As he watched the blood drip....

and drip....

It feel like all his thought were flowing out follow the blood....

Hakyeon close his eyes and let the tear running down through his cheeks.

He doesn't care anymore.

Everything is too hard.

He just want to leave everything and escape to the place where he can find some peace.

 

" Hakyeon-ah, how your exam? Are you doing good?" Hakyeon startled when his father suddenly ask him during dinner.

" Yes, i've got 3rd place." said Hakyeon with lower voice. Don't have courage to face his father.

" 3rd place? It is good." said his father and continue chewing his food. " But, after this i want you try your best to get number 1, and i want you to follow your brother's step. He always got 1st in his class."

" Alright appa, i will try my best after this." Hakyeon smiling but his smiling doesn't reach his eyes. 

" I'm home." said Taekwoon.

" Ah,you finally home. Why are you late? " ask his mother. 

"I have a meeting with the teacher. They want me to represent school for debate competition." said Taekwoon put down his school bag. " They said if i won, i might get chance to get scholarship for study medical in oversea."

" Wow,thats good. So, whats your decision? Do want to accept that offer?" ask his mother and sit beside Taekwoon.

Taekwoon shrugged his shoulder. " I don't know. I still think about it."

Hakyeon eating his food quickly as his ear listening to their conversation. He want to finish his food and back to his room. 

" Hakyeon-ah, i heard from Hongbin that you got 3rd place in your exam. You really amazing." Taekwoon smiling brightly as he grab Hakyeon shoulder.

Hakyeon smiling awkwardly at his only brother.

" Thank you." said Hakyeon slowly. Taekwoon grinning at Hakyeon as he reach his dinner.

 

Hakyeon throw his body on his bed. His father word's keep lingering inside his mind.

' Why everyone want me to became like Taekwoon hyung? I'm not him. I'm Cha Hakyeon. And i can't be like him.'

Slowly Hakyeon open his drawer and put out something shining.

A razor blade.

' But i'm not like you.' 

' Everyone in the school know me as Taekwoon's brother.'

One cut.

' They want to be friend with me because i'm Taekwoon's brother.'

" Hey, you Taekwoon's brother right? Lets hang out together sometimes."

"It must be cool to have brother like that huh? Can you bring Taekwoon with you?"

" Hakyeon-ah, can you tell me what Taekwoon's favourite? I want to give a present for his birthday."

Second cut.

' Even my crush like you. She never liked me in the first place. She accept me as her boyfriend because she want to get closer with you.'

" I'm sorry, but i don't think i can go futher with our relationship."

" What do you mean?"

" Alright, i will tell you something Hakyeon-ah, i accept your confession because you Taekwoon's brother, and i thought that if i get closer with you,i will know more about Taekwoon."

" But, i feel to have boyfriend like you. People keep gossiping us. And you always talk about yourself and its kinda annoying." 

" But-" " We are over."

 

Third cut.

' They also bullying me because i'm your brother."

" Your existence  bring nothing."

" I wonder how Taekwoon have a brother like you? Stupid ,ugly and weird."

" Hey,you Taekwoon's brother right? Your brother always make me and my friend get caught by teacher for smoking and skipping class. Maybe you can help us by reduce our angrier toward him. Hold him"  

One punch,two punch and after fifth punch, Hakyeon feel nothing. He lost his conscious. 

" Weak!"

 

' I'm tired.'

 

Slowly, Hakyeon take his step toward the balcony from his room. Hakyeon let the the breeze hit his body as their liking. The strong wind make his fridge waving calmly.

He open his arm and feel the breeze. The blood in his arm did not stop flowing.

Hakyeon close his eyes and take a deep breath. 

After a few second he open his eyes. A tear suddenly formed in his eyes.

'Maybe i shouldn't exist in this world.'

Today,Hakyeon finally reach his limit.

..........................

With a heavystep, Taekwoon open his brother room. He sat on Hakyeon's chair and put down his head on the table. 

' Hakyeon-ah, why are you doing this?'

' Why did you kill yourself?'

' Why are leaving us.'

' Don't you love us? '

Taekwoon wipe his tear and open Hakyeon's drawer. He saw a few razor blade inside the drawer. Taekwoon want to reach the razor blade when he saw a book that look like an album.

Curious, he open the album. The album full of his picture with their parent. Mostly the picture of him holding a trophy.

Taekwoon keep look at the album when something fall over from the album. Taekwoon bend his body to take the letter.

Feel uneasy, he open the letter.

' To appa and omma.

I'm sorry i couldn't be a good son to both of you. I know you love me, but, don't worry, although i'm already gone, i'll watch you from up there.

Thank you for have me as your son and love me even though i always embrassing you guys. I love you <3

To my brother, Taekwoon.

i'm sorry i can't be like you. Its impossible for me because i'm stupid. I'll never standing same level as you. All of my frie-wait i don't even have a friend. Hahaha, silly me. All my classmate really respect you and they always ask me about you.

To be honest, although its kinda annoying, but i really proud to have you as my brother. I love you... So much...

Thank you for always loving me as your brother.

and lastly, 

 

' Dear me, Cha Hakyeon.

You always lying to your family, you said you was okay, but truthfully you are not okay.  

But don't worry, after this you'll never had to lie again. Everything will be fine.

After this, you don't have to cut yourself. No more blood running down through your arm. 

No more tear. You don't have to hold your tear anymore. You don't need to bit your lips everytime people talk about you. 

You are free after this. You will never be burden to your family. 

Nobody will talk badly about your family after this. 

Thank you for keep holding until now.

You're doing good. You doing good Cha Hakyeon.

Taekwoon bit his nail as he read Hakyeon's letter. Without he realize, his tear start forming in his eyes. 

He feel like his heart going to explode after he read Hakyeon last word.

'But, i'm still want to live. Someone please help me. I want to live like other people too.'

Taekwoon feel like his world spinning around him. He fall down while holding the letter to his chest. He feel hurt at his chest. He sobbing in silent. 

' I doesn't know you're suffering this much.'

' I'm sorry Hakyeon-ah.'

If only he have some talk with Hakyeon.

If only he realize Hakyeon always change topic when he ask about his school.

If only he realize Hakyeon always wear long sleeved shirt even when its summer.

If only he realize Hakyeon smile never reach his eyes.

If only he can turn back time...