Tzuyu jolts up to her alarm, clenching her jaw tightly as her eyes land on the source of the noise.

She scans the LED display of the clock. An oh so familiar timestamp burns brightly:

7:32 AM

Monday, December 29

Tzuyu throws her head back onto her pillow, feeling it absorb the impact and cushion her frustration. She's so sick of trying

She's sick of waiting

of hoping

of crying

of laughing

of pretending everything is normal when she's been the repeating the exact same day for god knows how long.

Her internal monologue is cut short when a cheerful silhouette hovers over her.

"Tzuyu" Sana says, with a childlike grin permanently plastered to her face. Her hair is a newly dyed chocolate brown that frames her face perfectly.

"It's my birth-

"It's your birthday, I know." Tzuyu says curtly, staring hard into the girl's face. Sana's smile never falters, in fact, it widens.

"Well, aren't you going to say 'happy birthday?'" Sana asks, lips pressed together in an effort to not let an amused giggle escape .

Tzuyu laughs bitterly, "Happy birthday."

Sana lunges at the girl and buries her head in Tzuyu's neck, "See, it wasn't that hard."

Tzuyu feels Sana's steady heart beat against her chest, and breathes in harshly, "I guess not."



...



"Come on! Let's go! They’re waiting for us!" Sana announces skipping in the middle of a busy sidewalk, ignoring the raging cold that makes Tzuyu's skin scream.

At this point, she's not sure when it will happen. Sometimes it happens right then and there. A car will drive off course, a man will pull out a gun and start shooting, or a piano will randomly fall from the rooftop above. Tzuyu swears her life is nothing but a joke.

In the beginning, it was horrifying. Sana would scream, Tzuyu would scream, Sana would die, and Tzuyu would wake back up again. Et cetera, et cetera.

Tzuyu tried to convince herself it was a dream or some kind of sickly entertaining game played by god, but in reality, she had absolutely no idea. Maybe she had died and went to hell, or limbo, or she's in a coma, but trying to answer the existential questions flooding her brain takes too much time and effort.

She has tried all she can to save her. Keeping her inside resulted in Sana burning the house down, telling Sana resulted in Sana not believing her and tripping on a stone and dying. Things just didn't work; Tzuyu just stopped counting.

The only thing she is for sure of is—Sana always dies before the day’s over.

Tzuyu and Sana enter a warmly lit coffee shop, one that's forever ingrained in Tzuyu's mind.

"Hey, we’re over here.” Momo beckons them towards the second booth to their left.

Sana instinctively jogs over to meet the rest as Tzuyu trails along reluctantly, picking up someone's phone off ignore the floor, telling the girl on her left that her husband is cheating, and helping the barista carry the mugs so they don't end up as shards on the laminated floor.

...

"So, what have you been up to?" Chaeyoung asks Tzuyu almost immediately after she sits down

Tzuyu sighs at the question, checking her watch and answering the question truthfully, "Trying to save Sana's life for the millionth time, how about you?"

The slightly older one takes it as unabashed sarcasm (it's not) and chuckles, "I'm fine. I've been trying to convince Dahyun to come to my painting class, but you know, she just doesn't want to."

Tzuyu shrugs, "She does. She just doesn't want you to laugh at her terrible art that's all."

Chaeyoung snorts, taking a long sip of her caramel macchiato, "Yea okay, and you know that how?

"I just do." Tzuyu hums matter of factly

Just then a group of baristas crowd around the nine girls' table, a basic cake in hand. One that’s topped with white flakes and yellow frosting.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday Dear Sana-“

They continue singing until the cake ends up on the table, Momo shifting in her seat ready to quell her aching hunger until Tzuyu interrupts.

"You can't eat any."

Momo looks at her with a look of surprise and rejection. "Yea and why not?"

Nayeon laughs; her cloudy white teeth reflecting the lamp light above her, "She's messing with you, dummy."

"I'm not." Tzuyu states plain as day. Nayeon looks at her for five seconds straight, searching for any indication whatsoever of sarcasm; she finds none.

Jeongyeon and Jihyo exchange looks, Momo's confused and her eyes puppy dog-like, and even Mina, who's been detached from the whole conversation starts paying some attention.

