Never had I felt so lonely like this for all those centuries that I exist.

I’ve been dedicated to my duty as the guardian of Saphirrus, the butterfly kingdom. I love all the creatures and beings that dwell there with all of my heart. They were my life. They adored me in return. They gave me things I never asked of them.

Saphirrus was a very peaceful realm.. not until my sister came and destroyed it with her army of smelly goblins. That’s when I learned that she had been planning her revenge all this time. That sly and sneaky queen of hell! Misfortune had fallen to me.. to all of the Saphirrus beings..

She conquered our kingdom and turned it into an ugly domain. I cried for those poor Saphirran souls that I had not saved. It was my fault! I am their guardian! How could I leave them in that kind of disheartening situation?

The once glistening blue kingdom of Saphirrus is now a freezing hell ruled by my wicked sister. She had tricked me to open the forbidden gate of Lord Weiji. Half of my army of huge knight butterflies perished. The rest became part of the enemy’s army. My sister was invincible. She told me to leave the kingdom.

Years had gone by, decades.. centuries.. I had resented my immortality. I never stopped crying for those Saphirrans who lost in the battle, the innocent creatures who died without any faults and to my loyal subjects who supported me til the end.

I am immortal, yes. That is why I walked on through hundreds of dimensions endlessly. I never felt such painful solitude. I wish I was the one who got killed instead of the brave Saphirrans. Until the day came and I couldn’t take this any longer, I searched for Lord Weiji’s whereabouts for a long time.

I’ve traveled to various kingdoms and uninhabited places but my effort was in vain. The longer I lived, the more I despised myself. What will become of me? I have to end this suffering!

Finally, I found Lord Weiji in an unknown Isle in the heavens and pleaded for my instant death.

“I rather die to punish myself from letting half of the Saphirran population die in an unprepared battle,” I cried.

Lord Weiji apologetically gazed at me.

“Your immeasurable love for your people is already a consideration of forgiveness towards your fault,” he thundered. “I couldn’t grant your request. This I am truly sorry.”

This only means I have to live forever and continue my worthless existence. I would be forever reminded of my sin. Just thinking of it made me speechless. I don’t know what to do.

“On the other hand, I will make some changes for you to live life less painful as what you see it to be,” Lord Weiji added.

“You will be no longer known as the Saphirran Guardian, Ardora. You should be called according to what your heart has been showing.”

“What are you trying to tell me, my Lord?”

“Live peacefully as I send you to the world of mortals where HUMAN BEINGS live. There, you have to redeem yourself and be known as the Love Goddess. That world is chaotic beyond those mortal’s knowledge. Your duty is to help spread love and eliminate animosity among them,” He finally ended.

This is seen as a second chance. I felt less burdened. It was like I felt a little elated knowing that I could redeem myself again. I was given another Hope of living my life to a new perspective.

But half of me is still buried to the past. I can’t just forget what had happened. Time couldn’t ease the pain that I feel.  I am simply hopeless.

The mortal world is like my heart. A part of it looks so hopeless. The other part keeps the spirit of Hope.

What could have caused these differences here? I asked myself. Where would I start?

Of course, the mortals couldn’t see me, only the supernatural beings. The life of the ‘others’ as what I heard one human said. I had witnessed hatred, chaos, greed and lies devour most of these poor souls. They are completely different from the other worlds I’ve traveled. Yet, I am glad to see many of them trying to keep LOVE alive. Several made sacrifices. “Stupid” is how they call it. I perceive that it’s a negative name. Now my duty is to make sure that LOVE won’t disappear from their hearts.

I’ve found a spot in their world where I planned to settle myself for the rest of my life. It’s a beautiful and captivating area, unspoilt by man and untouched. I communicated with the ‘animals’ and the ‘plants’, this is not bad at all. Everything is starting to wash the pain I feel inside. Somehow, Lord Weiji was right.

One day, I’ve come across this foreign territory. I was contemplating by a riverbank when I saw a form lying unconsciously beside an oak tree. Flocks of birds surrounded the helpless form. They were not touching him. Just forming a crowd of circles around him. I could feel their solemn sadness. I approached them.

I found a man. No, he’s just in a human form like me. He’s extremely weak. I decided to nurse him back to life. Using my heart’s power, I shared him an amount of it to regain his consciousness. I placed my hand on top of his chest and tried to delve into his soul—I was going to find the cause of his illness.

It’s also PAIN. I almost felt my heart weakened as soon as I knew the cause. PAIN. An invincible enemy that dwells into our hearts. I couldn’t take his pain away so I just poured him some Love. The fowls surrounding us animatedly responded when they saw the man’s body moved.

For the first time, I felt so happy. I don’t know why. Perhaps I felt great after saving his life. It’s somehow pushing away the guilt I’ve been suffering from due to those Saphirrans’ death centuries ago.