and tells her the location. Sooyoung got used to this by the third night that she didn’t even have to call her anymore. She just goes wherever the nearest bars are in Joohyun’s place. And there are only two of them so it’s not that hard.

“She’s not coming back, is she?” Joohyun asks softly, looking down at her phone. Sooyoung cannot stand the sadness in her unnie’s voice but what can she do? It’s not like she hadn’t tried to cheer her up the past nights this same scenario happened.

Sooyoung sighs instead. She puts Joohyun’s arm on her shoulder to help her stand up but Joohyun removes it, “I’m fine.”

“Unnie, let me help.”

“I’m fine,” Joohyun insists. Sooyoung sees her stumble a little but she doesn’t dare touch her again. “I just want to go home.” Joohyun walks past her.

Sooyoung can’t help but sigh again and buries her face in her palm.

Yerim leans on the counter. “She’s tough, that unnie.” she says.

“Too tough sometimes.”

“Wish you could have seen when she roundhouse kicks the bastard that touched her without permission,” Yeri laughs recalling the scene. “Badass.”

Although shocked, Sooyoung can’t help but laugh too. She wouldn’t expect any less of Bae Joohyun.

“Thank you for looking after her, Yerim.”

“It’s no big deal. She makes my shifts interesting.”

“And here I thought I do that by coming here and picking her up?”

“That’s a bonus,” Yerim winks then goes back to attending to other customers.

Not long after, Sooyoung exits the bar, looking for Joohyun. She isn’t hard to find this time as she is sitting on a bench not far away, watching cars pass by. The sad look on her face still obvious even from afar. Sooyoung sits next to her. She doesn’t say anything knowing that whatever words that will come out of , it will not take Joohyun’s pain away.

So she lets the silence speak for them instead.

Cars passing by.

Faint sound of music coming from the bar.

Chattering of strangers.

Crying with convulsive catching of breath.

Sooyoung moves closer, offering her shoulder to Joohyun, to which the older woman accepts without hesitation. She buries her face on the younger woman’s shoulder, trying to hide the fact that there are tears streaming down her face. Sooyoung doesn’t move and just let Joohyun do what she needs to do. This is the first time Joohyun cries in the past two weeks, that she knows of anyway.

“I didn’t tell her enough,” Joohyun weakly says minutes later. She has already stopped crying. “I love her. I just didn’t tell her enough.” She wipes the tear that threatens to fall again. “I guess we really regret the things we didn’t do more than the things we did.”

“It’s not your fault, unnie.”

“It is,” Joohyun tells her. “It’s my fault. I knew there’s only so much she can take. I mean, who would want to be with someone who ignores you and only tries to reconnect when it’s convenient for them? I was so selfish.” Joohyun roughly runs a hand through her hair in frustration. “And I hate that I realize this now that she’s gone.”

“Maybe she just needs time,” Sooyoung replies. “If there’s one thing that can heal anything, it’s time.”

Joohyun just hopes Seulgi doesn’t take too much time.

Sooyoung walks Joohyun home two hours later. Joohyun sleeps on her couch because she’s too passed out to go to bed. She leaves an ibuprofen and a glass of water on the table for when Joohyun wakes up. Feel better, unnie, she leaves a note with it too before leaving Joohyun’s apartment.

Two months passed by just like that.

Joohyun doesn’t drink at night anymore. At least, not in bars and not with people seeing her.

She’s burying herself more and more at work to be busy and keep her mind off of things that she wants to avoid. The less sleep and rest she gets, the more ruthless she gets and her employees know it’s never a good thing. Her assistant knows it better than anyone.

The CEO barely stays at her place anymore. Most nights, she spends her time trying to sleep to the sound of the city at night. It just so happens the city does get a little peace at night and she doesn’t.

The new art director, Son Chaeyoung, is good. She has her own style that Joohyun doesn’t remind of her former art director. She proved herself useful in the last month after a series of hiring and firing wannabes before her.

A knock quickly snatches her focus from her laptop. “Miss Bae,” her assistant walks into her office with a tablet and a pen in hand. “Here’s your schedule today. Your 10am meeting with the Japanese investors is moved to 2pm. I already declined interviews and appearance invites as requested.”

