College applications should be free of charge. What, with all the hell one must put himself through just to complete it -with a few extra impressive specs that might not have been extremely necessary- and make it look as best as a stressed high school senior can come up with amid his final few months of preparatory torture. What did universities need three recommendation letters for?! And why would it matter what his standardized testing scores from sixth grade were?? The least the universities could do for their incoming students is waive the fee of applying to get in. It should be enough that the student is even interested in said school in the first place.

Changbin sighed heavily as he crossed another name off his list of possible mentors he could ask a favor from. He managed to obtain two of the three required letters of recommendation over the course of couple weeks without much trouble, but as his luck would have it, getting a third would not come so easily.

He cursed Minho for having it easier when his applications had come around last year. The dancer only needed one letter for his application into the Dance & Theatre department, a branch off the general Music department in which Changbin was applying to…

TO: Minho-hyungie

9:57PM
○ Hyuuuuuuuuuuung. Help.

 Changbin clicked open his YouTube app and scrolled through his uploaded videos. It was satisfying to see the view ratings going up steadily each time he checked them, but discouraging at the same time when he noticed there weren’t any new comment notifications. He wouldn’t mind if it was hate comments at this point, he just needed some sort of acknowledgement from the general public! His friends and fellow classmates’ opinions didn’t count to him, there was too much of a bias behind them no matter how much they reassured him it went unbiased. Changbin didn’t dare share his videos with family members, either.

While his parents were active supporters in his music studies, they had no idea about his independent rapper identity: Spear B.

It was a name he came up with while he and two close friends were toying around with the idea of making themselves into a self-produced rap/singing trio. And while he has agreed that the name might not roll off the tongue as easily as J.one, Changbin would argue to his grave that Spear B was thousands of times better than CB97.

Changbin nearly jumped when his phone chimed three times in a row from where it sat on his work desk. The first two were text notifications, likely replies from Minho, while the third was a special notification tone he set months ago so that none of his YouTube notifications would go unnoticed or ignored.

His fingers itched to check the last notification, but he knew he needed to get help from Minho before anything else. He tapped along the surface of his desk with his free hand and unlocked his phone screen with the other. His interactive home screen wallpaper taunted him, a swirling galaxy made up of billions of tiny stars served as nothing more than a distraction for Changbin. And he reminded himself, once again, to change it once he answered Minho’s messages.

FROM: Minho-hyungie

9:59PM
○ with what, my child?
○ i have a headache. pity me. :(

Changbin smiled at Minho’s silliness, but played along nonetheless.

TO: Minho-hyungie

10:01PM
○ aww, poor hyung /: have you taken medicine for it?
○ make sure to drink plenty of water, too.
○ this poor child needs guidance.

Minho responded, unsurprisingly, with a selfie of himself using a half empty water bottle as a pillow with a bottle of pain relievers on his bedside table in the shot, too.

Changbin’s soft smile faded into a frown at the sight. Minho looked exhausted. He had eye bags deeper than Changbin had ever seen on his hyung, and fresh sweat still shone around his temples. He figured the dancer must have just finished dance practice for the day and only just gotten back into his dormitory.

FROM: Minho-hyungie

10:03PM
○ this hyung needs a nap. ;;
○ just kidding. what’s up buttercup
○ i chugged like a liter of water at practice. i’m just sleepy is all.

TO: Minho-hyungie

10:05PM
 ○ i don’t want to keep you from getting enough sleep.

Changbin smacked his head against the top of his desk. Of course, Minho would be exhausted! He’s probably drowning in his studies for final exams in his academic classes while also gearing up for dance juries. How insensitive of him to bother the poor boy in the middle of his own personal hell!

FROM: Minho-hyungie

10:06PM
○ no really it’s okay. what’s wrong?

Changbin whined to himself and glared at the application in front of him, but he knew it would be better to get this out of the way now while he had Minho’s attention rather than distracting him further later on when the dancer really wouldn’t be able to afford it. He messaged the older back as quick as possible, forgoing the complaints about how much easier his application was a year prior. The faster they finished their conversation, the better.

