“Yah Cha Soojin! Have you gone out of your mind? Our parents will kick you out like they did with me!” his words always resonated whenever I had time to space out and remember that specific day, the memories rushing like crazy and playing out like a movie in my mind. His voice and the sight of him looking extremely worried still vivid in my mind.

“I will make it big and then return to our home, just like you did” yet my stubbornness and determination always being present and making me decide that all that I ever wanted was worth it, every single thing, even when I hesitated, even when I wanted to turn back time for a little while. It was still worth it.

“Not because you are the oldest means that you get to be forgiven and I won’t” It was tough, it had always been difficult to even try to go against what I was told to do but this would define my future and I was in no way going to just give up. Not after having my brother as an example that you could actually achieve what you wanted, even when having to go against all the odds.

“Cha Soojin! Think it twice before you enroll at that University”

“I’ve made up my mind oppa”

It’s always replaying in my mind, that day, it always does; maybe to remind that all I do and the situations I’m in are because of deciding to leave home that day, all the comfort from home. Starting to learn how to look out for myself, how to produce money in order to pay all my bills every month,  from common ways to the not so common ones. Not that I have another choice, after all moment I left my house all my credit cards got blocked, and most of the money from my bank account was taken from me as punishment.

It all was due to wanting to choose the same thing as my brother and do that for a living too. But I wasn't met with words of approval and life didn't really seem to want to approve it either.

I could hear the door opening from this café I work at as a part time job, the nicest part time job out of the ones I do. It was a somewhat sunny day, around midday, that day I didn't have classes in the morning so it was alright for me to work. The scent of freshly brewed coffee made for the place to give out a warm cozy feeling, alongside the vintage style of the wine colored sofas and dark brown coffee tables. It was in fact the nicest place I could be at.

“Hello and welcome to—“ not. It currently wasn't so nice “Jaehwan, what are you doing here today?” I inquired as I saw my best friend Lee Jaehwan standing right in front of the bar while his arms were crossed over his black leather jacket, his brown bangs shimmered brightly  due to the sunlight making its way inside the place and I could see that smile on his face that gave away he was going to start being cheesy with me.

“Came to visit the cutest girl I have ever seen in my entire life” he happily said as he quickly took a seat and place his head on his hands as he rested his elbows on the wooden surface.

“No, seriously, what are you doing here?” I asked again. Not like it was unusual to see him in this place but the time was what was off, especially knowing his classes were about to start at any moment.

“Came to have coffee prepared by fluffiness and cuteness made waitress” I sighed in defeat, he was going to continue playing around at least for a while. Jaehwan was my best friend and I was able to trust him a lot even if at times my own personality seemed like I just wanted him gone even if that wasn't true most of the time. I decided to do my job and take his order though, or else I would start cringing at his comments at any moment.

“What would you like to have today?” I tried to say in my most professional tone.

“There we go! The usual!” he beamed. He would always order coffee mixed with chocolate to soften the bitterness. In this café, most people ordered expressos on the mornings and bubble tea at middays yet Jaehwan was a special case.

“Alright, your order will be ready soon” I said as I went to place his order and waited for his drink to be prepared so I could take it to him. It was quick luckily,  since almost no one was around at the time and I didn't really want to keep my friend waiting, before going to his seat I took some pepero sticks and marshmallows and placed them on the dish the cup was resting at as a treat to him.

When he saw me doing that he suddenly said, "You in a good mood?! You are treating me so nicely today"

I raised my eyebrow at him, "Yeah you get special treatment I guess, plus I'm sure no one will be mad because of those extras I added"

"Because I'm cute"

"Yeah because you are obnoxiously cute now enjoy your chocolate coffee" I placed his order in front of him and right when I was about to leave so he could drink his beverage he suddenly made me stop walking by placing a hand on my arm.

"What did I say about touching me Jaehwan?!"

He had a serious gaze moment I turned around and looked deeply into my eyes.

“Your brother insisted on me telling him about your whereabouts earlier this morning” he suddenly stated. I remained silent for some minutes, it was usual that my brother would try to reach out to me by contacting Jaehwan. I really didn't want him to know where I lived so I had been begging Jaehwan to please not let out that information. He couldn't find me, he just really couldn't. It would be for the worst.

“Once again? He can insist so much…” I sighed as I looked down to the bar and fixed my eyes on the recently served cup of coffee.

“Yeah he practically begged me to tell him where you were living currently, I told him he could drop by college and ask you himself yet he refused to” Right. He wouldn't have it in him to come to see me at college or actually even face me yet he would still insist to know where I was,  what i was doing,  who I was living with and every bit of information he could.

“Of course he would” I sarcastically said knowing there was no chance of that happening,“oppa knows really well that even if he did that I would still hide from him”

“You really aren’t planning to go back, right?” Jaehwan asked me with a tone filled with a bit of concern.

“No, not until I graduate—anything else with your coffee Jaehwan oppa?”

“That’s soooo cuuute when you call me oppa—now say it smiling” he changed his tone to a very cute one, I internally felt like he was doing this just to get at me, I could see it in his eyes.

“No”

“I’m a customer here today”

“Still, no” I was saying but then suddenly Jaehwan started patting my head like I was his pet or something similar, I started to get annoyed as he did so “don’t touch me Jaehwan!” I exclaimed.

He laughed as he let go of me and started drinking his coffee and eating the sweet things I had added next to it. I was pacing around wondering if I was going to be able to ignore my brother for all the years to come,  but my mind was really made up and I couldn't turn back now.

“Letter from hyung to his dearest Soojin and some money to help you out for the month” Jaehwan suddenly said as he took out an envelope from his leather jacket it and place it carefully on the table.

“I don’t think it would be okay to…” I slowly said, I really didn't want to depend on him, didn't want him to think I needed help despite the fact I did.

“Don’t be so mean to Hakyeon-hyung, Soojin-ah. Accept it like the letters before this one” I pouted before taking the envelope from Jaehwan's hands and quickly stuffing it in my purse.

“See you around at college," Jaehwan said as he stood up from his seat and placed his hands on the bar and his gaze on me,"Hope you start thinking about letting hyung know where you live—after all you are having it tough even with the money he sends you every month”

He was right, living on my own wasn't the easiest thing to do in this world with all the bills to pay,  thinks to buy and transport fees to pay on the daily.

“I…will think about it, but I can’t really let him find me” I said to him, accompanying my statement with a sigh.

“Don’t be like that”

“It’s for his own good”

That's what I told myself,  that if I wasn't seeing my brother was for his own good,  and it was. I didn't want anyone to know he had a sister like me and I didn't want to taint his road to stardom in any way. It was all for the better that no one knew that almost-about-to-debut Cha Hakyeon had a sister like Cha Soojin that left their well-off parents house in order to pursue her dreams,  just like her brother did before her.

Jaehwan left and went back to class most likely. I stayed at my part time job some hours more until my shift was officially done and I was able to finally get ready to go back to college. The clock hit 4.00 pm and I was picking up my backpack and my purse when my co worker,  the girl at the cashier talked to me.

“Going back to college Soojin-ssi?” she asked me.

“Yeah! And then I…have another part time work later on”

“You really are something else, being on a dance major and working two part time jobs” she stated. 'Something else' as though what I was doing was either grand or worthy of compliments,“You are admirable seriously” she added.

“Oh come on…”

I knew well that I didn't deserve tho