Seulgi’s heart rumbles like angry thunder, but no lightning strikes the skies.

She’s always been a calm storm – she’s always been both the livid tempest and the helpless wood boat caught in the oceans.

Her chest doesn’t feel as tight as the first time she ever debuted, though, nor the second and not even the third. But it still squeezes just enough to remind her tomorrow is a day made of promises.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, she debuts as Red Velvet’s Irene & Seulgi.

Tomorrow, is a day she promised in a silent whisper, in a silent winter night, in a silent training room.

Tomorrow.

(She wonders if she’ll feel lonely without Yerim and Sooyoung’s banter filling the silence or Seungwan’s warm smiles filling the cracks in their will.
She wonders if she’ll feel exposed without her defences all high and steady.

She’s never felt lonely with Joohyun unnie before, so she hopes no.
She’s never known how to protect herself when Joohyun’s eyes meet hers.)

(Like chirping birds, Joohyun is the forever promise of a better tomorrow.)

(Of tomorrow.)

She lies on the floor of Sooyoung’s room with open arms, her own room too small for that. She watches the pretty star stickers glued to the ceiling glowing faintly in the low lights.

If she’s scared, she’s not terrified.

If she’s nervous, she’s not paralysed.

Her mind wanders through the years, goes back in time and pains her into watching her younger self struggle, learn and heal.

“Is she still alive?” She hears Yerim ask, a hint of teasing to her tone. “She hasn’t moved a millimetre the past thirty minutes. I counted.”

She could picture Sooyoung’s bright eyes as she laughs. “She’s meditating.”

“Leave her be you two, she’s just nervous,” Sengwan scolds, though her amusement is not well concealed.

Seulgi reaches to take off her new spongebob socks, balls them and throws them at the trio. The sound of their shrieking as they scramble out of the queen sized bed makes her shake with silent laughter.

They some more, but are soon enough out of the door one by one to get some food.

Seulgi’s eyes close, her lips curled.

__

Joohyun’s heavy pants could be heard filling the room the moment the music halts to a stop.

There is a comforting familiarity to it.

A moment like this like so many times before.

It’s a movie still, Seulgi swears to herself. With light dripping Joohyun’s skin a gold and silver armour, and her eyes rock hard diamonds determined, and her body shaking with exertion –
and Seulgi’s seen this film before.

Every day for years and a few heartbreaks.
Never enough moments like this.

Every day for the rest of my life, she hopes and swears to herself.

Her lips turn naturally into a smile as she claps, the plastic bag hanging to her wrist ruffling loudly with the movements and alerting Joohyun she’s back from her trip to the grocery shop down the street.

It makes the older woman turn to the door of the training room, and instantly, her smile is mirrored with a brighter one.

Rock hard diamonds, melt.

Joohyun’s out of this world when she smiles, enthralling like galaxies, beautiful like greek-time goddesses, singular like the love of all her lives. Seulgi’s heart sings songs, shouts out of the roofs. Her cheeks redden and she chokes on her own breaths, because love tastes like her mother’s garden’s spring spices and sometimes, she’s scared she can’t handle it.

But if she can’t, they could.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“A minute or so,” Seulgi confesses sheepishly, walking in and to the corner of the room to settle on the floor. “Is this what we’ll practice tonight?” She asks, piling five choco bread packets on top of each other on the floor and dropping two cans of apple juices next to the tiny mountain they make. “You’re so good at creating choreographies, unnie. You should tell the teachers, they’ll help you learn more.”

Joohyun joins her on the floor after picking a light orange towel. She pats her neck dry and thanks Seulgi for the warm water bottle she offers her.

Their fingers brush, she falls in love a little deeper.

“I don’t think they have the time to, but maybe once after we debut?” Her breathing still laboured, she leans back against the bench and watches her younger friend softly. “For now, I’m content with just the two of us. Thank you for practicing them with me though. It’s huge to me.”

Seulgi looks at her like she grew a third eye. “Don’t be ridiculous, I love dancing with you. I feel honoured you shared them with me first before anyone else,” she grins, ripping open a choco bread packet so loudly and messily she startles them both. They laugh. “Sorry.”

Silences falls as easily as always, companionable and gentle.

For a while, they just enjoy the way their hands fit into each other’s.
The way their chest is warm as affection crashes onto them like Jeju Island waves.

Joohyun’s dizzy.

Joohyun’s captivated.

Loving Seulgi’s like breathing underwater, and even in outer space. My God, it feels good, she feels new, she feels whole.

It’s a lifetime away, a lifetime behind them, that day she found Seulgi hanging to a railing, crying so hard the world stopped.

But they’re together now, closer than then and lovers forever.

Joohyun’s so ing in love.

Seulgi eats messily, she watches her and laughs. She kisses chocolate off the corner of . “Such a big baby.”

“Yah!” Seulgi whines, pouting and blushing and so pretty to Joohyun and only for her. “You keep on doing this!”

It makes the older woman laugh again. “Do what? Kiss my own girlfriend?” She raises an eyebrow. “Are you complaining? Should I stop?”

