Next day, In the middle of the night, Tiffany woke up to the feeling of a weight on top of her, feeling her pillow deepening further as she senses something soft pressing against her skin, she slowly open her eyes and found her girlfriend on top of her, hair tickling her skin as she keeps trailing her small, feathery kisses at the crooked of her neck, going to the sides of her jawline, and down to the hollow of .

She knows exactly what Taeyeon wants but she couldn't find herself submitting herself to her like she usually does.

With a little strength she has, she brought her hands on her shoulders and pushes her girlfriend lightly “Tae, I'm tired" 

And she felt Taeyeon stop kissing her.

She sighed in relief when finally Taeyeon stopped and pulled herself up, but it only came a second because the next thing she knew, the woman on top of her pulled her shirt leaving her with her undergarment.

"I miss you, don't worry I'll do all the work I just need you right now, babe please?" It was almost pleading, close to begging, Tiffany used to hear it and relented by it.

However, Tiffany knows she’s not the same person that used to adore her girlfriend anymore.

Tiffany ran her fingers to her shoulder and then press her palms on her chest, stopping Taeyeon from claiming her neck once again, 

"I can't"

"But Fany-ah"

"I'm sorry Taeyeon, I can't"

"It's been too long, Fany" She whispers, locking their forehead "I miss you so much"

She takes a deep breath "Stop Taeyeon, don't force me to something I don't want to" The younger one said before she pushes Taeyeon from her and sway her legs for her feet to meet the ground, she stood up and walks outside their room, she leans on the wall and closes her eyes.

All the feelings that she has been suppressing for the past days has finally taken her over entirely. All the things that she was trying to figure out were finally getting its answer and she was scared how it has turned out. How could she fix these things when the only way to fix it is by breaking it more? How could she fix it when the only way to fix it is by letting her go?

For the past days, she has been thinking if this is just a phase of their relationship, that she feels like she and Taeyeon has come to the point where everything they do is becoming redundant, dull and immensely boring. That she and Taeyeon would somehow pass and overcome this state and would be back on how they used to be, the love they have to each other, the love Tiffany has for her. 

The way Taeyeon touches her didn't seem to be special like it always did before, it didn't send her a pleasure of tingle and a thrill of excitement, her sweet words doesn't make her flutter like it used to. Tiffany's heart doesn't yearn for her girlfriend's presence anymore, the kisses that she used to be addicted feels like just a kiss from a stranger she receive senselessly.

Everything that Taeyeon does didn't move her heart as it used to.

She stifled her sobs. 

Their bedroom door crack a sound as it lightly open. Tiffany stealthy brushes those tears that slip from her eyes, she tried to composed herself but the small sniffs that escape from her were evident even in the dark.

She could sense her girlfriend silhouette placing herself beside her and was leaning against the wall as well, they were sitting on the cold floor but neither of them says anything for the past minutes. She knows that this moment is inevitable, sooner of later Taeyeon will figure out that something is bothering her. 

They let the silence consume them for a while. it was dark, but Tiffany could still define the outline of their living room ahead of them. 

"What's happening with us Fany?" a sound from Taeyeon's voice rang weakly out of the darkness. "Tell me what's happening"

It was now or never. 

Tiffany closes her eyes as she speaks. "I don't think I can still do this" Tiffany started, dreading about the scenarios that could happen once she let it all out. "I don't think I'm still capable of doing this"

Nothing but silence. Nothing came right after but only the sound of weak breathes coming from Taeyeon was the only response she got after blurting out her words. But Tiffany waited, she knew the more silent Taeyeon grow the more it will get on her later on. But it was now or never, she needs to get this through. 

She swallowed hard. "I'm... I'm breaking up with you Tae. I'm sorry"

Again, with nothing coming from Taeyeon, Tiffany this time turned her head to look upon her, she caught Taeyeon's side profile but other than that, she couldn't define her expression since its too dark to find her eyes. 

