Another press conference was to be held before G-DRAGON’S FIRST WORLD TOUR left East Asia and traveled to The States. The paparazzi surrounding the doors before they opened were arguing amongst each other about who got to stand where when the golden boy arrived at the scene. What they didn’t know was that the golden boy was already there, watching all of them press themselves up against a barred set up just so he could get from the car to the entrance of the venue. He was sat in a car, a sleek black truck that was parked in the street less than a block away. His manager was speaking to him, coaching him and reminding him of the little things they would ask in order to make him slip up and say something he wasn’t supposed to. This was something he’s heard over and over, which is why he found himself tuning the man in and out as he spoke while his eyes lingered on their official destination.

 

“Are you listening?”

“Yes.”

“What do you say if they ask you about what you think of America?”

“I always enjoy myself while I’m there and I’m excited about visiting again.”

“Any personal questions?”

 

Jiyong frowned and tore his eyes from the commotion to look at his manager. The male was obviously older than him, wearing a fitted and professional outfit that someone of his profession should wear. His eyes were drooped and tired from work. Jiyong couldn’t blame him. “You know I know how this works.”

 

Jiyong’s manager smiled and nodded. “It’s my job to go over this.”

 

“I know,” he responded, without a smile to match. His manager was not fazed by the lack of a smile in return and signaled for the driver to pull up to the venue. Jiyong slipped on the sunglasses that he was fiddling in his hands and scooted away from the door that he would soon be stepping through.

 

There was a blank expression on his face, even passed the sunglasses, as the doors opened and the sound erupted from the people. They were already spitting questions at him, ones he couldn’t understand over the other, along with excited cheers. He stepped out of the car, glancing left and right with his covered eyes to get a glimpse of the people who would be a part of the conference. His eyes were littered with flashes of light as picture after picture was taken. He never understood why they all didn’t just take out a video camera. The nonstop flashes of light indicated he was being photographed every second he was around, with every slight head turn or hand motion he made. Anything he wore would be thoroughly analyzed whether it was from a well-known brand or a large garbage bag he got from a local market.

 

A practiced wave was given to the crowd, which they took in generously with every snap of a picture. Questions were being yelled at him, but he knew from experience to not answer or even speak at all until everything was properly situated. The journey wouldn’t be long from the car to the building but he dreaded it anyway. It looked so easy to just walk, and ignore all the noise, but it wasn’t. He had to make sure he didn’t hinder anything at all; keep that perfect image of a celebrity everywhere he went. There was no room for mistakes. One mistake could ruin it all, and he didn’t want that to happen. Quite frankly, he enjoyed being famous. He could do without acting as two different people, but otherwise it was fun. Being adored by the general public and hated by the rest of it was a thrill in many ways. It felt like a dream, completely unreal. At the same time, there was a strange familiarity about it. He couldn’t really picture his life without the glamour, whether that was a bad thing or not, he didn’t know. No one ever insulted him for being a celebrity, besides those whom he never met who disliked him purely based off the image he portrayed on camera that most everyone else seemed to enjoy. There were plenty of things he could never do that are rather simple for a regular person, like waltz into any ordinary store in his own free time without some type of guard around him. Some people were crazy, and would do anything to get close to him; literally. It made him feel good that all these women, of all different ethnicities and ages, wanted him. It also put on the pressure that he had to make sure everything he did wasn’t screwed up. He wasn’t all that worried about it like he used to be. Like he told his manager, he knew how it worked.

 

The conference dragged. He was aware that it was only supposed to last from an hour to an hour and a half, but it was only twenty minutes in and Jiyong found himself glancing at the clock more than once. He had things to do. He still needed to set up for the plane ride to America, which he was really looking forward to. Plane rides usually meant sleep. A plane ride from Korea all the way to California would take about thirteen hours. As much as he’d otherwise dread sitting in one spot for that long, if it meant he could tend to his own tired eyes then he wouldn’t trade it.

 

“Please talk to us about any changes you’re going to make to the tour while you’re in America,” a reporter ‘suggested’, though it felt like more of a demand. He looked over her features for a moment, recognizing her as a dedicated journalist to Honyap’s media-arts magazine. He couldn’t place her name, but he had seen her at other conferences of his before.

 

He understood what Honyap wanted out of the suggestion, but it took him a minute to place a proper response. He couldn’t say too much, but if he said too little than more questions would arise.  The other eager faces waiting to ask their question were staring at him. It was hard for him to even place a thought with all the bright lights flashing in his face. So, he closed his eyes. It wouldn’t matter because no one could see him with the dark shades on. Not the cameras, nor the faces in front of him. It was the reason he favored wearing the meager accessory so much. It shielded him from the sun as well as pretty much everything else. It didn’t take him too long to come up with an answer. After pursing his lips and reopening his eyes, he pulled the microphone closer to him and spoke calmly.

