It’s a Friday when Nayeon first sees her. The girl trudges through the almost empty halls of the JYP building in hopes of getting in a little practice before she heads home. It’s late, a little past midnight, and she figures no one will be in the practice rooms at this time, so she’s surprised when she hears a song, a Japanese pop song for that matter, playing as she opens the door. She steps further into the room and hides behind a wall when she sees a girl, who seems to be a year or two younger than her, dancing. Nayeon doesn’t recognize her which is surprising because she’s been at the company for almost two years so at this point she figures that she would at least recognize every trainee’s face by now. However, she can’t seem to put a name to the face she’s looking at. What she can tell, though, is that the girl is incredibly attractive and incredibly good at dancing. There’s something in the way she moves that captures Nayeon’s attention and she continues to watch the mysterious girl until the music stops and what’s left is only the heavy breathing and sound of water being chugged. It takes Nayeon a few seconds to remember what she was doing there, but there’s a strange feeling in her stomach and she doesn’t really feel like practicing anymore. When the music starts again, Nayeon hastily slips out of the room, making sure to close the door gently on her way out.

She decides to ask Jihyo about the dancer instead of Jeongyeon. She figures that since Jihyo has been at the company for practically all her life, she’d have a better sense at knowing who everyone is. She also knows that Jeongyeon would probably spend the entire conversation accusing Nayeon of forming a crush on the new trainee, which obviously can’t be true because she literally just saw the girl dance for a few minutes, crushes can’t happen that fast right? But she doesn’t really want to deal with the teasing, so the next day, Nayeon pulls Jihyo aside after their singing lesson.

“Did any new trainees start recently?” Nayeon tries to play it cool, but she’s doing that thing where when she’s nervous, she looks at everyone else but the person she’s talking to.

“I think there’s a few new trainees from Japan,” Jihyo answers. At the mention of Japan, Nayeon’s eyes go wide. That would explain the choice in song. “Why, is there something wrong?”

“Oh, no nothing, everything’s fine, just peachy actually!” the older girl laughs nervously. Jihyo’s usually large eyes narrow as she stares at Nayeon.

“Yeah, and pigs fly. What’s gotten you so antsy?”

“Nothing! Can’t I just be concerned of the well-being of JYP and its wonderful trainees?”

“Just last week you were complaining about this, and I quote, ‘poor excuse for a company,’” Jihyo deadpans.

“Well they shouldn’t have taken away my favorite lip gloss!”

“You were putting it on during our singing lessons! What were you planning to do, kiss the mic?” the younger girl retorts, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, you never know when the love of your life could walk into a room, you always have to be prepared. And Park Jihyo, I saw that eye roll! Have you ever heard of respecting your elders?”

“Not when said elder is acting suspicious.” Jihyo’s eyes narrow even more.

“Who’s acting suspicious?”

Nayeon groans. “What do you want, Jeong?”

“Jeez, good afternoon to you too, unnie. But no changing the subject, who’s being suspicious?” Jeongyeon probes, joining the conversation.

“No-“

“She is.” Jihyo jerks her thumb towards Nayeon. “She pulled me aside after lessons to ask me about the new trainees and then when I asked her about her sudden interest she got all weird.”

“Oh does someone have a crush?” Jeongyeon teases with a sly grin.

Nayeon rolls her eyes. “This is the exact reason why I tell you nothing. There are certainly no crushes happening.” Jihyo and Jeongyeon stare at her. “Fine, you brats. I wanted to practice more yesterday so I stayed back and when I went to our usual room there was this girl there dancing and she was really good and maybe I’m just a little bit attracted but it’s not like an actual crush, I’m just curious,” she lets out in a breath.

“So what I’m hearing is that you have a crush.” Jeongyeon wiggles her eyebrows.

Nayeon turns to Jihyo. “Please make her leave.”

