Being Nichkhun’s boyfriend was absolutely nothing like Wooyoung had expected. In the time of their friendship, he’d learned so many things about the hunky foreigner, but now he was seeing the other man in quite a different light.

  He was also finding out more about the thai’s rather annoying antics as well. Like Nichkhun’s preference to fall asleep with the television on, and his inability to sleep past eight in the morning without a hangover forcing him to do so.

  Since Khun’s move back to Seoul was completely spur of the moment, just like their relationship, the man was staying with him in his apartment while they were searching for a residence of his own. Which is what they were doing at that very moment, much to Wooyoung’s dismay.

  It was too rainy and cold to be walking in and out of apartment buildings and standing in leasing offices, but Nichkhun was stubborn and Wooyoung was infuriated by the way that smile forced him to bend in whichever way the thai wanted him to.

  He didn’t even understand why Nichkhun was looking for his own place to begin with. Or maybe he did? It was utter confusion in his conflicted mind, the more he rationalized that they had been friends for a while, so it’s not like they didn’t already know each other well. But their relationship was so fresh, maybe that would be moving too fast?

  Still, the idea of actually living with a boy that was definitely more than a friend, it shook him with some giddy kind of joy to even imagine it.

  Obviously his face was giving away his thoughts, since Nichkhun, who was standing next to him while they waited for one of the elevators, nudged his arm gently. “Why are you smiling like that?”

  “Nothing.” He brushed away is feelings, hoping to dismiss them entirely.

  Too bad Nichkhun was like a freaking hound dog when it came to sniffing out secrets. “You’re hiding something from me and I wanna know!”

  The incessant way his boyfriend prodded him was irritating and adorable at the same time, to which Wooyoung responded in scoffing and folding his arms over his chest. “I’m not telling.”

  Was he being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn? Yup. Why wouldn’t he just tell Nichkhun that he wanted to live together? Because that. One thing Wooyoung had learned in his twenty-seven years on this planet, keeping his feelings to himself was usually his best bet.

  Why should Nichkhun’s endearing stare and soft smile change that?

  Fortunately for his nerves, Khun gave up on sniffing out this trail of deception, and held up the paperwork for the apartment application in his hands. “I really like this place, it’s clean and the facilities are well worth the added expense, even the location is great.”

  Wooyoung scrunched his nose and let out a hum of a ‘yeah’, stepping into the elevator once the doors finally opened and pressing the button for the ground floor.

  “You don’t like it?” Nichkhun questioned.

  “I like it.” He defended half heartedly, and this time Nichkhun didn’t let it go.

  The older male rolled his eyes and leaned against the elevator wall. “Why are you being like this? Did I do something wrong?” It was almost funny, the way Nichkhun’s confidence was so easily diminished whenever Wooyoung even so much as pouted at him.

  Wooyoung smiled, and just like that, Khun was now the one whining.

  “You’re so confusing!” His boyfriend complained as the elevator stopped and they were let out. “I need a place to stay, Woo . . . I can’t mooch off you forever.”

  “One, you’re not mooching off me, and two . . .” Wooyoung started to say how he actually felt as they walked out into the now misty street, but then Nichkhun’s large eyes were staring at him and he trailed off before looking away. “I mean . . . it’s stupid.”

  Nichkhun raised an eyebrow at him, grabbing his hands and pulling him dangerously close, too dangerous for public. “What’s stupid?”

  Panic, the same kind of terror that usually ripped through him whenever Nichkhun seemed to forget that they were two men standing in the street and holding hands with their faces so close together. Yes, that kind of public affection was definitely not something Wooyoung was used to. It usually made his stomach turn, that is, until Nichkhun would cup his cheek, like now, and look him dead in the eyes and, for a moment, Wooyoung didn’t think about the passersby and how they were surely judging the two of them. He didn’t think about anything except the warmth of his lover’s touch and the honesty in his gaze.

  But, like everything, that momentary comfort was fleeting, and Wooyoung quickly reminded himself that society was no ready to accept people like them entirely. Maybe soon, but not yet. He cleared his throat and then smacked his boyfriend’s hand away from his cheek. “You! You’re stupid and annoying.” He huffed out before turning away.

  Why couldn’t he just ask the man to live with him?

  Probably, because he knew that Nichkhun would say yes.