"Please say something"

"For how long?" was the first words that slipped from Taeyeon and Tiffany didn't know how to respond to that. Taeyeon went on "For how long have you been keeping that to yourself?"

Tiffany took a deep breath, the calmness in Taeyeon's voice feared her more. "A while"

"A while huh" Taeyeon bitterly scoffs. "And you never even bother of letting me know?" Her voice starts to rise "So all of these cold shoulders that you're putting me through is because you actually feel cold with me"

Tiffany didn't know how to respond to that without hurting Taeyeon more. So she kept her answer to herself and let her understand by her silence.

"I never knew that you could be that selfish"

"I'm not sure on how to tell you, I'm afraid to tell you"

"I know somethings bothering you but I never... thought that... it's about... us"

Tiffany can only hang her head, she was guilty of all of these accusations and she knew better than to defend herself. "I'm sorry" Was all that she can say.

"So it's just like that?" Her voice cracks at the end and Tiffany heard her breath shakes as she sniffs. "We'll break up and what? Have you thought of the consequences? Because I sure as hell that this caught me off guard"

"I haven't but---"

"I think we should sleep" Taeyeon stood from the floor and fixes her hair. "Maybe tomorrow we'll forget about this and we don't have to face the consequences, its midnight, we can't think straight"

"Tae---"

"Goodnight, I'll sleep in the guest room, you take the bed"

----

Her alarm rang through the room and Tiffany stirred a little, she started to get her consciousness back as she blinks her eyes. The frame of the young version of Taeyeon and herself smiling was looking back at her from the bedside table. Tiffany closes her eyes again and move to sit. 

The smell of good food suddenly hit her senses and instantly bringing her to reality. She was in their bed, in the morning, and she was about to get up, with Taeyeon downstair, preparing their breakfast. The usual morning.

Like nothing happened. 

Nothing happened. Out of all the scenario that was playing on her mind, she never thought of this one. Tiffany inhaled a much-needed air before she made a trip to the bathroom, doing the usual routine before she goes downstair. Like nothing happen. 

She turns a corner and sees her girlfriend with her phone, talking with someone. Her eyes shifted to the table and there's one empty plate accompanied with foods on the side, clean utensils on top. She looks up again and Taeyeon was still talking on the phone, smiling and talking amusedly like everything was normal.

"Whatever, fine do whatever you want. Just make sure that you won't drag me on that" Taeyeon lowly chuckles a bit. "Oh yeah? lets see about that. Now I'm hanging up let's talk at the office later" 

All of that and still Tiffany didn't move an inch, she was standing near the table with Taeyeon on the other side when Taeyeon hung up the phone her body instantly grew stiffened.

"Hey, made you some breakfast." Taeyeon casually said and walk towards the chair and pulls it up, she looks at Tiffany and their eyes met. "Eat up before it gets cold"

"Taeyeon" Tiffany was not going to do this, what happened last night won't remain forgotten and Taeyeon should not act like this.

"What? Don't tell me that you were serious last night?" Taeyeon gave her a frail smile, and Tiffany shifted anywhere but Taeyeon to collect her thoughts. 

"Taeyeon I am"

"Can you please just eat?" There was a change in Taeyeon's expression and she was no longer on the mood. "Let's talk about that later on when you actually give thoughts about it. We can't just break up like that, for godness sake that's the most stupid thing to do, Fany" 

"And pretending that I still want this is not?" Tiffany countered back, Taeyeon instantly had her eyes on her and she was hurt by her words, but neither Tiffany would back down this time. "Pretending that everything is okay will fix us? Taeyeon I know what I'm doing and I am breaking up with you whether it means that I'm going back to square one"

Taeyeon shakes her head, her jaw clench "You can't be serious"

"I am serious"

"If you want some timeout then fine---"

"I don't need a timeout Taeyeon" Tiffany cut her with her firm disagreement. "I'm cutting all the ropes"

When Taeyeon didn't answer and started pacing on the kitchen, burying her fingers to her face now and then, Tiffany could see that she was mentally fighting herself not to break her cool, concealing her temper so hard that her ears were starting to flush. "You're not thinking straight, I think this has something to do with your promotion, isn't it? You're so stressed that you're unleashing it to me"

"Taey--"

"I'm off to work, my boss wants me early" Tiffany felt Taeyeon nearing her and kisses her cheek. Tiffany flinch from the sudden contact. "Our anniversary is in a couple of months away that might help you"

"I'm moving out," Tiffany said that with all seriousness but she heard Taeyeon walking away with a taunting laugh. That was not supposed to be a joke.

