"On top of this ending tune
I am standing here alone
Now tell me
That it's over, let me know

I see you even when I breathe
Love blooms
like cherry blossoms
but burns and becomes ashes...

Time has reasons for happening on its own that the human mind can never decipher. I wanted to believe its because of this destiny people say, but then life could be just ing me up, again. I mean, how can she co-exist in the same world I am in, at the same time I am at it, again? Of all the time and years given to us in this lifetime, how can she re-appear in my life right at this exact moment? But... why am I so bothered? I don't even know if she remembers me. More than six years already passed between us. I'm probably just another pixie dust of forgotten memory to her. While to me she... The muse of my musics... she's here. Ah, I think I'm going crazy."

- Random scribbles while composing by Min Yoongi, 2014.

 

August 2014
 

The normally loud and busy waiting room we occupy suddenly dropped in hush at the entrance of four ladies with half-colored hairs wearing their supposedly cheer-leading uniforms. My members, especially our maknae line, were caught in state of confusion and undeniable surprise at the presence of our unexpected visitors, lady visitors to top that.

Barely a month since their official debut but surely everyone knows them. Red Velvet. Coming from one of the Big 3 entertainments labels, it's no surprised that they are heavily marketed prior to their debut. Their eye-catching appearances alone is already a definite giveaway that their agency invested a lot into providing for them a memorable first impression and grand entrance to their idol careers.
 

"Nna, dul, set... Happiness! Annyeonghaseyo! Red Velvet-imnida! We are SM Entertainment's rookie girl group. Please take a good look on us. Kamsahamnida!" They greeted us in unison before the girl with pink hair tips, Irene, if I remember her name right; started speaking alone.


 

On normal days, I'm probably the last member to feel any hint of interest and vigor into meeting a rookie group, or even just about anyone. But the way my palms uncontrollably sweat and how my heartbeat couldn't stay still even at my hardest attempt into feeling slumber indicates how this is clearly not a normal day, for me atleast. I couldn't exactly say that I'm shocked or nervous because I kind of expected this meeting to happen sooner than later. But if there's a certain name for feeling stuck between expecting and being surprised, that might identify my current state.

Suddenly, in my eyes
rain wells up
You well up...

My eyes keep on falling to that one specific petite figure in the room no matter how hard I try not to spare a look. Seeing her in front of me; grew up in the most beautiful creation I've seen, breathing perfectly, smiling brightly and is completely alive with her vibrant blue hair tips, is seeing my ghost from the past resurrecting. But I still would steal all the glances I could, for this ghost from all my yesterdays is the one who my life lives for today.
 

"Annyeonghaseyo. Naneun Red Velvet Main Vocal, Son Wendy-imnida. Nice to meet you sunbaenims. Please take good care of me and my members and look forward to us in the future." The one who caught my eyes and had it frozen to her the moment she entered the room, the girl with the blue hair tips cheerfully exclaimed and gives each person in my group a respectful glance... and for that millisecond when her eyes crossed mine, I knew for sure that I was done for. And that I'm breathing and my heart's beating once again after all these empty years. You are ing screwed, Min Yoongi.

One look from her, and I'm effortlessly transported back to the time when I was just a 12 year old boy... Back to the time where I met my first love, Son Seunghwan.