9:00 AM- 11:00AM: Morning

Jackson felt like he was in a complete daze, like his brain was scrambled and couldn't settle on what it actually wanted to think. His conversation with Yugyeom kept on playing over and over again like the shocking finale of a daytime drama in his mind. Jaebum's top pick? That was you.

Jackson hadn't believed it at first. He had spent a lot of time around Jaebum over the past few months, and hadn't picked up those vibes before. Not even in the slightest. Jaebum's attitude hadn't changed abruptly at any point to signal any shift in feelings, plus he'd never pulled any of the prince-like tenderness he'd been pulling on Jinyoung lately.

When he pointed that out to Yugyeom, Yugyeom had simply shrugged. “I told you, Jaebum's not the flowers and sweetness kind of guy he's trying to be right now. He's the smoldering romantic lead. Hasn't he fixed you in any fierce gazes recently?”

“Oh, yeah, lots of those.”

“Or pulled a cool line like, 'You annoy the crap out of me but somehow still drive me wild'?”

“Actually...yes.”

“Have you ever considered that maybe he liked you from the beginning and that's why you haven't noticed a change in emotion?”

Jackson hadn't thought about it, but now he was. Almost non-stop. He replayed his past conversations with Jaebum in his head, finally noticing the hints dropped, the touches of longing he'd once glanced right over, the thinly veiled looks of hurt in Jaebum's eyes when he went on and on about the whole destiny thing with Jinyoung, stomping on his emotions carelessly without even knowing it.

And then he remembered what Jaebum had said to him before they'd left. About how Jackson had done less for him than even Youngjae. Because Youngjae had at least listened to Jaebum's confession before shooting him down. Jackson hadn't even granted him that courtesy.

So he had to admit it to himself once and for all: at one point, at one precious and entirely disregarded point, Jaebum had been in love with him.

It was an exciting thing to realize for about two seconds before Jackson remembered the other things Jaebum had said. Don't try to change your mind in the future. I offered you a way in. You didn't take it. That's all. It's over. The end. It didn't matter that he'd realized what was there now. It was too late. Jaebum had already closed the book on them, burned it, and started a new one with Jinyoung. There was no way he was going to get anything but dirty hands if he tried to go digging through the ashes to put it back together.

A part of him knew he had to tell Jaebum anyways, and that if he kept silent, there really would be no way forward for them. Jaebum had to know, even if it was pointless, because Jackson just wasn't the kind of person to swallow his feelings in the long term. It was going to come out somehow, no matter what he did.

But Jaebum was going to kill him. Jackson was also aware of that. He was going to cause Jaebum a crap load of pain and frustration and anger, and then Jaebum was going to kill him. Basically, all that was left to do was figure out how to bring it up with Jaebum in the first place and prepare for his own funeral.

He just hoped more than anything that once Jaebum got through his justified anger and murderous rage, that he would find a way to open his heart again. No matter how long it took, he hoped that could at least be a faint possibility in the future. Because if not, if Jaebum had really fallen in love with Jinyoung, then Jackson would have really put the final nail in his own coffin. He didn't know how he'd be able to live with himself if he had to go by day by day with the knowledge that he'd shattered his own heart.

Weighed down by these thoughts, it felt like he was stumbling through the morning. He couldn't focus on what everyone else in the cabin was talking about, if anything. It all went in through one ear and out the other, mindless buzzing that no longer had anything to do with him.

“Jackson, do I need to haul you over to sick bay?” Jaebum asked eventually when Jackson literally ran into a tree on their way to mess hall for breakfast. “I'm about 80% sure you're delirious with a fever right now.”

“Actually, I'm not,” Jackson said, massaging his wounded face. “I'm just having some thoughts.”

“How terrifying..”

“I'm sorry,” he said. Maybe that was a good place to start. Apologizing.

“Why?” Jaebum asked.

“Because of everything I've done to make you mad at me recently. All of it. Jinyoung. Trying to play with fate. Steamrolling you at every opportunity. Seriously, all of it. I'm sorry. If I could go back and change one thing, I'd go back to whatever point I decided to hold my vision of you as more absolute than your vision for yourself and give myself a big old punch in the face.”

Jaebum stared at him, looking a little thunderstruck. “Do...do I want to know what brought this on?”