"See you later" 

And that's the end of it. Taeyeon left her just like that. Pretending. Acting like Tiffany was just pulling the biggest joke on her. Taeyeon was not going to easily believe her. She was on her way to her office expecting to come home with her. 

Tiffany climbs up the stairs and let herself intake the whole view of their bedroom, perhaps she'll start taking out her clothes from their closet, yes, she'll start with that, with a sigh, she decided to screw her work for the day.

--------------

Jessica combs her hair frustratingly, Tiffany was seated on her couch with a couple of suitcase near her front door. She was pissed. And she will not hide her burden from her best friend.

   "Taeyeon is right, this is the stupid thing to do Tiff" 

After listening to her bestfriend the whole situation and what happened before the time being, Jessica was all out of giving her bestfriend a piece of her.

   "I can't believe we're really having this conversation" Jessica shakes her head, she was pacing in front of Tiffany with an annoyed face. "You're so stupid, you didn't even give her a damn signal and even give her a fair chance, you just blurted that out one day and you expect her to it up and move on? Now you're here because you want to show her that you're serious about moving out?" Jessica shakes her head in disbelief. "You can't be serious"

   "I'm serious about this Jess, I am cutting ties with her and I know all of you will probably disagree and think I'm doing this without thinking but I have fully made my decision now, I can no longer be with her"

   "You can't just end everything with her just like that!" She was losing it, Tiffany was making her lose her cool. "You're practically married to her just without those legal papers, that's how deep your relationship with her. I am sure you can't go on a day without her"

   "That's where you're wrong" Tiffany stood up as well. "Every damn minute I was with her all I wish is to disappear and be anywhere else, she suffocates me, its not the same anymore, when I'm around with her it doesn't feel right anymore"

   "Shut the up you have no right to say that" Jessica clench her jaw and stood right in front of her bestfriend. "You may be my first friend but I cared for Taeyeon just much as I do with you"

Tiffany stands firmly with her decision, after all those forethoughts that Jessica had prompted on her, after all those convincing from Jessica she remains still with her decision. And Jessica finally gave up on her, and Tiffany appreciated that. She was tired of arguing with her. She needs someone that will understand her and Jessica must be that person out of all the people.

The time seems to move so fast, her phone rang indicating a call from Taeyeon and texts of being on her way of fetching her from her work. Tiffany didn't bother of replying to anything other than that one text she sent earlier. 

"I'm moving out, I'm sorry"

But Taeyeon ignored her text, she didn't even reply to that and just proceeded on letting her know that she's on her way to Tiffany's office. Which she wasn't even there. And Tiffany was not planning of letting Taeyeon know her whereabouts either. 

A knock on Jessica's door was heard soon around 8 p.m., Jessica and Tiffany look at each other before the older lifted herself and walk towards the door, opening a little bit and there was Taeyeon, looking back at her with red swollen eyes, her face looks paler than usual. Jessica almost wants to let her in but then she thought about the other person inside. She couldn't.

"Hi Sica" Taeyeon greeted with a weak tired smile. "I need to talk to her" 

"W-who?" Jessica knows that there's no way that she'll get away with this, Taeyeon knows her so well and stuttering with her words surely just affirmed it.

"I'll wait here" Taeyeon never bother answering the obvious, she looks up to the gloomy sky as she turns around, hands on her long usual coat. 

"Taeyeon I... I don't think she wants to talk to you"

Jessica felt the worst person ever for saying that out loud, she knows Taeyeon doesn't deserve this and she surely hate Tiffany for making her do this. When Taeyeon turned to her, there it was again, that weak tired smile that she has been putting on.