Jihyo sighs. Being a mother of two teens is hard, especially when they’re both older and should be the more mature ones. “Enough you two.” She turns to Nayeon. “I only know the names of two new trainees so far. One is Sana and the other is Momo. Momo is supposed to be a really good dancer, so maybe that’s the girl you saw yesterday.”

Nayeon smiles. The name is fitting; a cute name for a cute girl.

“If you want to know more about her, you could probably visit one of the language classes later on since she’s probably having to learn Korean now.” Jihyo looks at the blue watch sported across her left wrist. “Actually, I’m pretty sure one is about to start.”

“Finally, a helpful response! Thanks, Hyo,” Nayeon grins.

“No problem, unnie.”

“Not you, Yoo Jeongyeon. Well, I guess I have somewhere to be now.” Nayeon blows a kiss. “Gotta go, bye kids!”

All the other two girls could do was wave at their oldest friend’s back as she runs down the hallway, chuckling and shaking their heads.

 

 

 

 

 

After around seven minutes of trying to find the language room, Nayeon finally stumbles upon it. Granted she’d never had to visit this room before, she feels like she did pretty well. Just as she’s about to peak through the window, the door flies open and Nayeon is knocked backwards.

“I’m so sorry!” she hears and sees a hand stretched out for her to take.

“Why don’t you watch where you’re- I mean it’s no problem!” Nayeon quickly gets to her feet. Standing in front of her with wide, apologetic eyes is the dancer from last night.

“I’m really sorry,” the dancer repeats, pulling back her hand that Nayeon didn’t take. Nayeon, seeing that, is instantly filled with embarrassment and regret.

“It’s really no problem,” Nayeon reassures, rubbing her forehead. She’ll have to remember to ice that later. Seeing that this is her chance to introduce herself, Nayeon puts on her best, charming smile. “I’m Im Nayeon.”

“My name is Hirai Momo,” the other girl responds, a bit hesitantly. Nayeon’s eyes widen dramatically. Of course Jihyo was right, the person she was talking about was Momo. The foreigner, noticing Nayeon’s reaction, continues slowly. “Sorry, I don’t know Korean very well. I’m from Japan and have only been in Korea for around two months.”

Breaking out of her trance, Nayeon shakes her head. “Your Korean is really good!” There’s an awkward pause as the girls stare at each other, not knowing what to say next. “Well look at the time, I have to go put my clothes in the dryer. I’ll see you later!”

With that Nayeon speed walks away, forcing herself not to turn back around and apologize to the girl. She can already feel her face heating up from a mixture of nerves and embarrassment. Finding the nearest restroom, she pushes open the door and face palms herself as she looks in the mirror. That was the first time Nayeon had been so flustered, especially in front of a stranger. “Hirai Momo,” she whispers. “What are you doing to me?”

 

 

 

As the fates would allow, Nayeon starts to see Momo everywhere. Whether it be at the vending machine or at the dorms, wherever Nayeon looks, Momo seems to appear. It doesn’t help that a couple weeks after the whole door incident, Nayeon finds Momo and another trainee Nayeon doesn’t recognize sitting with Jihyo and Jeongyeon in the cafeteria. Nayeon debates walking away when she hears Jihyo calling out her name. Putting on a smile and hoping the butterflies in her stomach stop fluttering, she begins to walk towards the girls.

“We were just talking about you,” Jeongyeon starts as Nayeon sets down her plate next to Jihyo’s. Thankfully she’s sitting the furthest away from Momo. “Momo here was just telling us about how she smacked a door to your face. I wish I was there to see that.”

Nayeon rolls her eyes at Jeongyeon’s comment and then looks at Momo who’s sporting a small smile. “I’m still really sorry about that,” Momo begins.

“Hey, I told you not to worry about it. Accidents happen,” Nayeon reassured.

“Where was that attitude after I accidentally bumped into you the first time we met?” Jeongyeon asks, offended. “You only forgave me after I bought you lunch!”

Nayeon sticks her tongue out at Jeongyeon who immediately reciprocates the action.

