“What was that?” His face just got extremely pale. Please don’t faint.

           I wipe the tears that have fallen down my cheeks before repeating my words, “I’m pregnant.” I look down at my feet as he makes no response. “I’m so sorry,” I sob as I apologize for the unplanned announcement.

           “W-w-when did you find out?” he stutters.

           “Yesterday,” I answer honestly. I can’t stop the tears. “I’m just going to let you process and wait for you in the bedroom,” I tell him as I walk away from the speechless man.

           I walk into the bedroom and close the door behind me before sitting on the bed, still wiping away the constant flow of tears. I decide that instead of just sitting around crying, I’ll try to get some sleep.

-

           I’m awakened by the sound of the door opening. I don’t open my eyes. “You’re asleep,” I hear Johnny’s voice. It sounds soft and quiet; I don’t know what I was expecting his voice to sound like but soft and quiet didn’t come to mind for some reason. “I know you’re asleep but this is kind of ideal,” he chuckles as I feel part of the mattress sink as he sits down on his side of the bed.

           What?

           “I can practice speaking to you for when you’re awake,” he continues. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted, or lack of reaction, when you told me you were pregnant. That was probably the worst way I could’ve reacted and I’m sorry. I was too shocked and that most likely made you think I was mad or upset. I’m not mad at all, not one bit. In fact, I’m excited; I can’t even describe my excitement now that your news has started to actually process and my brain has realized that this is actually happening and it’s not a crazy dream.”

           His words bring fresh tears to my eyes but I keep my back to him because he thought I was still sleeping. Is it selfish to think that I want to hear the rest of what he’ll say so I don’t ruin his moment of ‘practice’?

           “I wish you were awake right now because I don’t think I’ll be able to actually say this to you again without crying or forgetting the exact words I just said,” I hear him chuckle again. “I want to thank you Madisen. Thank you for wanting to spend the rest of your life with me and thank you for this beautiful gift,” he wraps his arms around my waist.

           I take this moment as an opportunity to turn to face Johnny. “Hi,” my voice barely above a whisper.

           “Were you crying in your sleep?” his voice is filled with concern. “You’ve been crying a lot lately,” he points out.

           “I know,” I laugh. “I’m emotional…” I laugh.

           “Just a quick question; did you hear anything I’ve said since I came in here?”

           “Yeah, I heard every word so you don’t have to repeat yourself and try to remember your exact words or try to say it without crying,” I giggle. He sighs in relief. “Thank you for not being mad,” I add.

           “Did you think I would get mad at you?” he asks me.

           “Honestly, kind of. Eryn kept telling me you wouldn’t be mad, surprised but not mad.”

           “Wait, so you told your best friend about our baby before me?” he acts offended.

           “Remember yesterday when I was throwing up all day and then I told you I cried tears of happiness because the vomiting finally stopped?” He nods. “Right before you came home was when I found out. That was also the reason for the vomiting; I thought it was food poisoning but you weren’t sick so I had a hunch and then I figured it out and I was right… Eryn was here when I found out so that’s why she knew before you.”

           “Taeyong probably knew before me too because we both know that Eryn doesn’t keep secrets from Taeyong…” he remarks.

           “I told her not to tell anyone but I’m not sure if she actually listened,” I laugh. “I’ll text her and ask.”

MADISEN:

ERYN!

           ERYN:

           WHAT?

MADISEN:

DID YOU TELL TAEYONG MY SECRET?

           ERYN:

           OF COURSE NOT… YOU STRESSED VERY MUCH THAT YOU DIDN’T WANT ME TO LMAO

MADISEN:

HAD TO MAKE SURE LOL

BTW I TOLD JOHNNY..

           ERYN:

           AND..?

MADISEN:

AFTER THE INITIAL SHOCK HE SAID HE’S EXCITED

           ERYN:

           SEE? I TOLD YOU HE WOULDN’T BE MAD

MADISEN:

DID YOU EXPECT A ‘YOU WERE RIGHT’ OR SOMETHING? LOL

           ERYN:

           MAYBE LMAO

MADISEN:

FINE… YOU WERE RIGHT

           ERYN:

           THANK YOU!

