The first thing Taeyong feels even before opening his eyes is the wet sand beneath him. Followed shortly by the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore and the salty smell of the ocean breeze passing by.

He takes a couple of deep breaths, letting the warm sun consume him as a smile spreads across his face. When he opens his eyes, the sight is one he’s familiar with and yet for the first time since he can remember, he finally feels content and happy.

Without much thought he rushes into the water with the next oncoming wave, a child-like excitement coming over him as he takes in every new sensation.

¤

After spending most of the day at the beach, Taeyong is sitting quietly by himself when the sound of a car honking repeatedly stirs him from the view of the ocean.

He looks over his shoulder and can’t hide the delighted feeling that comes over him when he sees Yuta. Which wouldn’t really be a big deal if it weren’t for the fact Yuta was dressed in an all-white tuxedo.

Jogging over to where Yuta is standing, Taeyong laughs as he gets a good look at him, noticing his car also has the ‘Just Married’ sign on the back and cans attached to the bumper to complete the whole look.

“I don’t know if I should be happy or embarrassed?” Taeyong laughs. Somehow finding the whole act very endearing even if it was cliché and cheesy.

“I’m so hurt right now, Taeyong.” Yuta pouts, clutching at his chest exaggeratedly. “We just got married and you didn’t even bother to dress up for me?”

“Oh…” Taeyong looks down at himself, taking in his plain outfit. He guesses he can play the part, he did just get married after all.

“Come on! This is supposed to be a celebration!” Yuta goads him on and in a blink of an eye Taeyong is also in a matching white suit.

“Better?”

Yuta nods happily and closes the distance between them with a sweet kiss. Taeyong can feel his heart flutter in his chest and lets out a little yelp when Yuta wraps his arms around him and carries him bridal style back to his car.

“Now let’s go celebrate in the best way possible!” Yuta says as he starts the engine.

Taeyong has no complaints and just lets Yuta lead the way, settling his hand on top of Yuta’s and smiling when he sees the matching rings.

¤

A few weeks pass and Haechan is helping set Yuta up to the system with some difficulty from the elder.

Throughout the whole day Yuta had been having continuous coughing fits and he could see the worry still lingering on Haechan’s face as he patted his back gently.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Maybe we should go see the doctor,” he suggests, steadying Yuta in his seat and placing a blanket over his legs to keep warm.

Yuta coughs to clear his throat before replying, “And let them tell me what I already know? I’m dying, Haechan. That’s life, and I’m fine with that.”

“Yeah, except that you’re not.” Haechan says, gaining a look from Yuta to be quiet but he just continues, “I know you’ve already come to terms with the inevitable, but you could always—”

Yuta stops Haechan from finishing what he knows he’s going to say by placing his hand over his and giving him a weak smile. “Let’s talk about this later, okay?”

Haechan can only give a resigned nod and reaches for the remote with the NCT label on it. He gives Yuta one last look of concern before pressing the Dream button and watching Yuta slowly close his eyes and relax into his seat.

¤

Once in Neo City, Yuta and Taeyong drive out to a nearby cliff where they can overlook the city. They perch themselves on top of Yuta’s car and talk till the sky has darken and the only source of light is illuminated from the city and reflected onto the ocean in different hues.

Since becoming a full-fledged NCTzen, Taeyong is always a happy burst of energy. Unable to stop moving around the whole time they are together, and it makes Yuta pleased to see the other be so carefree with himself.

“So, how has it been? Y’know since passing over.” Yuta asks after some time, watching Taeyong wiggling his toes in the cool sand.

“It feels so different, but in a good way. Everything just feels so real now,” Taeyong tells him as he faces Yuta, arms spreading wide happily. “I love it here. I just love it!”

Yuta chuckles amusingly and shakes his head. “Isn’t it the same thing from before though? Not much should have changed, right?”

“I know,” Taeyong moves to be in front of Yuta, hands settling on his thighs and giving them a firm squeeze. “But now I live here! I just… I feel so alive!”

“You look alive!” Yuta agrees with a smile.

Taeyong laughs softly and leans closer to him, lips brushing against each other’s. “Be with me.”

“I am with you.” Yuta cups Taeyong’s cheeks, fingers slowly trailing down to his neck.

“That’s not what I mean,” Taeyong tilts his head up to meet Yuta’s eyes seriously. “When it’s your time…pass over and stay here with me.”

Yuta’s hand stills and he looks at Taeyong with hesitancy, “Yong…can’t we just enjoy tonight, please?” The very conversation he avoided having with Haechan was now making its way back to him.

“It’s almost midnight,” Taeyong points out. “In ten minutes you’ll be gone and then I have to wait a week just to see you again? I hate it.”

“I…you know I’m just a visitor. That’s how these things work.”

“For another couple of months, then what? Poof. You’re gone? Yuta, you could have forever if you chose to stay here.” Taeyong insists.

Forever? Who can even make sense of forever? Yuta thinks with a shake of his head, not liking where this conversation is going.

“We’re not going to discuss this,” Yuta tells him. He thought he made it clear to Taeyong he wasn’t planning on being a full-timer. As he gets off the car, ready to leave, Taeyong catches him by the hand.

“Hey,” Taeyong pulls till their chest to chest, letting their hands lace together in front of them. “Yuta, it’s real. This is real.” He gestures to the rings on their fingers and Yuta can’t distinguish whether the feelings stirring in his stomach are good or bad.

“Taeyong…that was just me helping you out.” He argues, knowing his excuse is weak.

However, it doesn’t stop Taeyong’s face from falling and he releases their hands. “But you married me.”

“T-To help you pass over!” Yuta stutters out, feeling his resistance begin to shake. “As an…act of kindness.”

“It’s not so kind to leave.” Taeyong swallows, hating that his eyes are getting watery as emotion swells up in his throat.

Yuta ignores the twist of guilt he feels for once again being the cause of hurting Taeyong and instead moves to leave.

Taeyong stops him though, drawing him back and staring deeply into his eyes. “Look, I’m sorry…I just…this, I now have this chance to live my life. We can have this chance. I want to share this experience with you.”

“I’ve made my choice.” Yuta says firmly, releasing himself from Taeyong’s grip and moving away dismissively.

“Yuta, don’t let the guilt of your wife not being here stop you from trying to find some happiness. It was her choice—” Taeyong doesn’t get to finish as Yuta turns around sharply and jabs a finger at his chest.

“You’re pressing it, Taeyong. Stop.” 

Taeyong ignores Yuta’s warning and bats his finger away. “I get that you’re probably hurt she’s not here with you. That she chose to leave and not to stay,” he continues, “but you shouldn’t be wracking yourself with guilt because of a choice she already decided on without you.”

“No, you don’t get it!” Yuta snaps, hitting his hand against the hood of the car and silencing Taeyong from making any protests. The car dents from the force as Yuta lifts his hand up and can feel himself shaking, but not from the impact. He runs his other hand through his hair to calm himself down before piercing his gaze back to Taeyong.

“Fifty years. I was with her for fifty years.” He stresses, feeling his eyes prick with tears and an ache in his chest tightly forming. “That is half a lifetime. You can’t begin to imagine the bond, the commitment, the boredom, the yearning, the laughter, the love of it. The f