“Not yet. I don't want to be murdered at breakfast. I heard someone say there were going to be crepes.” He paused. “But I just want to add one little thing to my apology.”

“...go on.”

“None of it was because I wasn't thinking of you. I got a lot of things wrong, but all of the things I got wrong were about you, because that might be all I ever do, honestly. Thinking about you.”

Jaebum stopped in his tracks, looking half way between shock and disbelief, and Jackson didn't exactly want to be punched in the face when the fury inevitably set in, so he kept on walking. It felt good to have just that little bit off his chest. It had been a lot to carry, even though he hadn't even realized it had been burdening him for much longer than he'd thought.

Now he would just have to steel himself for the rest.

11:00 AM-13:00 PM: AmeriThaiChiKong

“So, for the most part we've been talking about Korean traditions,” Nichkhun said, “but now we'd like to move on to some traditions from some of the other cultures represented here. We actually prepared most of Day 6 with our international campers ahead of time, including today's Buddy Activity, so for the Korean campers, you get to just sit back a little bit and enjoy the show. International campers, time to prepare your performances!”

The eight international campers rose to their feet and went off to their cabins to do whatever their preparations entailed. Jinyoung was incredibly curious. For all of their incredible chattiness, BamBam, Jackson, and Jae hadn't let any details about this slip. Mark had never mentioned it either, not even in passing.

While he waited for the others to get back, Jinyoung turned to Jaebum, who had been looking a little out of it ever since breakfast. It seemed like a pattern with them—when one of them was feeling more confident, the other one became confused. It was a really unique experience for Jinyoung to be this out of sync with Jaebum for the first time in his life, but maybe it was an important thing for them to learn they were capable of. It was almost a relief not to be the perfect soulmates everyone had thought they were in actuality. It took some of the pressure away. Jinyoung felt it gave him more freedom to be his own person rather than just one half of a friendship or a couple. He still valued his friendship with Jaebum, but was a little glad that it was developing instead of just staying the same. He only wished he could safely untangle some of the relationship elements that had been woven into it since they started 'dating' without destroying the whole thing completely.

“Everything OK?” Jinyoung asked Jaebum, just to make sure. He wondered if he would still be risking breaking Jaebum's heart tonight or if Jaebum had finally realized his heart wasn't Jinyoung's to break.

“Nope,” Jaebum said frankly.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not right now. Tonight.”

“All right. Let's get this settled, OK? We should end camp on a good note. No more things not being OK between us and between everyone else anymore.”

Jaebum nodded, a bit stiffly. “I don't know if that's even still possible, Jinyoung. But I'll try.”

“All right,” Wooyoung called out after a few more minutes. “Looks like everyone's ready. Take a seat and hold on to your hats, the show's about to begin!”

Said 'show' kicked off with Minghao and Junhui doing a wushu demonstration, which was absolutely breathtaking to watch. Both boys had beautiful movement and fast reflexes, and it seemed more like they were engaging in a complex dance with each other than an actual fight. Sometimes they moved so quickly that he couldn't help but wonder how the heck they were doing it.

After the two of them had finished and bowed to the clapping audience, it was BamBam's turn. He came out from the cabin dressed in a colorfully patterned outfit, his nails extended so that they were long and spiky. “I've only ever seen this performance, not done it myself before, so bear with me, guys,” he warned before the music started. When it did, he seemed to pull off the routine well enough. The dance mainly incorporated small and deliberate foot movements paired with more elegant and sweeping hand and arm extensions, making use of the visuals of his elongated nails. It was intricate enough to impress Jinyoung, who'd so far mainly seen BamBam being relaxed and lackadaisical. It was cool to see him in a more disciplined and artistic setting.

Jinyoung had been a bit curious about what the American team would do, since American “traditional” culture was more a blend of what the melting pot of immigrant cultures had brought to it. Instead, their group had gone for a more modern take on US lifestyle. Joshua and Jae brought out their guitars and began performing Bruce Springsteen's “Born in the USA,” until they cut off suddenly in the middle. Jae started to beat box, and Vernon stepped up to rap a bit of Jay-Z's “Empire State of Mind” (Yugyeom and BamBam were already on their feet cheering and dabbing before he got two lines out of his mouth). Just before Vernon reached Alicia Keys's part, Jae and Joshua started up with their guitars again and Mark came in with an energetic version of the Beastie Boys' “(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party)” (Yugyeom and BamBam were borderline going nuts at this development). They closed off with all four of them doing a hearty rendition of Miley Cyrus's “Party in the USA”. Everyone at this point was on their feet, clapping and dancing and singing along. Jinyoung was glad this event had been added to the camp schedule. He was having so much fun, and it was really cool to see different sides of his cabinmates than what he'd seen before.