Said girlfriend’s lips purse into a tight line. “No,” she mumbles and looks down, blushing vividly because she’s still not used to being someone’s someone, let alone Joohyun’s.

(Joohyun whose thumb is caressing the back of her hand like she’s fragile glass. Joohyun who makes her heart burst like fireworks, yet complete and full.)

(Joohyun, Joohyun, Joohyun.
Lover.)

She longs for a hug, suddenly. Another kiss if she’s lucky.

“Sometimes, I still can’t believe we’re together, unnie. It’s unbelievable.” She says, dropping her half eaten snack and resting her head against her knees to watch Joohyun. “I’ve come so close to lose you, to lose this – Red Velvet.” Her dream’s no longer nameless; it feels weird to say their group’s name. “Sometimes I still have to pinch myself just to check if i’m only dreaming.”

Joohyun’s chuckles fill her lungs yet again.

“Don’t laugh, unnie, you don’t know,” she says, but smiles all the same. “You are all I ever known. This life. You and this life we’ve built. I am not strong enough to start over without you. Without Seungwan, Sooyoung. Yerim.”

It’s impossible.

(She doesn’t have to.
She never had to.)

“Don’t look so sad, Seul,” Joohyun’s eyes soften. With a small sigh, she shifts closer until their thighs brush and their souls shudder. She brings their intertwined hands to her chest and kisses the back of her sweetheart’s hand. “I think you forget that I would have stayed with you no matter what, no matter how. You forget this was meant to be, us, Red Velvet, and everything else.”

It has always been them.

When Seulgi cried, Joohyun cried. When she sank, Joohyun followed.

“Besides, it’s all over now, and we get to debut soon, together.” Joohyun grins and reaches to brush a strand of wandering hair behind Seulgi’s blushing ear. She’s so beautiful, her Seulgi, so perfect. “I do know,” she promises. “I also know we’re alright now, and I prefer focusing on that.”

Focusing on how warm Seulgi’s cheek feels under her palm, how kind her eyes are.

How easily she leans forward.

“I...” Seulgi takes a shuddering breath, almost trembling under Joohyun’s blatant fondness. “I locked the door, Hyun.”

Hyun smiles tenderly, nodding as she whispers, “good.” Their noses brush; Seulgi’s lips part as if to make her heart thunder with desire. “Seul. I’m going to kiss you.”

The words echo in the room heavily. Seulgi’s pupils dilate, then her eyes close.

At first, their lips meet each other unmoving. Both of Joohyun’s hands are cupping her cheeks, and she’s hot like campfire, melting like marshmallow, sweet like caramel. Then they finally move and it’s not the first time they kiss, but it always feels like it.

She’s dazed yet aware of everything around them. Joohyun’s tongue pushing into , her strong arms gently pushing her down to the ground, the weight of her body on hers and the rolling cans of apple juice hitting the foot of the bench – it’s all too much and not enough at the same time.

She needs more.

But –

“Seulgi,” Joohyun sighs as she breaks the kiss, only leaning back so their eyes meet. She gulps, tasting love behind her teeth. “Let’s debut together someday, too. Just us. Promise me.”

Seulgi looks dazed, eyes still trailed on her lips. She wets her own distractedly and nods, “I promise,” she says, surging forward to kiss her again.

One day definitely.

__

Tomorrow.

Seulgi’s eyes open again after a while. The stars on the ceiling shine brightly, indicating it’s deeper in the night already. She sighs deeply, feeling warm all over her body.

There’s a knock on the door and she turns her head to find Joohyun peeking at her from the door, eyes curved brightly.

“I’ve been told my girlfriend needs me,” She teases as she steps in.

Seulgi’s heart rumbles like angry thunder, but no lightning strikes the skies.

She’s always been a calm storm – she’s always been both the livid tempest and the helpless wood boat caught in the oceans.

Joohyun’s always been the sun right after the wreckage.

Her chest doesn’t feel tight at all, though it fills with memories and secrets and midnight training room kisses. It still squeezes just enough to remind her yesterday is a day of made promises.

Yesterday.

Tomorrow, she debuts as Red Velvet’s Irene & Seulgi.

Tomorrow, is a day she promised in a silent whisper, in a silent winter night, in a silent training room.

Yesterday.

(She wonders if she’ll feel lonely without Yerim and Sooyoung’s banter filling the silence or Seungwan’s warm smiles filling the cracks in their will.
She wonders if she’ll feel exposed without her defences all high and steady.)

(She’s never felt lonely with Joohyun unnie before, so she knows no.
She’s never had to protect herself when Joohyun unnie’s eyes meet hers.)

(Like chirping birds, Joohyun is the forever promise of a better tomorrow.)

(Of yesterday.)

“Hey.” Seulgi sits up and leans against the wall facing Sooyoung’s bed. Joohyun takes place right beside her. She shuffles closer and rests her head on her taller girlfriend’s shoulder, linking their arms.

--

Seulgi feels her chest burn.

Joohyun, Joohyun, Joohyun.
Partner.