The light from the moon shone in the windows of the van as it made its way down the freeway, intermittently washing their faces in pale white.

Behind them, Kibum and Minho slept on, Kibum’s head resting on Minho’s shoulder, and Minho’s head resting on Kibum’s. The potholes in the road made for a bumpy ride, and on any other night, they would have woken. But not tonight. Nothing short of a bomb blast would wake them tonight. They had earned this sleep.

“Jinki?”

Taemin got no response. He looked to his right and gave Jinki a gentle nudge with his elbow. “Jinki?”

Jinki pulled out his earbuds and looked at his bandmate. “What’s up, Taemin?”

“I was just thinking ...”

Jinki turned off his phone and angled himself to indicate that the man had full his attention. “Something bothering you, Taemin?”

“No, not bothering me exactly. I was just wondering ... you said you felt he was with us. At the domes.”

“Yes,” Jinki nodded.

The van slowed and the clicking of the turn signal sounded as the driver pulled onto the off-ramp.

Taemin looked down, picking absentmindedly at a snag in his nail. “I thought you didn’t believe in heaven. You and Jonghyun—you said you didn’t believe in heaven.” He looked up at Jinki. “So, how did you feel he was there? Did you change your mind?”

“Energy,” Jinki replied.

“Energy?” Taemin’s eyebrows shot up and then plummeted quickly in the centre, indicating a total lack of understanding.

Jinki chuckled. His friend really had the best facial expressions. “Energy. It’s science. Something cannot become nothing, and nothing cannot become something.” Seeing the creases in Taemin’s forehead deepen, Jinki continued. “Matter cannot be destroyed, but it can become energy. And energy can become matter, but it can’t be destroyed either.”

Taemin leaned back in his seat. “Science,” he pondered.

“Those we love don’t stop existing; they just take on another form. They manifest differently,” Jinki continued.

Taemin rubbed his face. “You’re losing me, Jinki.”

“OK, let me try again. Jonghyun didn’t come out of nowhere, and he didn’t disappear. His energy was always here, and it’s still here. It’s just that we can’t see him and feel him like we did before.”

In the backseat, Kibum shifted and his head tipped back, resulting in soft snores emanating from his throat. Minho responded to the movement, turning toward Kibum and curling himself into his friend.

“Think of it this way,” Jinki explained. “Your phone’s not on right now, but the signals that go to your phone still exist, right?” Jinki waved an arm in the air. “The car, the air, are full of signals. We just can’t see and hear them. But if you turn on your phone, the forms and colours and sounds appear. And when you turn your phone off again, the signals will seem to be gone, but you’ll know they are still there.”

Taemin nodded slowly. “So they ‘manifest’ in a form I can see and hear when my phone is on, but they’re always there, even when I can’t see and hear them.”

“Exactly!” Jinki exclaimed.

Kibum snorted behind them, so Jinki dropped his voice. “We have this idea that things can exist and not exist, but those concepts can’t be applied to reality. It would be wrong to say that because we can’t see and hear the signals, they don’t exist. We know they exist.

“It’s no different with people.” Jinki reached up to brush Taemin’s hair out of his eyes. “We can’t perceive Jonghyun the way we used to,” he said softly. “We can’t see or hear him. We can’t hold him. But Jonghyun didn’t come out of nowhere, and he hasn’t ceased to exist. He just has a different form now. He is energy. He’s all around us, all the time. And we are energy with him.”

“So at the domes ... you could feel him,” Taemin confirmed.

Jinki nodded. “I can always feel him. I could feel his presence when he was alive, whether he was with us or not. And I could feel him with us on stage at the dome concerts.” Jinki thought a moment. “I can feel him with you and me now.”

Taemin grinned. “I can too. He doesn’t understand you either,” he laughed. Jinki gave him a gentle shove.

The van sped up as it changed lanes.

“I still like to think of him in heaven,” offered Taemin.

“Sure,” said Jinki, “lots of people do. We all feel his presence in our own way. Some Shawols believe he’s now in the moon,” he said smiling, gesturing out the window.

The van slowed as it approached the home of Taemin’s family. As it came to a halt, Jinki slid open the door and sat back to make way for Taemin to step out over him. Then he climbed out too.

Taemin turned around on the sidewalk in front of his home. “You coming home with me tonight, Jinki?” Taemin asked, only half joking.

“No, I just wanted to give you this,” Jinki said, stepping toward Taemin and pulling him into a hug. “You did so well this month,” he said quietly in Taemin’s ear. “I’m proud of you.”

As they stood on the sidewalk, embracing, a cool but gentle breeze wafted around them.

“I’m proud of you too, Jinki,” Taemin said, slowly stepping back. He gave Jinki’s hand a squeeze. “I’ll see you tomorrow, huh?”

“Yep.” Jinki got back in the car.

“Say goodbye to the zombies for me,” Taemin called out, gesturing behind Jinki. Jinki laughed and slid the van door shut. He waved as the van pulled away from the curb and back onto the street.

Taemin headed up the steps to his parents’ front door. As he opened it, he paused and turned around. The moon was shining brightly, and it cast a warm glow on Taemin’s face. Taemin smiled and blew it a kiss. Then he turned and headed inside, closing the door behind him.