Jeongyeon knows this trip will be a mess from A to Z when she locks open the door to their room and finds a double bed.

It’s not even a big double bed, a bed you could easily sink into, it’s barely wider than a bed for one person.

“Oh”, Sana says when she enters right after Jeongyeon, “looks like we’re sleeping in one bed tonight.”

Jeongyeon gulps. “Yeah. Looks like it.”

There is a pause, and when Sana opens to add something, Jeongyeon rushes to the bathroom, excusing herself with a quick, “I’ll just get ready for the others, you can already go, I’ll catch up later.”

She waits behind the door until she hears Sana slowly walking away, and it’s almost like her steps leave a trail of low disappointment behind. (Maybe Jeongyeon is just interpreting things into it. After all, Sana is not what one would call see-through.)

 

She hasn’t been sure about their Japanese debut - she does run the position of the pessimist in her group -, because of all possible reasons: maybe they would get rejected and their debut would be a whole flop, maybe the Korean members and Tzuyu mess something up, language wise, and summon a new scandal.

But Jeongyeon has to admit that with three Japanese members, the chance to make a mistake is relatively small, and that they were promoted well in Japan and thus probably already gained some popularity. This is why she and her members meet up the night before their showcase (the entertainment has granted them a free evening since they’re doing so well).

Jeongyeon finds herself sitting between Mina and - oh, god - Sana, and luckily it’s Mina on her preferred side, so she can easily initiate conversations between the two of them, more or less ignoring Sana to her right. (Ignores how the heat from Sana’s bare thighs, pressed against her own, travels up to her face, making her flushing and Mina asking her if she drank too much.)

 

Sadly, up to a point, Mina leaves with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, leaving Jeongyeon alone.

 

(“I think I’m going to sleep”, Mina yawns, stretching her arms and back.

“Are you sure?”, Jeongyeon squeals, desperation bubbling up her chest at the thought of having to talk with Sana. Not that she doesn’t want to spend time with her. The thing is that she might want to spend a lot more time with her. More than appropriate for, uh, regular friends.

“Yeah”, Mina mumbles, not sensing the emotional distress Jeongyeon’s in, and gets up.

“I’ll come with you”, Tzuyu says, and Chaeyoung stands up at once as the words leave Tzuyu’s mouth. “Yeah, me too!”

Jeongyeon scoffs at her last chance of surviving this evening, but she’s probably not one to judge. After all, Chaeyoung is almost as whipped for Tzuyu as Jeongyeon is for Sana. The difference is, Tzuyu knows and they share this almost disgusting romantic relationship where they wholesomely, obviously love each other to death. It’s not that easy for Jeongyeon and Sana.)

 

Jeongyeon sinks a bit further into her chair. Besides the object of avoidance and her, only Nayeon, Momo, Jihyo and Dahyun are left. She looks to Nayeon and Momo - not a chance to interrupt them, they’re in their own world as usual, snuggling closely with each other. (Jeongyeon tries hard not to gag, if not for Momo’s sake. While Nayeon wouldn’t care, Momo would probably feel hurt, and Jeongyeon is not that much of an to hurt Hirai Momo.)

Dahyun and Jihyo are laughing together, too ; and even if she did try to talk with them, Jihyo would see that Sana’s left out immediately, and knowing Jihyo, she would know the reason at once, too. (Worse would be if Dahyun figured out - that girl would probably tell Sana accidentally as well.)

So Jeongyeon swallows her fear and turns to Sana, who has a weak smile on her lips. “Hey”, she says softly, and she can see the small smile bloom bigger as she speaks. “Aren’t you tired as well? Big day tomorrow.”

Sana shrugs. “Not really. I mean, totally, but I can handle it.” Jeongyeon looks a bit closer, now that she has the permission to soak up all of Sana’s little details. (Every time but now just would draw attention at how much she wants to look at Sana every day at every time.)

Sana has got eye bags under her eyes and is barely able to keep them open at all. Yet she still wears - smudged, messy - makeup, and Jeongyeon decides for her.

“No, you have to sleep”, she mumbles and stands up, dragging Sana up her seat. “We’re going”, she tells Dahyun and Jihyo who are looking up to them, “see you guys tomorrow.” Sana’s head lays against Jeongyeon’s chest - Jeongyeon is wearing her favorite shoes, the ones with a big sole, and as she already towers over Sana bare-feet, now their height difference is outstanding.

Sana sighs against her chest, wrapping her arms around her waist so she can stay in this position while they’re able to walk to their room. Jeongyeon tries her best not to shaken Sana as they head their destination, she doesn’t even notice Sana’s hands on her hip. (Barely, at least. A burning hot touch turned lukewarm in the very moment.)

