Despite being busy with preparations for the comeback, Taeyang made it a point to stay by Hwiyoung’s side during meal times. He would prepare a small bun or something light to help fill Hwiyoung’s stomach and take him on walks after his meal to prevent him from running into the bathroom to discard everything he had just consumed.

Initially, it was difficult for Hwiyoung to stomach the food. On their after meal strolls, Hwiyoung would occasionally puke in some drain by the roadside. Despite all that, Taeyang still stayed by his side, patting his back comfortingly, preparing a bottle of water to allow him to rinse his mouth after.

Occasionally, Hwiyoung would refuse to eat and storm of away from Taeyang. However, Taeyang persistently stuck by Hwiyoung’s side, making sure he was getting better as the days passed.

One night, Taeyang slipped into their shared bedroom with a plate of fruits. “Here, have some.” The older male left the plates in front of Hwiyoung, who was attempting to study Japanese from the guidebooks.

Looking at Taeyang emotionlessly, Hwiyoung shook his head and muttered something about not being in the mood to eat.

“Come on, you’re getting better. I can tell you are. When was the last time you felt like you were going to pass out?” Taeyang urged Hwiyoung. It was true; the occasional blackout that Hwiyoung used to experience no longer happened anymore, he could even jump out of bed these days.

Staring at the plate of fruits, Hwiyoung started feeling queasy. “I-I can’t” he insisted.

Taeyang picked up a piece of apple and placed it close to Hwiyoung’s mouth, “Just one bite?” He urged the apple closer to Hwiyoung’s lips.

Hwiyoung had no idea what came upon him at that moment. He slapped Taeyang’s hand out of the way and growled: “I SAID I CAN’T GOD DAMMIT” before rushing out of the dorm.

He had no idea what he was going to do but Hwiyoung wanted some time alone. He breathed in the chilly night air, slightly regretting that he had not worn something warmer, partially blaming Taeyang for convincing him to stop wearing what he claimed as “clothes that ate him up.”

Wanting to feel better, Hwiyoung jogged off, taking a night jog to set his mind off things.

~

Meanwhile, Taeyang back at the dorm offered the plate of fruits to the rest of the members, worrying for Hwiyoung at the back of his mind.

“I saw Hwiyoung storm off earlier, did both of you get into a fight?” Dawon picked up a piece of watermelon and plopped himself beside Taeyang. The latter snapped out of his thoughts and replied monotonously, “You can say that.”

Sighing, Dawon expressed his concern. “That boy always likes to keep things to himself. When I saw the both of you hanging out more, I was glad that Hwiyoung at least has someone to spill his troubles to. But I guess some habits don’t go away that easily. It’s hard to get him to open up. I tried but he would just shut me out instantly.”

Dawon spilt out all his worries about Hwiyoung that night, Taeyang just sat there and listened, piecing everything together. It was true that Hwiyoung always kept things to himself but he didn’t know that other members worried about him as much as he did. Hearing those concerns just made Taeyang more determined to make sure that Hwiyoung changes for the better.

The conversation about Hwiyoung went on all night, it turns out Dawon has also noticed Hwiyoung’s odd behaviour and tried prying the truth from Taeyang. No matter how much Taeyang wanted to spill the beans, he had promised Hwiyoung that he would keep it a secret and he had to keep his promise like how he was going to help him become better.

Slowly, it became late and the members decided that it was time for them to head to bed, even Dawon was growing tired especially since the deep talk that Dawon and Hwiyoung had.

“Just go to bed, Hwiyoung is a grown adult, I’m sure he knows how to take care of himself.” Dawon urged Taeyang before turning in for the night as well.

Soon, Taeyang was left sitting alone in the living room, wondering when Hwiyoung would return.

~

Feeling the adrenaline running through his body, Hwiyoung stopped by a nearby park to take a breather from his run. He wasn’t exactly pissed off with Taeyang but he was slightly annoyed at how the older male would stick his nose into every of his action. Hwiyoung knows that he’s sick and all but even the sick needs their own personal space.

