Sometimes, Jennie sees more than one person when she looks at Chaeyoung Park. 

At times she encounters the shy, childish Chaeng, who mostly needs someone to explain to her a less-than-wholesome joke or euphemism. This girl turns bright pink in the face and falls into thoughtful silence for a few minutes, playing with her hair and joining the conversation once more when the other three members talk about a relatively safer topic. 

Other times, Jennie sees a Chaeyoung who is a lot less uptight, who can be as much as a cute, touchy flirt and a meme-generator as Lisa. Her laughter rings and breaks through the walls of the dorm, an exact opposite of the Chaeng who covers demurely during most of their Vlives. 

Then there's the Rosé that she sees once the MV cameras roll, or once she steps foot on the stage. She moves fluidly, daringly, dangerously, and somehow still so beautifully, as if she were possessed by an entity akin to the nymphs of Greek myths. Her eyes glaze over, as if moving entirely on autopilot, as if nothing else matters except the very act of performing. 

Sometimes, Jennie sees more than one person when she looks at Chaeyoung, but every single time, she falls for all of them. 

-----

As soon as both Lisa and Jisoo decided it was time for bed, walked to their rooms and were out of earshot, Jennie reached for Chaeyoung's wrist. "Chaeng! Did you mean that?" she whispered sharply. 

Chaeyoung, who was also going to retreat to her own room, turned, startled at being pulled back and appearing to not have the faintest idea what her unnie was asking her. "Mean what, unnie?" she said in that sweet, innocent tone that knew no wrong. A tone Jennie always seemed to have a weak spot for. A tone which, at that very moment, made her want to kiss Chaeyoung right then and there because Lord knows just stealing lovelorn glances at her and lacing her fingers with the girl's the way friends do wasn't enough for her anymore–

"Jennie-unnie," Chaeyoung shook her gently, shaking away Jennie's train of thought as well. "Mean what?" 

Jennie blinked once and looked up at her, seeing her brows furrow with worry. Her eyes, on their own accord, gravitated towards Chaeyoung's lips, before she caught herself and hurriedly looked away, cheeks rapidly heating up. Just like that, all the confidence she thought she had crumbled under Chaeyoung's concerned gaze.

"Sorry, it's nothing, just had a long day," she muttered, staring intently at a miscroscopic speck of dust on the living room floor of their dorm. She let go of Chaeyoung's hand and made to shuffle past her so she could head to her room. 

It was the younger girl's turn to grab Jennie's arm. It was just like Chaeyoung to be genuinely concerned with Jennie's uncharacteristic shyness. Jennie should not have expected to get away that easily. "Unnie, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything, don't you?" 

Jennie's lips curved up into a wry smile. Yes, but not this, she thought. "I know, but it was nothing, just a stupid question. I think I'm gonna go to sleep. 'Night, Chae."

In her haste to leave, she threw off Chaeyoung's grip on her arm and almost ran to her bedroom door, leaving Chaeyoung still sitting on the couch, confused, staring after her. 

She was going to ask whether Chaeyoung meant what she said earlier that day about dating Jennie, if she were a man. Then she was going to ask her, quite brazenly, if she would like to date her for real. 

Instead, Jennie accidentally slammed the door behind her, ran a hand through her long brown hair, and chickened out for what seemed like the hundredth time since she figured out she had feelings for Chaeyoung. 

Strange, fuzzy feelings that resulted to uncalled-for fantasies of Chaeyoung saying she wants to be hers, Chaeyoung blushing profusely when Jennie breathes “Rosie" and leans in to plant a series of soft but hungry kisses to those light pink lips, Chaeyoung gasping for air as they break apart then shyly kissing her back and telling her she loves her just as much as Jennie always has... 

Well, they are called fantasies for a reason, aren't they? Jennie thought bitterly. Who am I kidding, though? She's too good for me. She deserves someone who isn't afraid to take care of her, someone who doesn't care what anyone else thinks of them being together, someone who's just as optimistic as she is, someone who's, well, not me. She shouldn't choose me. 

(Even if, during their Vlive that day, she remembered acting all smug when Chaeyoung did choose her, never mind that it was because she bribed her with kimchi fried rice.) 

There was a dull ache in her chest and she felt start to choke up at the mere thought. Raising a trembling hand to her cheek, she realized tears had been falling since she closed the door. This is seriously so cliché. She leaned against said door, shook her head and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. What are you doing to me, Chaeng?

-----

Jennie's pining for Chaeyoung was painfully obvious to all the members of Blackpink, except, of course, for the object of her affections.

It may have been for this reason that, some time ago, Jisoo created a group chat between her, Lisa and Jennie, separate from the group chat which included all four members.

Jennie's phone started vibrating incessantly as she lay on her bed that midnight, sleep unable to claim her. What do these two want now? 

lalalisa: @OnionJen unnie, just tell chaeng alreadyyyy

MC Chu: Yeah, the slamming doors are getting old Jennie

lalalisa: @MC Chu ikr. r we still on for disney movie night? 

