Kris is in somewhat of a panic. Talking on the phone with Junmyeon is one thing; it’s easy to act cool and confident when he’s not actually face-to-face with whoever he’s talking to. Meeting him, on the other hand, actually seeing him in front of him after nearly two years, is something else entirely. He had agreed to the date immediately, of course, because he misses Junmyeon desperately, but he’s also starting to realize that the prospect of seeing Junmyeon again is somewhat terrifying.

He can’t exactly call Junmyeon right now, and somehow, he gets the feeling that none of the other EXO members will be remotely helpful either. He has all their numbers written down (he was told to delete them all, but it wasn’t like anyone was going to check his notebooks to see what was actually inside them), but he can already envision what would happen if he called one of them: inevitably, regardless of who he called, he would end up talking to all of them at least once.

Not that Kris doesn’t want to talk to his ex-members, because he wouldn’t really mind it, but he also doesn’t feel like being laughed at by eight people right now, which will unquestionably happen if he calls any of them. So he settles for being laughed at by only one person, and calls Luhan instead.

“Yo, what’s up?” Luhan greets in lieu of a normal “hello.” Kris rolls his eyes, but it also brings a smile to his face because it’s always nice to hear that Luhan still hasn’t changed at all.

“Hi Lu-ge,” Kris replies, stalling because it’s suddenly difficult to talk about what he actually called to discuss. “How have you been?”

Kris can practically hear Luhan’s eyes rolling. “I know you didn’t call me after three weeks of silence for small talk, Kris Wu.”

“Sorry,” Kris apologizes sheepishly. “I was...preoccupied with other things.”

“Does ‘other things’ translate to ‘Kim Junmyeon,’ by any chance?” Luhan asks sweetly.

Kris groans. “Was it really that easy to tell?”

Luhan laughs. “I’m only messing with you. You forget that I talk to Minseokkie every day. He might have told me that Junmyeon had a bit of a crisis over you a few weeks ago, so I figured the same happened with you.”

“I should’ve guessed,” Kris mutters.

“Communication is the key to any relationship!” Luhan chirps, and Kris is certain that Luhan is only saying it to annoy him.

“Anyway,” Kris says, trying to distract Luhan before he can go off on a tangent about his relationship (it happens way too often). “There was an actual reason I called. I kind of have a date today?”

Luhan is quiet for a moment. “A date,” he clarifies. “Like, one-on-one with another person.”

“Last time I checked, yes, that would constitute a date,” Kris responds, mostly to humor him.

“Just making sure,” Luhan says, a smirk evident in his voice. “I wasn’t sure you knew what one of those was.”

“Lu-ge, really,” Kris sighs. “The point is, I’m meeting Junmyeon for the first time since I left and -”

“Junmyeon?” Luhan interrupts incredulously. “You really are something else, Kris Wu! You tell me you’re going on a date out of nowhere and conveniently forget to mention that your date is with Junmyeon?”

“Um,” Kris says eloquently. “Surprise? I’m meeting Junmyeon for lunch.”

“If I weren’t so proud of you, I’d still be yelling at you,” Luhan informs him. “But I’ll let it slide this time. Minseokkie will be so happy! Our Fanfan and Junmyeonnie, finally going on a date!” Kris is sure that if Luhan were with him in person, he would be pinching his cheek right now.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kris grumbles, trying to pretend like he’s not pleased about Luhan’s approval. “But Lu-ge, I have no idea how to act around him.”

As Kris had expected, Luhan laughs. “Who knew you could be nervous like this? What happened to cool city guy Kris who didn’t even care as his image crumbled?”

“Ge,” Kris practically whines, belatedly feeling a little embarrassed at how desperate he sounds. “Please.”

“Kris, if we’re being honest, I really don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Luhan says, finally becoming serious. “Junmyeon has always been so mature. And you - well, you can be tactful when you need to be. You’ll be fine, once the conversation gets going. Just remember, if you start talking about, you know, your departure, listen to everything he says and don’t argue with it. Because he’s right. It doesn’t mean your point of view is invalid, because I guarantee he understands it perfectly well. But his is valid too, okay?”

Kris knows he’s speaking from experience, so he replies with a quiet, “I know, Lu-ge. Thank you.”