“You two stop fighting in front of our guests!” Jihyo scolds. The girl sitting next to Momo lets out a high pitched laugh.

“They remind me of me and you, Momo,” the girl grins. She turns to Nayeon. “I don’t think we’ve met before. My name is Minatozaki Sana, I’m a new trainee here along with this one,” she continues, nudging Momo who immediately nudges her back.

Nayeon can’t help but to feel a pang of jealousy when she sees how close Sana and Momo are. “Im Nayeon. Are you from Japan too?”

“Yeah! Momo and I actually signed our contracts together which is how we first met,” Sana explains. “Now we’re pretty much inseparable.”

“I understand. It must be hard leaving your home country to come to a new one where you have to learn a new language and all that,” Nayeon says sympathetically.

“I don’t know what I would do without Momo,” Sana admits.

The girls let out a collective ‘aww’ and Momo grins, throwing an arm around Sana’s shoulders. “So cheesy,” Momo teases. “But you know I feel the same way.”

Nayeon’s stomach churns.

 

 

 

Jeongyeon pulls Nayeon aside after lunch as they begin to walk to wherever their schedule has for them. “You like her, don’t you?” she teases.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Nayeon hopes her acting classes can get her through this.

“Oh come on, I was watching you the entire lunch. You were shooting Sana daggers every time her and Momo so much as brushed shoulders.”

“That’s just my natural look, Yoo,” Nayeon argues. “Look, I’m even giving you the look now, it’s not an exclusive thing. And how can I like someone I barely even know?”

“Love works in mysterious ways, unnie,” Jeongyeon advises. “If it makes you feel any better, I think you and Momo would look cute together.”

“It doesn’t make me feel better.”

“Well I tried,” Jeongyeon shrugs. “I promised Jihyo I’d help her teach the younger kids the basic dance practice, so I’ll see you later.” She begins to walk away, leaving Nayeon standing in the middle of the hallway by herself.

“What, how come she didn’t ask me to help?” Nayeon yells.

Jeongyeon turns around, now walking backwards. “She said something about you being too distracted with your love life.”

“What love life?!”

“Exactly! Stop fighting your feelings and get your girl!” Jeongyeon shoots two thumbs up. “I believe in you!” With that she turns back around and runs off to the dance room.

Nayeon shakes her head. She can’t like Momo. She’s just attracted to the way she dances, that’s it. Anyone would be. Certainly it has nothing to do with the cute way Momo speaks or how she looks at people with utmost happiness or the way she can eat both her tray and Sana’s leftovers like nothing. Nayeon catches herself smiling while remembering the unique actions and characteristics that Momo has, but that smile drops when she realizes what that means. She has a crush.

 

 

 

The five girls end up continuing to spend their lunches together and by December, they’ve all become a lot closer. However, Nayeon can’t help but to feel bitter. As much as she’s been trying to drop hints to Momo about her ongoing crush, Momo may be the most oblivious person in the entire universe and now said person is going to be leaving for Japan to spend Christmas with her family. The girl’s flight leaves in three hours and instead of seeing her and Sana off with Jihyo and Jeongyeon, she’s been stuck at the JYP building for the past four hours trying to perfect the choreography for a song that her team will be tested on later that day. Sure she had already texted both Momo and Sana, maybe more so Momo, promises to call every day, but she wishes she could be there physically to hug them goodbye.

“Nayeon unnie, are you okay? You’ve been staring at the mirror and you’ve sighed at least seven times within the past three minutes we’ve been on break.”

This breaks Nayeon from her trance. She forgot her two team members were here. “I’m fine, Dahyun. Just a little stressed.”

“You counted the number of times she sighed?” Chaeyoung laughs.

“It’s kind of hard not to when it sounds like the most painful sigh I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, hi, still here,” Nayeon interrupts. “Let’s just get back to work.”