Taecyeon couldn’t help the excitement that rushed through him when he felt his phone buzzing in his jacket pocket as he walked towards his car once the valet had brought it to the front of his office building. Expecting it to be Junho, he was surprised at the very different name that flashed across the screen, answering immediately all the same.

  “Hey mom, how are you?”

  “Don’t waste my time with that bull, if you wanted to know how I was doing you’d call more often!” The unfeeling tone of her voice was usual, however, Taecyeon felt his face sink as he got in his car and transferred the phone over to his earpiece for driving.

  “Is everything okay?” He felt inclined to ask, more because he knew it was expected of him rather than his genuine concern for her over-dramatics.

  “Am I not allowed to call you unless it’s an emergency?”

  With a sigh, he gripped his steering wheel as he started driving, tiny raindrops rolling against the windshield before being wiped away. “I didn’t say that . . . I meant—”

  “I know what you meant, I am your mother after all.” She paused for a moment, and Taecyeon already knew that she would soon explain her true reason for calling, because there was always a reason. Usually a well calculated one. He waited the few seconds of silence before hearing her cluck her tongue. “Jeez, you’d think I was torturing you . . . Well anyways, I was just reminding you of your nephew’s birthday this weekend, I need you to come early to help put up the decorations.”

  “How could I forget?” He asked, having completely forgotten about the event, but his mother absolutely did not need to know that.

  “It would be nice if you brought a girlfriend . . .”

  There it was, that typically ambiguous comment on his marital status that he’d heard at least once in every conversation he had with her since his twenty-fifth birthday. Taec sighed, looking at the traffic light as he waited for the signal to change. He wanted to tell her right then, that her hopes of him bringing home some petite girl with bright eyes and long silky hair who could give them even more grandchildren would never be anything but a dream.

  In the back of his mind, he wondered what his life would have been like if he’d told his parents the truth long ago. “Mom, you know I’m not interested in marriage.”

  It wasn’t necessarily a lie, since he wasn’t interested in any marriage recognized by legal authorities.  “You’re not getting any younger, and if you don’t settle down soon, there won’t be anyone left.”

  “Please,” He begged her, as always. “Just . . . I’ll see you on friday.”

  “Your stubbornness is probably what’s keeping you from finding a woman.” She scoffed.

  “Bye mom, I love you~” Taecyeon cheered rather childishly, hanging up before she could continue scolding him anymore.

  He arrived in front of the excessively flashy red building only a couple of minutes earlier than he was supposed to, though Junho was already waiting outside, hands tucked into a light jacket and his hair slightly damp from the misting rain. Immediately, the slender man opened the passenger door and hopped in with a bright smile that could have dried every last drop of rain from the city.

  It had been a while since he’d seen Junho smile like that, and he knew it was because of the change in scenery. The younger clearly didn’t belong anywhere near the life of an office executive. Taecyeon couldn’t help wondering if Junho was ever meant to be in his life in the first place. He pushed that thought away the second the smaller man leaned over and kissed him with slightly cold lips.

  “Thanks for coming to get me.” Junho said to him.

  Taecyeon merely smiled at the fact that, even after living together for so long, the small man beside him still felt it necessary to thank him for something as simple as that. “You’re very welcome, dear.” He said as he put the car in drive.

  Just as he was about to press his foot on the gas pedal, he noticed a familiar looking face, almost hidden underneath an umbrella in the park across the street. The tension was obviously visible, since Junho touched his arm and he averted his gaze promptly. “Is there something wrong?”

  Shaking his head, Taecyeon looked back at that spot, to make sure he’d actually seen that person, but his back was now turned and he was talking to an auburn haired man who was sitting under a tree with a cigarette. Having no way to verify that it was the person he’d thought it was, he drove away before Junho could see. “Y-Yeah . . . I thought I saw something weird.”

  From the corner of his eye, he saw Junho staring at him, and decided to change the subject.

  “It’s my nephew’s birthday on Friday,” He said. “My whole family will be at my parent’s this weekend.”

  “I already bought a present for you, since you probably forgot.” The cheeky eye smile and he shrugged, he was never good with remembering things like that. Those little details he left to Junho.

  “I was thinking we could go together . . . as a couple.”

  It was so quick, how fast he glanced over and saw Junho’s expression change from his cocky teasing to a now wide eyed kind of disbelief. “Are you sure?” Junho was fidgety now, looking down and biting his bottom lip like a scared kid.

