It was the morning of Christmas eve, and Kihyun was about to rub his skin off with how hard he was washing his hands. He had just finished washing the dishes, and it's safe to say he was a little lost in his own thoughts. 

He had planned everything for a month now, and he needed this night to go perfectly. 

He sighed heavily, letting his head fall in defeat as he held onto the edges of the sink, hot water still running, steam dancing around him as it formed crystals on his defined face. 

"Why're you wasting water? Bad hyung~" Minhyuk interrupted Kihyun's thoughts. 

"Why are you wasting you breath" 

"This really needs to stop. If you don't do this tonight, I will throw both of you out the window, I swear" Minhyuk demanded, as he leaned against the counter, eyes studying his troubled best friend. 

"I am doing it tonight, whether you tell me to or not" 

Kihyun realized he'd been nagging a lot the past month. He was coming down like a fierce thunderstorm on all the members, except one. He felt terrible for getting annoyed and being on edge, but he couldn't help it. 

"Come on, don't let your confidence die now. You'll be fine. Besides, it's Christmas eve, and I won't let your moodiness ruin the night" 

Minhyuk smiled brightly at him, and Kihyun couldn't help but smile back. He knew Minhyuk was right, but damn was this nerve wracking. More than going on stage, more than anything.

 

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Changkyun was playing Overwatch when Jooheon tackled him, snatching his headphones and nearly sitting on the younger male. 

"Yah! I died because of you!!!!" 

"Too bad. Kihyunnie Hyung needs you to help him in the kitchen" 

Changkyun stared at him blankly. A month ago, he wouldn't have minded helping his favorite hyung in the kitchen, in fact, he looks forward to it. But something changed a month ago. Kihyun had been acting weird around him. He would go from being the sweetest person in earth towards Changkyun, to being downright savage.

 And the savagery always followed after anything happened between the two. If Changkyun's dimply smile blessed Kihyun's eyes, the older would melt for a moment before masking it in savagery. If Changkyun hugged him, he better hope Kihyun didn't have anything in his hands, because it would stab him. 

What confused Changkyun was that Kihyun never nagged at him. He was never annoyed by Changkyun, like had been so frequently by the rest of the members. Changkyun wasn't sure if the boy hit his head somewhere, or if he was having a crisis. 

He sighed heavily, unsure of what to expect once he walked in that kitchen, but he would help his hyung either way. 

 

"Hyung, you called for me?" 

Kihyun froze upon hearing Changkyun's velvety voice from the doorway, his heart racing faster. 

"I-I didn't call for you..." the older fiddled with the chopsticks nervously, half wishing Changkyun would leave so he could cook without having a heart attack. 

"Oh... Joohoney said you needed my help"

"Jooheon? That--" he almost whispered a curse, but stopped himself, noticing that Changkyun was still there, and damn did that boy have sharp ears. "No, I don't need anyone's help" 

Changkyun sighed, realizing he had fallen in a trap. Then a sly smile formed on this coral lips as he made his way toward the small man, who was desperately trying to blindly find a knife. 

"You'll get hurt if you play with knives like that" 

Kihyun turned to stone. He could've swore the last time Changkyun spoke, his voice was much farther away, but now... now it was right behind him. But what's this... was Changkyun's hand on Kihyun's shoulder? 

Kihyun glanced at the boy next to him, his face radiating hues of pink. Changkyun's hip was touching his own, and he was handing Kihyun a knife. A smile bordering sweet and smug curved his lips, and Kihyun felt his soul leave him. 

"I'll help you cook. You have a lot to do"

Kihyun would have stayed composed, but Changkyun's hand was now snaking down his back, his head cocked to the side, and his chocolate eyes smiling at the smaller boy. 

Kihyun would be lying if he said he wasn't intimidated by the maknae at times. When his confidence oozed, Kihyun became mush under him, unable to hold his composure. 

"Get me the eggs then" Kihyun pointed the knife at the younger, jabbing the air between them as if he would poke Changkyun with it any moment. 