"No worries, I'll still wait here" 

"Give her time to think Taengu" Jessica said and almost regretted even considering on siding her bestfriend. "Let her be for now"

"As much as I want to respect that I can't, Sica" Taeyeon's voices shakily. "I need to talk to her, I need to fix this, you want us to fix this do you?"

Jessica hates this burdensome situation she's currently in. And seeing Taeyeon looking at her like that was enough for her to give in. She can't do it.

"Please, I need to talk to her"

-----

Tiffany step out from the door and hesitated on going any closer at Taeyeon, by the time Taeyeon turns around and met her eyes, the older one gave her a smile that didn't reach her ears and approaches her slowly, Taeyeon had probably felt her tensing when she stops a meter away from her.

"I'll let you stay here tonight, only because I kinda.... drop the glass from my grip and I still haven't clean up the broken pieces yet" Taeyeon looks down. "Jessica can make you breakfast, right?" 

"Taeyeon..." Tiffany closes her eyes. "Don't do this"

"Relax, I know you need time" Taeyeon took a careful step. "And I'm here to give you that. I'll wait for you"

"You don't have to, Taeyeon" Tiffany shifted her eyes and look at the dark road ahead of them. "I'm sorry I know it's hard, it's hard for me too but this is the right thing to do..."

"You're just saying that. You don't mean any of that"

"I'm going in" Tiffany snapped, she was not going to repeat herself. "Be careful on your way home, goodnight"

She rushed to the door as she let herself in, she heard Taeyeon calling her name as she walks away but she didn't bother on turning around. She leaned her body against the closed door and heard a knocking outside.

"Fany" A knock. "Fany please, let's talk about this baby" more knocks followed as Taeyeon keep calling her name. 

Tiffany's tears roll downs hearing Taeyeon pleads, she keeps reminding herself why she's doing this, she needs to be brave and face the consequences that will lead them. She definitely knows that Taeyeon won't take this break up well and this is one of the reasons why she keeps delaying their break-up. She can't handle hurting Taeyeon. 

Jessica hugs her bestfriend tightly when Tiffany had gone into a crying mess, the knocks outside was nowhere to be heard by now, but Tiffany was still by the door, tears uncontrollably falling. Because no matter how she felt cold on Taeyeon's presence, she was still the person that Tiffany once love more than everything in the world. She was still the person that she had thought that she couldn't live without and maybe, she wonders, for the first time, she wonders if her decision was the right thing to do. 

"Everything is gonna be alright Tiff, as much as I hate you for what you've done I hate seeing you crying like this" 

------

A week later...

   "I miss you" 

She read the message and turn off the led, Taeyeon was still sending her texts and calling her even though all she had done is to reject it all. These past days, Taeyeon hasn't shown up at Jessica's place or neither at her work, she was giving her space but Taeyeon still insists on communicating on her via phone, which Tiffany never bothers on responding. Its the first step of freeing herself. 

   She only told Bora about it, and Bora was the contrary of Jessica's reaction. She supported Tiffany in every way and even invited her ongoing clubbing to celebrate her being single. Bora understands her so well, that all she said was everything that Tiffany wants to hear. 

"If you're not happy anymore then don't force yourself. If there's no feeling involved in a relationship then I don't see the reason of being together at all, you made the right thing, Taeyeon will eventually move on" That was enough for Tiffany to breath. 

"Hey!" 

Tiffany heard that voice again, and she turned around with a smile this time, Sokjin was walking towards her and she slows down for him to catch her up. Oddly, this scene seems to happen often. Tiffany and Sokjin would coincidentally bump with each other by the time Tiffany was heading out from her office.

"Hey" She greeted the man, the man she grew comfortable with because unlike any man from the office, Sokjin was so far the only man that didn't try to flirt with her while subtle hinting her of how unlikely for her to be in a relationship with a girl. Sokjin was actually fine with that. But he didn't know that they already broke up and thus hearing Sokjin talking about Taeyeon made her uncomfortable.