“Honestly I’m kind of worried too, unnie. I’ve never seen you this stressed before, not even when you and Jeongyeon unnie were caught eating ramen in the bathroom and had to see PD-nim,” Chaeyoung admits.

“I’m fine, kids. There’s just a lot going on right now.”

“Does this have anything to do with Sana unnie and Momo unnie leaving today?”

Nayeon furrows her eyebrows. “How’d you know?”

“It’s kind of obvious, unnie,” Dahyun admits. “It might also be the hottest gossip amongst the trainees right now,” she adds tentatively.

Nayeon buries her head in her knees. “Does everyone know?”

“I mean, everyone but Momo unnie it seems. I was talking to Sana unnie about it because she says you glare at her every time she so much as touches Momo.” Dahyun laughs. “You know Sana unnie doesn’t like Momo unnie like that, right?”

“I know, I just can’t help but to get jealous because of how close they are.”

“They have a special connection, I admit,” Chaeyoung says. “They’re in the same situation so they can relate well to each other, but that doesn’t make the relationship you have with Momo unnie any less meaningful.”

“It’s only 2:17,” Dahyun notes, looking at the clock hanging on the wall, “the unnies should still be in their dorm if they’re leaving for the airport at 3. You still have time to do something before they leave because we all know you’ll spend the next few weeks regretting not doing anything. And I also don’t think anyone wants to deal with a cranky Nayeon,” she adds.

“I’m gonna pretend like you didn’t add on that line about me being cranky,” Nayeon huffs. “But I can’t just leave, we have a dance to practice.”

“Unnie we’ve been practicing this dance since this morning, I’m pretty sure we have it down by now,” Chaeyoung whines.

“Don’t worry about the dance, unnie, just focus on getting your girl,” Dahyun chimes in.

Nayeon smiles at the two younger kids, grateful to have them. Getting up, she tugs the two of them to their feet as well and pulls them into a hug. “You kids are the best.”

“You know what they say, Dubchaeng gives the best advice.”

Nayeon throws her bag over her shoulder and walks over to the door, twisting the door handle when suddenly she stops and looks at the two girls, then shyly averts her gaze to her feet. “Are  you sure you girls are okay with this?”

“Huh? Of course we are unnie, we told you the dance is fine,” Dahyun answers, confused.

“No, not about the dance. But about me, you know, liking girls. I know you’re religious, Dahyun, I just don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Nayeon can feel tears threatening to spill, nervously awaiting their response.

She’s still looking at her shoes when she feels two pairs of arms wrap around her. “Don’t be silly, unnie. You like who you like, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Dahyun whispers sincerely.

“You’re the best when you’re yourself,” Chaeyoung reassures.

The tears fall, running down her cheeks. Nayeon pulls away, wiping hastily at her face. “Thanks, you two. I’ll be sure to make it back in time for our performance.”

Dahyun and Chaeyoung step back, letting Nayeon swing open the door. “We’re rooting for you, unnie!”

Nayeon gives one last wave before she runs out the door. As the door closes, Dahyun and Chaeyoung look at each other before high-fiving.

 

 

Nayeon makes it to the dorms in record time. She knocks on Momo and Sana’s shared room, hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. The door opens and she shoves her way inside, catching sight of Momo and Sana sitting on Momo’s bed, their pink and blue suitcases lined in front of them respectively, and Jeongyeon sitting on Sana’s bed.

“Unnie what are you doing here?” Nayeon hears from behind her, turning around to see Jihyo walking back from opening the door.

Her nerves catch up with her as she ignores Jihyo’s question and turns back around to face Momo. Silently she walks up to the girl and pulls her off from the bed. Before she loses her courage, Nayeon begins.