Yet when Hwiyoung tries to imagine his meal times without Taeyang, it feels empty, as though something is missing. Has Taeyang really become such an important part of his life? What exactly is Taeyang to him now?

Hwiyoung can’t remember the last time his vision almost failed him or the last time he was on the verge of losing consciousness. He felt so much more alive and strong these few days. Did Taeyang really result in all this?

Even when Hwiyoung felt like he’s going to throw up, Taeyang’s constant compliments helped him overcome it. Taeyang would encourage him, telling Hwiyoung how well he has been doing, that he’s getting healthier; although such words aren’t exactly the most encouraging words, to Hwiyoung, it meant a lot.

Just thinking about Taeyang made Hwiyoung feel better instantly.

Hwiyoung spent the rest of his time sitting in the park consumed by his thoughts. He wondered how he would have been if Taeyang didn’t find out about his situation. Would he be healthy enough to participate in his comeback? What would happen if someone else found out instead of Taeyang? How is he going to repay Taeyang for all the help he has provided?

~

“Goddammit, why isn’t he back yet?” Taeyang muttered under his breath as he paced up and down his room he shared with Hwiyoung. The rest of were already sound asleep with faint snoring heard in the hallways, most of it coming from Zuho’s room.

Normally at this point in time, Taeyang would be sound asleep too but tonight he’s too worried about Hwiyoung to even fall asleep.

Hwiyoung has been out for a few hours now and it’s getting quite late into the night. He can’t be that far, he didn’t bring anything along with him. Taeyang stared at Hwiyoung’s belongings on the table.

After much contemplation, Taeyang decided that he should at least head out to look for the younger male.

Once Taeyang stepped foot out of the dormitory building, a strong breeze blew past, causing Taeyang to shiver. “” Taeyang muttered under his breath as he heard low rumbles in the distant. He had to find Hwiyoung before it started to pour.

Taeyang wandered around the neighbourhood, thinking “if I was Hwiyoung where would I be”. He had already checked the company’s practice room and gym but there was no trace of Hwiyoung anywhere. Taeyang was about to return to the dorm, hoping that Hwiyoung had already returned before he did until he noticed a familiar figure sitting on one of the benches in the park.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Taeyang quickly jogged across the road.

Hwiyoung noticed a figure approaching and looked up to check who it was.

“You’re here,” Taeyang muttered breathlessly. Beads of sweat have formed on Taeyang’s forehead and his hair looked dishevelled from running around with the strong breeze. Feeling guilty, Hwiyoung tried his best to avoid all eye contact with Taeyang. He just pulled the older male to sit beside him, allowing him to catch his breath.

The both of them sat in silence, Hwiyoung playing with his fingers and Taeyang just staring off into the distance. Uncomfortable tension lingering in the air. They each had things they wanted to say but no words came out of their mouths every time they opened it.

After some time, Hwiyoung stood up and started to walk in the directions of the dorm, signalling for Taeyang to follow suit. The two of them just walked side by side in silence back to the dorm.

Hwiyoung was touched by Taeyang’s actions, but he had no idea how to express his gratitude. When their hands accidentally brushed against each other, Hwiyoung felt his breath hitch. Thanking the darkness of the night for hiding his flushed face, Hwiyoung stuffed his hands inside his pockets and picked up his pace wanting to return to the dorms as quickly as possible.

~

Back at the dorm, Hwiyoung was greeted by the dark hallways once he opened the door. Letting out a sigh of relief he didn’t know he was holding, he made his way to his room, with Taeyang trailing behind him.

Ever since Taeyang found him, the two males have not exchanged any words. The silence between them was suffocating but neither of them was making an effort to break the tension.

“Thanks for everything,” Hwiyoung muttered under his breath loud enough for Taeyang to hear before heading into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind him.

Hwiyoung slumped onto the ground, holding his head in his hands. He had no idea why he was like that but he felt different when he’s with Taeyang.

