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"Full already, Jaeduck?"

Yeah, I guess that's the start of our story. It's quite normal. We started as buddies. He's a year older than me but he doesn't used that to boss around when I am with him. I can say, or admit rather, the moment I noticed how nice and beautiful his heart is, a light shines in my dull heart. 

I always bought him some snacks whenever I have time that's why that's the question that I can still recall whenever I think about the memories that Jaeduck and I spent together. It was as if, the question itself already stick on his name. I always treat him. I thought before that maybe I just bought those foods to show how thankful I am for him to be part of my circle of friends, but I was wrong.

"I.. I think I love you.."

Little did I know, I was falling deeply in love with Jaeduck. I don't know how and when did it started but the moment I realized it, my feelings were already unstoppable. I can't put myself at ease whenever when I am with him. Damn, I can hear my heartbeat. I didn't know that love can do those in your body. It was overwhelming and terrifying at the same time. I don't even know what to do when he goes near me.

...That's why one summer night, I swallowed all the cowardness that I have and tell him the three words that I've kept in my heart for God knows how long it is, 

"Jaeduck.. I love you.. You don't need to tell it back to me tho. I just.." I sighed, "I just want to let it out so you'll know what I feel." 

It was supposed to be a romantic confession. But when I looked at him, shock is evident in his angelic face. Maybe he can't believe what he just heard. 

"Ya! Don't act as if you're shocked. I can't also believe the words coming out from my mouth but my whole body still function properly! Did you lose your tongue?!" He still looked at me with disbelief. Damn, those eyes.. I tried to keep my cool. "Alright.. Since you'll probably not react on everything that I'll say, just forget what I said earlier.. I need to hear 'nado saranghaeyo' from you, araseo?" I start to walk away from him, but before I reach the door I shout, "Sorry... But I will never give up until I hear those words from you, Duckie." With that, I take my leave. 

"Nado.." A smile flashed on his face, "Nado saranghaeyo, Suwonie!" 

The moment I heard those words, I thought my heart skip a beat. The feeling was so overwhelming, I can't even put it into words. Well, I guess that's how love works. It drives everyone insane. It's too good to be true that I just want to stop the time so I can hold Jaeduck's hand forever.. So I can see his smile and hear his voice that never failed to keep me calm. I just want to feel his presence. I don't want to leave his side..

Because.. I can't afford to lose him.

Damn it. that's the only thing that I wish for but I guess, life was playing tricks with me that time. I can't even remember properly how did it started. I just woke up one day that the man that I love the most, was already gone. That the person that mean the world to me, let go of my hand that he once held. 

He wanted to chase his dreams. 

I'm not against it. Who am I to stopped him on achieving his ambition? I am devastated because why did he left me just like that? Am I nothing compare to his dreams? How can he easily throw every moments that we shared together? How can he throw away our love? 

Maybe we're not meant for each other..

It was a night of elegance and grace. Sure, everyone looks good on their attire since it was the most awaited event for this month, Sunghoon and Jiwon's wedding. Everything is indeed perfect.

Well, not for me. 

It's not because, I'm not happy for them it's just that, this kind of gathering makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe because of... ah, stop thinking about him Suwon. You already forgot everything. 

I decided to take my leave. I can't stand it. 

As I walk towards my car, I noticed something. My tires are flat. Crap.

"It was okay when I drove here earlier." I said while scratching the back of my head, "what did just happen to these stupid tires?" 

I can't believe that this is happening to me right now. I just want to lay down to my bed since I'm already tired to deal with everything.

"I'll just leave it here tonight then." I said while walking away from the scene. 
It was just a normal late night stroll for me to reach the nearest subway station. I passed through several people, stalls, and restaurant. As simple as that, or so I thought. 

I was already infront of a flower shop when the rain started to pour. The thing is, I didn't bring any umbrella. I'll probably be soaked in water before I reach the station that's why I decides to enter the flower shop.

But the moment I opened the door, I hear a familiar voice. The soft, ear soothing sound of his voice that I will never forget. His laugh that I will probably not getting tired to see. This is really him. It's Jaeduck. The only person that I want to spend every single day of my life.

The moment I saw him, everything starts to echo inside of my head. My hands are trembling. I can even hear my own heartbeat. It was as if my heart finally returned. 
I started to walk towards him. Funny. Every memories that I tried hard to forget came flashing back to me right now. It was so overwhelming.

He looked on my direction, then a smile registered in his angelic face. And I will not deny it, a small hope embraced my heart. Hope that maybe, just maybe, our story which already came to an end, can have a continuation. 

But then, just when I am about to reach him, a man walk passed through me. 
"Tony-ah, what took you so long?" He asked while the guy he called Tony kissed his cheek. 

I stood there frozen. It was as if my nerves can't function properly. 

"Did you really wait that long for me?" Tony cup his face before he continued what he was saying, "Mianhae, yeobo.." 

After he said it, they walked out from the flower shop.

They walked away from where they are earlier.

He walked away..

Jaeduck walked away from me. From my life.. Again.

Damn it. My heart really lose its light.

 

 

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