“It took me months to realize how much you mean to me, Hirai Momo,” Nayeon manages to squeeze out. “And I can’t let you leave for weeks without you knowing that somewhere between you hitting me with the door the first time we met to sneaking out to get snacks from the nearby convenience store, I started to develop feelings for you.” Nayeon stops, waiting for Momo to respond. When she doesn’t hear anything after a few seconds, she risks looking up and sees Momo just staring back at her with an expressionless face. Nayeon’s heart drops.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way and I’m sorry if I made this awkward but I just wanted you to know that-“

Before she can finish her sentence, Nayeon feels her chin being lifted up and before she can process what’s going on, she feels soft lips meet hers. An electric shock runs through her body and the kiss is over before she manages to make sense of what just happened.

Momo pulls away and looks Nayeon in the eyes, smiling. “I thought you’d never say it.”

 

 

It becomes their thing, as the days go by and their relationship starts to grow, to stay up in the practice room late at night after everyone has gone home. The room holds their secrets, hushed whispers of fears and shared dreams, tucked into the dark corners of the room. With the lights off and the two lying on their backs side by side, they share stories of their childhood and random thoughts about the world. Sometimes, if they’re in the mood, they dance to the newest pop song out. Other times, Nayeon pulls Momo up wordlessly and plays a slow song as they hold each other in their arms. Those are the times Nayeon treasures the most. They were just kids when they fell in love.

It all comes crashing down with the news of Sixteen. Suddenly Nayeon and Momo are pitted not only against each other but against their friends as well in a public competition that nobody wanted. With the pressure of being in either the Major or Minor team and the dream to debut, those late nights in the practice room together are instead spent with their respective team. Face-to-face interactions become less frequent and text messages become the main form of communication between the two.

This is why it pains Nayeon so much that when they finally do talk face-to-face, it’s when she finds Momo curled up into a ball, minutes after getting eliminated from the show. She doesn’t say anything as she holds Momo’s shaking frame against her, the sobbing girl’s head in her chest. An hour passes when Sana and Mina come in to check up on Momo before they leave, both also in tears. Jeongyeon and Jihyo sit for a while and share the silence with the couple before they leave for their team meeting that Nayeon is also supposed to be at, but tells Nayeon to take her time, that they’ll think of something to tell the instructor.

Momo finally breaks the silence with five words.

“I think we should break up.”

Nayeon doesn’t say anything. She just continues to stare at Momo’s swollen eyes and red face.

“Did you hear what I just said? I want us to break up.”

Nayeon opens and closes , trying to form the right sentence.

“No. That must be the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, Momo. I won’t let us.”

At this Momo explodes. “What do you mean you won’t ‘let’ us? I just got eliminated from a survival show that determined who would debut. This is it for me! You actually have a chance to do what you’ve always wanted and I’ll probably end up packing up my things and moving back to Japan by the end of the year. I won’t be good for you in the long run.”

“How could you even say that!? You don’t even know if I’ll make it till the end! I could be eliminated next week and this ridiculous fight would be for nothing. It’s always been me and you till the end and that’s how I want it to stay. I can’t do this without you, Momo. I don’t want to do this without you.”

“What if you end up debuting without me?” Momo’s voice cracks. “Then we’ll have to break up anyways. Might as well do it now.”

“I can’t believe you’d give up on us that easily,” Nayeon growls.

“You think this is easy for me? This is tearing me apart! But if you do make it, you’re going to have to choose between what you’ve been working towrds for the past seven years and me. Tell me right now, what would you choose?”

Nayeon remains silent.

“That’s what I thought. This is me choosing for you. Goodbye, Nayeon.”

It’s a Tuesday when the love of Nayeon’s life walks away.

 

 

Coincidentally, it’s also a Tuesday when Momo is brought back from elimination and put into the group as one of the nine members. It’s not a coincidence, however, that whenever Nayeon’s in the room, Momo isn’t, or whenever Momo stays late to practice Nayeon is one of the first ones out the door. It doesn’t take long until Jihyo, appointed leader, decides to do something about it.

“For the sake of the team and everyone else’s sanity can you please talk to her,” the leader pleads. They’re sitting on Jihyo’s bed in their shared room, just having moved into the dorm. Their debut stage is tomorrow and the girls are trying to enjoy the last bit of freedom before they officially start their journey as Twice.

