He is sleepy 
He wants to sleep
But his eyes are to afraid to so that 
Hid brain wants to sleep, his mind off to hid subconscious dreams 
His heart feels like its stabbed for a millionth time every passing moment.
His eyes are  red with exhaustion and tears. 
But he didn't react 
Nor did he cry. 
He just lies there in his bed
Staring at the ceiling
More like stare emptily at emptiness 
He wants to sleep and never wake up
When he's awake his reality breaks his heart 
When he sleeps his nightmares pains his brain
He has no place to rest 
He just wants to just go away 
He prays for those memories to go away
He prays for those moments to go away 
He prays for him to go away
He dies everyday thinking of him. 
But he is calm
Too calm

He thought they were happy because Jeno was the most happy person in the world or at least he thought he was with what he had with Renjun 
Renjun was his heart, his everything. 
Until Renjun broke it into a million piece
"Jeno...... "
"Yes?  Injun? " 
"Let's break up.... "
"Why?..... "
"Because i........ "
"What??  Why?? "
"Nevermind"
"TELL ME"
"I like someone else now"
"Okay who? "
"Mark"
"What did I ever do to you to make you do something like this?  Tell me"
"Nothing you were an amazing boyfriend I loved you so much and I don't know why and how I could do this to you Jeno"
"Loved?? "
He chuckles darkly at the remark not amused at all. There was a long silence in front of them until Renjun's phone rang and it was Mark 
"I'm going now Jeno I'm so sorry I love you" 
Then he leaves,
And Jeno's heart explodes
He clenches his palm waiting for tears to come
But  they never came 
Instead exhaustion and denial came. 

What hurts him the most us that out of all people Renjun had feelings for Mark jeno's best friend. 
Not only the heartbreak
The betrayal hurts so much
But  he stayed calm
Too calm. 
He denied this first for the firat two weeks
"Jeno wake your up live a life come on!!! " his friend jaemin tries to shake him to let  him get out of bed but no avail Donghyuck now speaks up "Listen dip! I have enough of your stubborn renjun is not the only person in the  world man up and get over it! " this triggers Jeno "No! He was maybe just pranking me or he was scared.... He wouldn't do that to me Renjun loves too much.... " Jaemin stares at his broken