Before they say their goodbyes, Luhan adds one more thought. His voice is soft and fond as he speaks. “I’m really happy for you, Kris. For both of you. You deserve this.”

~~~

Kris walks into the little restaurant and his eyes immediately fall upon a figure standing in the corner, heavily bundled up in an oversized jacket, face almost entirely covered by a muffler. Regardless, Kris is too familiar with Junmyeon, even after all this time, to not recognize him immediately.

Junmyeon seems to recognize him too, because he jumps a little before walking over slowly. Kris feels like all the air has been out of his lungs as Junmyeon finally stops in front of him. He’s certain their heights haven’t changed over the past two years, but he feels like their height difference is greater than he remembers it to be.

“Hey.” Junmyeon is the first to speak, and Kris isn’t prepared for the wave of emotion that floods through him at the sound of Junmyeon’s voice, even though it’s muffled by his scarf. Hearing him through the phone or through his headphones just isn’t the same as the real thing.

“Hi,” Kris manages to croak out. “You’re here.”

Junmyeon’s mouth is covered, but his eyes light up in a way that Kris knows means that he’s smiling. “Yes. And so are you.”

“Yes,” Kris repeats. He internally winces at how awkwardly he’s behaving. “We should, uh, find somewhere to sit.” He gestures to the closest table and clumsily pulls a chair out for Junmyeon to sit.

Junmyeon does so, and upon sliding the muffler off his face so it rests around his neck, smiles gratefully at Kris. Kris feels incapable of breathing for a moment; he’d almost forgotten how radiant Junmyeon’s toothy smile is in person. “So Kris, how have you been?”

“Good, I’ve been good,” Kris replies. “I definitely wasn’t freaking out over this meeting at all, that would be crazy.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Junmyeon honest-to-god giggles, and Kris kind of wants to die on the spot. “It’s a good thing too, because I definitely didn’t freak out either. And I definitely didn’t spend three hours trying to figure out what to wear until Jongdae yelled at me and called Tao for help, that would really be ridiculous, wouldn’t it?”

Kris suddenly feels a deep sense of relief; Junmyeon is just as nervous as him. “Yeah, it definitely couldn’t have been Tao who helped you,” he jokes, “because you look great.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Junmyeon warns, letting out a genuine laugh.

“It’s a little too late for that, unfortunately,” Kris counters with a grin. “Questionable clothing choice was always a popular topic in the EXO-M dorm.” He belatedly realizes that it might be too early in the conversation to be bringing up those memories already, but Junmyeon’s smile only grows bigger.

“It’s still a popular topic now, in fact,” Junmyeon informs him. “Although Luhan’s songs are always strong competitors.”

“Let me guess,” Kris smirks. “Chanyeol and Baek keep blasting ‘Lu’ at indecent hours.”

“As if we could have expected anything else, really,” Junmyeon sighs, but there’s a fond smile on his face. “It’s mostly to annoy Minseok-hyung, you know - he still gets so embarrassed every time he hears it.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Kris says dryly, trying to keep a straight face before they both burst into laughter a second later. It’s so comfortable, he thinks as the conversation continues to flow easily. It’s almost as if nothing has changed. He asks about how the others are doing, about how they’re liking Canada and the tour in general.

Junmyeon is happy to answer him, readily describing the members’ feelings about the tour and about their stay in Canada. Kris learns that they’re all really loving Canada even though it’s freezing cold and that performing on tour is extremely tiring but a lot of fun. He listen to how when the fans get too excited, they tend to disregard the fact that the members are consumed with worry for their safety, which is frustrating and upsetting.

The topic switches to the relationships within the group and overall group dynamics. Sehun and Jongin still mostly just cuddle together a lot, and occasionally, Junmyeon finds them sharing a bed because they fell asleep together (“But nothing like that has happened between them yet!” Junmyeon clarifies hurriedly. “They’re still too young!” Kris has to hide a grin at how motherly Junmyeon sounds).

On the other hand, Baekhyun and Chanyeol still love to spend all their time together and terrorize everyone else, especially poor Kyungsoo (“Though theyhave learned to keep the volume down in their bed,” Junmyeon admits, reddening a little at the thought. Kris thinks it’s adorable).

They all try to Facetime or Skype Yixing as often as possible, though Jongdae often monopolizes that time (“Not that we blame him,” Junmyeon comments, smiling wryly. “It’s been really tough for both of them.” Kris just nods in both sympathy and understanding).

And while Minseok obviously maintains their primary contact with Luhan, all of them keep tabs on the activities of each of the former members (“Some of us more than others,” Junmyeon mumbles, flushing again. Kris grins fondly; of course Junmyeon keeps the closest eye on all the members).

Somewhere between ordering their food and actually eating it, Kris finds out that the members don’t officially know that Junmyeon is with him today, but truthfully, they’re all well aware of what exactly is going on and send their best wishes. Kris is suddenly overwhelmed with affection for his former bandmates. He knows it’s an impossibility, absolutely out of the question but - “I wish I could see them all,” he finds himself blurting out.

Junmyeon just smiles a little sadly. “I wish you could too.”

~~~

When they’ve both eaten their fill and Kris manages to convince Junmyeon to let him pay, they wrap themselves back up in their winter wear and head outside. They walk side by side, their hands brushing together, but neither of them brave enough to make the first move and actually link their hands together. Halfway down the street, Kris suddenly can’t prevent himself from bringing up something that’s been nagging at him for months. “Junmyeon, does Jongdae still have nightmares?”

“What?” Junmyeon turns to stare at him, looking slightly bewildered at the seemingly random question.

Kris shifts uncomfortably. “It’s just - that night you were drunk, you said that Jongdae had nightmares about Yixing leaving and I just wondered, does he still have them?”