When Changkyun finally stepped away, Kihyun let out a shaky breath. His tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he uttered more curses under his breath. Jerking his neck, he made an attempt to regain his confidence. 

 

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How Kihyun managed to cook everything while holding himself together was a mystery to him. He could feel Changkyun's eyes follow him every now and then. Every time Kihyun sang to calm his nerves, Changkyun moved so rhythmically, as if his voice had reached his bones and flowed in his veins. 

So when all the food was done and the night was getting started, Kihyun was certain he would lose his mind. 

He was in the closet, putting together different outfits just to veto them as unsatisfactory. He wanted to look his best, his iest, his handsomest tonight. 

And his tallest. 

 

He decided to go for a casual look, with a cozy sweater, because if Changkyun hugged him, the sweater would make it feel nice. He wore his insoles, he had to make sure he taller than the maknae if his plan worked. He wore skinny jeans, with just the right amount of rips in them, because that's what Changkyun liked. He made sure his hair looked extra soft and fluffy, just in case Changkyun touches it. 

 

This would be the night, he was certain of it. 

 

That is, until Kihyun noticed how touchy the maknae was that night with everyone, but him. Every time Kihyun tried to speak to him, he would make an excuse and go the other way. Usually Changkyun would at least hug or have some skinship with Kihyun, but tonight was not the night. 

Seeing Changkyun sitting on Wonho's lap made Kihyun crush his paper cup. When Changkyun blew a kiss to Minhyuk, Kihyun nearly threw a cookie at them. But this... this was too much. Seeing Changkyun kiss Jooheon on the cheek... no. Kihyun knew it was for a dare, but he didn't care. Those were the lips he wanted to feel, yet someone else was. 

Changkyun was driving Kihyun to his edge, and the older wanted to either punch someone, or dig himself a hole and hide in it. His mind blocked out all the indistinct chatter, his eyes focusing on a stain on the carpet. 

He figured he read Changkyun all wrong. He misread his feelings and his flirting for something that didn't exist. Now more than ever, he felt defeated and lost. 

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Changkyun scanned the room, but Kihyun was nowhere to be found. He checked the bathroom, the closet, and all the rooms, but he was nowhere. 

A slight panic set in as he realized he may have pushed too far. Worried, he asked the members if they had seen him anywhere, but no one knew. 

Changkyun called him, but there was no answer. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he threw his head back with guilt. 

He checked the rooms again, because Kihyun was small and maybe he had missed him. But he was gone. 

 

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Kihyun cradled himself, his knees pressed to his chest as tears strolled down his soft cheeks. He had locked himself in a practice room which held his "plan". 

 

'How can I be so stupid, why would he ever like me back'

 

Although Kihyun was usually confident, doubts filled every inch of his small frame. He couldn't help but think how happy jooheon looked when Changkyun's lips met his cheek. The lovingly soft smile that Changkyun radiated immedietly after the kiss. And the comfortable atmosphere between the two. 

Kihyun felt like he had been shattered, broken into a thousand pieces. A part of him felt betrayed, while the other buried him in doubt. And so there he was, crying to himself while his heart ached and every last bit of confidence escaped him. All in the room that was meant to be a surprise for Changkyun. The room that would start a new chapter for them. The room that he had worked so hard to bring to perfection. Yet there he was, alone in darkness, under the mistletoe which hung on the ceiling. 

Kihyun shook when the knocks from the door broke his thoughts. The deep voice that followed made him lose his breath, but his heart suffered from the sound. 

"Hyung?" 

Kihyun stayed quiet, only sniffling quietly in his sweater sleeve. 

 

"I know you're in there... please open the door" 

 

Only silence followed his questions. 

 

Even if Kihyun lost his confidence, he would never leave his stubbornness behind. He could stay there all night, silent, without giving in. 

"Why did you leave? Hyung... talk to me" 

Maybe because you were all over everyone except me

 

"Hyung come on, everyone's waiting for you. You shouldn't have left like that" 

Kihyun clenched his fists, unsure as to what he'd done to the universe to deserve this torture. He spat replies in his thoughts, until he heard the door unlock. 