“So, uh, yeah, not sure how I'm going to follow that up,” Jackson said, scratching his head. “Mine's not really even that traditional or limited to Hong Kong...but if you want to see how a Hong Kong fencer kicks , please enjoy.”

It was a rare show of humbleness on Jackson's part, especially since his actual performance was spectacular. He'd roped Wooyoung into being his fencing partner, and then proceeded to soundly thrash him without letting up. It was amazing to see his usually abundant energy being so neatly controlled while at the same time unleashed so ferociously. Jinyoung glanced over at Jaebum. It was hard to read the look in his eyes. More and more it seemed like Jaebum, who had always been the person he'd understood best, was outright eluding him with his thoughts.

After all the performances were done, all the Korean campers got to go through one-by-one and participate in the activities they'd been shown. Minghao and Junhui taught them some basic wushu jumps, and even had them try out a few staff techniques (“Never know when those staff techniques are going to come in handy,” Jackson had muttered under his breath.) BamBam walked them through what every part of the traditional dance he'd done had represented and taught them a few of the dance steps, though he accused every single one of them except Jeonghan of looking like idiots when they tried. The American team led them in a camp sing-a-long of “Don't Stop Believing.” Jackson accepted fencing challengers and then proceeded to demolish everyone.

Everything just felt so relaxed and light hearted and fun. Like this, it was easy to forget that there was still a weight dangling over his head, ready to drop. No matter what, something was going to happen tonight. He'd made a choice, and there would be consequences to that choice, and probably people he didn't want to hurt were going to get hurt. Things in his world were going to change, and it was hard not to be slightly terrified of what that would end up meaning. He only knew that he had to do it anyways, that he couldn't live anymore torn between duties and wants.

When they had all finished their activities and demonstrations, Nichkhun and Wooyoung sat them back down in a circle.

“We just want to say thank you to both the Korean and international campers for everything you've done and shown us during this camp,” Wooyoung said. “I know some of you are here because your parents wanted you to come or it was recommended by your school, but I hope you were able to gain something by coming here all the same. With the way things have been in the world lately, it's easy to wonder things like 'Can we all really get along? Is it possible for there to be peace when people can be so different from each other?' Well, I think it's OK that those differences exist. I think it's important to respect and learn about those differences. Every little thing that goes into making you who you are both culturally and individually has the right to exist, and no one person or culture has a greater right to exist than the other. I hope you can continue to learn and live that as you go through your lives. We can get along. We can be different and celebrate those differences, while still realizing that deep down we're all human and have more to share than we have to drive us apart.”

“So let's keep on sharing what we have to share,” Nichkhun finished. “Today is Korea Day and also America Day and China Day and Hong Kong Day and Thailand Day. Today is World Day. Take advantage of this time to open up the world to each other. I'm pretty sure you'll be surprised by some of the things you learn.”

15:00PM-18:00PM: Buddy Time- Jinyoung & Mark

Mark had been completely in charge of planning his own culture themed Buddy Activity this time, so he'd gone with a "4th of July" motif since it was summer. He'd reserved them a camp grill and had Wooyoung help them set up a fire so they could grill hamburgers and hot dogs. He'd also brought them a huge pack of sparklers to play with later.

"Basically, you'll really understand the American spirit if you relax a little, kick off your worries, eat a lot, and have fun," Mark said. "So I'm thinking that maybe for once in our short acquaintance, we shouldn't talk about difficult things today."

"Fair enough. Besides...this whole thing that's been going on. I think it's going to be resolved by tonight. I don't think the end of the month deadline will work anymore."

"Whatever you think is best," Mark said simply. "I'm leaving it in your very capable hands. It being my heart, so please try and treat it gently, if you can."

"I'll do my very best," Jinyoung said. "So. Grilling. Are you actually any good at it?"