  “It’s long overdue.” He reasoned, his own heart fluttering at the idea of finally coming out to his parents. “And it’s got to happen sometime.”

  It was a relief to see that smile grace his lover’s lips again, that soft curve that he knew meant that Junho was truly excited.

  Reaching over and grabbing Junho’s warm hand, he drove them home with a mirroring smile playing at his lips. The thought of that person he might’ve seen in the park didn’t cross his mind again for the entire night.

It was already late when Chansung made it back to his small apartment that was little more than a single room with a kitchenette and tiny balcony. It wasn’t much, but it was home, for now. Close enough to his job that he didn’t have to walk far, his probation officer was nearby, not that he particularly cared for that.

  But if you were to ask, he’d say that the view was nice. In all honesty, though, he hated it. Not for superficial reasons, aesthetics really didn’t matter to him. The reason for his cold disdain was much darker than the faded wallpaper and the scratches on the door. It was the memories that a place like this brought him that kept him from actually spending any more time there than necessary.

  He grew up in a pace just like this. Him, his older brother and father, all crammed together like sardines in a can. He and his brother got the bed when their dad worked nights otherwise the two of them curled up on the floor, by the heater in colder months. Mom was gone since he was a baby; she wanted a better life, one that had no place for him in it. And so he was stuck there too, until his fifteenth birthday came around and he finally mustered up the courage to ask one of his school friend’s to let him stay for a few days. After that, he’d spent the remainder of high school drifting from couch to couch, sometimes in parks or a stranger’s bed during the summer.

  It was during those years that the drinking began. All those teenage parties that he couldn’t remember half of, all those encounters with random people because of his intoxication . . . as well as the one good one that he threw away because of his inability to accept any semblance of love shown to him.

  Drinking wasn’t his only addiction, but it was his most terrible one.

  He had no idea how long he’d stared at the ceiling for when his phone rang several times and then stopped. He would’ve been content with leaving it at that, but not even a minute later, it rang again, buzzing across the table in an obnoxious clatter that forced his body out of bed to make the few short steps, grabbing the device and answering it with a pleasant thrill once he recognized the number.

  “Are you supposed to be contacting your employees after hours?” Chansung teased his boss, not at all concerned with the actual reason MinJun was calling. He was calling, like some kind of guardian angel that kept his mind from reeling with darkness, and that alone was enough for Chansung.

  “Very funny,” The elder man’s voice was annoyed, as per usual, but only slightly. “If you want to make a complaint, I can direct you to the ‘kiss my ’ department in the morning.”

  Falling back into bed, his smile now wide across his face, he couldn’t help firing his newly acquired ammunition at the other by teasing ever so suggestively. “You’d enjoy that entirely too much, I promise.”

  The line went quiet for a moment. Direct hit.

  “Nasty.” MinJun’s voice cracked, and Chansung’s smirk turned devious. He could’ve sworn he heard the other shuddering over the phone. “I’m . . . uh . . . Actually calling to . . . uh . . . check on you . . .” It sounded like a question, he knew MinJun well enough to interpret his flustered mess as genuine concern. “You seemed kinda shaken up about somethin’, and . . . Ya’ know! I’m just . . . I dunno what I’m doing, actually.”

  He bit his lip once he heard that, knowing full well what the other was talking about.

  “I’m okay.” Chansung tried to make his tone of voice match the words, but it was clear that he’d failed when MinJun sighed dramatically.

  “You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want.” The other said to him, hearing more disappointment than he ever wanted to hear in MinJun’s voice. “But I’m here for ya’ . . . or whatever.”

  “Thanks, hyung . . . or whatever.”

  He didn’t want to keep secrets from MinJun, he just couldn’t bring himself to start up that conversation. He didn’t want to think about seeing Junho today, or the guy Junho was now in love with, he didn’t want to drown in his mistakes anymore. He just wanted to be free.

  “Can you sing me a song?” He asked quietly, knowing that his request would probably be turned down.

  MinJun didn’t answer at first, but after clearing his throat, that soft voice greeted him through the other end of the phone. Chansung listened closely, his tired eyelids closing softly, and let the words of the familiar song carry him away.

  ~I didn’t know it then~

      ~I must’ve been accustomed to being alone~

  ~Or I must’ve been too young~

     ~But now I have realised~

  ~I was irresponsible, breaking your heart~

     ~But you still wanted to keep me by your side~