Ordinary Love

The sun is down and the streets are painted with the same colour as his hair, soft and pinkish, peach and lavender at the very end, and he smiles at it, remembering how it looks, how much he wants to let his fingers tangled around flocks that don't belong there.

He is already waiting for him, the twins bowing to him as if someone new, and he also greets him, skinny jeans and striped blue and white shirt: he looks delicious with an apron around his waist and Seungyoon finds it hard to resist the urge to undone the lace on the back, wrap his long arms around his hips, but he smiles at his smile and his eyes are so bright, so full of happiness, waving good bye to the kids, who walks by his side now, talking excitedly about their shared day at school, and he listen to them eagerly, counting all the times they mention his name, memorizing the sound of his voice in the song he has sung to them and that now they are singing back to him on their way home.

Kang Seungyoon has never thought that losing his father would carry so much joy (his father was never one to stay at home, so when he died there were little recollections of him, of them together as a family, so the pain was gone quickly and the twins don’t even remember his name, now under their mother’s – Lee Namwoo and Lee Jungwoo) but it is how it is and he is not sorry. Not when he knew how badly and mistreated his mother was under his gaze, and they are free now, free and happy and it feels strange and, most of the time, for him, this feeling has a name.

He has never been a morning person, but bringing the kids to school is his main occupation, even if that means waking up at six and fighting with them to be feed and to be dressed, and to keep them entertained (and he sings to them the “Chilli Tuna Song” every day, never tired of it, singing together to start the day with energy). He has learned all the Mechaturn characters’ names by heart and play with them on the park every day. They walk hand in hand, talking cheerfully, all of them excited about the same thing; seen Juju-saem again.

Obviously that’s not his real name, but it’s easy for the kids to remember, to pronounce it (even when Kim Jinwoo isn’t that hard, he finds it cute, so fitting to him, and so he keeps calling him that way, because when he does, he pouts cutely, dimples in display and his heart skips beats but, even if it hurts, he adores the view that he gets).

Today they are wearing accidental couple outfit and he laughs, pointing at his green hoodie that matches perfectly with his green jumper, and they both are on frayed jeans that look just the same.

“We look like a couple!” he exclaims, puzzled as if done in propose, and Jinwoo stares at him in awe, his precious eyes showing stars and gold shine inside them. But he doesn’t answer, only giggles at his silly remark and he looks even better, with the first ray of sunshine crashing on his brown orbs and his titters fill the classroom.

The first time he has met him was on the first day of Namwoo and Jungwoo's new school. He had skipped the instruction day (too bring and always the same in the end) and was a little lost, not knowing where to go or the face of his little twins brothers teacher’s face, but a question was thrown to the right person and they met by change (Jinwoo was also new and lost, even when he did go to the presentation's day, he didn’t know his own way, and Seungyoon found him enchanting, endearing, with deer looking eyes and a smile that gleamed brighter than any star).  In the end, he was the teacher and, together, Jinwoo trembling slightly nervously at the prospect of his very first class, but giggling adoringly at his brothers’ attics and listening to their unbalanced singing, they found the way to the classroom and Jinwoo also found his way to Seungyoon’s heart.

It wasn’t love at first sight, even if Seungyoon likes to pretend it was, but he felt for him gradually; just like normal people do.

It was an ordinary love, like the plot of one of those dramas his mother watches; the old brother who falls for the one teaching his siblings he has to take care of. And every day brought a new thing about Jinwoo to learn, a new shade to paint his smitten toward him.

The way to his job is short, listening to all the songs that talks about him, even when his name isn’t mentioned, all the love themes are about Jinwoo now, and he sings under his breath, the air filled with a spring that is coming earlier this year, flowers that blossoms under his touch, petals flitting in the air, spreading the melody of their sweetness, and Seungyoon wants to tell Jinwoo about it all; how the pink tone of the cherry flakes is the exact same as his bright hair (and how badly he wants to touch it, to kiss the sky where he stands).

Working isn’t boring anymore since he has come to his life a few months ago. Since he has met him, all the days that before blended into one and the same, have turned into something new and precious, something special, something he can treasure and memorize and dream about it at night, smiling at him openly, not having to hide the way he shakes, all flattered by his mere presence; the touches he has given him (hands that meet halfway, caresses that happens by accident) lingers on his flesh and his hands smell like the creams he uses (peach and champagne and he didn’t buy the same, it was all a coincidence).

When the sun settles down again, he knows it time to get back to where his heart belongs, running a bit because Jinwoo once said that his flustered cheeks looked cute and he wants to hear that again (also he is late, too).

Jinwoo is waiting for him in the playroom, the rest of the kids already gone and they are there on their own, all alone.

“Where are the twins?” he whispers, noticing that something is going on and Jinwoo counts to ten before answering.

“Ready or not, here I come!” and then, facing him, smiling almightily. “We are playing hide and seek” he explains, his precious dimples in display and he tries to find them while talking to him.

Jungwoo is hiding beside the cushions on the floor, and it only takes them a few seconds to hear his laugh. But Namwoo is better than his brother (older, wiser, more careful while playing). Jinwoo looks under all the other scattered teddy cushions and inside the lockers on the far wall, in the little kitchen and in the small bathroom, but he isn’t in any of these places and he is getting concerned (Seungyoon enjoys the show, sitting and giggling with Jungwoo at his side, hands pressed together, smiling at that teacher that both simply adore).