FROM: Minho-hyungie

10:10PM
○ have you asked chan-hyung?
○ you know he wrote one of mine right?
○ he just sent one to one of his friends from australia, too.
10:11PM
○ HEY DID YOU KNOW HE HAS A FRIEND TRANSFERING HERE
○ FR O M A U S T R A  LI A

TO: Minho-hyungie

10:13PM
○ WHY DIDN’T YOU MENTION CHAN-HYUJNNNGJFAWIEWJOWE
○ do you think he’ll mind? isn’t he crazy busy with school, too?

He knew Chan wouldn’t mind writing a letter for him at all, but he didn’t want to be a bother to him. On the other hand, he needed another letter for the application deadline. Changbin was kicking himself for not filling out the application sooner, but he was busy, too. From college entrance exams, dance lessons, a part time job, and putting out content for his channel... who could blame him for leaving the application at the back of his brain?

“Changbin-ah~” His mom called from somewhere in the house, “Your uniform is ironed for tomorrow, but I need to know if you want cafeteria lunch tomorrow or if I should make one for you to bring?”

He frowned at the time on his phone screen, it was already late, his mom should be resting, not making him food.

“I’ll just eat cafeteria lunch, mom! You should rest.” He got up to stand in the door frame as his mother paused by his room with his uniform on a hanger. Her smile was full of love and warmth, something he would miss endlessly once he moved into his dormitory later in the year, that is, assuming his application would go through on time and he’d be accepted into the University... Regardless, he made a mental note to visit his parents as often as possible no matter what.

Changbin’s mom brushed past him to hang the pristine uniform on the door frame to his closet, making sure to smooth out any wrinkles it might have acquired on the journey from the laundry room to his bedroom. She hummed in satisfaction and turned to give her son a look.

“Get some good rest, my son,” Her eyes were crescents as she spoke sweetly with an underlying warning, “Make sure you don’t buy lots of junk food. Make good nutritional choices, okay?”

“I know, I know, don’t worry. Our school doesn’t know the meaning of good food, remember?”

His mother gave and incredulous look before playfully shoving Changbin away. “Are you saying my nutritious food isn’t good?!”

“Noooo,” he argued sweetly. “Only you can master the perfect balance of nutritional and delicious food, mom. You know that!” He circled his arms around her once more and hugged his mother tightly.

“Aigoo, now you’re just trying to flatter me, you know that won’t get you very far.”

“But it will get me delicious and nutritious food from my loving mother almost every day!”

His mother’s laugh filled the room, and probably the rest of the house. Changbin loved the sound, even more when his father’s booming belly laugh was in the mix. He would reminisce about his childhood; memories of his parents and elder sister having family movie nights, game nights, summer vacations were filled with the beautiful laughter. Memories he would treasure for his entire-- *PING*

Changbin tore away from his memories and his mother’s laughing ceased at his phone chiming, signaling multiple notifications coming in, one after another. He counted the noise at least seven chimes, but it could have been more as some sounded slightly doubled.

“I’ve never heard that notification tone before, did you change it?” The phone chimed a couple more times while Changbin stood frozen and stared at the device with an incredulous look.

“Yeah,” he lied, nodding slowly before he looked back at his mom. “I changed Minho-hyung’s to a different tone so I would know it was him messaging me. We’ve been chatting a lot about college recently.”

He smiled at her dumbly and relaxed when she returned the smile with the same feeling of love and warmth she arrived with. “Ah, okay.” She caressed his cheek for a moment and added, “Don’t stress yourself over college applications, okay? My sweet son deserves nothing but pleasant experiences and a worry-less life.”

“Mooooooom,” He whined through his smile. Changbin always became emotional when his mother would talk like he hung the moon in the sky. “You’re going to ruin my dark reputation if you keep on like that, you know.”

They both burst into a fit of giggles and bid each other good night after sharing a hug.