Taeyang made his heart race, stomach flutter and face flush. He would feel a surge of happiness whenever Taeyang would smile in his direction. He felt validated every time Taeyang complimented him for his recovery. Things like that are normal right?

Stop lying to yourself. You’re starting to like him. Something inside Hwiyoung fed him the truth he didn’t need to know.

Shaking all thoughts of Taeyang out of his head, Hwiyoung the shower, stepping under the shower head, feeling grateful for the warm water hitting his skin. Hwiyoung just stood there, hoping that the water would wash his thoughts away but all it did was to drown him with more.

Suddenly a gentle knock was heard, followed by a gentler voice, “You doing okay in there?” Taeyang’s voice sounded so calming yet full of concern, unleashing more butterflies in Hwiyoung’s stomach. Unable to form proper words, Hwiyoung managed to let out a soft hum, hoping that Taeyang got the message.

Hwiyoung turned the shower off and was in the midst of drying himself until another soft knock came. “Hwiyoung please say something.” Taeyang’s voice sounded more anxious this time, weighing Hwiyoung’s heart with guilt.

Getting clothed as quickly possible, Hwiyoung opened the bathroom door only to be face to face with a jittery Taeyang who almost pranced towards Hwiyoung the moment the door swung open.

Seeing that Taeyang was actually showed so much concern towards the younger boy, a warm feeling started to surge inside of Hwiyoung. Suppressing a smile, Hwiyoung pushed past Taeyang and headed towards their room without saying anything.

What was Hwiyoung supposed to tell Taeyang, should he even say anything to begin with? How is one supposed to react when someone close to you tells you that he has fallen for you? Was it supposed to go this way? Would Taeyang even accept these feelings?

Hwiyoung felt frustrated with all the unexplained feelings inside of him. Lying in bed with all these thoughts, Hwiyoung decided that maybe it would be best if he stopped hanging out with Taeyang for the time being, at least until he finds a way to get rid of his feelings for older male.

~

As Taeyang entered the room after his shower, he found Hwiyoung asleep. What he didn’t know was that Hwiyoung was pretending to be asleep so that he would not be interrogated by the older male.

The next few days were filled with learning the new choreography and working on their vocal training for the new song. Being the main dancer and the main vocal, practice was tough on Taeyang. He could not find the time to stay by Hwiyoung’s side as promised but he was the only thing on his mind. During the small breaks that they had, Taeyang would always make it a point to check up on Hwiyoung who would convince Taeyang that he was doing fine and that he should just focus on his practice.

Just as Taeyang had to work hard on his dancing and singing, Hwiyoung spent a lot of time perfecting his rap as well. Especially since he also had High School Rapper filming to participate in, he spent a lot of time rapping rap verses, memorizing his lyrics and perfecting his tone. The two of them barely had the time to hang around each other and even if they had the time, the tension between them felt awkward.

However, neither of them were willing to speak up first about it, or maybe they were just too busy to do so.

Hwiyoung was once again barely around in the dorm. When the rest of the members were preparing to watch the first episode of High School Rapper to support their dear member, Hwiyoung was not even around in the dorm. He would either be in the practice room or the gym, doing his daily work out. Even when he’s around, he would be too tired and would head to bed early to catch more rest.

The distance between Hwiyoung and Taeyang started to grow and despite sharing the same room, they could not seem to talk about the unspoken tension that was present.

Taeyang didn’t do anything to force Hwiyoung. He was just thankful that Hwiyoung was as healthy as he could get. He started eating with the members once again and the weight gain started to be more prominent. The boy was no longer skin and bones and Taeyang was glad that it was this way despite their sour relationship. All the wanted was for Hwiyoung to become better and he had accomplished his mission.

As much as he missed having Hwiyoung by his side and relying on him for help, he wanted the boy to be healthy and be able to focus on the things that he loves. Even though Taeyang can no longer be by his side.

~

As the saying goes, good things never last. Just as things started to get better, Hwiyoung found himself on a decline once again. Despite preparing heartfelt raps that allowed him to speak his mind for High School Rapper, he found himself eliminated just as things had just begun.