“Isn’t Juju-saem lovely?” Jungwoo asks, smirking at his brother as if knowing something, lips curbed up and glistening, eyes torn between the two adults. “I like him the most” he confesses “but I think he likes hyung better” he adds, shyly, a little puzzled, but then, suddenly awake, his hands landing on his tights “but it’s alright if he likes you better because you like him so much! He makes you always smile, that means that you love him, right?” he asks, curiosity bubbling in his six years mind.

“Yes, you are correct,” he says, cheerful, rubbing his hair affectionately, lovingly, thinking how amazing it is that his little brother has known something that an adult doesn’t (and that adult is the one bothering his heart and his brain, the one who is still looking for Namwoo).

“Should I tell Juju-saem that Namwoo is hiding where the flowers are?” and Seungyoon nods and lets his brother go and snitch the hint to his favourite teacher, to spend together another second (and with that, it will be eight minutes more than he has had to be there with him today too).

Jungwoo holds hands with Jinwoo and, for a moment, Seungyoon feels it, the torn dripping on his chest, but then both of them are laughing innocently and it's a sound from above, and he sinks into it, letting it settle inside his eyes and ears until this is all he can sense and notice, until his voice is all he can hear (and all he wants to hear, too).

They come back followed by the crackles of Namwoo, who has been found, but who has won, been the last one to be discovered. And, like this, they ask them both to play one more game before coming home.

“I’ll count” offers, joyful as ever, Namwoo, and runs to the corner and starts “One, two, three…” aloud. Jungwoo sprints around the room, trying to find somewhere to blot out.

As their matching, unplanned outfit, they also find themselves hiding on the same spot, behind the springy column of plastic colours, not big enough to cover them both, so Jinwoo pines him against the soft material, his back laying there and he has never been so close to him, his hands nearly gracing his and his breath is warm against his skin (and he prays for his glasses not to become steamy, blurring his precious face into a mess of nothingness).

When he perceives steps coming their way, Jinwoo comes even closer, his chest colliding against his and he wraps his arms around him as he has dreamt of, his head just under his eyes and he can see the natural color of his hair, a pretty black coal that would look great on him as well.

He moves by mistake and, like that is how his first kiss happens. It’s more like a quick touch of colliding lips, but peaches sneak inside his tongue and it’s all he can taste, and it has to be his lip balm, the one sticking on his lips like a second skin.

Jinwoo doesn’t wipe his mouth viciously as he has always pictured (only on his nightmares, though), but smiles apologetic to him, acting then as if nothing has happened. But when he catches his hands it’s not an accident, it’s not a mistake (it feels so right it has to be wrong at some point, but not now) and they are bigger than he imagined them, long fingers decorated with silver, thin rings, and they are rough, as if used a lot, as if doing handiworks and he wonders how it would feel to be touched by them, calloused all over his body.

But as soon as it happens, it dissolves into a memory of something else, like clutching snow, it melts, and they are found by Namwoo, who cries their names, running up and down and the spell is broken, tiny bits of glass that cute deep and raw.

“I’ll see you all next Monday!” Jinwoo says, accompanying them to the exit door and closing the school grounds before departing, leaving to drive back home. Seungyoon finds it very bothering, a wasted chance but he can’t be mad at his little brother, who won’t understand it, so he fakes a big smile and buys ice cream to shut up their mouths, sulk and sad and Jinwoo’s skin is all he can feel touching his hands.

It’s not until later, when his mother is back and he is free again, with his phone on his lap and a song playing hard against his ears, that he notices the little envelope shining on the screen.

“Seungyoon-ssi, would you mind to come and meet me?” he reads aloud, blinking at the characters, unknown number and unknown meaning, and he is astonished when he realizes who has sent it (there is only one person who still calls him Seungyoon-ssi even when he has begged him to stop with it but “You call me Juju-saem, it’s just fair” and he has agreed only because, well, it was Jinwoo smirking at him, and he is weak when it comes to him, always).

He runs (actually runs, not to be cool, but Jinwoo has been waiting for him for so long; he is pretty worried that he must have left by now) but when he arrives where he knows (expects) him to be, the lights are on and he enters the school fields again (and it feels weird to come there without the kids).

Jinwoo is leaning against the wall beside the main door and the light catches on his hair and it looks like a halo; as if an angel has come to greet him and Seungyoon is conscious that he has been blessed.

Jinwoo looks so ethereal and he is lost on his eyes, glistening like diamonds and he stares into them until, like in the game they were playing earlier, he is found by Jinwoo’s lips kissing its way to him, holding him still,  his hands clasping the hem of his shirt slightly. He presses his soft lips against his plump ones and it feels like magic. Seungyoon eyes are closed but, even then, he can see him, the smile that lingers on his face and that is evergreen, and his heart thumbs melodically.

“I wanted to do this since this afternoon, but I felt as if I lost the change then, with the kids around and all...” he murmurs, utterly sorry and ashamed.

“And I wanted to do this," he says, kissing him again, gentle and in a slow pace, just skin grazing, "since the second week of knowing you. I liked you and, little by little, I felt for you. But it was an ordinary love until it wasn’t any more” he whispers back, his lips touching his cheeks and it’s so warm, so adorable, his face flustered and his eyes wide and big. “Because you are not ordinary, Kim Jinwoo” and he spells his name complete and he shivers inside his arms, his head on his shoulder.

“Neither are you, Kang Seungyoon. You are nothing but ordinary” he says and, tiptoeing, he kisses the top of his head “you are different, special, and I felt for you since the start”.