"Are you kidding? This is a proud tradition of American men. If you can't do it, you pretty much get kicked out of the country."

"Seriously? What about the women?"

Mark gave him a mock aghast look. "Park Jinyoung, a man MUST be the one to grill, it's like a law. And he has to do it telling awful dad jokes and wearing...I dunno what you call them here, but in English it's 'jorts'. Really awful jean shorts."

Jinyoung laughed. "Whatever you say, Mark."

"Anyways, it's not really that difficult. As long as you have a sense of timing and nose for when things are burning, you should be fine." He pulled out a bag of ingredients—apparently they'd been allotted a budget for this Buddy Activity. "By the way, not only are we going to build you a burger, we're going to build you a LEGIT burger. With all the fixings. So go right ahead and pick what you want. Pickles? Onions? Steak sauce? Mustard? Cheese? I've got it."

"You're really serious about this."

"I'm not just cooking food, Jinyoungie. I'm...I'm...creating?...the environment of an event. When you think of an event or a party like this, the little details are just as important as the big ones. Even if the fireworks are beautiful or the weather is good, you're always going to remember if you had a low quality burger. So I am certainly not going to make you suffer through a low quality burger."

"Is this what you usually do for 4th of July?"

"Eating burgers? Always. But I've always spent it with my family and friends. Not with a person like you, before."

"A person like me," Jinyoung echoed.

"Yeah. And don't ask me to explain, because right now there just aren't any words." He spun his spatula in his hand. "By the way, great singing last night."

"You too today. Really admirable, fighting for your right to party like that."

"I do what I must," he said solemnly.

"By the way, I never asked how your Buddy Time went yesterday, while I was gone. Did you partner with Yugyeom?"

Mark snorted. "I forgot that you missed that whole episode since you accompanied BamBam to sick bay. Thanks to Jackson, I wound up paired with your boyfriend."

Jinyoung started choking. "JAEBUM!?!?"

"Did you have any other boyfriends I should know about? I'm surprised he didn't mention it."

"The activity...it was boating, right? You went boating with Jaebum? You're still alive...that's a good sign, I guess."

"We actually had a very healthy discussion together. I enjoyed the chance to talk to him."

"PLEASE tell me you didn't provoke him."

"Mildly," Mark said with a shrug. “I was actually trying to be helpful. After all, if he winds up making a dumb decision because of his own stubbornness, he's going to regret it just as much as you or I will. But somehow, I don't think he will. I think his stubbornness is finally breaking. Actually...I'm a little worried everything about him is breaking a little.”

“Then I should be careful tonight”

“I don't mean this in a bad way, Jinyoung, but no matter how much you love Jaebum, this isn't really your problem to fix. But let's not talk about it  now. No difficult talk about that today, remember?” He flipped their burgers, whistling 'Stars and Stripes Forever' under his breath.

“So, as my cultural mentor today, I feel obligated to ask you,” Jinyoung said. “What is 4^th of July to you?”

Mark thought. “It's kind of hard to explain in Korean but...it reminds me that if other people hadn't made sacrifices, the entire world would be different from how it is today.”

“That's a surprisingly deep answer.”

“It was a deep question.” He looked at Jinyoung seriously. “I've always been a sit on my hands and wait kind of guy in the past. But I realize that if everyone who lived on the earth took that attitude, nothing would ever get done. So because of that, I've tried to learn to take my fate into my own hands.”

“I've never found it to be that easy.”

“It isn't. But what is? I'm sure the people who fought in the Revolutionary War didn't have it particularly easy either. But it was something worth fighting for to them, so they fought. And here we are today. Together. In this world instead of another one.”

“Hmmm. An interesting thought.”

“I try.”

When their burgers and hot dogs were ready, Mark pulled out some red, white, and blue paper plates and filled them up with food. “Enjoy,” Mark said, bumping his can of Coke against Jinyoung's.

It was delicious. Of course, Jinyoung had eaten his share of burgers before in the past, but this didn't taste like a Korean burger. Somehow, he felt like he could taste Mark's America in it, the echoes of other 4^th of Julys in the past. All those years when Mark had been alive and Jinyoung had been unaware that someone so amazing and perfect for him in the depths of his soul had existed on the planet with him, living his life on a path that would one day bring them together. A shudder of excitement trembled down Jinyoung's spine. Just one single element changed, just one single moment where the wrong person sat on their hands at the wrong time, and this world could have been a completely different place. But here we are. Here we are.

