6/09/16, Tuesday, 10 pm (Jisoo)

Nyeong-an diary,

It has been two weeks since we moved here. Jae has already joined the light music club, Jennie, the girl I sit next to in homeroom and natural sciences, and her best friend Jinwoo are both members. Jennie has a really nice and soulful voice and Jinwoo plays the drums, judging by his first impression, I would have expected him to play the keyboard or the acoustic guitar instead.The other two members are freshman, their names are Lisa and Chaeyoung and Jennie told me that they're both really nice. Jae suggested that we all have lunch together starting tomorrow.

I feel a bit apprehensive, they probably have lunch in the cafeteria and I'm not a fan of loud and crowded places. I might just spend my break in the school library instead. Although I'm aware that I should give it a try... Jennie is really nice after all, she seems a bit fierce at first, but she is actually quite shy and cute. I actually found out she is Jae's fan, so I secretly took one of the signed photocards Jae still has in his room. She was really happy when I gave it to her, since she was too chicken to ask him for one, especially since she thought it might make things awkward between them, considering that they are in the same club. Yesterday, she got really embarrassed in homeroom, when Mr. Kwon saw me trying to balance my water bottle on my shoulder, instead of listening to his lecture. She even hid the bottle from me afterwards. The other kids probably think I'm a bit weird, but I didn't really feel like paying attention to his advice, considering that he was talking about University applications and career perspectives. After all, I don't

Maybe I should make balancing bottles on my shoulders a career? I mean, many great inventions and talents started with somebody being bored :)

 Today, Jae and the others had band practice after classes. Mr. Kwon keeps nagging me to join a club, but the only one I would be interested in is the Literature club and I feel like it would be awkward. The other members would either have to learn sign language (as if..) or I would have to constantly run around to show them my tablet, in order to communicate with several people at once.So instead I went to the school library, since I didn't feel like returning to an empty flat and I finished the playthrough of the RPG I had been playing for the last week. Once again I noticed that a lot of love stories in eastern rpgs end on a bittersweet note, it mostly ends with the lovers being separated after they confess to each other and save the world. They either move to different places or have different goals in life and thus they have to separate. Or it ends more bitter than sweet and one of the lovers dies. If the story ends bittersweet or sad, why have a love story at all? Why do people like this kind of story? It just seems strange to me that there are more bittersweet endings than happy ones. Who knows, I might just pick  the wrong games. Or maybe I'm drawn to them...
It's not like I don't understand the reasoning of the lovers, if staying together means that one of you will get hurt, if separating means you won't resent each other later on, if dying for your loved one meant that they will live on, then I would make the same choices in their stead. And yet, here I am, still secretly longing for my very own happy ending.

7/09/16, Tuesday, 1 am (Jinyoung)

I finally finished reviewing the material for next week's english exam. I didn't mean to stay up this long, but I haven't been feeling too great tonight, so cramming took longer than usual. Seems like I might get a cold.... The last two weeks have been more exciting than the whole of my fairly reputable high school career, thanks to our new transfer students. I still haven't had the courage or chance to ask Jisoo for her number, but we happened to meet in the library a couple of times, naturally completely by chance.

Who am I kidding? I have pretty much spent all the time I could there, in the hope to catch a glance of her. Jisoo still seems quite reserved with most of our classmates, unlike her brother, who has alread befriended most of the boys. She has only really spoken to Kim Jennie, a shy girl who is part of the light music club. Whenever Ihave  met her in the library, I have tried to strike up a conversation, but she has been really short with her answers. At least we seem to share a similar taste in books, so I recommended a few to her and she said she'll tell me what she thinks of them.

Today, when I came to the library I found her hidden away on a windowsill, where she was playing a game on her handheld console. I thought of greeting her, when I saw that she was crying, her pupils were blown wide and her face seemed eerily pale when illuminated by the afternoon sunlight which had been darkened by a sudden shower. I felt like I was intruding on a private moment, so I simply handed my umbrella to the librarian and asked her to give it to Jisoo when she was leaving. Naturally, I only had one umbrella on me, so I was completely soaked by the time I arrived home. I hope I won't get sick, since my schedule is pretty full. Although I think it was worth it, even if I do get sick, since it means that she won't. 