Changbin almost tripped over his own two feet on his way back to his desk. He had totally forgotten all about getting the same notification earlier when he was talking with Minho- ah… he should probably check the messages Minho left him first, but:

○  LeeLix00 has left a comment on one of your uploaded videos. (5)
○  LeeLix00 has left a ‘Like’ on one of your uploaded videos. (13)

He stared in complete awe at the condensed notifications displayed across his lock screen.

Someone had watched his videos. All thirteen of them by the looks of the ‘Like’ notifications, and actually left feedback.

He yanked the charging cord out from the bottom of the device and flopped onto his bed. The bed frame creaked angrily against the sudden impact, but Changbin paid it no mind because he had a new comment! He had multiple new comments! He could barely contain himself as he clicked on the first comment notification; it was left on one of his oldest videos from over two years ago. He had recorded the piece on some microphone application in his phone and uploaded it with a plain black background to some generic font that displayed the title across the screen.

Changbin had always tossed around the idea of uploading a video of himself performing the raps he’d written. Viewers/listeners being able to put a face to the name would possibly help bring in views and feedback, but there were too many ‘what if’s that came into play. The biggest being, what if his parents found out? He would like to share his passion with them one day in hopes of their support, but he would make do with keeping everything under his stage name, for now.

○ LeeLix00: wOW your flow is so cool. oh my god

It was just a faceless comment but Changbin could feel a blush creeping into his cheeks as his lips split into a proud grin.

○ LeeLix00: dark is definitely your style, i wish i was this good.

Changbin wondered if the commenter was into rapping, too. He made a mental note to check the other’s channel once he finished looking at the comments in case they also had uploaded content.

○ LeeLix00: yOOOOOOOOOO

“Cute,” Changbin grinned to himself. This person’s enthusiasm was contagious, even through texts on a screen.

○ LeeLix00: did you make the track yourself, too? goals.

No, the certain track the commenter referred to was actually done by Chan.

○ LeeLix00: wait, this one is my favorite. i hope you upload another one soon! this one was so short but i love it most! awesome work, fam!

Changbin almost felt like crying. Only almost. He had his dark reputation to uphold, of course. This person chose his most personal composition as their favorite. It was a short one, only two and a half minutes in length, but it conveyed one of his biggest fears. He wondered for a moment if this person might share the same fears and anxieties expressed in the piece.

Changbin clicked through the notifications a few more times with a satisfied smile resting on his lips. His thoughts returned to the possibility that this person could have their own uploaded content and he quickly pressed on the commenter’s username.

It brought him to a brightly decorated channel with a pastel banner across the top that displayed their username (LeeLix00) in a funky font Changbin swore was nearly identical to the font used for the Disney logos. Changbin didn’t know why, but he found it oddly endearing and cute. Maybe it was the fact that someone who so obviously had a cute and bright persona had somehow found their way to Changbin’s channel, of all places. How on earth did they even find his channel??

He clicked on the “Uploaded Videos” tab and was pleasantly surprised to see a total of four videos listed! The thumbnails were each a different pastel color with song titles displayed in the same funky font on the banner.

Changbin paused at one in particular; it was a pastel green thumbnail titled “y Back,” it had the highest view count of a couple hundred thousand views. Just what part of his own content was “goals”? Changbin would very much argue that this person’s view count was much more “goals” than anything of his.

The rapper didn’t know what he expected the video’s content to be, but he definitely did not expect to be met with a pair of bright brown eyes and a constellation of freckles lain across fair skin. The angelic features belonged to a boy who Changbin assumed had just pressed the record button on the video camera. Said boy smiled brightly at the camera and backed away to join four other boys while they stretched in what looked to be a small dance studio. They continued stretching when the titled song began playing through the room and Changbin’s eyes roamed from one boy to the next, wondering which one of them could be the owner of the channel.

Eventually the boys began a routine to the music and Changbin continued watching the videos until he’d seen all four. He could tell why the first video had the most views, though. The boys were good. All five of them were extremely talented in the art, but Changbin’s eyes were almost always on the freckled boy. They were all good, but he was great. Insanely great, Changbin could argue. To say that the boys had impressed him would be quite the understatement.