“My compliments to the grill master,” Jinyoung said, when he'd gobbled up his food. “You clearly know what you're doing.”

“Glad that was a success,” Mark said, grinning. “Now, let's try for some fireworks.”

Of course, the sparklers were far smaller in scale than actual fireworks, but Jinyoung felt the same gravity he always felt during firework shows. Like something huge and impressive was about ready to happen, and all he could do was wait in breathless anticipation. A feeling like 'this is a Moment with a capital M and I better keep my eyes open wide and not miss a single second of it.'

Mark lit a pair of sparklers pulled from the box and handed one to Jinyoung. Goldish sparks leapt in every direction, accompanied by a soft sizzling noise similar to the noise actual fireworks made when they faded from the sky. Jinyoung took it between his fingers, holding it gingerly. It was beautiful, but you always had to be careful when playing with sparks. Even small ones could still burn you.

“It would be cooler at night,” Mark said, waving his sparkler in the air in a spiral. “You can draw pictures or words in photos with these things when the lighting's just right. We've even got a family picture of me and my siblings spelling out July 4 somewhere back home.”

“What would you draw?” Jinyoung asked. “Right now?”

“The exact same thing that's going through my mind.”

“Which is?”

“That I love you.”

Jinyoung looked at him in surprise, his heart pounding erratically. He'd never heard those words spoken to him in that way, with those kinds of intentions before. 'I love you' had always seemed to come attached to the kind of moments too big and sweeping for someone small and ordinary like him to be a part of. They were the words of romance novels, or television dramas, of people who had lived longer and knew more than him.

But here they were, spoken in this moment for him and him alone. And he felt them filling up inside him, transforming him into someone who was no longer small and ordinary, but someone who was now for a second the center of the universe. The center of the most important person in the universe, the person just for him.

“I thought you said we weren't going to talk about that today,” he whispered, trying to hold himself steady.

“I said no 'difficult' things,” Mark said gently. “That wasn't difficult. Those words are a heartbeat in my body. I feel it every second. I don't even have to do anything about it, it just keeps beating over and over again.” He reached out and took Jinyoung's hand. "I don't need you to answer me back right now. But tomorrow...?" He trailed off, leaving it an open question.

Jinyoung squeezed his hand. "Tomorrow," he said, but he let his eyes give away the answer right then and there, and he was pretty sure that Mark, who had always noticed every little thing about him from the beginning, saw the evidence of the three words that were also very much a beat in Jinyoung's own heart.

15:00PM-18:00PM: Buddy Time- Jackson & Jaebum

“Is it just me,” Jackson asked, dipping his paintbrush into a puddle of gold paint, “or do you and I really at Buddy Time?”

Jaebum looked up at him warily. “What do you mean?”

“On Day 1, we didn't properly answer the questions given to us. Who Am I? Why Am I Here? What Are My Goals? How Can I Reach Them?”

“You said you already knew the answers.”

“I was wrong. I didn't. Day 2. Well Day 2 wasn't so bad, but Mark starting to fall in love with Jinyoung was the only thing that saved us from being dead last. And Day 3... I never actually meditated. Maybe if I had, I would have been enlightened enough not to say something mind numbingly stupid to you. Day 4. We never flew the freaking kite like we were supposed to. Then Day 5 we took a Buddy vacation from each other. And now on Day 6, you're not even attempting to paint the lantern I specially prepared for you.”

Jaebum stared down at the red Chinese lantern sitting in his lap. Technically, it was already launch ready, minus the flame to send it sailing, but it had been Jackson's idea to paint their wishes onto the surface and send them up into the sky. It had seemed ingeniously symbolic when he'd suggested it, but Jaebum apparently didn't think so.

“It just seems kind of pointless," Jaebum said after awhile. "Wishing. Turning to someone else to take care of your problems for you. I've done that already, and it only made things worse."

"It's just a symbol, you know. It's only putting what you want into words and putting it out there. Admitting that you want it."

"As if admitting what you want can actually make it yours."