Tzuyu sighs, crossing her arms and raising her chin, "It has coconut in it. You're allergic."

Momo huffs, "How do you know?"

"Have you ever had coconut before." Tzuyu asks

"Uh, yea when I was smaller. I don't really like it though, it makes my mouth feel weird."

Tzuyu groans, “Momo, you’re smart, but you’re so dense sometimes.”

Jihyo sends an unappreciative glance as she cuts the cake, “It’s okay, I’ll pay something extra, since I’m the one who ordered the cake in the first place.”

She passes Sana the first slice, then Chaeyoung, and so forth.

When she gets to Mina, she politely refuses, preferring to sip on her tea and zone out.

"Mina, you're going to pass out if you don't eat anything." Tzuyu informs, poking at the slice of cake carelessly, as if anything she's saying is normal or even expected.

Mina coughs awkwardly, silently disagreeing and making nervous eye contact with the girl in front of her.

"I know you haven't eaten anything since Thursday morning and drinking caffeine, isn't going to help with your raging headache."

The currently slow-emotioned Mina looks absolutely baffled, opening and closing like a fish. Jihyo pushes a plate of food in her direction, and Mina takes it, a slight thank you escaping her cracked lips.

....

After the cake is finished and the coffee is cold, some of the group part ways. Chaeyoung finally convincing Dahyun to take the art class, Jihyo and Jeongyeon going grocery shopping, and Momo, Mina, and Nayeon deciding to stick around the café a little longer.

Sana and Tzuyu walk their normal path. Tzuyu expects Sana to cut through the market, turn right by the river, stand next to a chicken shop, contemplating whether or not to get to-go, go around in a circle, get "lost", and then finally head home.

But Tzuyu is in for the first surprise in forever when Sana turns left instead of right. Something clicks inside her head and makes her believe this is when she is going to die today.

Sana walks towards the bridge; her steps uneven and irregular. She braces the edge tethering herself slightly with her left foot placed firmly on the safe side.

Tzuyu does nothing but watch. Intervening is useless, she's concluded this a long time ago. Preventing the inevitable helped no one in the end.

Until, a single sentence tears the silence into pieces

"Why are you such a ing today?"

Tzuyu looks off into the distance past Sana's head, looking the least bit interested, "What do you mean?"

Sana chuckles bitterly, hand itching to scratch something she can't exactly feel.

"You can’t treat your friends with some respect? You can’t treat me with some respect. Do you even care?"

Tzuyu takes a slow breath, choosing her words carelessly, "To be honest, I don't really know anymore. Do you know how tiring it is? Doing this over and over, it’s driving me absolutely insane."

Sana turns around, feeling the sleet stick to her shoes. Her eyes are dark brown and pulsing. Inside is a Milky Way of possibilities and new beginnings, sunshine and aftershocks, hugs and breathy laughs. Right now, all of that is clouded by discomfort and uneasiness, uncertainty and vulnerability, confusion and frustration.

Her hands cling to the sides of her jacket, tracing the lining with her fingers; seemingly trying to soothe herself.

"What does that even mean!? What are you saying?" Sana lets loose, feeling complete agitation burst through, desperately wanting to understand. A mountain of pain was building, and it tips over, releasing a cloud of unrestricted access to the fire in the pit of her stomach; turning that mountain of hers into a volcano.

Lava in the form of words fly, producing steam as it makes contact with the rigid air, and people stare. Tzuyu nods and says almost nothing, waiting for something to happen.

But nothing really does. The screams, shouts, pleads, she became insensitive to those kinds of things in totality. It tinkles in her ears like birds chirping and carolers singing. In the end, Sana does something that leaves Tzuyu saturated in curiosity.

“I need some space,” Sana walks away, arms crossed and held close to her trembling body. If any further explanation was given, it fell on deaf ears. No attempts to follow her retreating figure were made, Tzuyu fully expecting Sana to come back to her in the end.

....

The next morning crept in as a shadow, growing larger and larger as the light dies.

Tzuyu wakes up again, same day, same time, but no Sana.


It’s Tuesday, December 30th.


Tzuyu wakes up alone, realizing the 739th time was the last.

…..

“Run it again. Switch the position of T in Nº. 1161451.”