MC Chu: I'm literally right next to you @lalalisa, why are you asking

lalalisa: don't know haha

MC Chu: We're in my room @OnionJen, wanna join? 

She couldn't help but smile wistfully. At least the Lisoo ship wasn't sinking. 

OnionJen: You should ask Chaeyoung, she loves Disney movies

OnionJen: Wait she's already there isn't she

Three typing dots appeared on both Lisa's and Jisoo's chat bubbles, and a second later, both their responses popped up. 

lalalisa: Umm no? 

MC Chu: Yes

Jennie rolled her eyes as she continued to read the next several messages. 

MC Chu: She's freaking out and asking us if she did anything wrong

MC Chu: Or if you're mad at her

lalalisa: @MC Chu unnie how r u typing so fast

MC Chu: It's a skill

lalalisa: daebak!! (This was followed  by four heart-eyes emojis, and Jennie laughed despite herself.) 

OnionJen: Tell her I'm mad at everyone, that's nothing new

MC Chu: @OnionJen And YOU tell her how you feel already, I can't stand Chae looking like a kicked Dalgommie

OnionJen: I can't 

lalalisa: unnieeeeeeee i'm pretty sure she likes you too

OnionJen: Debatable 

lalalisa: why else would she be too busy worrying about you that she didn't notice me and jisoo unnie have both been on our phones this whole time

Jennie couldn't quite get the image of a miserable Dalgom puppy, which would morph into a pouting Chaeyoung a second later, out of her mind. She took a deep breath, then released it slowly, puffing up her cheeks in the process. 

Tell Chaeyoung, she started to type, I'm going to go and talk to her–

And at that very moment she wanted nothing more than to go fling open Jisoo's bedroom door, drag Chaeyoung out and–and–

And what? 

Her thumb hovered over the Send button on her phone. She stared at the text for over a minute, two minutes, four minutes, until the screen display went black as the phone automatically locked itself.

She ended up deleting the whole thing, but she couldn't not send anything; Jisoo and Lisa had already seen that she was typing. 

OnionJen: Tell Rosé I said good night. 

-----

Jennie Kim found that she hated whatever she couldn't understand. And since she could not for the life of her grasp why it was so hard to not fall even harder for Chaeyoung, she was kept up till late most nights, feeling utterly powerless and distraught. The sleep deprivation inevitably started to present itself with dark circles under her eyes, which not even an ungodly amount of concealer could seem to hide.

Jisoo and Lisa would give her sympathetic but knowing looks from time to time, implying that the solution to Jennie's issues was right there, in the person of Chaeyoung, who (while still appearing oblivious to all the secret conversations between the three other members) never failed to check on Jennie, some days recommending various types of home remedies that may help the older girl sleep better. "We had a neighbor back in Australia who was like a grandmother to me and who knew these things," she would say, after pushing a bag of what looked like grocery store items on to Jennie's hands. 

As Chaeyoung had seemingly taken it upon herself to help get rid of Jennie's insomnia, she would barge in to her room every night since then, make sure her unnie tried at least one of the remedies she'd rattled on about, and lie down next to her until she did fall asleep. Not that Jennie was complaining, because how could she, when Chaeyoung would drape an arm over her waist, squeeze herself against her back and press her nose on to the back of Jennie's neck? Jennie would smile sadly whenever this happened, though, knowing that this was a sign Chaeyoung had already fallen asleep. Ignoring the prickling sensation on every part of her body Chaeyoung was touching. Knowing that, if she pretended to be asleep at exactly 6 in the morning, Chaeyoung would stir, slowly peel herself away from Jennie's back, and slip out the door. 

Jennie lost even more sleep over this. And a sleepless Jennie was, quite predictably, an irritable Jennie. 

"Unnie," Chaeyoung knocked softly. 9 pm on the dot. Of course. "Can I come in?" 

Jennie had her head in her hands that night, elbows propped up on her vanity as she stared up at her zombie-esque reflection on the mirror. "You'd come in regardless, Rosie," she muttered dully. 

Turning the handle, Chaeyoung entered and pouted cutely. "Hey!" but as an afterthought, added, "Yeah, I guess that's true."

Jennie laughed weakly. Even then, Chaeyoung frowned at how deathly pale and thin Jennie had become these past few weeks. 

"Jennie unnie, won't you tell me what's been bothering you?" she asked quietly, closing the door behind her. "Everyone's worried."

Jennie just shrugged. How could she tell an innocent, unsuspecting Chaeng that she herself was the cause, the effect, the problem, the resolution?

The other girl sat herself on the edge of the bed, like she always did every night she had been there. The side of the bed she slept on was starting to smell like her, Jennie mused. 

"I've been thinking about that question you were asking me, when we got home after our comeback Vlive." Jennie turned to her at this, Chaeyoung visibly wincing when her eyes met Jennie's bloodshot ones. "I still... well, I have an idea, but I'm not sure."

"Don't worry about it, Rosie–" Jennie started to say. 