7/09/16, Tuesday, 6 am (Jaewon)

Lately I keep having the same dream and it's starting to make me feel anxious. Although the dream itself is not a scary one. I dream of a glade in the heart of the forest. There is a pond in the middle of the glade and fragrant white flowers grow around it and there is a large tree stump right next to the pond. On the stump of this once mighty tree sits a little girl, with raven hair and lilac eyes, but other than that I don't seem to be able to recall any of her features. But while the glade, as it seems so full of life, should be filled with the sound of nature and the songs of birds, the only thing that I can hear is her song.

It's a haunting song, bittersweet and melodious and her voice is the most beautiful thing I have ever listened to. It's so beautiful that it makes me wake up crying and then I'll cry even more when I realize that I can't recall the song or what her voice sounds like, once I have woken up. 
Somehow the little girl reminds me of Jisoo, but even though the memories of my early years are hazy, I still have some left and she doesn't sing in any of them. Maybe this dream is telling me to stop chasing unattainable day dreams and live in the here and now.  I might never have the lovely voice of my dream's songstress to write songs for, but the girls in the light music club have great voices too and I have a career to save, so I shouldn't let my skills grow rusty.

Kakao talk, 7/09/16

10.03 am unknown number: Is this Park Jinyoung? I asked your friend Mark for your katalk ID. This is Kim Jisoo. 

10 05 am Jinyoung: Kim Jisoo???? 

10.07 am Jinyoung: I mean... sorry. I am just surprised you asked for my katalk ID. We didn't have the chance to talk much so...

10.07 am Jisoo: This really is Kim Jisoo. I asked for your ID to thank you for the umbrella you left with the librarian yesterday. That was really kind of you. I got worried when you didn't show up for homeroom today, so I  figured you might have caught a cold. Why would you just leave your umbrella with me, when you didn't have a spare one? That was really stupid of you.

10.09 am Jinyoung: I'd rather have you say it was really kind. You don't have to feel guilty or anything, after all, it's my duty as the class representative to look after the others ;)

10.10 am Jisoo: Just make sure to bring two umbrellas from now on, if you want to be strong for others, you have to look after your own health first. After all, what would our class do without their trusty president? I would offer to cook you some soup so you'll get better faster, but considering my utter lack of talent when it comes to cooking, I think you'd be off worse after eating it.

10.15 am Jinyoung: No worries, I already feel better :)

10.17 am Jisoo: Oh? Why is that?

10.19 am Jinyoung: How could I not, after all, you called me your trusty president ;)

10.20 am Jisoo: Well, I didn't mean my president specifically; you belong to the whole class after all.

10.23 am Jinyoung: Here you go shattering all my hope; I thought this was the start of a wonderful love story.

10.25 am Jisoo: kekekeke Are you sure you stayed home because of your cold? Seems to me like you hit your head instead?

10.28 am Jinyoung: It's hard to tell, but now that you've broken my fragile heart all the other pain is numbed.

10.29 am Jisoo: I'll give you some band aid when you come back to school :)

10 31 am Jinyoung: Speaking of school isn't the break over now?

10.34 am Jisoo: It has been over for the last 10 minutes.

10.35 am Jinyoung: In that case, as your trusty class president I see it as my duty to remind you to pay attention during class and I will therefore refrain from chatting with you further.

10.36 am Jisoo: Yes, yes I'll pay attention now. I hope you feel better soon; I need somebody to recommend me more books.

10.40 am Jinyoung: I know I said I won't distract you anymore, but can I text you again some other time? I mean I know you got my number only because you felt guilty, but we could exchange book recommendations and our impressions about a certain book this way so....

10.45 am Jisoo: Sure, but only as long as you recommend me GOOD books ;)