"Maybe not, but better to be honest and confront it than pretend like you don't want it." He sighed. "Look, I was trying to be deep with this whole thing, I guess, but it's really not that deep. Maybe writing something down won't change anything, but why not do it anyways?"

“Because if it doesn't change anything, why do it?" He sighed. "Remember last winter when we were supposed to get that huge snowstorm? You saw on the news that it was going to be big enough to where they'd have to cancel school, maybe for a few days in a row. You got so excited that you even invited yourself over for a sleepover and kept me up half the night because you didn't think we'd have to go to school the next day. But when we woke up, there wasn't a single flake of snow on the ground. You'd been counting on the snowstorm so much and you were so disappointed that even I felt bad for you."

Jackson nodded. He remembered the feeling of looking outside to see the clear streets, a bitter feeling as if the universe itself had conspired to betray him.

"But when we made it to school, you were back to talking and laughing and having the time of your life. Like that disappointment didn't matter to you and you didn't care. It made me kind of jealous of you. Because if that had been me, I would have been angry the whole day. I'm not someone who can live with that kind of feeling easily, not like you. If I get my hopes up and believe in something, even something as silly as a wish coming true, if it doesn't wind up happening, that let down feeling just keeps on bothering and bothering me until it's all I can think of."

“That's not something you should envy, OK?" Jackson said softly. "Sometimes I really do put it behind me, but a lot of times it's just a front to make myself feel better. Honestly, though, it does matter. And I do care. A lot. About everything. And I think you do too, even when you pretend like you don't."

"How do you keep doing it, then? Believing?"

"Because for every five things that end in disappointment, if there's one thing that doesn't and I can feel the happiness of getting exactly what I had wanted, wasn't it worth it in the end?"

Jaebum said nothing. He simply grabbed his paintbrush, dipped it into the gold paint, and began scribbling furiously onto his lantern. Jackson couldn't even begin to read what he was trying to say, but perhaps that was fair. It wasn't as if Jaebum could read what he'd written in Chinese on his lantern, the answers he'd never properly given on Day 1. I am Jackson. I'm here because I've been a fool. My desire is to make up for the damage I've caused. I'm reaching out to heaven for a little help.

Jaebum turned to him when he finished. "There, are you happy?" he asked.

No, Jackson thought. Jaebum saying that had reminded him of what he'd said when he'd first gotten together with Jinyoung: "I'm glad you're happy. I was hoping you would be." He had a feeling that just as he'd gone about trying to make Jaebum happy in the stupidest way possible, Jaebum had done the exact same stupid thing for him. And now, here they were, both incredibly unhappy and both equally stupid.

"Jaebum," Jackson said, swallowing. "I know I've hurt you a lot recently. Don't think I don't feel terrible about that, too. I'm sorry. I'm really, really, really sorry. And right now I'm pretty terrified that you've actually started to hate me, and if that's true, I really won't be able to smile and pretend everything is OK, because you hating me would never be OK and I'd never forgive myself, so please just put me out of my misery now and tell me that you don't."

"I don't," Jaebum said right away. "I think I've told you that before. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't hate you."

"But...why?"

"Because there's not a cruel bone in your body. As soon as you realize you've hurt someone, you do exactly what you're doing now. When you do something bad, you don't mean it. I know that. You really don't mean it." He stared down at the message on his lantern. "The problem is, you don't ever realize it while you're doing it. Only after. So...even though..." He clenched his fists a little.

"Even though what?"

"...even though I get the feeling you've realized it fully now and I know you're sorry, I..."

Jackson's heart sank. He doesn't forgive me, he realized. He doesn't hate me, but that doesn't mean he's just going to let me back in when I've already treated him carelessly once before.

"I have a choice to make," Jaebum said finally. "Not today. I promised Jinyoung today. But if you have something to say to me, I'll hear you out just the one more time. And you have to be prepared to hear me out too, because god knows I have things I probably need to say to you. But it's not all going to be good or easy, and I can't promise you anything, because I still don't know if I can-" He fell silent. Jackson could guess what he wasn't saying. Forgive you. Trust you. Love you again. Give the heart you already broke back to you and your careless, reckless hands.

