“Don’t mind Donghyun. That story about my first football match wasn’t true.” Taeyang explained as we exited his mother’s house. He had called me early this morning and asked if I could come by his house. I wasn’t meant to go inside, but his mother and brother spotted me and invited me in. The next thing I know, his brother is spouting off stories from years ago, obviously trying to annoy Taeyang. I thought it was cute, but Tae was not amused.

“Of course it wasn’t.” I agreed, nodding my head once in affirmation. I looked at him and his cheeks were slightly pink.

He noticed me looking and shook his head, smiling and making his eyes smaller than they already were. “God... Fine, it was true. But that was years ago.”

I elbowed him gently, giggling a little. “I know, I know. I thought it was adorable. Picturing little you at a match-”

“Don’t finish that. Look, we’re here.” he interrupted, his face flushing just a little more. I had been enjoying teasing him, but we had reached our destination; an abandoned building downtown. There were metal ladders attached to the sides and we loved to climb to the roof and look out onto the city.

I made him start climbing before me and he didn’t protest very much. I wasn’t inviting the idea of his head being so close to my rear. We’ve only been hanging out for about a month and things had been very slow. I loved the fact that he didn’t want to rush into anything.

When we got to the top, I immediately went to sit on the edge, my legs swinging slightly. The shoes I was wearing were clearly worn, but I didn’t mind. At this point in our relationship, I’d become more comfortable with Taeyang, so having my ratty shoes on display didn’t concern me too much.

I expected him to come and sit next to me, but he never came. I looked over my shoulder to find nothing. I stood up, looking around me, but not finding him on the roof.

“Taeyang?” I called, trying to contain my emotions. There were so many thoughts floating through my mind, but I didn’t want to center on any of them because none were good.

I looked down to the base of the building, not finding him there. But a few feet away from the building, there he stood. When our eyes met he smiled and raised his arms as if he were giving me an air-hug. I did the same, laughing with relief.

“Why are you down there?” I shouted, not angry, just confused.

“The view’s better here, to be honest.” he replied, winking at me.

I laughed, covering my mouth as I did so.

I started running toward the other side of the roof, and he followed along on the ground below. We ran a few laps, just laughing and having fun. I’m not sure what led us to this, but I didn’t really mind it.

Eventually, when we both got tired of running back and forth, I climbed down from the roof. He took my hand and led me over to a lone swing set.

I sat down on one of the swings and he just circled the poles, smiling at me all the while. There were so many things I wanted to talk about, to say to him, but I couldn’t bring myself to ruin the carefree moment. He was laughing at something I’d said a moment ago, and I was laughing, too, as well as studying his face like this would be the last time I see him like this.

He flipped his hood up as a few raindrops began to fall. I hadn’t even realized that the sun had disappeared behind the clouds.

“We need to get inside somewhere or we’ll catch cold.” I tell him, looking up at the sky as more fat raindrops fell to the ground, touching down with a faint splat.

“Let’s enjoy this while we can. It’s not every day we get rain without lightning.” Taeyang said. He laid down on the ground, just looking up as the rain got heavier. He had his eyes closed and was smiling again, content with his position.

I laid down beside him, smiling and giggling the entire time. “This is so weird. Today has been weird.” I mumbled. He turned his head to look at me, our eyes meeting.

“I know what you mean.” he told me, shaking his head slightly.

“Taeyang, what are we doing?” I asked, my hand reaching out to grasp his.

“Other than getting soaked?” I nodded, smiling. “We’re having fun. We are free and happy.”

“But what happens after today?”

His face took on a look of pain. “Let’s not talk about tomorrow or the next day. Let’s just live in the moment.”

“How can I do that if I don’t know when the happiness will end?”

Tae just looked at me, a slightly irritated look crossing his features. “Don’t ask me questions, because I don’t know the answer.” He sighed. “We’re so happy as we are now. Why can’t that be enough?”

I sighed, too. “I only want to know what I am to you, and what you are to me.”

He scooted closer to me on the wet pavement, his hand reaching up to caress my cheek. “I’m a little scared, okay? We can’t make promises because we don’t know what tomorrow brings. But I really mean it when I say that I like you.”

Taeyang got to his feet, extending his hand out to me. He helped me stand up and hugged me, slowly turning as if we were dancing. His hand was on the back of my head.

“Tae, I think I’m falling in-”

“Shh. Don’t say it. Don’t trap us in one word. It’s a greed that can’t be filled.”

Tears started streaming down my face as my arms wrapped around his torso, his hoodie soaked just like the rest of our clothes.

“Don’t expect too much of me. I don’t want to lose you.” He pulled back to look at my face. “Before things get too deep, before you get hurt, don’t trust me.”

He wiped the tears out from under my eyes, and we both laughed as we realized that his actions wouldn’t do much good. The rain was really pouring now.

“How about we head into that café over there? I’ll buy you a coffee.” he offered, smiling genuinely at me.

I returned his smile. “I would like that.”