"What does she looks like? I mean your girlfriend? I mean, she must be that gorgeous for you to turn down us men?" Sokjin grins. "Does she have short hair? Like a dude?"

The picture of Taeyeon having short manly hair instantly flash on her mind and she couldn't help but smile at that thought. She shakes her head as her answer, Sokjin hummed in response. 

"Does she wear manly attire?"

Tiffany looks down to herself, she's wearing her old boring office suit. The one that she and Taeyeon bought, exact styles, just different colors. "Just like this" 

"What? she wears a tight skirt?"

Tiffany nods. The smile still evident on her face. Though, she still hopes that Sokjin would stop talking about her. 

"She must be one hell of a chic then," Sokjin remarked to himself. "

They made their way to the glass tall door as they exited the building. Sokjin keeps on talking about Taeyeon and Tiffany let him, she wasn't ready for everyone to know that she and her girlfriend broke up. 

They headed down the short stair to the pavement when she caught a glimpse of Taeyeon, leaning behind her car, hands in her long coat. Tiffany's breath was caught in the air.

Once their eyes met, Taeyeon didn't waste time and meet her halfway on the stairs. 

"Fany" 

"What are you doing here?" 

Taeyeon was about to answer but finally realized that Tiffany was not standing by herself, she was beside a man she didn't know of. Her eyes shifted and all her attention was now at the man.

Taeyeon suddenly felt her heart dropping at the possibility. 

When Taeyeon look at the person beside her, Tiffany felt the need to explain everything to avoid getting the situation worsen further. "This is Sokjin, a colleague of mine"

"Hi" The man gives her an awkward smiled and Taeyeon looked straight to his eyes. 

"You're not going to introduce me Fany?" Taeyeon clenches her jaw. 

Tiffany sighed. "Sokjin, this is Taeyeon"

"Her girlfriend" Taeyeon added in a beat, hinting signals to the man to not mess with her. "And I'm taking my girlfriend with me" And she grabs Tiffany's hand and pulled her behind. 

"Taeyeon stop! I said stop!"

But Taeyeon didn't. Sokjin looks at her colleague being drag by the other girl and he stood there confused. 

Taeyeon pushed Tiffany inside the passenger seat and locked her in, she headed to the driver's seat and got a hard smack on her shoulder as soon as she sat down. She refused to make a sound of pain. 

"Open the door right now"

"No" Taeyeon turn on the engine and grip the handwheel, pushing the gas as she speed up "We're going home, I'm tired of waiting for sake, you're not breaking up with me"

"Stop the car!"

"Who's that man huh? Are you ing with him? Is he the reason why!!"

"Taeyeon I need you to stop the car!"

Taeyeon step on the gas more, accelerating the speed.

"Is he?! Are you cheating on me?!"

"STOP THE CAR!"

"NO!"

"STOP THE CAR TAEYEON!"

And Taeyeon did so abruptly that their body move forward so fast and hard, only to be abruptly pulled again by the force. Tiffany was trembling in fears and she tried hard to regain her calm, she exhaled and turned to give Taeyeon a hard glare. Taeyeon was looking straight expressionless to the road ahead of them, unbothered by the passing cars that giving them a warning honk behind. 

"I never once cheated on you" Tiffany suppressed the tears that were beginning to form on her eyes. "I'm breaking up with you simply because I no longer see the point of being with you and this..." the first tears finally rolls down as she blinks. "This just proven that I made the right thing" And that, she steps out of the car and banged the door closed. Hurriedly walking away as far as she could, never looking back to the person that was still on the car, staring at the space, as if her soul just taken out from her body. As if the life itself just died on her. 

-----

One month later...

"What's with the long face? Come on, that guy over there is staring at you, just stared back and he'll saunter his way to you"

Tiffany gave her friend a smile, that didn't reach anything though.