“You can take the bed”, Jeongyeon immediately says when they enter the room, carefully grabbing Sana’s hands to release them from her body. “Where will you sleep?”, Sana frowns, but her gaze turns scolding when she notices Jeongyeon is looking at the floor.

“Jeongyeon, no”, she sighs. “I know you’re attentive, but I won’t let you sleep on the ground. The bed’s big enough for the both of us.” Jeongyeon wants to disagree because, no, it’s not, unless they sleep arm in arm with their legs tangled, but she just nods.

Maybe this night will pass quickly.

 

It’s not until she finds herself back to back with Sana, Sana’s hair on her own neck, to decide that it won’t.

 

It’s not that she’s not tired - she is knackered from the flight and the exhausting day -, but with Sana Minatozaki this close to her, her heart isn’t able to relax.

Additionally, guilt is nagging on her guts, so she eventually whispers, “Sana? Are you awake?”

Not even a second passes until the reply comes, “Yeah.”

Jeongyeon waits for a bit more to come, but Sana’s breaths are as steady as ever, so she takes the next step.

 

“Sorry for being an today.”

“It’s okay, I’m used to it.”

 

Sana has to giggle for Jeongyeon’s heart to recognize that she’s joking. She idly turns around and snuggles closer ; Jeongyeon feels her hands right under her ribcage, soaring above Jeongyeon’s bare stomach. (She hopes Sana doesn’t notice the goosebumps all over her body.)

“Why were you one, though?”, Sana asks, seemingly without any emotional participation, but Jeongyeon isn’t fooled by it ; despite her vain, emotionless question she’s hurt. (It’s why Jeongyeon’s hurt, too.)

“Do you…”, she struggles to answer, “do you remember that one time when we kissed while practicing?”

When Sana doesn’t reply instantly, Jeongyeon clears and emphasizes her words again, “You know, the accident.”

“...the accident”, Sana repeats quietly, then she nods (Jeongyeon feels the movement on her back).

“Yeah. What about it?”

 

Courage vanishes.

 

“Nothing. Sorry I didn’t spend a lot of time with you today.”

They both listen to the clock ticking for a few seconds. Jeongyeon bites on her lip. Coward. Just tell her it wasn’t an accident from your side.

 

“Jeong?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sad.”

Jeongyeon turns around until she faces Sana (she’s thankful for the night in this very moment as it makes sure Sana doesn’t see her red face, flushed in consequence of Sana and her being almost nose-to-nose).

“What’s wrong?”

Sana sighs. “I don’t know. But I do know that I need comfort now.”

 

Coming from anyone else, it would sound like a demand, but Sana has the gift of making words bittersweet by wrapping her tongue around them.

“Well, what do you want me to do?”, Jeongyeon whispers, her heart beating into her fingertips because Sana is so, so close and she cannot think straight. (Her courage is coming back.)

“Think about it, Yoo Jeongyeon”, Sana breathes and leans in until their noses touch, her hand now laying on Jeongyeon’s thigh.

Jeongyeon tilts her head slightly, and she thinks about how perfectly her lips would fit on Sana’s. It’s so dark Sana can’t give her any hints about what she wants, so it feels like Jeongyeon’s decision.

 

And because Jeongyeon doesn’t want anything more than kissing Sana Minatozaki, she lays her lips on hers.

 

It’s not much knowing, but a lot of feeling ; feeling how soft Sana’s lips are and how warm her tongue in is.

 

And eventually, just like tides, after they stop kissing and Sana snuggles against her, Jeongyeon wonders if she made the right decision.

 

The next day, Jeongyeon mixes up words in Japanese, but it’s okay, because Momo, Sana and Mina are there to help her. Their showcase is excellent - exhausting, but extraordinarily good, as their managers tell them -, and the same day, they’re already on the plane back to Korea.

(Sana’s next to Dahyun, laughing and flirting as always, and Jeongyeon tries not to stare at them when Sana lays her hand on Dahyun’s thigh. Thus, Jeongyeon puts her magazine right in front of her face.

It’s not working, though, as her gaze seems to burn right through the pages and Sana’s giggling rings in her ears.)

 

Then, just a flick later, they’re in Switzerland, and she’s forced to be with Sana yet another time.

Before, she could perfectly avoid her ; avoid all of twice, in fact, by practicing and visiting her family which thankfully lives far, far away. (Momo doesn’t spend a lot of time in their room, so Jeongyeon has it all to herself. There’s often people - or the same person - knocking, but luckily locks exist.)

