hyukjae raises an eyebrow at donghae, who’s head is ducked, hiding behind his hair as he fiddles with the ball.

“tell me again, what did i say was the key to a float serve?” he says, frustration leaking into his voice.

“no follow through, no snapping of the wrist,” donghae says, running a hand to push his hair out of his eyes.

“and what did you do?”

“i followed through,” donghae says.

“how many times have we done this?” hyukjae says.

“i — i lost count, hyung,” donghae says. hyukjae pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.

“try again,” he says. he watches as donghae tosses the ball in the air, his arm poised back to serve, snapping forward. and his head drops when he sees donghae’s wrist snap forward.

“donghae!” he says. “this is not an attack! it’s a serve!”

“i’m sorry hyung,” donghae says. “it’s just a habit.” hyukjae lets out another deep breath to compose himself.

“yes,” he says and gives donghae a long look. “tell me, donghae. is your mind in the game right now? how much is your mind in the game? because i cannot train you if you do not care.”

donghae blinks several times before he looks away from hyukjae.

“i do care, hyung,” donghae mutters. “it’s just…”

“you were late for practice today,” hyukjae says softly. “you were late yesterday and left early as well.”

“i…” donghae says and swipes a hand over his eyes. “it’s just… i have school and i have all of this and i also have my friends to worry about and midterms are coming up and it’s just… it’s just a lot.” hyukjae slouches, the anger disappearing as quickly as it had appeared.

“donghae,” he says softly. “i gave you very little choice when i asked you to play for the team. if this isn’t something you want, isn’t something you’re willing to commit to, then don’t do it. don’t waste your time, don’t waste my time. if you don’t want to do this, don’t come back.” he looks up in time to see donghae with his eyes wide and stricken.

“hyung,” he says, biting a quivering lip.

“donghae,” he says. “make up your mind.” donghae’s face crumples and he slowly kneels, placing the ball gently on the ground.

“i…” he begins and then stops, swiping his hand across his face again. “i’m sorry, hyung.”

and then he turns and leaves.

hyukjae watches donghae leave with a heavy heart. perhaps he had expected too much. perhaps, like the foolish dreamer he had always been, he had thought maybe, just maybe, he could take nothing and make something out of it.

especially something with so much potential.

hyukjae gets to his feet, stopping in front of the ball donghae had left on the floor. he picks up the ball and stares at it.

with a roar, hyukjae tosses the ball in the air and smacks it, sending it flying across the court.

—

donghae doesn’t show up the next day.

hyukjae sits waiting in the gym for half an hour before he gives up and leaves. instead, he finds himself at his team’s practice.

he stands at the gym door, leaning against the door frame as he takes in the calming familiarity of the chaos of team practice. he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed this.

how much he’d missed the sounds of balls continuously bouncing on the floor of the gym, of the sounds of his team calling the ball and words of support. he’s almost weak in the knees with how much he’d missed all of this.

“hyukjae!” sungmin says the moment he spots him. hyukjae looks up and offers the team, who is now all looking at him, a small smile.

“hello,” he says. “just dropping by.”

“where’s donghae?” ryeowook calls. hyukjae blinks. he hadn’t realized that his teams knew donghae’s name.

“i gave him a break,” hyukjae lies as he steps into the gym. he takes a seat at the bench. he waves at everyone. “don’t let me interrupt. continue.” everyone gives him one last look before they all turn back to their drills.

hyukjae leans back against the wall and watches, trying to push away the thoughts of his failure from the forefront of his mind.

he zones out, the noise becoming nothing more than just white noise in the background. he longs to be in kyuhyun’s shoes, to be running and jumping once again with the team.

“how’s the training going?” siwon asks, snapping hyukjae out of his reverie. hyukjae glances over at siwon for a second before trainin