“Good, thank you.” Joohyun dismisses the young girl after.

As her assistant leaves, Sooyoung walks in. She has short her now and dyed her hair black.

“How’s my favorite CEO doing?” she asks a little too cheerfully.

“I’m the only CEO here,” Joohyun sassily replies. “What do you want, Sooyoung?” She continues typing on her laptop.

“Yerim and I are going to this art show tonight to support a family friend. Maybe you want to come with us?”

“And be your third wheel? No, thanks. I’ll pass.” Joohyun leans back in her chair. “Since when are you interested in art anyway?”

“I can appreciate art even if I am not good at making them,” she replies. “Do you want me to get you a date so you’d feel comfortable? I can ask my friend, Jennie. You know her.”

“Yeah, I remember her. Although she’s very pretty, I’m still not going.”

“Nooooo!” Sooyoung sits on the CEO’s desk, trying to distract her from typing. “Please, unnie. I know you need the distraction. Who knows maybe you’ll have fun. Meet someone.” Sooyoung wiggles her eyebrows.

“You’re distracting me now. What more do you want?” Joohyun raises an eyebrow.

“Come on, unnie.”

“No.”

“Don’t make me do it.”

“Do what?”

If there’s anything Sooyoung prides herself in, it’s how she can change people’s mind with her puppy look. And that’s what she exactly does. She pouts like five-year-old that wants Christmas candies.

“Really? Does Yerim fall for that trick?” Sooyoung doesn’t respond and pouts even more. Joohyun rolls her eyes. She’s lucky she’s cute. “Okay, fine.”

“Yes!” Sooyoung hugs Joohyun. “We’ll pick you up at 7. You better not have meetings. I will drag you out of it if you do. And wear something casual maybe?” She grins before closing the door.

“I’ll wear whatever I want,” Joohyun mumbles to herself.

The meeting with the Japanese investors did not last long and Joohyun thanks the universe for that at least. She decides to call it a day at 4pm, the earliest time she left work in the past two months - no - two years.

Joohyun goes home. She’s now sitting at the couch, switching channels to channels on her flat screen TV but after a while she decides to listen to slow music instead. She remains sitting on the couch and doing breathing exercises. It’s something she forgot to do in a while - just stop and breathe for a moment.

Joohyun’s eyes are captivated by a framed sketch a while later when she finally decides to open her closet and find something casual to wear. She picks up the frame and sits on the edge of her bed.

It was an anniversary gift from her. It’s a charcoal sketch of Joohyun’s silhouette in her office balcony. Joohyun remembers her saying, “It’s not the best but I just really thought I should draw you at that moment. You looked peaceful.” And though she claimed it wasn’t her best, it still looks incredible beyond words.

Joohyun still remembers the first time her world ended. She was fifteen and it was her mentor, Taeyeon, who told her about it. “Joohyun, there was a car accident tonight. Your parents … they didn’t make it to the hospital. I’m sorry.”

But Joohyun learned through the years that her world can be crushed multiple times - repeatedly, slowly, painfully. When she picks up the pieces, she rebuilds a new world from the remains but somebody destroys it again. This time, she destroyed it herself.

Joohyun takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling again. She discards the frame after.

Two hours later, Sooyoung and Yerim knocks on her door to pick her up.

“Unnie, you look good.” Yerim tells Joohyun. “But you always look so good so that’s nothing new.”

“Thanks, Yerimie.” Joohyun smiles. “I don’t understand why you’re dating Sooyoung here instead of me.” she jokes.

But before Yerim could respond with an equally greasy line, Sooyoung hits Joohyun playfully on the arm. “Ya! Don’t hit on my girlfriend, old woman.”

“Old? Really?” Joohyun an eyebrow. “I still look better than you in any day.”

“I would disagree with you, unnie, but then I’d be wrong.” Yerim savagely says.

“I never should have invited you.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes.

“Too late to back out now.”