Junmyeon sighs heavily. “Sometimes. It’s gotten better, actually, even though Yixing didn’t even come here with us. It’s sad, but I really think it might be because he’s just gotten used to Yixing not being around. I’ve tried to get him to talk to me about it, but he usually just tries to smile it off.” He looks at Kris consideringly. “Why the sudden curiosity?”

Kris swallows hard and looks down, suddenly incapable of meeting Junmyeon’s eyes. “The night you told me about it, you compared it to me leaving you behind. And ever since you said that, I’ve thought about it every day, because it’s my fault in the end, isn’t it?” He forces himself to look up again. “I was the catalyst. No one thought of leaving before I did, and now it’s a genuine fear that haunts all of you.”

“Kris,” Junmyeon murmurs, his gaze sharp and unwavering. “You did what you thought you needed to do. And it hurt. Of course it hurt. You were - are - our family, and you left us all behind. How could we not be upset about that? How could we not be angry?” Kris wants to say something, anything, to defend himself, but he remembers Luhan’s words: Junmyeon is right, after all. Junmyeon’s expression softens as he continues, “But even through all our anger and hurt, we understood your reasons for leaving. And we never saw you leaving as the reason the others left too.”

It’s all opposite, Kris thinks. He should be the one comforting Junmyeon, because he’s the one who caused the hurt in the first place, but here they are, their roles reversed. “How are you so forgiving?” he wonders aloud, slightly in awe. “How can you be so calm when I’ve done nothing but cause you distress? How do I deserve you?”

“Because I know you,” Junmyeon explains gently. “I know you didn’t leave because you wanted to hurt me or any of us, and I know you still feel guilty to this day about it.” He laughs lightly. “There are times when I really want to hate you, you know that? But I just can’t. In the end, I care about you too much to begrudge you your happiness, and if leaving was what you needed, then I can respect that. And of course, I still have so many fond memories of you to hold onto, and that makes it so much easier.”

Junmyeon looks so beautiful right now, his eyes sparkling in earnest, his cheeks pink from the cold air, bundled up in his puffy winter jacket, and Kris has never felt more in love than he does now. “I really want to kiss you right now,” Kris murmurs, gazing down at Junmyeon. “Will you let me?”

Junmyeon flushes even pinker. He looks stunning. “What - what if someone recognizes us?” Junmyeon asks worriedly, putting an arm out to keep Kris from coming closer.

“No one has so far,” Kris reasons. “We’re pretty well-covered.”

“We’re in the middle of the street, though,” Junmyeon protests weakly, still trying to prevent Kris from drawing nearer. “Not to mention we’re two males. Someone might complain.”

“We’re in Canada, Junmyeon,” Kris reminds him with a small smile. “One of the most liberal countries in the world. Literally no one will care.”

Junmyeon bites his lip, eyes uncertainly watching their surroundings. The street is completely deserted, but Kris doesn’t blame him for being concerned. “But -”

“Hey,” Kris interrupts, pulling Junmyeon’s chin up gently so he’s looking at Kris. “If you’re really against it, I understand. It’s just, you look really, really beautiful right now and I couldn’t resist telling you what I’m feeling.”

Junmyeon looks up at Kris, and Kris is suddenly very aware of how profound their height difference really is. He looks tiny, Kris thinks, but still powerful. Delicate, but still full of strength. “Do it,” Junmyeon whispers, so softly that Kris barely hears him. “Please.”

Kris brings his hand up to cup Junmyeon’s face and Junmyeon rises onto his tiptoes as Kris leans down, his previous shyness apparently forgotten. Right before their lips meet, Kris pauses, wanting to make sure Junmyeon really wants this. In the end, it’s Junmyeon who closes the gap between them, and every thought in Kris’s mind is swept away to be replaced by how good it feels to finally, finally kiss Junmyeon.

He doesn’t know how long they stand there swaying in their spot on the sidewalk, Junmyeon still on his tiptoes, Kris’s arms wound around Junmyeon’s waist, Junmyeon’s hands in Kris’s hair, both of them pouring the emotion from two years of separation, plus all the years of being together before that, into the kiss.

When they finally break apart, Junmyeon’s cheeks are more flushed than they’ve been all day and his lips are red and shiny. Kris is sure he looks similar. Junmyeon offers him a tiny smile. “I love you,” Kris blurts out. He didn’t plan on saying it, but he means it all the same. Kris wonders if it’s weird that he feels nervous; they’ve already confessed to each other over the phone, of course, and it’s not like they never said the words to each other on broadcasts and in interviews during his EXO days, but there’s something nerve-wracking about saying it in person and meaning it like this.

Junmyeon’s smile widens. “Imagine that,” he teases. “The cold city guy has a heart after all.”

“Don’t bring that up,” Kris begs. “Come on, I was being serious.”

Junmyeon’s eyes are shining with mirth. “I’m only teasing,” he reassures Kris. “I’ll let you in on a secret to make it up to you.” He stands on his tiptoes again so he can whisper in Kris’s ear, his breath ghosting across Kris’s skin as he speaks. “I love you too.”