Despite the filming of High School Rapper had ended for Hwiyoung, that did not prevent him from locking himself in the practice studios to brush up on his rap skills. He wanted to get better, he wanted to get rid of the prejudice on idol rappers, he needed to prove that he’s more than just a pretty face.

The rest of the members tried to cheer Hwiyoung up, they tried dragging him out of the practice rooms to set his mind off practice for the time being but once they got back to the company building, Hwiyoung would go back to practising to the bone once again.  

The entire time, Taeyang had been watching Hwiyoung locking himself away in his own world once again. Taeyang blamed himself for not attempting to stay by the younger’s side, and now their relationship seems to be beyond repair. Hwiyoung has been avoiding Taeyang and he had noticed it. Hwiyoung would head to bed early, leave for practice earlier than everyone else.

Taeyang barely saw Hwiyoung around more, for lack of better words, Taeyang was slowly forgetting how Hwiyoung looked like anymore.

After a period of time of watching Hwiyoung torture himself, Taeyang could not keep it in anymore. He needed to talk to Hwiyoung, to solve their problem once and for all.

~

“Hey Hwiyoung, I think we should talk.” Taeyang entered the practice room that Hwiyoung had been spending a lot of his time in lately, in hopes of catching the younger male and his luck played out well.

Hwiyoung was in the practice room working on another new rap verse for the sake of practice. Not expecting someone to walk in on his practice, Hwiyoung let out a small yelp and quickly shut off the beat that he was using for his new rap.

“T-Taeyang hyung.” Hwiyoung fumbled with his words, not knowing what to say to the older male who he has been avoiding for the past few weeks. What was he supposed to say? He didn’t know what to do with all the different feelings he had grown for Taeyang, was he supposed to tell the truth? Wouldn’t that just chase the older male away from him? Wouldn’t it better for him to just keep his distance?

Hwiyoung sighed and sat opposite Taeyang, the two of them sitting in silence, waiting for someone to speak up first.

Staring at the ground and playing with his fingers, Hwiyoung felt his throat getting dry and his mind going blank. He had a lot of things he wanted to say to Taeyang but it was all leaving his mind at this point in time.

“Are you alright?” Taeyang finally broke the silence between them. It was an extremely vague question but it was needed to get the both of them talking to each other.

It started with Taeyang expressing his concern for Hwiyoung and about how the other members are hoping for him to take a break from practicing once in a while and spent them with the members in the dorm and it moved towards how Hwiyoung participated in High School Rapper to prove to others that he could be recognized as a rapper rather than an idol but being eliminated so early on had taken a toll on his confidence.

“I have been practising on my raps since filming ended but none of them seems good. Maybe they were right, I’m just not a good enough rapper.” Hwiyoung sighed.

Taeyang felt an ache in his heart when he heard those words from Hwiyoung. He knew all of that was not true. “Don’t say that. You are good enough, I like your raps.” Taeyang blurted out.

Words like that seem meaningless but to Hwiyoung, it was what he needed for him to feel good about himself again. Ever since his elimination, Hwiyoung’s confidence in himself has been slowly eroding but Taeyang’s words of affirmation have made him realize that his presence on High School Rapper was not everything.

“Didn’t you get plenty of praise on the show?” Taeyang pointed out. “Don’t ever think you’re not good enough, you have been doing well, I love your voice.”

Yay! A longer chapter this time around. Sorry for the long wait guys but the second chapter is finally here! I actually took really long to write this because I had a really bad writer's block and I had been busy with school stuff that interrupted me from writing this but here it is now! Also, I tend to write at like 1 am when my brain is barely functioning properly and that’s when ideas for stories come out so hopefully, my English makes sense and hopefully my proofreading in the morning does not fail me. As I said in the prologue, this story is going to end soon, aka one more chapter left, I hope you’ve enjoyed the story thus far.

Tell me what you think about this chapter and please do await the final chapter!

Love you, my lovely readers, 

Lavender <3