But Jackson decided not to push him. Instead, he had them gather their lanterns and take them to the lakeside. He took a lighter and lit the bottom of his lantern, then tossed it into the sky where it sailed overhead with no guarantees if it would make it up to the place where these kinds of wishes were gathered or sink to the earth to be stepped on and unanswered. He did the same with Jaebum's lantern, watching it trail after his.

“I hope you wished for happiness,” Jackson whispered, shielding his eyes.

“I never wish for my happiness," Jaebum said softly. "You've always done that for me."

“I didn't mean my boneheaded idea of your happiness. I just meant your idea of your happiness. I hope you find it, Im Jaebum. I hope you'll never lose it again.”

19:00PM-21:00PM: Lovers- Answer!

They were out on the docks again. Jinyoung wasn't sure he liked the sense of openness, the fact that the campfire wasn't so far away, that they could be seen. He hoped that Jaebum wasn't trying to make a display of this—not of his love, but of his pain. Now that Jinyoung was well and truly loved, he didn't have any illusions of Jaebum possibly loving him anymore. He knew now for sure that they were the same as they ever were, both of them.

He just didn't know if Jaebum knew that or not, yet.

He sat down next to Jaebum on the docks, studying his expression. He looked tense, wound up like a spring. Jinyoung prayed that this would be the last time he would have to see Jaebum like this. Mark was right in saying this wasn't exactly his problem to fix, but he wanted to give Jaebum whatever words of encouragement to be brave and do the right thing he needed. 

"So," Jinyoung said, taking a deep breath. "Our last night like this."

"Yes."

"This is not how I'd imagined it would be, you know. Looking back on Day 1, I had no idea how we'd end up at the end."

"Right." Jaebum laughed a little hollowly. "I believed in it, actually. Jackson had so much faith in it that I thought he could actually be right about us. I thought you and I would definitely have figured it out by now."

"But we did figure it out, didn't we?" Jinyoung asked. "That we're not meant for each other like everyone thought. It wasn't the answer you assumed, but it's still an answer."

"It just kind of . Maybe not for you because you found someone who makes you happy from all of this, but I can't help but being angry. But that's just me, isn't it? Always angry, always letting things matter too much and then pretending like I don't." He reached down to take Jinyoung's hand. "I'm sorry. I need to tell you that. This wasn't fair to you.”

“I know,” Jinyoung said softly.

“I shouldn't have involved you. From the beginning...I think some part of me knew it wasn't going to work. That this was about him and me, not me and you. I just got so angry...maybe a part of me wanted him to suffer so he would know what he had done to me. I didn't want you to suffer, too. I just thought it would be so much easier. If I could love someone like you and not someone like him.”

“But I don't fit you so well, do I?”

“You're too good, Jinyoung. What Mark said was right, even though I tried to ignore him. You're too extraordinary to be any ordinary fool's last resort.”

“Mark said that?”

“If you replace 'ordinary fool' with 'pitiful idiot,' then yes. He did.” Jaebum took a shuddering breath. “You're in love with him too, then?”

Jinyoung nodded. “Yes. I know you two haven't been getting along, but I hope you'll accept that.”

“It's not my place to accept or reject. It's your heart, Jinyoung.” He sighed again. “As for mine...”

“I can't tell you what to do either, Jaebum. But I don't know if you'll ever forgive yourself if you never forgive him. Please at least consider that.”

“I just don't know how I'm supposed to do it, Jinyoung. How am I supposed to give him a heart he's stepped on so many times I've lost count and expect him to put it back into shape again as if he didn't it up to begin with?”

“I don't know how you're supposed to, Jaebum. You either do or you don't. It's up to you to decide if your love is strong enough to heal the trust. And if not...”

"Yes?"

"Just please don't give up again. There's someone out there for you, and you can't refuse to give your heart again for the rest of your life just because you're scared of being told 'no'."

Jaebum blinked back a few stray tears in his eyes, smiling weakly. "Ahh, Jinyoung. I really do think my life would have been so much easier if I'd fallen in love with you. You really are everything Mark said you were. There were times this week when I almost convinced myself it was possible. That if Jackson and Mark hadn't been here..."

Jinyoung shook his head. "Jaebum, stop right there. If you think that even for a second, Jackson's always going to have his doubts about how you really feel. So I'm going to do you a favor."

"What?"

