fin

under my skin (i feel your heartbeat)

Jeongyeon eyes Sana’s outfit - a jeans jacket over a short, short top barely covering her midriff and shorts revealing long, long legs - and takes a deep rag. Sana notices her gaze, raising her chin at Jeongyeon’s narrowed eyebrows, shaking her head so her hair will fall over her back.

“You here?”, she eventually asks, voice nonchalantly bland. The environment’s coldness could have transferred onto her vocal chords, but Jeongyeon knows better. It’s not the icy air outside that has turned Sana’s mimic into stone.

“Obviously”, Jeongyeon snorts, releasing the cigarette from her lips. (She wanted to ignore Sana tonight, but, like always, Sana somehow gets her to talk to her. Unsurprisingly.)

Sana sighs - extremely loud, Jeongyeon thinks, rolling her eyes in her head - and shrugs.

“See you inside, I guess”, she says, even though it sounds more like “If I meet you inside, it’ll literally ruin my night.”

Jeongyeon tries not to look after Sana as she walks through the door. It shuts behind her and Jeongyeon tosses her cigarette on the floor, putting it out with the tip of her shoe.


 

She finds out some things she didn’t want to find out.

First, Chaeyoung has a girlfriend. Jeongyeon can’t decide if she finds it very gross or very cute when she sees her and a tall, pretty girl making out on the couch.

(She needs a cigarette after that.)

Second, neither Momo nor Nayeon are anywhere near the party - maybe not even the house. She supposes she doesn’t really want to figure that one out. Could be way worse than Chaeyoung and her girlfriend, could be pictures she wouldn’t be able to erase from her brain.

Third - and most annoying -, Sana is a damn drunk. And she makes a party a party. Jeongyeon can tell from the way she happily screams with her friends and has drinks for three and keeps finding someone to talk to. (Not like she didn’t know that already, but she had managed to ignore it pretty well until this point. Even when she had liked Sana, she hadn’t been sure what to think about this side of her. It’s messy, and Jeongyeon hates a mess.)


 

Jeongyeon places her glass to her lips, but stops in her motions when she notices someone’s burning gaze on her back. Her fingers tense around her drink, but she doesn’t turn around. Rather, she makes her way through the dancing crowd to stomp upstairs (to the bedrooms, owned by the poor pig who actually hosts this party). When she closes the door behind her, the sudden silence is a cleansing to her ears.

She drops on the strange bed, putting yet another cigarette between her lips, and fiddles with the lighter.


 

In hindsight, maybe she should have taken Mina instead of Momo, she knew Momo was going to leave with Nayeon eventually. Mina is more like her. (Mina would probably suggest to leave to get McDonalds. Jeongyeon would love to eat something right now.)

She doesn’t hear the door cracking open, so when Sana suddenly stands in front of her, she almost drops the lighter.

“For ’s sake, Minatozaki”, she growls, rapidly stepping on the spot the lighter had fallen onto (just to be safe, at least she doesn’t want to burn up whosever room this is). “What are you doing here?”

Sana blinks - extraordinarily slowly. It looks like she has to use all of her strength to open her eyes again. (Jeongyeon suppresses a snort.)

“Friends told me to lay down”, she says - slurs -, “but I don’t wanna.”

“Then don’t.”


Jeongyeon stands up and opens a window, leaning against the wall. She watches Sana sitting down on the bed and lights her cigarette still hanging in corner.

“Why do you smoke?”, Sana dreamily asks, her words hanging in the air like the thick smoke coming out of Jeongyeon’s lungs.

“Why are you completely wasted at eleven o’clock?”, Jeongyeon mutters, taking another rag.

“I’m fine!”, Sana protests. Jeongyeon rolls her eyes.


 

She doesn’t know why they’re suddenly talking again - this is probably the longest conversation they’ve had since their breakup, Jeongyeon would bet her next ten cigarettes on that. (At this rate, with Sana’s eyes gleaming, she isn’t even sure Sana knows that her ex is in front of her. Maybe she mistook her for someone else.)

“Hey, Jeongie”, she suddenly says. (Well, maybe she does know that it’s Jeongyeon.)

“Don’t call me that.”

“Can you come here?”

Jeongyeon puts her cigarette out on a commode (“Sorry”, she thinks, just to feel less bad about it) and shuffles towards Sana, sitting down next to her. Sana’s thighs press against hers. She decides to ignore their proximity.


 

“What is it?”


 

Sana leans in before Jeongyeon can protest and pulls her arms around Jeongyeon’s neck, whispering into her ears, “Screw you for breaking up with me.”