Light spilled in the dark room as the door creaked open. Changkyun stood at the frame, his darkened silhouette holding a large set of keys. 

He cautiously made his way to Kihyun, who still had his head buried in his knees. He tried to place a comforting hand on Kihyun's arm, but it was shoved away harshly. 

"Hyung.... I'm sorry. I know why you're upset" 

Kihyun refused to look up. Changkyun couldn't possibly know why he'd abruptly left, or why tears stained his milky cheeks. He could never understand the pain he'd caused him over something so trivial. He just simply couldn't, and Kihyun recited that in his head like a prayer. 

"Hyung I need to show you something, can you please look up?" 

Kihyun shook his head slightly. He could feel tremors waving through his body because Changkyun was in front of him, and his deeply rich voice escalated it. 

Kihyun knew Changkyun wouldn't give in either. He wanted to make a bolt for it, but he also hated not saying what was bothering him. 

"Go show it to Jooheon... why show it to me" his voice was shaky, but sharp. It pierced through the silent room, almost startling Changkyun. 

"It's not something I can show him. It's only for you, hyung" 

Kihyun fell into silence once again. He heard Changkyun sigh deeply, followed by some shuffling. Then he realized Changkyun's legs were touching his own, and he felt a warm, soft hand touch his hair, trailing it's way down to his jawline. 

He said he wouldn't give in. He swore it. But Changkyun's touch was addicting, and he fell into it. He let Changkyun lift his face, gently and slowly. It was when Kihyun's eyes were lifted from the darkness of his knees that he saw just how close Changkyun was. His arm was stretched beside Kihyun face, to balance his weight as he leaned closer. And closer. And closer. Until his breath moistened Kihyun's lips and his sincere eyes wiped the doubts away. 

Changkyun closed the distance, pressing his lips against Kihyun's, gently, softly, and ever so carefully. 

Hot and cold flowed through Kihyun's body as he processed what was happening. At first, Kihyun didn't move. It's as if Changkyun's lips paralyzed him in euphoria. But Kihyun was a slave to Changkyun's touch, and he drowned in his lips. He tilted his head to get a better angle, and he could feel the younger smile against his lips. 

Changkyun finally broke contact after what seemed to be an eternity. He had the most beautiful smile on his face, and Kihyun nearly died. 

"That's what I wanted to show you... And it's only for you, Kihyun-Hyung" Changkyun spoke softly, wiping the remaining tears that had tainted Kihyun's face. 

"You really hurt me earlier" 

"I'm sorry, I was nervous... I was hoping by acting like that, you'd make a move first" 

"Changkyunnie... if you do that again, I'll punch you" 

"I'm really sorry, forgive me?" The younger pouted cutely, making his puppy face. 

"You ruined my plan, I can't forgive you for that" Kihyun jerked his neck in annoyance, feeling his confidence fill him again. 

"What plan?" 

"Turn on the lights" 

And Changkyun did. And when he did, the ceiling and the walls lit up in a thousand sparkling stars, and the walls changed to hues of dark purples and blues. The mistletoe above Kihyun lit up softly, radiating a gentle golden light. 

Changkyun gasped as the beautiful sight before him filled his eyes. He tried to speak, but only silent air left his mouth. He had never expected this. 

"Y-you did this? For me?" Surprise and excitement flooded his usually deep voice. It wasn't often that Im Changkyun's voice cracked like this, but when it was... it was so worth it. 

Kihyun smiled, finally standing up. He chewed on his bottom lip, and Changkyun nearly lost his mind from the overwhelming sight of everything. 

"Merry Christmas, Changkyun" 

"Hyung.. I don't know what to say. I love it so much"  

"Then don't say anything" Kihyun said softly, pointing to the mistletoe above his head.  Changkyun smiled brightly, as he closed the gap between them again, taking Kihyun into his arms. His lips cought Kihyun's once again, still smiling, as they kissed endlessly in a room that held their universe. Where they held each other close, wrapped in the others comforting warmth, engulfed in each other's love. Because that's what their their universe was. 

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