"You're always saying that, unnie, but how can I not? You haven't been sleeping, you've been avoiding me so much I have to resort to coming in here just to talk to you–" 

"Rosie–" 

"You've obviously been talking to Jisoo and Lisa but not to me and I feel like you never tell me anything anymore–" 

"Chaeyoung-ah!" Jennie cut her off, the pitch of her voice rising out of exasperation. "I don't want to talk about it, okay. I just don't. It's not your problem, so stay out of it!"

She regretted it as soon as the words were out, but she let them hang in the air without taking them back. She loved Chaeyoung, but she had to do this. No, actually, she loved Chaeyoung, which is why she had to do this. 

Chaeyoung fell silent, stunned that Jennie had raised her voice at her, and pursed her lips, bowing her head. Jennie briefly wondered if this was what "a kicked Dalgommie" looked like. 

Jennie would loathe herself for what she was about to say next, but she had to drive the final nail into the coffin. She shifted her jaw and bit the inside of . "Also, I think it would be best if you stopped coming in here," she said coldly. 

She prepared herself for a teary-eyed Chaeyoung, prepared herself for when the younger girl would say "Okay unnie", or nothing at all, and walk out the door (or her life). 

She did, in fact, see tears dripping from Chaeyoung's chin to her lap, her hands balled into fists. What she was not expecting was the fire in Chaeyoung's narrowed eyes when she looked up at her. 

"You don't get to push me away and then tell me what to do," she said firmly in English, the thick accent and the resentful tone making Jennie's throat dry. 

She stood up, and as each step took her closer to Jennie, the other girl couldn't help but imagine this scene being reminiscent of a lion sauntering towards its prey.

"I'm tired of all this back-and-forth." One step. "I'm tired of you three talking behind my back." Another. "I'm tired of how different things are between us now." A step more and she would be right behind where Jennie was sitting. 

"Why don't–Why don't you do something about it then?" Jennie dared to say in English as well, her voice failing her and sounding more like a squeak than anything else. 

"I am! But you keep pushing me out, Jennie." Jennie heard a crack in Chaeyoung's voice at the end of her sentence. At that moment, it dawned on her just how much she was hurting the girl she loved, the fact causing her own heart to clench painfully, tears to form in her eyes, and finally spill down her cheeks. 

Seeing Jennie cry for the first time in a long while seemed to snap Chaeyoung out of the trance she had been in earlier. She immediately stopped her advances. "Unnie..." she made to reach out but stopped midway, like she was afraid of her touch getting rejected. "Unnie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." 

Jennie shot up from her chair, and turned around sharply so she was glaring up at the taller Chaeyoung. "Tell me what else you were going to say! Don't stop just because of–of this," she wiped her tears with the back of her hand, much like she did all those weeks ago. "Go on, tell me you hate me, you can't understand me, that you don't actually want to date me–" 

Chaeyoung was taken aback, her eyes lighting up as if the last missing piece of a puzzle was finally found. "I knew it!" She suddenly giggled, even with tears still streaking either side of her face, and Jennie thought this sight was forever going to be burned on to her memory.

Jennie, while at first surprised, started to join in on Chaeyoung's laughter. They stayed like that for a few minutes, just letting out giggles and being unable to say anything in between. 

Finally, Chaeyoung gave Jennie a gentle smile and slowly stepped closer. She raised her hand cautiously, cupped Jennie's cheek and started to wipe her tears with her thumb. "I totally meant it, unnie. I would date you, and not just for the kimchi fried rice. And..." Jennie saw a pink tint start to dust her cheeks. "Not just if you were a man."

"Really?" Jennie whispered, looking up at Chaeyoung coyly,  touching the hand that was on the side of her face. "Then... If I asked you–" 

"You don't even have to," Chaeyoung whispered back, closing the gap between them and claiming her lips with her own. 

"I love you, Jennie unnie, if that wasn't obvious already," she said between kisses. 

Forget the fantasies, Jennie later thought as she gazed at an out-of-breath Chaeyoung, perfect pink lips slightly swollen and eyes wide. 

"I'm a little annoyed that you said you'd date Jisoo instead of me, though."

"I'm sorry," Jennie laughed at the adorable pout on Chaeyoung. "I only said that because I didn't want to make it known that I'm sickeningly in love with you."

Suddenly, Jisoo's voice rang through the walls. "Hey! We can hear you making out, you know!" 

Jennie shouted back. "Stop listening, then, unnie!" 

Chaeyoung bit her lip, trying to hold back yet another blush. She took Jennie by the hand, locked their fingers together, and gently pulled her to the bed. 

It was Jennie's turn to turn pink-faced when, with lips pressed to her ear, Chaeyoung breathed huskily, "Let them listen. I want them to hear exactly how much I want you."

As Jennie was shoved on to the bed, Chaeyoung standing over her with that grin that both comforted her and flustered her at the same time, she realized that, once again, for reasons she accepted she would never understand, she could see more than one person in Chaeyoung Park.

And every single time, she would fall in love with all of them.