"I'm going to show you exactly why it's 100% not possible between us. You can use it as evidence for whoever makes this mistake about us again."

Without second guessing himself, he placed his hands on Jaebum's cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. Jinyoung knew this feeling well—the feel of the lips of someone you were acting with. It was just like the kisses from his school plays, filled with the conscious thoughts of one actor to another. It felt OK, because kisses themselves typically did, but it felt like you were kissing a concept instead of a person. It was the idea of a character you were embracing, not the full love and affection of someone who loved you. They were just driving the plot to the next scene, not exchanging feelings. There was nothing to exchange that they hadn't already given each other in their many years of friendship, no new emotions to surprise each other with. He thought it was the clearest, most definitive evidence he could give.

Jaebum pulled away, his nose slightly wrinkled. "Um. Could you possibly never do that again?"

Jinyoung burst out laughing. "See? Even if Jackson and Mark hadn't been here-"

"OK, OK, I get it. Point proven."

"Jaebum?"

"Yeah?"

"I highly suggest we both replace that kiss as soon as possible. I know you're not going to be in any hurry to give your heart recklessly after this, even to the person you love, but...I think you should let yourself feel the difference. Between what we just did and how it feels with someone you truly love."

Jaebum jerked his head a little. There was a little bit of fear left in his eyes, but Jinyoung had a feeling that he knew what he had to do. His choice was finally made too.

After a minute, he leaned his head on Jinyoung's shoulder. “Hey. Can you do me a favor?”

“I'll try.”

“Can you stay with me for now? I'm not ready to face the ending. Not just yet.”

“If you need me, I'm here for you. But I'm not going to let you hide forever, OK?”

“That's fine.” He squeezed Jinyoung's hand one more time. “I'll face all of this tomorrow. But for now, let's just keep it as it started. Me and you. My best friend.”

0

Across the camp, Jackson half collapsed onto the grass, the last remaining bits of his soul feeling like they were being out of him. His shoulders started shaking, and it felt like a year's worth of ignored tears flooded his eyes, blurring the vision in front of him completely, distorting it into an even bigger mess than it already was. "No," he groaned low in his voice. "You told me.... you told me you were going to hear me out...why? Why did you make me believe that you would at least try to listen if you were already in love with someone else?"

“He's not,” Mark said calmly from beside him. “Come on, doesn't misinterpret it again. We only have another day left here, we don't exactly have time to sort out your epic misunderstandings anymore.”

“What do you mean that was a misunderstanding? You seem pretty ing calm for someone who just watched the love of his life face with another guy.”

Mark crouched down on the grass beside Jackson. “I trust Jinyoung,” he said simply.

“How?” Jackson asked, even though he knew how. He'd answered 'how' to Jaebum already, about getting things wrong five times being nothing in the face of getting an important thing right. But was that really true when one of the things you got wrong was more important than any of the things you'd ever gotten right?

“How?” Mark echoed. “He loves me. That's worth trusting everything in. Look, it's not like I want him to go around kissing everyone he feels like, OK? But I know he wouldn't do that. And because I know that, I believe that there's a reason for why he needed to do what he did. And if he really is just handing himself over to be Jaebum's pity party consolation prize? Then I love him enough not to let him.”

“Great,” Jackson said dully. “I'm glad you can trust in Jinyoung. He's a trustworthy guy. Me, on the other hand? Why should I trust that Jaebum loves me when I've given him absolutely no reason to?”

“You must have given him a reason to fall in love with you at some point. I mean, if he tried to move on from you to this extent, you must be pretty damn unforgettable to him.”

“For all the wrong reasons.”

“Wrong or right, they're still reasons.” Mark patted his shoulder. “Honestly, you obsess about Jaebum's feelings to the point where you don't even understand them anymore. If you thought properly for two seconds about your own, maybe none of this would have happened.”

“That's just because he's a thousand times more important to me than I am to me,” Jackson said weakly.

“That's not something you should be proud of thinking. Treating what he loves like garbage is the same thing as treating him like garbage. If you want him to trust you, you should treat yourself just as seriously as he treats you." Mark gave him a gentle rap on the head. "You're not worthless. And I know he doesn't think so either. So just give a chance to tell you exactly what he thinks of you before giving up, all right? You owe both him and yourself that much after all this time."