I heard the cheers in the entire arena where we are performing a minute ago.

I watched and listened as the crowd sang our song with both our faces scintillating a tiny tears in between our eyes.

We weren't aware that our dear Carats will do a especial project dedicated to us. It was moving. We were performing ‘mansae’ but halfway through Seokmin’s part, the music stopped. At first I thought it was just a technical problem until i heard the crowd singing. 

After I settled my confusion, I began to sing along with them, mouthing the lyrics all to myself. Proud would be an understatement if i am going to describe what i am feeling now. I’m beyond happy and proud.

As I listened and sing along with thousands of fans who gathered in a small venue, flashbacks of the past seven years came running into my vision. The memories when I just started dreaming. I remember the sweats by body released from learning a dance with foreign lyrics I barely understand. The exhaustion from practicing for more than twelve hours straight. The tears i cried from being numinous about the future. The frustrations when I couldn't get the steps right. The anxiety of not making it. I remember the people who come then also go after. The sound of what ‘if’s’ and ‘can we do this and that’ echoes inside my head. I heard the doubts of the people around us. I recalled the mocking comments when we just debuted. But then, I also remembered the feeling of joy when we released our first album and getting good reviews.The jitters in our first broadcast performance. The sweet tears when we received our first music show trophy. I remember the smiles that never left the faces of the members when we announced our first concert. From performing in a small area and promoting ourselves in the parks to gather audience, to having an Asia tour and later, a world tour. From performing on the basement of the company building to touring the stages of different country. The change of ‘can we do that?’ to ‘what will we do next?’. It’s fulfilling.  

As i took a trip back to the memory lane as I hear the serene voices of thousands, my eyes couldn’t help but travel my gaze to the scattered and teary eyed members of my group and find a familiar pair of eyes, having it also locked to mine. 

Back then, i would only imagine performing in a stage where people would scream my name. But because of the person who’s eyes are staring intently into my eyes back, I get to experience things so great like this. Because of him, I am in the same stage. I only asked for a bread, but I get the whole box of extra large pizza. I only asked for a single star, but then he gave me the whole galaxy to have. I felt happy.

I flashed him a smile. A smile that do not need any words. A smile that says, I am thankful to you. I am thankful to have you in this life. And I will be forever thankful I met you.

And before i knew it, the song ended and the crowd cheered once again.

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After the Carat Land, we had a little celebration. We ate in one of our favorite restaurant near the company and drunk a little. Well, except for some who nearly passed out. Take Seungkwan and Soonyoung for example. Not too long ago, we all went back to the dorm and retreated to our perspective rooms to have some rest.it has been a long but happy day.

”Where are the others?” I asked the remaining members who are sprawled in the living room watching some movie.

I woke up later than the usual. Since the fan meeting just ended yesterday, we have a day for ourselves to rest. Then after this, we have to practice for the upcoming Carat Camp fan meeting again.

”Mingyu, Minghao and Jeonghan hyung went out while Soonyoung and Seokmin bought food” Wonwoo answered not looking up from playing in his iPad.

I scanned the room to look for a specific person but my sight caught none.

”How about Jihoon?” I asked while caressing my forehead. My head hurts a little from the hangover.

”He said he was feeling inspired so he went to his studio.” Jisoo voiced out because Wowoo shrugged to my question.

”did he not have hungover? Cause i swear my head is killing me now.” I inquired. Jihoon is a light drinker and he had 3 bottles emptied last night so it was impossible for him not to get nauseous and all.

”He said he’s fine.” Jisoo added. I thanked him before I retracted back into my room to get some clothes and shower.

”come in” I heard him say before I went in.

It was not surprising to see him lying on the couch of his small studio. He was always like this every morning after drinking. If not in the dorm, in his studio.

”Cheol. My head is breaking.” He sat down to give me some space beside him.

”I know. That’s why i brought you this.” I raised the tray that has the ramyun, water and aspirin.

”Thank you. You’re really the best.” He smiled, that kind that made his eyes go crescent.

”No. Thank you” I gave back his smile after he received the tray and began eating.

”You keep on saying thank you. Even last night. “ He said. Too busy eating to meet my fond gaze boring into him.

”Because I really am, Ji. “ I uttered soft and solemn that made him looked back at me.

”You know, I’ve always been thankful to you.” He raised a brow to me before putting aside the tray in the near table without standing.

”you’re being sappy again” he took the aspirin into his mouth and drank the water. I moved spaces closer to him and he does not mind. I held his hands that is resting in his lap.

”Do you remember back in our trainee days?” I asked.

”Which one?” He played with my fingers and he is the one who is holding my hands now.

”The one I mentioned yesterday. When it was just us and the NUEST hyungs. I remember. I was about to give up. I feel frustrated because i couldn't get the dance steps right. I always fall behind. I’ve been around for a while and you came later than me but you were so good. I always get scolded because i couldn't get the moves right. I wanted to give up that time. I wanted to quit and leave everything behind. I wanted to abandon my dream. I just wanted to leave.” Jihoon stopped playing with my hands moments ago when I started talking again. So, I grab his hands and brought it to my lips and kissed it.

”But you came to me. I remember the exact words you uttered back then. You said, ‘hyung, let us do this together’. And because of that. Because of you, I never give my dreams up. Because you came to me that day. That’s why I am thankful to you, Ji. Because of you, I chose to stay. Because of you, I was able to stand on the stage and let the world know my passion. Because of you, I get to meet the eleven kids. Because of you, my dreams are slowly coming true. I can see it better now. You’re the reason of all of it. It was all because of you.” He caress my face. I did not know I was crying until he wiped the tears streaming down my face. He caressed my face and look at me directly in the eye, his hand is lifting my face.

”Cheol. Remember when I wrote smile flower? I wrote the lyrics ‘Because we’re together, I’m able to smile and because of you, I’m able to cry. Like this, how could there be anything i cant do’? I was thinking of you that time. I may not say it often but I am really really thankful that I met you. I came to you that day because I know, all of my dreams are nothing if we are not together achieving all of it. All of it wouldn’t make any sense if one of us give up. It was because of you too. It was also because of you that I was able to write songs where you are ther main character. It was also because of you I can see my dreams, our dreams coming true. So, don’t ever think of giving up again cause if you do, I might give up too. We’ll do everything together, Cheol. You have to promise me.” I saw a glint of sparkle in his eyes too. He is also crying.

”You are aware we look like idiots here, crying, right?” I chuckled and he just laugh it off.

” But I promise. We will do this together. Until the end. ” I hold his hands that is still on my cheeks.

”I love you, Ji.” I added in a manner that was enough for the both of us to hear. He moved closer to me and kissed me on the lips. Claiming it. Pouring all of his emotions into it.

”I love you too, Cheol. Always be. ” He said in between our embrace. I kissed his temple.

Jihoon is not really a sweet type of person. But maybe it was the hangover taking over us.

Let us just say we spend the day being all sappy and cuddling in a small couch in his studio. Not that i am complaining tho.

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- AN: yeppppp. Finally i came up into something for Jicheol Week. I was really moved by the project K-Carats did in Carat Land and then I cri when Cheol mentioned about almost giving up but there is Lee Jihoon like, what the hell!!! I don’t need photocards cause that says a lot. Be it on my ship or their friendship. Sooooooo guys, I did this in such a limited time (two hours to be specific) but i hope you like it. Cause i was really emotional typing the story. Thank you.