Joohyun, Sooyoung, and Yerim arrive at the gallery seven blocks away from Joohyun’s house. Yerim hands the security their invitations and enters the gallery. It turns out that the art show is a combination of photographs, two-dimensional and three-dimensional paintings. It is also from fifteen different artists, each with unique art to showcase tonight.

A waiter offers them a drink before they start roaming around. Sooyoung and Yerim accept the offer and both get one glass of champagne each while Joohyun gets two glasses for herself to which earned a raised eyebrow from both younger women. Joohyun ignores them and starts walking toward some photographs on display.

The art pieces on display are indeed worth being on display. Some even beyond beautiful. She particularly likes the photographic landscape of the city and even considers buying the masterpiece tonight. Until she comes up with a final decision, Joohyun just passes through a couple more photographs and moves on to the 2D paintings section.

Out of curiosity, Joohyun enters a dark room with low lighting. Inside, there are a total of 8 glow-in-the-dark paintings featured. A few people in the room are admiring each artwork, including a very amazed Joohyun.

The first painting she stares at is a silhouette of a sitting bear in a glowing galaxy-like background. Although the glow emitted by the galaxy-colored background is what would struck most people, Joohyun is much more amazed by the details put on by the artist on the silhouette.

Joohyun takes a sip of her second champagne before moving on the sixth painting on display because there are fewer people in that area. The painting shows a perfectly detailed silhouette of a woman in a messy bun, facing the city lights and buildings on a starry night. Joohyun’s eyes dart at the title of the masterpiece: Irene, 2017.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” an older woman attempts to engage Joohyun in a conversation. “The colors and everything.”

“Yeah,” Joohyun agrees. Something about the painting feels familiar. “The artist is good at making sure the details of the silhouette are accurate,” she adds.

“Did you hear the artist talk about this piece?” Joohyun shakes her head. “Oh, it was painful. The way she talked about the story behind this painting is just,” the stranger clenches her fist to her chest. “I don’t even have words.”

“Must be something personal.”

“It is,” the stranger says. “The artist said that Irene means peace in Greek. She said that every time the woman in the painting stays in the balcony of her office and just looking over the city, it reminds her of peace. The goddess of peace, Irene.”

Joohyun gulps, subtly sipping the remaining champagne from her glass.

“Too bad the woman in the painting broke her heart though.”

Joohyun clears . “Did … did the artist say anything else?”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself? Here she comes.” The older woman turns around and moves on to another artwork.

Joohyun takes a deep breath; her heart racing all of a sudden.

“Good evening,” came the artist’s greeting.

And there it goes. The voice Joohyun knows all too well.

Kang Seulgi.

Months of progress, - little progress - of trying to forget, of trying to be okay and then it all comes crashing down in one moment.

Joohyun slowly turns around. And by the look on her face, Joohyun can tell the feelings are mutual - shocked, upset, angry, happy.

The first thing Joohyun notices about Seulgi is her hair. It’s darker and longer. She has bangs now. Then her eyes shift to her pink lips. And Joohyun quickly looks back up to her eyes.

“H - hi,” they both stutter at the same time.

Joohyun purses her lips and lets Seulgi say something without interruption.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Seulgi says a few awkward seconds later. She brushes her hand on her hair a couple of times, a habit she makes every time she’s nervous.

“Sooyoung’s girlfriend has an invitation. They asked me to come with them.” Joohyun hates how she sounded so defensive.

“Oh,” Seulgi forces a smile. “Good.”

The two women stay silent for the next minutes, both of them just standing awkwardly beside each other. At some point, Joohyun grabs another glass or two from the waiter who’s roaming around and serving drinks. This is what alcohol is for, Joohyun thinks as she drinks champagne like it’s just an apple juice.

“So … painting, huh?” Joohyun says two champagne glasses and five long minutes later.

Seulgi shrugs, “Doing art is the only thing I’m good at.”

Joohyun scoffs coolly, “Have you seen yourself dance? You’re better than some professionals out there.”

“Dancing takes a lot of body effort. I don’t have the energy for it nowadays.”

“Are you saying you’re getting old?” Joohyun smirks.

“Still younger than you,” Seulgi counters with a grin.

“Unfortunately.”

Seulgi laughs.