One month after the break up she received nothing from Taeyeon and she felt relieved that Taeyeon had finally given her the peace that she wanted, the freedom that she wants, and she was now, in the crowded club with her close colleague as her company, she has been going places and doing things she once never had time off and that's exactly what she's seeking. As soon as she confirmed the rumor that she and Taeyeon broke up, Tiffany was so pleased that her co-workers are there when her real friends couldn't, and simply avoided her. No one, not even the Maknaes, or Seohyun sided her when she told them the break-up. All of them were devastated and all they cared were how Taeyeon feeling for the matter, no, no one-sided her, they didn't give a damn about Tiffany's side at all. And that, she was grateful that she can still have her colleague with her. 

But despite of being single again, she wasn't feeling of seeing anyone, granted its only a month from the break up, also must be because its been a while since her status has been on a relationship ever since she was still on college and her mind didn't still use of the idea of being single again.

This is what she wants. This is what she exactly wants. To let herself be the person that she was before. To stay late with no one being concern about her state. To get loose and drink with no one stopping her. To enjoy life with no one waiting for her to come home, to see things when she couldn't when someone is blocking the view.

"Are you missing her?" Bora asked beside her, sipping the wine after. 

Tiffany shakes her head, no. "It just feels weird. I haven't exactly been this out-going, it's new for me"

"That's normal, you'll get used to it. When I broke up with my boyfriend, I do miss him sometimes, especially the , sometimes I think that I made a wrong decision but no, it is just all a phase, I got over him and I'm happy now, he's not the one for me"

"How do you know that he's not the one for you?"

"I just knew. He's not the keeper type and sometimes he forgot to fetch me from work" Bora laughs. "As silly as it is, yes, I broke up with him because he forgot those simple routines"

Taeyeon never once left her hanging of waiting. 

"I just knew that we're not going to last, he knew it too"

"So how's Taeyeon doing so far?" Her other colleague butted in from the conversation 

"I--I don't know"

"Break-up is painful even though you're the one who came up with it" Suli states "Both of you were hurting with different reasons" She went on. "Taeyeon is hurting because she still loves and wants you back, while you were hurting because you're hurting her not because you still have feelings for her but because you used to have feelings for her, does that make sense?"

It does. At the same time, it doesn't. But Tiffany nodded anyway.

Tiffany went home feeling the cold wind brushing her exposed skin, she was wearing a dress and covered it with a jacket, the one that Taeyeon bought for her. That, she realized straight after taking the thing off of her, disregarding it down to the couch and headed to her room, Jessica must be asleep in her room since its past 3 in the early morning

Her phone suddenly lit up and she frowns. Who would be that person texting her at 3 am? Approaching the device with her lightheaded self, she read the contact name and her eyes glued at it. 

Taetae. It reads. And she never even have replaced the nickname yet. 

She hesitated of knowing the content, but the curiosity has won over her so she reached out to her device and open it. 

"Goodnight"

 Was all it said and Tiffany frowns upon reading the one-word text? Moreover, how could Taeyeon knew that she would just about to take her sleep? Her mind grew alarmed and before she made sense of everything, she caught a glimpse of lights from the slit of the window, she hurriedly made her way towards it. Opening the window slit a little and saw the black car that she exactly knew the owner of. Right there parked at Jessica's front lawn. The owner of the text was behind that tinted car and Tiffany wondered what was she's doing to herself. Why would she be there outside in the middle of the night? Taeyeon was a fool of torturing herself like that. 

Her phone beeps from her hand and she looks down to read it, only to look back again to the one who's behind the text. 

"I miss you" 

She grips the device tightly, she knew better than to give her a response, she shouldn't even think about it. She wishes for her to go away and move on. Taeyeon needs to let her go. 

Tiffany felt like its been forever when the car finally decided to move and drive off to the road. 

Tiffany closed the slit and just stood there lifelessly. The dizziness from the alcohol already left her body. 

---------

A/N: All I can say is that I apologize for being MIA for 5097342years. And now I'm back with a long- chapter, I hope you'd forgive me :<