She and Sana didn’t talk about it, maybe that’s what messes with a Jeongyeon’s head so hard - the fact that Sana can kiss her without regrets, without looking back. (Thoughts about Sana kissing other people, maybe even other twice members without Jeongyeon knowing crosses her mind and it hurts.

More than it stings it actually drives her insane, so she’d rather not think about it.)

 

Even though Jeongyeon shares a room with Momo and Tzuyu, she has to be “partners“ with Sana. It’s almost ironic, because it’s what Jeongyeon wanted - sharing a somewhat official bond. Just not as traveling partners, but girlfriends.

 

The first time Jeongyeon runs off, Sana is laughing, the third time she just sulks.

 

(“Yoo Jeongyeon!”, she calls after her, panting, and Jeongyeon stops because she feels the camera on her back. Her smile isn’t fake, because Sana always makes her feel warm, even at those times when she makes her feel like .

“Sorry”, Jeongyeon laughs, patting her on the back, “I get too excited. I want to see all of Switzerland.”

(I don’t want to see you.)

Sana smirks back, but, not like the thousand of fans watching them via video, Jeongyeon can tell her eyes have shifted. Have turned slightly more tired, a little bit more confused, an ounce more frustrated.

Then, she’s the same Sana she has always been and Jeongyeon is the one being left behind, having to wonder about Sana Minatozaki and her mysterious behavior all alone.)

 

“Ready for the day?”, Sana says and grabs Jeongyeon’s hand. “Yes!”, Jeongyeon lies and smiles. (For the cameras, maybe, but all she can think about is Sana, anyway, so there’s a chance it could be genuine. She doesn’t know anymore.)

They wander around in Bern, and Jeongyeon doesn’t dare to pull away her hand from Sana - she’s scared she’ll blow her cover to both their fans and her members -, and she catches herself thinking about how this would be the perfect date. (Mina and Dahyun gave them flowers they swore they got for free, it’s a beautiful city, the weather’s sunny, she’s holding Sana’s hand.)

But it’s not, because Sana doesn’t think about her like that.

She gives her attention, sure ; she gives herself to not only Twice, but everyone. Jeongyeon doesn’t want Sana for herself, no, that would be obsessive and possessive and probably all kinds of wrong - but she wants to know where she stands. Are they acquaintances? Friends? Lovers? Was Jeongyeon just a toy Sana got tired of playing with?

“What are you thinking about, Jeong?”, Sana gushes, tiptoeing around her, smirking in an almost disgusting adorably way. Jeongyeon gives her a weak smile.

“Oh, nothing, really. What about you?”

She looks into the sun to hide the strained grin on her lips which surely decorates her face she right now, hoping the crunched face will distract their viewers. (She has a cover to keep.)

“I just thought how cute you look in that top!”, Sana beams, obviously glad Jeongyeon took the hook for her little compliment, and Jeongyeon flushes. She feels proud for a little moment - she chose that top because she knew it would appeal to Sana. (It shows her shoulders and is more revealing than the things she usually wears.)

It puts a small damper on her when she realizes Sana has probably said that to someone else already.

 

 

Jeongyeon hasn’t had noticed Sana before Sixteen, but, oh, how she did then.

Of course she knew about Sana’s existence, but Jeongyeon has never been a really social person, so she stuck to her original friend line (which mostly consisted of Nayeon and Jihyo).

Even that silly first stage she saw? Jeongyeon totally fell for it. Unsurprisingly.

She doesn’t have a type, but if she did, Sana would score straight A’s in all categories. (Unbelievably pretty. Charmingly cute. Extremely funny. Admirable ambitious, as she has proved in various situations, and despite her sometimes clumsy actions she’s also able to be serious when it’s necessary.

She’s close to being damn perfect, Jeongyeon concludes.)

Sana managed to spin her mind so hard Jeongyeon couldn’t even focus on her performances properly.

(Got her into some fights with Nayeon, especially during their Happy performance practice, and it was frustrating because no one had an idea of what - or rather, who - was going around in Jeongyeon’s head.)

 

Of course, Jihyo found out - she’s got her eyes everywhere -, but was kind enough not to mention her crush to this day. She probably thinks it has vanished by now.

But it hasn’t. Jeongyeon sees it more than ever when Sana pulls her into a hug she tries to resist and looks her in the eyes with absolute adoration flickering in her own.

 

Their schedule keeps Jeongyeon busy (distracted, rather), and with their latest comeback LIKEY she’s luckily able to do so.