Changbin sighed quietly to himself, he wanted to know which of the boys had been his mysterious commenter.  He had initially thought the boy turning the camera on in the first video might have been the channel owner, but then it was a different boy turning the camera on in each of the other videos, so he ruled that possibility out with a frown. All he could take away from the few videos he watched was that the commenter was, indeed, a dude who really enjoyed dancing.

Changbin ignored the small voice inside his head reminding him he could always ask the channel owner to specify which person he was in the videos. But he knew that if the boy wanted his viewers to know, he would have said so in the video description, or even have a solo video of himself uploaded along side the others. Changbin suspected the kid might be in the same boat as himself… it would be hypocritical to ask for someone else’s identity when you don’t want to disclose your own.

The image of the boys in the video that Changbin had left paused was replaced with Chan’s name and number on the screen as his ringtone blasted through the speaker in time with the vibrations of the phone. Changbin didn’t hesitate to answer.

“Hyung?”

“Ah, you’re still up?” Chan sounded so tired, Changbin thought. He answered his hyung quickly, not wanting to waste any of his time.

“I mean, yeah, it’s the weekend and I’m working the late shift tomorrow afternoon, so…” He trailed off. He knew the older would not have called him without a reason. There was no sense in boring him with minor details, even though Changbin knew very well that this hyung would drop everything he was doing if one of his precious dongsaengs called him, if only to just talk about how their day had went.

“Oh, well that’s a good thing! You should still try to get a good amount of sleep every night, you know..”

Changbin smiled softly at his words, “You too, Hyung. Are you eating enough over there? Do I need to bring groceries next time I visit?”

Changbin could hear the others giggles from the other end of the line.

“Don’t worry about me, Binnie. Woojin-ah doesn’t even let me think about skipping a single meal these days, you know that!”

They laughed out loud, both boys knew exactly how true the statement was.

“Anyway… I called because Minho mentioned to me that you might need one more reference letter for your applications. Is that right?”

Changbin straightened upright in his bed. “Um, yeah. He told me that you wrote one for him last year, and I mean, only if you aren’t too busy, Hyung. I wouldn’t want to bother you with something when you need to focus on your studies or—”

Chan coughed shortly, interrupting the younger, “I really don’t mind, Binnie.”

Changbin deflated, relieved to hear the other’s words.

“Plus, you are entering the same department, so it will look good coming from a top student from the same department!”

Changbin sputtered and rolled his eyes as Chan’s giggled filtered through the speaker once again. Changbin missed this giggly hyung a lot.

“Ah, Binnie, I am so glad you chose the same University. I miss you and the younger boys so much.” Chan sighed. “Minho and Woojin keep me sane, but it just isn’t the same without everyone else, you know?”

Changbin smiled sadly. He understood exactly what Chan meant. “Mhmm. I see Jisung, Hyunjin, and Seungmin almost every day, but I get what you mean.”

The boys at University were only an hour’s worth of a drive away, but it was nearly impossible to find a time when all seven of them were free to hang out.

Changbin giggled as a sudden thought came to him, “Ah, Hyunjinnie has made a cute new friend recently.”

Changbin’s smile widened when he heard the surprised gasp come from the other end of the line, “Is that so?!”

Their conversation continued for a while longer, Changbin had forgotten all about his not-as-mysterious-as-before mysterious commenter and had just let the conversation flow

They ended the call with two promises; firstly, that Chan would get the recommendation letter done and emailed to Changbin by the following afternoon, and second, that they would hang out with the other boys as much as possible over the upcoming summer break!

The younger’s eyes went wide once he glanced at the time displayed on his digital clock that sat on his bedside table. He had talked with Chan for nearly two hours! He couldn’t even remember the last time he talked on the phone with anyone for that long. But Changbin supposed if was going to spend hours on the phone with any one of his friends, the ever chatty Channie-hyung would definitely be the one!