Jeongyeon flinches, shaking her off. Sana somewhat smiles, a crooked smirk that seems like a grimace.

“You know why we broke up”, Jeongyeon quietly reminds her, voice hoarse. She can’t pull her gaze from Sana’s cleavage - but Sana seems to press her body onto Jeongyeon’s, anyway, so maybe- maybe she isn’t imagining this?

“It didn’t….”, Sana stares at , “work…. out…. you know that-“

Sana presses her lips onto Jeongyeon’s, and Jeongyeon’s eyes flutter shut.


 

(Thank god, finally.)


 

She missed it. Not Sana, but kissing someone who knows what she likes. Sana remembers. (She touches her in places she knows so well make Jeongyeon melt, and they do.)

“We”, she breathes, “this is- a really bad idea, Sana-“

Sana detaches her lips from Jeongyeon’s, and even though Jeongyeon is over her - she really is -, she kind of gives in when she sees Sana’s face. (She doesn’t care about the vulnerability on it, god, no.)


 

Maybe it’s dangerous to care about her ex like that.

It’s definitely dangerous to engage in another kiss, deeper and slower and hotter.

Jeongyeon would bet another pack of cigarettes that Sana Minatozaki ing her on a stranger’s bed is so, so dangerous.


 

Smoking has started to be a bad habit for Jeongyeon, and bad things are followed by more bad things, so she lights up a cigarette after Sana has fallen asleep in a bed belonging to neither of them. She inhales the smoke, wanting to feel it in her whole chest.

 

Why do you smoke?

 

Jeongyeon knows the answer (she thinks she does), but of course, Sana can’t know. Sana can’t know it was their breakup forcing Jeongyeon to find another bad habit.

(Arguing was her original bad habit, and Sana’s and her relationship surely provided.)

Jeongyeon glares at the cigarette between her fingers, putting it out.


 

Maybe she could go back to the less unhealthy habit.


 

Jeongyeon isn’t sure what she has expected, but she hasn’t entirely counted on nonchalance. Sana sees her in the hallways - and doesn’t react. No smile, no twitching of eyebrows, no sign that she knows her at all. (It drives Jeongyeon insane.)

She must have forgotten. Not surprising, given the amount of alcohol Sana had chugged before she screwed up Jeongyeon by - well - screwing her.


 

Jeongyeon lights a cigarette. (Her last one, she promises herself. It’s the third “last one” already. Hard day, she excuses herself.)

She closes her eyes. It’s cold on the girl’s restroom, but at least she has peace and doesn’t need to see Sana Minatozaki.


 

The door opens with a shriek and inside steps – who else? - Sana Minatozaki.

Jeongyeon makes a mental note to buy another packet. She’s going to need some more.


 

“Oh”, Sana says, her appearance as neutral as someone’s who just saw something as common as a tree.

(Does she really feel nothing at all?)

“Hi.”

Jeongyeon raises an eyebrow, slightly tilting her head as if to say, “what is it?”

“You haven’t quit smoking yet? You know, it makes you stink”, Sana utters, crunching her nose.

“C’mere”, Jeongyeon says, and when Sana frowns, she sighs. “I mean it, come here for a sec.”

Sana slowly walks up to her, bending down to Jeongyeon’s face (she’s sitting on the cold floor) when she gestures her to.

“What?”


 

Jeongyeon takes a deep rag and blows the smoke in Sana’s face.


 

Sana breaks out in a cough. Jeongyeon lets out a laugh, taking another rag in between two chuckles, watching Sana cough her lungs out with a grin in her face.

“I have asthma”, Sana exhales when she finally can speak again.

“You don’t”, Jeongyeon retorts, “I’ve dated you, remember?”

Sana looks taken aback, and Jeongyeon gets mad, because - she doesn’t remember. Sana seems to forget that tiny detail all of the time and Jeongyeon can’t and it just shows her that Sana is superior in this. (Sana’s let go and Jeongyeon can’t, clinging to destroying her body if she can’t destroy her soul with Sana anymore.)

“Screw you, Jeongyeon”, Sana eventually mumbles, “I don’t even know you anymore.”

Jeongyeon watches her walk back through the door, calling “Likewise, Minatozaki” after her before the door closes with a slam.


 

She lights another cigarette.

(The last one, for real.)

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starshards #1
Chapter 1: , that hurt. Alot.
xZeiki #2
Chapter 1: Yoo Jeongyeon (╥﹏╥)
yoojeongyeon_
#3
Chapter 1: what the heck is with this beautiful story. I want you to continue it but its just so gold so its better if you let it as is
Heyboiii #4
Chapter 1: This ed me up.....