The not-so-lucky thing is the part in the choreography where Sana is allowed to be as close as she wants to Jeongyeon. (Her hands on her shoulders, Jeongyeon smiles at Jihyo. Her hands on her waist, Jeongyeon turns her head a bit more away from Sana. Her hands way too low and definitely not where they’re supposed to be, but despite red cheeks Jeongyeon is able to keep the act up.)

 

Anyhow, they tend to spend more time together. Jeongyeon doesn’t know how it happened, but she slowly starts to hang out more with her members again (to which Sana belongs, obviously). They’re happy to have her again, so she’s happy, too. Also talking to Sana helps. (Not with suffocating her crush, hell no. But it’s good for dealing with it. She knows Sana doesn’t return her feelings, but it hurts a little less.)

 

“The fans have noticed we look cute together”, Sana tells Jeongyeon one day and wraps her arms around her. Jeongyeon hums, trying to look like she’s still able to concentrate on the book in her hands (she’s not, not with Sana that close, breathing on her neck, causing her skin to bloom goosebumps).

“Was about time, right?”, Sana tries again, and Jeongyeon nods absentmindedly. She hears a sigh next to her ear and immediately feels bad for treating Sana like this. (“I’m sorry”, she wants to say, “I’m sorry I fell in love with you and can’t deal with it.”)

 

Jeongyeon isn’t able to draw the connections right away, but when they comeback again and yet another part with Sana is added, she kind of starts to believe Sana herself has to do something with it.

Sana hugs her tightly when she does the heartshaker thingy, sometimes even blows her kisses or does a - cute - grimace for her, and Jeongyeon is kind of flying.

(It’s stupid, she knows, but she imagines Sana begging to her managers for them to make this choreography so she can be with her Jeongyeon. Pathetic, Jeongyeon scolds herself.)

She isn’t the one - the only one - in Sana’s heart, but for ten seconds a stage, she can pretend she is.

Suddenly, she jumps a bit higher and her dance movements have a bit more energy in them, she is more confident in her appearance. (All because of ten seconds in about two days. Jeongyeon wonders what a lifetime with Sana could do to her.)

On the other side, it’s just choreography. It’s not real, and Jeongyeon is reminded of it whenever Sana does “their” part with someone else. (Jeongyeon loves Tzuyu to death, she swears, but when she sees Sana hugging her the same way she hugs Jeongyeon, she wants to pull them apart.)

 

And suddenly, the fake luck she has build up with their part bursts into thousand of pieces. They’re on a stage, waiting for the winners for some award to be announced, and Sana leans towards her, grabbing her hands, and Jeongyeon snaps.

“Not now, Sana”, she says, roughly releasing her hands from Sana’s seductive, so irresistible touch.

Sana frowns, actually looking concerned. “What is it, Jeong? Are you feeling unwell?”

When Jeongyeon doesn’t answer - she’s trying too hard to keep her facade up, fearing that one word would crumble it -, Sana wants to cup Jeongyeon’s face, but her hand gets slapped away.

“Jeongyeon…”, Sana says lowly just to get interrupted.

“Don’t do this to me”, Jeongyeon whispers, both miserable and insanely mad at once, “please. I’m not someone you can play with when you want to.” She chokes on her words and tries her best to look into Sana’s shocked, horribly sad eyes.

 

“Sana, leave me alone. I mean it. Go!”

 

She has become louder with the past words, but Sana’s not reacting. Rather, she has adjusted her face to a calm one. Jeongyeon furrows her brows, flinching when Sana gently puts her hand on her cheek.

“Camera”, is the only thing she says, and Jeongyeon immediately straightens her back. Just now she feels the camera soaring above them. She even manages to put on a smile. (For the fans.)

 

She goes to her room as soon as they’ve arrived at the dorms.

(“Jeong? Why is the door locked?”, she hears Momo asking, and Jeongyeon suppresses a sob. “S-Sorry, Momo”, she manages to say, voice unsteady, “please sleep at Mina’s tonight.”

“Jeongyeon…”

“Please.” (“I can’t talk about it right now.”)

Momo sighs, clearly hurt, but says nevertheless, “alright. See you tomorrow. Good night, Jeong.”)

 

Somehow she can’t gather the strength - the energy - to get up and fall onto her bed, so she stays on the floor, head against the locked door (maybe if she presses hard enough the bad thoughts Sana has planted into it will fall out of it).

She waits and waits, but doesn’t know what for, and when it knocks yet again, her guts tell her that whatever she was anticipating has arrived.

“Jeongyeon?” It’s Sana’s voice.

Jeongyeon looks onto her stomach and thinks, “Who needs instincts anyway?”