           I laugh quietly to myself as I place my phone down next to me. “Eryn says she didn’t tell Taeyong,” I tell Johnny even though he was probably reading the conversation on my phone over my shoulder the entire time.

           “I’m actually surprised at that… Eryn doesn’t keep any secrets from Taeyong, like, ever,” he emphasizes. “We should probably tell him too so Eryn doesn’t have to keep the secret,” he adds.

           “Can I be honest? If we agree to tell Taeyong so both him and Eryn know, can we keep it a secret from the general public a little bit longer?” I ask.

           “You don’t want to tell your parents yet?” the disbelief in his voice is evident.

           “I’d prefer to wait a little bit, to be honest. They just met you not that long ago and I told them we were engaged… Right now, I don’t think I should tell them that I was also pregnant when we visited them. That may be too much news in a short amount of time.”

           “You’re right. That’s a lot of big news in a short time span,” he agrees.

           “Should we invite Taeyong and Eryn out for dinner or something so we can tell him since Eryn already knows?” I laugh.

           “Sure, if you want to. We could also just invite them over for pizza or something?” Johnny suggests. I agree to the idea and Johnny steps out of the room to call Taeyong to invite them over. I take this moment alone to call and make an appointment with my doctor a couple days from now. He comes back a few minutes later, finishing their conversation. “They’re going to be here in a couple hours and pick up the pizza on their way over so I’ll order it now and say we need it ready for about seven o’clock,” Johnny tells me, almost questioning.

           I smile, “Okay.”

-

           “Thanks for picking up the pizza Taeyong,” I smile as the four of us find our seats in the living room.

           “No problem at all,” he smiles. “It was on the way anyway.”

           “Now?” Johnny suddenly whispers in my ear. I nod.

           “Best to do it now before we actually start eating. The possibility of choking is less likely right now,” I chuckle quietly.

           “Hey Taeyong, we have something to tell you,” Johnny speaks loud enough for him to hear now.

           “Sure, shoot.” I get really nervous every time this topic of conversation comes up… Will I ever get over it when Johnny and I actually tell everyone else in our lives?

           “I’m not going to sugarcoat. Madisen’s pregnant.”

           “Wow, you really didn’t sugarcoat that at all,” I sarcastically remark. “Couldn’t even lead up to it better?”

           “Are you serious?” Taeyong asks. Johnny and I both nod. “Eryn, we jinxed them,” he laughs. “Congratulations.”

           “Thanks. Kind of not planned for timing but can’t really change that now,” I shrug. “And sorry but Eryn knew before you did,” I laugh as she salutes because she already knew.

           “Why’d you tell us separately?” Taeyong asks.

           “Eryn actually knew before I did,” Johnny chuckles. “Madi found out while Eryn was here hanging out, so that’s how she found out, and then she told me earlier today actually. We’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone yet,” he adds.

           “Of course,” Eryn and Taeyong speak in unison.

           The night is filled with eating, watching movies, and continuous laughter.

-

            “So you’re just over a month along, congratulations,” my doctor speaks.

            “This still doesn’t feel real,” I speak honestly.

            “Don’t forget to book your next appointment and I’ll see you next time,” she reminds me.

            I walk out of the room and apologize to Eryn for having to wait, must have been boring just waiting outside. “Sorry you had to wait,” I apologize multiple times.

            “It’s seriously fine, I’m here for support since Johnny couldn’t come,” she laughs.

            “Yeah, he said he was busy today with re-organizing something for the wedding I think since we have to move the date.”

            “By the way, when are you due?” she asks me.

            “Best estimate is probably August or September, I’m honestly not too sure,” I laugh. “Also, I’m just going to ask you flat-out this question. Johnny and I have been talking about it the last couple of days and were wondering that if anything ever happened to us, would you and Taeyong be our child’s godparents?”

            “Yes! For sure,” she agrees excitedly.

            “Shouldn’t you talk to Taeyong before deciding for sure?” I laugh at her reaction.

            “He’d be fine with it, I’ll just tell him later that we’re godparents,” she joins me in laughter.

            “Okay, great,” I smile when I can actually stop laughing.