" they say am hopeless and its my fault , these feelings should have stopped , but what am i a robot"

i wish i can be machine that forgets , a software that can be updated with a better me , but i am only a human that has been involved with a hopeless love. 

being called a friend hurts , but i always stay away from that line that i should never cross , and although it hurts i can nver stop or turn away

"after 4 years of being friends and me being friend zoned i decided to start dating i was already 17 and i thought that am wasting my time but i couldn't do it i could't fall in love with another man,one day while we were talking i asked him if you find a girlfrien that you love her so much and she asks you to stop talking to me well you do it, he said how is it possible to stop talking to your sister, part of me was happy that he will stay by my side but the other side was torn uo by the word sistar that word that become my enemy.

so one day i woke up and had decided that am gonna start fresh , am gonna try my best to stop talking to him and if there is any chance that can make a fight i want to fight him and end all my misery, and that's what i did that day while we wrw talking i started a fight with out any reason , and i cried the whole die , in the same night he called me and said

"were you crying , why does your voice sound weird , are you crazy , am sorry , you must have had a bad day and i didn't notice would you forgive me i really hate having a fight with you'

and that's when i started crying on the phone like an idiot he didn't do anything after all, i did everything on purpose , and the real problem was that through the whole day i was crying because it was our first fight ever and because i missed his voice , and because usually when i have a fight with anyone he is the only person that can comfort me

and in the moment i saw him calling i felt like the happiest girl alive.