 

“Maybe I could learn some decent English,” he stated, and paused while some of the crowd laughed or giggled at his statement which really wasn’t that funny at all. “I haven’t decided on any major changes. I’m confident that the American crowds will appreciate all the hard work put into the tour already and that they will enjoy the music I perform as friends and fans.”

 

The question seemed to satisfy Honyap and left her to sit back and scribble down meaningless notes as the paparazzi fought for who got to ask the next question.

 

“Are you in a relationship?” the female reporter from KBC asked.

 

This one was quick to answer. “I am single.”

 

Even though her expression was as blank as his, he thought he saw the slightest hint of disappointment in her gaze before she looked down at her own clipboard. Of course she would want him to say that he was in a relationship. It wasn’t exciting enough to put down that he was single in a news article, unless they added some over exaggerated poll that had a list of questions and answers to see who was the most “qualified” to be his significant other.  Whether or not he told the truth to the press didn’t matter, as long as it didn’t cause a fuss that would bring negative controversy to him or the company he worked under.  He was seeing someone at the moment, in all truth, but no one in the room needed to know that. Just him and the only people he could trust as friends. Everyone else would use that for their own gain. It was incredible how much money someone could make off of a single rumor, no matter how ridiculous it was.

 

“Do you feel burdened by the separation of you and the members in BIGBANG?”

 

“We aren’t separated. We’re going along with our own business but we are still close and we’re working on a new album,” Jiyong replied to someone he didn’t get to see the face of.  He did miss his brothers, as he grew to call them. It was nice to have companions in things like this, even if they couldn’t openly talk until after. They could still exchange glances and give each other a break in speaking. When he was alone, more pressure was put on him. Growing up as the leader of the successful band gave him more experience in handling situations such as this, as if he wasn’t prepped up enough for it anyhow.

 

“What do you think will become of you and BIGBANG in the future?”

 

“I hope to achieve more of the goals I’ve set for myself in life. There are a lot of places I want to visit and take my family to. I also want to explore the music world and do things that I or anyone else have never done if possible.  Taking risks is an important part in creating music, because you never really know what will happen with the songs that are put out. BIGBANG’s music will evolve with our fans as well as my own. As a producer, I’d like to work with a variety of artists and explore different genres of music.”

 

By the time the conference was over, the paparazzi was hardly satisfied but at least quieted as they left the venue. Things were wrapping up and Jiyong was prepared to step into the realms of the airport where he would be greeted by another wave of fans and cameras. As he stepped behind the scenes of the conference, his manager was again close by his side.

 

“You did great.”

“Thank you for helping me.”

“It’s always a pleasure.”

 

It was true that he was incredibly happy with himself and the fact that he’d gone this far with his name. However, he felt a little off. It was bad feeling to which he couldn’t quite place a definitive source.  This was his first world tour where he was alone, as far as performances go. There would be no other spotlights(besides guest appearances) other than his; the title of the tour even says his name. Not his band’s name, not a name they came up with for a particular tour, just flat out and in plain sight: “G-DRAGON’S FIRST WORLD TOUR.” Of course he was excited beyond measure, and he couldn’t wait to see other completely different people than himself (culture and life wise) singing and dancing along with him. To meet new people, to (undoubtedly) party with a different crowd, to be interviewed and have to make sure his English was in top notch condition… It was all very stressful, but he didn’t mind it. What was this feeling of unease?

 

Jiyong’s manager sensed his discomfort. He put a supportive hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “Are you alright?”

 

Jiyong tensed up at the touch, and then relaxed. “Have you ever felt like something wasn’t going to go right?”

 

The older of the two nodded slowly and took his hand off of Jiyong’s shoulder. Jiyong frowned and was about to say something else, but his manager cut in. “It’s only natural for you to feel unsure. This is a big step.”

 

“But I’ve been to America before.”

“Not by yourself.”

“I’m not by myself.”

“You said you were nervous when you performed the first show in Seoul, right?”

“Yeah, I was.”

“And you were nervous about the ones in Japan, Thailand, and Malaysia too?”

 

Jiyong nodded, already sensing where this was going.

 

“It’s a new place. Once you get there and perform the first show, your nerves will ease.”

 

Again, he nodded. That answer didn’t feel right, but he couldn’t exactly explain this discontent, so he let it slide. Who knows? Maybe he was right, and maybe things would all ride smoothly.