She wants to ignore her, punish both Sana and herself with the silence treatment, but, just as many, many things in Jeongyeon’s love life, it’s not working. (Of course it’s not. It’s Sana. Things never go as planned when she’s with Sana. She hates it and she adores it.)

“Jeongyeon, let me in”, she hears the gentle command, then, even softer, “please.”

 

Jeongyeon sighs, because, who is she to not let Sana Minatozaki get what she wants? And she gets up and open the door.

 

Sana looks as bad as she does, with red and puffy eyes, and the first time since they’ve been knowing each other Jeongyeon feels like Sana’s sincere. (That’s probably why she lets her in. Because of that, and, well, because Jeongyeon’s hopelessly in love with her. But mostly the first one.)

 

“I’m sorry” Sana croaks, her body trembling, and Jeongyeon watches in shock as she starts crying again. “What for?”, she manages to ask back, quickly gesturing her to get into the room (as she’s already captured Jeongyeon’s heart, she may enter her room as well, right?).

“Y-You told me to leave you alone”, Sana mumbles and Jeongyeon’s heart breaks into a million little pieces. (She immediately hates herself. Look at what you did to her.)

“No, I’m sorry”, she mutters, sitting down on her bed. Sana carefully sits down as well, leaving a big gap between them. (It’s weird, proximity makes Jeongyeon feel uneasy, but somehow distance is worse. She’ll never quite learn how to deal with that, she guesses.)

 

“I didn’t mean that. I just had a rough week.” A rough past months.

Sana looks at her with a sad smile decorating her face. “You don’t say things like that without meaning them, Jeong”, she says and Jeongyeon’s guts turn at the sorrow in her voice.

“I will… bother you no more after this conversation, but I just”, she takes a shaken breath, “want to say that you’re not a toy, Jeongyeon, not to anyone and certainly not to me. God, especially not to me…”

Sana wipes over her eyes and Jeongyeon tries to progress her words, failing miserably. What?

“I thought I had seen signs”, she continues, “but anytime I tried to get closer, you would shake me off, and I guess I just interpreted everything wrongly.”

 

Jeongyeon just stares at her. This sounds awfully familiar.

 

“I’ll go n-“

“Sana, you like me back?”

 

The words have escaped before anyone could have stopped them, and now Sana’s the one to be shocked.

“Yeah”, she squeals, the tears on her cheeks mildly glowing in the dark, “but what do you mean, like me b-“

 

This time, Jeongyeon doesn’t wait (god, she has wasted too much time with that), and she takes Sana’s face in her hands to finally, finally kiss her.

It’s better than everything she has done before, and far greater than their first two kisses they shared, because this one didn’t grow from an accident nor comfort, but from genuine, actual love.

 

Sana’s lips are on hers and their hearts are tangled, victoriously bursting from luck and butterflies.

 

 

“You’re what?”, Chaeyoung examines, while Dahyun high fives with Sana and Jihyo nods knowingly.

“A couple, yes”, Jeongyeon stresses, proudly wrapping her arm around Sana’s waist as if to show that she’s hers. (“You know I’m all yours, right?”, Sana likes to say when wrapping her arms around Jeongyeon’s shoulders, and Jeongyeon grins, deciding to reply through kisses rather than through words.)

Jihyo and Tzuyu say “You all didn’t know?” at once, Nayeon looks genuinely impressed and Mina mumbles, “But what about the dating ban?”

Only Momo actually congratulates them with a big hug, and once the other members notice, they all quickly stand up and gather around Jeongyeon and Sana, pulling them into a very messy, very close group-hug-session (as Jihyo calls it).

Jeongyeon laughs and Sana chuckles, pressed to her girlfriend’s chest. “I love you, you know that?”, Jeongyeon whispers, and Sana pulls her a bit closer.

 

“I love you too, I hope you’ll always remember that.”

 

And in the mess around them, their family surrounding them, they kiss. And Jeongyeon knows that this year is going to be the best of her life.

 

---

a/n: Hello, everyone! This is my present for Christmas and New Years Eve  for all the starved Jeongsa fans (I feel that). This was originally supposed to be more fluff, actually, but I still like the way this turned out!

I started writing in English in late January and what can I say? I still have to improve a lot, but overall Im very happy to have written twelve pieces in total.

My own personal favorite of all of them is this wjsn oneshot, so if you have time and want to, please read it!

Happy Holidays and a great new year to all of you!

- boxuan

P.S.: I know they are like, super popular but fat shoutout for @jeongsas / @jeongsyeons on twitter for making me love jeongsa..... go follow them if you havent already! And even more importantly, Let Jeongsa Shine