And it takes everything in Joohyun not to move closer and wrap her arms around her right there and then.

Suddenly, Joohyun feels her chest tighten and it’s hard to breathe. She looks up, biting her lower lip hard, trying to stop the tears from falling. She hates this so much. She hates feeling vulnerable. She hates not being able to do what she wants. She hates how close she is yet so unreachable. She hates how she can’t even hold her hand anymore. She hates that she can’t even say how proud she is. She hates, hates, hates everything at this moment.

Seulgi glances at her. She knows exactly what Joohyun is trying to do. “Are you okay?”

Joohyun just nods and quickly wipes a tear from her cheek.

“Do you want to -”

“I’m sorry,” Joohyun interrupts. “I just …” She takes a deep breath but it doesn’t help. Her heart still feels like it’s about to explode in her chest. “I need to go.” She excuses herself and runs out of the room.

Joohyun is starting to finally be okay again. Not as good as before but being okay is a progress still. And now that she’s right here, right in front of her … Joohyun thinks she might be wrong after all. Because all the progress she made are out of the door as soon as her eyes laid on Kang Seulgi.

Life is cruel. Beyond cruel sometimes.

“Wait!” Seulgi runs after her.

Joohyun goes in the ladies’ room and enters a cubicle. She takes deep breaths but the only thing that came out are sobs that she’s been holding in for almost half an hour now.

“Joohyun,” Seulgi calls out while lightly knocking the cubicle door. “Are you okay? Talk to me.”

“I’m fine,” she weakly replies.

But that isn’t enough for Seulgi. She can still hear Joohyun’s erratic breathing.“Are you having a panic attack? Do you want me to get you a brown paper bag to breathe on?” Joohyun doesn’t respond. “Come on, Joohyun. Please talk to me.”

“I’m sorry, Seulgi.” Joohyun finally mutters. “For everything.”

“If you’re sorry then you need to come out and say it to my face then.”

If that’s what it takes then.

Joohyun unlocks the cubicle door and gets out.

“Are you okay?” Seulgi worries. She tries to cup her face but she quickly snatches her hands away before it even reaches her. Not the time, Seulgi thinks.

Joohyun looks at her with tired, sad eyes. Her face turned red from crying. “I’m sorry.”

“Joohyun -”

“Hear me out, please.”

And after all this time, Seulgi can’t deny her of anything. So she listens.

“I am finally being okay without you,” she begins softly with a hint of slight anger in her voice. Hands trembling in anxiety. “I was finally doing a lot better than I did when you left me and I know - I know - I have no right to blame you for anything because it’s my fault. It’s my fault. I ruined this … this beautiful thing we had.”

Joohyun wipes a tear from her face. “I hated losing so I worked hard not to lose. I built this company on my own. There are people who helped me along the way but you know better than anyone that I fought my way through to get on top and that’s why I cannot afford to lose something I own. Not again. But I got so caught up in my career. I got high with power and getting what I want. I became selfish and only thought of my ambitions alone.”

Seulgi leans against a wall, still listening.

“I hated losing but I lost you,” Joohyun continues. “And out of all the things and people I lost, losing you hurt the most. I know you understood why I am the way I am, Seul. You loved me for it at some point. And I’m so sorry that in order to get what I wanted, I caused you pain and unhappiness. I didn’t mean for you to feel neglected or forgotten or unimportant. Because you are very important to me, Kang Seulgi. You were the only one I had when I thought I had no one. And I’m so sorry for making you feel otherwise. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry …” She couldn’t help the sobs anymore. “I have to go -”

Seulgi stops her by grabbing her wrist. “Wait,” she pleads.

Joohyun stops, of course. If not for the way her hand wrapped around her wrist, then for whatever Seulgi has to say. She looks up at her face, hating how she can’t read the expression on her face. She used to be so good at reading her.

“I’m sorry too, Joohyun.” Seulgi says sincerely. She loosens her grip on Joohyun’s wrist when she saw her grimace. “I hate that I hurt you.”

“I deserve it, somehow.”

“No, you don’t. You didn’t, Hyunnie.”