“Shouldn’t she be the one to do something. She’s the one who broke up with me,” Nayeon replies stubbornly. “And what am I supposed to say when I do talk to her? ‘Thanks for breaking my heart but I’m still pathetically in love with you?’ No thanks.”

“I think that’s pretty good,” Tzuyu pipes in. “Honesty is always the best route.”

Jihyo turns to look at Tzuyu with a look that reads ‘you’re not helping much. Tzuyu just shrugs.

“You don’t have to bring up anything about your romantic relationship, but maybe actually talking and becoming friends again would help,” Jihyo encourages.

Nayeon sighs. “Fine. I’ll try.”

 

 

 

 

She had just fallen asleep when Nayeon feels someone shake her awake. Groaning, she turns over and checks her phone. 2:17 AM flashes brightly and as she squints, eyes adjusting to the light, she barely makes out Jeongyeon’s figure going around the room waking everyone else up.

“Momo’s missing,” Jeongyeon says, worry laced in her voice. “I woke up around thirty minutes ago and she wasn’t in bed so I assumed she was in the bathroom but she still hasn’t come back and I’ve checked the entire dorm. I’ve already woken up Manager unnie and she’s getting the younger ones up now.”

“Does anyone know where she may be?” Jihyo asks, turning to look at the older girls.

“Last night when Sana and I were talking to her she said something about nerves and how she needed to go back to the practice room,” Mina speaks up, “but we thought she meant sometime tomorrow.”

“Hirai Momo, what were you thinking,” Jihyo whines, rubbing her eyes.

“I’ll go,” Nayeon offers.

 

 

 

“I’ll check the room and text you if she’s in there,” Nayeon says, jumping out of the manager’s car.

She runs down the familiar hallways that holds the memories of her teenage, becoming sentimental as she remembers the moments she spent with Momo. Upon reaching the room, she collects herself and pushes through the door, standing back as she watches Momo finish her dance break. As the song ends, she steps forward.

“You could’ve at least told us you meant tonight, you know.” She stands a far distance away.

Momo looks at her through the mirror. “You all would’ve just tried to talk me out of it.”

“You know I would’ve come with you if you asked.”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t.”

A pause.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“A lot of things. Breaking up with you, not trying to make things better when I so badly wanted to,” Momo shrugs, “take your pick.”

Nayeon didn’t want to lie anymore. “It’s not okay,” she starts, “But I understand you chose to do what you thought was best and have moved on so I just want to start over. As friends.”

“But what if I didn’t,” Momo begins, “move on, I mean. What if I told you that I’m still as in love as I was all those years ago.”

“I’d say you were lying.”

Momo turns around and Nayeon is surprised to see tears streaming down her face. It reminds Nayeon that the last time they were in this very room together, Momo was crying because she wanted them to break up.

Nayeon walks closer and closes the gap between the two, pulling Momo into a hug. They stand there for a few minutes before Momo pulls away. “I thought a lot about that night I was eliminated and I tried to rationalize with myself that what I was doing was the best thing for the both of us, but I hurt you in the process and I’m-“

Soft lips claim Momo’s and Nayeon swears this is like deja vu.

“Stop apologizing,” Nayeon says, placing her forehead on Momo’s.

“So what does this make us?” Momo asks.

“Whatever you want us to be,” Nayeon answers. “But preferably girlfriends again because I’ve missed you so much.”

She’s about to go in for another kiss when her phone rings.

“That must be manager unnie,” Nayeon groans, “I was supposed to text her after I found you. She’s not going to be happy when we get back.”

“It’s okay,” Momo grins, “I got you back and that’s all that matters.”

 

 

 

Later the next day when they’re clearly exhausted from the lack of sleep, Nayeon will look around and see Momo and the rest of the members standing in front of their fans, and she’ll relax, knowing this is exactly where she wants to be.