Their eyes lock with each other. Joohyun doesn’t dare to break the intense and somehow soft staring contest happening between them. She misses looking into those eyes and misses seeing her beautiful face that reminds her so much of an adorable bear when she smiles.

Seulgi takes a silver necklace from her neck. It has an equally shining silver ring as a pendant. “I was supposed to give this to you that night.” She gently hands it over to Joohyun. “I was gonna ask you an important question.”

Joohyun purses her trembling lips.

“But you didn’t come. And I understand you were busy. What was I thinking dating a big company CEO anyway? But I begged you the day before and you promised you’d be there but you weren’t. You stood me up again. And I knew, in that moment, that I already lost you.” Seulgi takes a deep breath. “You can keep that. I don’t want to be reminded of that night anymore. I said some things I regret that night but what I regret the most was the thing I didn’t say.”

Joohyun fiddles with the ring. “I would have said yes.”

“No way of knowing for sure now, is there?”

And there it is. The what if.

They both hate what if's.

A sudden knock on the door interrupts them unfortunately. “Joohyun-unnie, are you there?” came Sooyoung’s voice. “Why is this comfort room locked anyway?” She knocks thrice.

“Maybe she’s in the 3D painting section. We still haven’t looked for her there.” They hear Yerim insist. “And this may be locked for a reason. Maybe there are people having in there. It’d be rude to interrupt!” she hisses but still loud enough for the two women on the other side of the door to hear. Joohyun almost chokes. Seulgi, on her defense, pretends to not hear by massaging her forehead.

“ in art gallery bathroom?! Really?” was the last thing they hear as Yerim drags Joy to the 3D painting section of the art gallery.

Joohyun exhales deeply. “Sorry for that.”

Seulgi chuckles. “This is probably not the best place to talk.”

“Definitely not the best place to talk.” Joohyun corrects.

“What about tomorrow night?”

“What about it?” Joohyun’s brows furrow.

“Can you find a time for me tomorrow night? Fit me in your busy schedule?” Seulgi smirks a little. “You know, to talk.”

Joohyun wets her bottom lip and smiles, “I’ll make time for you.”

“Are you sure? Should I not check with your assistant first?”

Joohyun rolls her eyes but she can’t help the smile on her face. “It’s a date.”

“Is it?”

Joohyun blushes. “It’s whatever you want it to be.”

Seulgi smiles that smile that reaches her eyes. “Pick you up at 8?”

“You know where to find me, Kang Seulgi.” Joohyun winks and exits the ladies’ room.

When Joohyun leaves, Seulgi suddenly panics. How she remained composed and even flirted with her ex is an eternal mystery. She quickly dials Seungwan’s number to which her best friend quickly pick up. “Seungwan-ah! I need help! Call 911! I’m dead ... I think. I don't know? I can't feel my brain!”

“What?!” came Seungwan’s confused reply. ", how are you supposed to feel your own brain?"

The next day, it’s obvious that Joohyun is in a good mood but none of the employees dare to say it out loud. She smiles a lot, something she hasn’t done much - or at all - recently. She doesn’t use her business voice in talking to her assistant.

“Miss Bae, there’s a delivery for you on the first floor. Should I ask them to bring it up?” her assistant inquires.

“What is it?”

“A painting, Miss Bae.”

Joohyun raises an eyebrow. Even though she thought of buying an artwork last night, Joohyun doesn’t remember actually buying a piece nor signing a cheque to pay for anything.

“It says it’s a gift,” her assistant supplies a minute later, seeing her confused expression.

“Bring it here then.”

The delivery arrives on the 25th floor. Joohyun signs the delivery form.

She unwraps it as soon as the delivery men left. Her eyes grow wide and jaw drops when she sees the masterpiece inside. Irene. It’s Seulgi’s most prized artwork from last night. Probably the most priced too. She touches it, feeling the texture of the art. She stares at it a little longer; admiring it now that it’s much closer than last night.

When she’s about to hang it on the wall near the balcony, Joohyun finds a note attached to the back of the painting. For the woman who broke my heart and put it back together. See you tonight. - KSG

Joohyun’s heart flutters and she wouldn’t want it any other way.